the poor clare-第5部分

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horn　by　solitude　and　mysterious　sorrow。　　Then　she　took　up　her　tale；　and　in　few　brief　words；　told　me　of　her　wanderings　abroad　in　vain　search　after　her　daughter；　sometimes　in　the　wake　of　armies；　sometimes　in　camp；　sometimes　in　city。　　The　lady；　whose　waiting…woman　Mary　had　gone　to　be；　had　died　soon　after　the　date　of　her　last　letter　home；　her　husband；　the　foreign　officer；　had　been　serving　in　Hungary；　whither　Bridget　had　followed　him；　but　too　late　to　find　him。　　Vague　rumours　reached　her　that　Mary　had　made　a　great　marriage：　　and　this　sting　of　doubt　was　added；whether　the　mother　might　not　be　close　to　her　child　under　her　new　name；　and　even　hearing　of　her　every　day；　and　yet　never　recognizing　the　lost　one　under　the　appellation　she　then　bore。　　At　length　the　thought　took　possession　of　her；　that　it　was　possible　that　all　this　time　Mary　might　be　at　home　at　Coldholme；　in　the　Trough　of　Bolland；　in　Lancashire；　in　England；　and　home　came　Bridget；　in　that　vain　hope；　to　her　desolate　hearth；　and　empty　cottage。　　Here　she　had　thought　it　safest　to　remain；　if　Mary　was　in　life；　it　was　here　she　would　seek　for　her　mother。

I　noted　down　one　or　two　particulars　out　of　Bridget's　narrative　that　I　thought　might　be　of　use　to　me：　　for　I　was　stimulated　to　further　search　in　a　strange　and　extraordinary　manner。　　It　seemed　as　if　it　were　impressed　upon　me；　that　I　must　take　up　the　quest　where　Bridget　had　laid　it　down；　and　this　for　no　reason　that　had　previously　influenced　me　（such　as　my　uncle's　anxiety　on　the　subject；　my　own　reputation　as　a　lawyer；　and　so　on）；　but　from　some　strange　power　which　had　taken　possession　of　my　will　only　that　very　morning；　and　which　forced　it　in　the　direction　it　chose。

〃I　will　go；〃　said　I。　　〃I　will　spare　nothing　in　the　search。　　Trust　to　me。　　I　will　learn　all　that　can　be　learnt。　　You　shall　know　all　that　money；　or　pains；　or　wit　can　discover。　　It　is　true　she　may　be　long　dead：　　but　she　may　have　left　a　child。〃

〃A　child！〃　she　cried；　as　if　for　the　first　time　this　idea　had　struck　her　mind。　　〃Hear　him；　Blessed　Virgin！　he　says　she　may　have　left　a　child。　　And　you　have　never　told　me；　though　I　have　prayed　so　for　a　sign；　waking　or　sleeping！〃

〃Nay；〃　said　I；　〃I　know　nothing　but　what　you　tell　me。　　You　say　you　heard　of　her　marriage。〃

But　she　caught　nothing　of　what　I　said。　　She　was　praying　to　the　Virgin　in　a　kind　of　ecstasy；　which　seemed　to　render　her　unconscious　of　my　very　presence。

From　Coldholme　I　went　to　Sir　Philip　Tempest's。　　The　wife　of　the　foreign　officer　had　been　a　cousin　of　his　father's；　and　from　him　I　thought　I　might　gain　some　particulars　as　to　the　existence　of　the　Count　de　la　Tour　d'Auvergne；　and　where　I　could　find　him；　for　I　knew　questions　de　vive　voix　aid　the　flagging　recollection；　and　I　was　determined　to　lose　no　chance　for　want　of　trouble。　　But　Sir　Philip　had　gone　abroad；　and　it　would　be　some　time　before　I　could　receive　an　answer。　　So　I　followed　my　uncle's　advice；　to　whom　I　had　mentioned　how　wearied　I　felt；　both　in　body　and　mind；　by　my　will…o'…the…wisp　search。　He　immediately　told　me　to　go　to　Harrogate；　there　to　await　Sir　Philip's　reply。　　I　should　be　near　to　one　of　the　places　connected　with　my　search；　Coldholme；　not　far　from　Sir　Philip　Tempest；　in　case　he　returned；　and　I　wished　to　ask　him　any　further　questions；　and；　in　conclusion；　my　uncle　bade　me　try　to　forget　all　about　my　business　for　a　time。

