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第17部分

beasts and superbeasts-第17部分

小说: beasts and superbeasts 字数: 每页4000字

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when you sat down on the seat。  I saw it on the ground 

after you left。  You must excuse my disbelief; but 

appearances were really rather against you; and now; as I 

appealed to the testimony of the soap I think I ought to 

abide by its verdict。  If the loan of a sovereign is any 

good to you … 〃



The young man hastily removed all doubt on the 

subject by pocketing the coin。



〃Here is my card with my address;〃 continued 

Gortsby; 〃any day this week will do for returning the 

money; and here is the soap … don't lose it again it's 

been a good friend to you。〃



〃Lucky thing your finding it;〃 said the youth; and 

then; with a catch in his voice; he blurted out a word or 

two of thanks and fled headlong in the direction of 

Knightsbridge。



〃Poor boy; he as nearly as possible broke down;〃 

said Gortsby to himself。  〃I don't wonder either; the 

relief from his quandary must have been acute。  It's a 

lesson to me not to be too clever in judging by 

circumstances。〃



As Gortsby retraced his steps past the seat where 

the little drama had taken place he saw an elderly 

gentleman poking and peering beneath it and on all sides 

of it; and recognised his earlier fellow occupant。



〃Have you lost anything; sir?〃 he asked。



〃Yes; sir; a cake of soap。〃





A TOUCH OF REALISM





〃I HOPE you've come full of suggestions for 

Christmas;〃 said Lady Blonze to her latest arrived guest; 

〃the old…fashioned Christmas and the up…to…date Christmas 

are both so played out。  I want to have something really 

original this year。〃



〃I was staying with the Mathesons last month;〃 said 

Blanche Boveal eagerly; 〃and we had such a good idea。  

Every one in the house…party had to be a character and 

behave consistently all the time; and at the end of the 

visit one had to guess what every one's character was。  

The one who was voted to have acted his or her character 

best got a prize。〃



〃It sounds amusing;〃 said Lady Blonze。



〃I was St。 Francis of Assisi;〃 continued Blanche; 

〃we hadn't got to keep to our right sexes。  I kept 

getting up in the middle of a meal; and throwing out food 

to the birds; you see; the chief thing that one remembers 

of St。 Francis is that he was fond of the birds。  Every 

one was so stupid about it; and thought that I was the 

old man who feeds the sparrows in the Tuileries Gardens。  

Then Colonel Pentley was the Jolly Miller on the banks of 

Dee。〃



〃How on earth did he do that?〃 asked Bertie van 

Tahn。



〃 'He laughed and sang from morn till night;' 〃 

explained Blanche。



〃How dreadful for the rest of you;〃 said Bertie; 

〃and anyway he wasn't on the banks of Dee。〃



〃One had to imagine that;〃 said Blanche。



〃If you could imagine all that you might as well 

imagine cattle on the further bank and keep on calling 

them home; Mary…fashion; across the sands of Dee。  Or you 

might change the river to the Yarrow and imagine it was 

on the top of you; and say you were Willie; or whoever it 

was; drowned in Yarrow。〃



〃Of course it's easy to make fun of it;〃 said 

Blanche sharply; 〃but it was extremely interesting and 

amusing。  The prize was rather a fiasco; though。  You 

see; Millie Matheson said her character was Lady 

Bountiful; and as she was our hostess of course we all 

had to vote that she had carried out her character better 

than anyone。  Otherwise I ought to have got the prize。〃



〃It's quite an idea for a Christmas party;〃