This　was　far　easier　said　than　done。　　I　have　seen　a　child　on　a　common　blown　along　by　a　high　wind；　without　power　of　standing　still　and　resisting　the　tempestuous　force。　　I　was　somewhat　in　the　same　predicament　as　regarded　my　mental　state。　　Something　resistless　seemed　to　urge　my　thoughts　on；　through　every　possible　course　by　which　there　was　a　chance　of　attaining　to　my　object。　　I　did　not　see　the　sweeping　moors　when　I　walked　out：　　when　I　held　a　book　in　my　hand；　and　read　the　words；　their　sense　did　not　penetrate　to　my　brain。　　If　I　slept；　I　went　on　with　the　same　ideas；　always　flowing　in　the　same　direction。　　This　could　not　last　long　without　having　a　bad　effect　on　the　body。　　I　had　an　illness；　which；　although　I　was　racked　with　pain；　was　a　positive　relief　to　me；　as　it　compelled　me　to　live　in　the　present　suffering；　and　not　in　the　visionary　researches　I　had　been　continually　making　before。　　My　kind　uncle　came　to　nurse　me；　and　after　the　immediate　danger　was　over；　my　life　seemed　to　slip　away　in　delicious　languor　for　two　or　three　months。　　I　did　not　askso　much　did　I　dread　falling　into　the　old　channel　of　thoughtwhether　any　reply　had　been　received　to　my　letter　to　Sir　Philip。　　I　turned　my　whole　imagination　right　away　from　all　that　subject。　　My　uncle　remained　with　me　until　nigh　midsummer；　and　then　returned　to　his　business　in　London；　leaving　me　perfectly　well；　although　not　completely　strong。　　I　was　to　follow　him　in　a　fortnight；　when；　as　he　said；　〃we　would　look　over　letters；　and　talk　about　several　things。〃　　I　knew　what　this　little　speech　alluded　to；　and　shrank　from　the　train　of　thought　it　suggested；　which　was　so　intimately　connected　with　my　first　feelings　of　illness。　　However；　I　had　a　fortnight　more　to　roam　on　those　invigorating　Yorkshire　moors。

In　those　days；　there　was　one　large；　rambling　inn；　at　Harrogate；　close　to　the　Medicinal　Spring；　but　it　was　already　becoming　too　small　for　the　accommodation　of　the　influx　of　visitors；　and　many　lodged　round　about；　in　the　farm…houses　of　the　district。　　It　was　so　early　in　the　season；　that　I　had　the　inn　pretty　much　to　myself；　and；　indeed；　felt　rather　like　a　visitor　in　a　private　house；　so　intimate　had　the　landlord　and　landlady　become　with　me　during　my　long　illness。　　She　would　chide　me　for　being　out　so　late　on　the　moors；　or　for　having　been　too　long　without　food；　quite　in　a　motherly　way；　while　he　consulted　me　about　vintages　and　wines；　and　taught　me　many　a　Yorkshire　wrinkle　about　horses。　　In　my　walks　I　met　other　strangers　from　time　to　time。　Even　before　my　uncle　had　left　me；　I　had　noticed；　with　half…torpid　curiosity；　a　young　lady　of　very　striking　appearance；　who　went　about　always　accompanied　by　an　elderly　companion；hardly　a　gentlewoman；　but　with　something　in　her　look　that　prepossessed　me　in　her　favour。　The　younger　lady　always　put　her　veil　down　when　any　one　approached；　so　it　had　been　only　once　or　twice；　when　I　had　come　upon　her　at　a　sudden　turn　in　the　path；　that　I　had　even　had　a　glimpse　at　her　face。　　I　am　not　sure　if　it　was　beautiful；　though　in　after…life　I　grew　to　think　it　so。　　But　it　was　at　this　time　overshadowed　by　a　sadness　that　never　varied：　　a　pale；　quiet；　resigned　look　of　intense　suffering；　that　irresistibly　attracted　me；not　with　love；　but　with　a　sense　of　infinite　compassion　for　one　so　young　yet　so　hopelessly　unhappy。　　The　companion　wore　something　of　the　same　look：　　quiet　melancholy；　hopeless；　yet　resigned。　　I　asked　my　landlord　who　they　were。　　He　said　they　were　called　Clarke；　and　wished　to　be　considered　as　mother　and　daughter；　but　that；　for　his　part；　he　did　not　believe　that　to　be　their　right　name；　or　that　there　was　any　such　relationship　between　them。　They　had　been　in　the　neighbourhood　of　Harrogate　for　some　time；　lodging　in　a　remote　farm…house。　　The　people　there　would　tell　nothing　about　them；　saying　that　they　paid　handsomely；　and　never　did　any　harm；　so　why　should　they　be　speaking　of　any　strange　things　that　might　happen？　　That；　as　the　landlord　shrewdly　observed；　showed　there　was　something　out　of　the　common　way　he　had　heard　that　the　elderly　woman　was　a　cousin　of　the　farmer's　where　they　lodged；　and　so　the　regard　existing　between　relations　might　help　to　keep　them　quiet。

〃What　did　he　think；　then；　was　the　reason　for　their　extreme　seclusion？〃　asked　I。

〃Nay；　he　could　not　tell；not　he。　　He　had　heard　that　the　young　lady；　for　all　as　quiet　as　she　seemed；　played　strange　pranks　at　times。〃　　He　shook　his　head　when　I　asked　him　for　more　particulars；　and　refused　to　give　them；　which　made　me　doubt　if　he　knew　any；　for　he　was　in　general　a　talkative　and　communicative　man。　　In　default　of　other　interests；　after　my　uncle　left；　I　set　myself　to　watch　these　two　people。　　I　hovered　about　their　walks　drawn　towards　them　with　a　strange　fascination；　which　was　not　diminished　by　their　evident　annoyance　at　so　frequently　meeting　me。　　One　day；　I　had　the　sudden　good　fortune　to　be　at　hand　when　they　were　alarmed　by　the　attack　of　a　bull；　which；　in　those　unenclosed　grazing　districts；　was　a　particularly　dangerous　occurrence。　　I　have　other　and　more　important　things　to　relate；　than　to　tell　of　the　accident　which　gave　me　an　opportunity　of　rescuing　them；　it　is　enough　to　say；　that　this　event　was　the　beginning　of　an　acquaintance；　reluctantly　acquiesced　in　by　them；　but　eagerly　prosecuted　by　me。　　I　can　hardly　tell　when　intense　curiosity　became　merged　in　love；　but　in　less　than　ten　days　after　my　uncle's　departure　I　was　passionately　enamoured　of　Mistress　Lucy；　as　her　attendant　called　her；　carefullyfor　this　I　noted　wellavoiding　any　address　which　appeared　as　if　there　was　an　equality　of　station　between　them。　I　noticed　also　that　Mrs。　Clarke；　the　elderly　woman；　after　her　first　reluctance　to　allow　me　to　pay　them　any　attentions　had　been　overcome；　was　cheered　by　my　evident　attachment　to　the　young　girl；　it　seemed　to　lighten　her　heavy　burden　of　care；　and　she　evidently　favoured　my　visits　to　the　farmhouse　where　they　lodged。　　It　was　not　so　with　Lucy。　A　more　attractive　person　I　never　saw；　in　spite　of　her　depression　of　manner；　and　shrinking　avoidance　of　me。　　I　felt　sure　at　once；　that　whatever　was　the　source　of　her　grief；　it　rose　from　no　fault　of　her　own。　　It　was　difficult　to　draw　her　into　conversation；　but　when　at　times；　for　a　moment　or　two；　I　beguiled　her　into　talk；　I　could　see　a　rare　intelligence　in　her　face；　and　a　grave；　trusting　look　in　the　soft；　gray　eyes　that　were　raised　for　a　minute　to　mine。　　I　made　every　excuse　I　possibly　could　for　going　there。　　I　sought　wild　flowers　for　Lucy's　sake；　I　planned　walks　for　Lucy's　sake；　I　watched　the　heavens　by　night；　in　hopes　that　some　unusual　beauty　of　sky　would　justify　me　in　tempting　Mrs。　Clarke　and　Lucy　forth　upon　the　moors；　to　gaze　at　the　great　purple　dome　above。

It　seemed　to　me　that　Lucy　was　aware　of　my　love；　but　that；　for　some　motive　which　I　could　not　guess；　she　would　fain　have　repelled　me；　but　then　again　I　saw；　or　fancied　I　saw；　that　her　heart　spoke　in　my　favour；　and　that　there　was　a　struggle　going　on　in　her　mind；　which　at　times　（I　loved　so　dearly）　I　could　have　begged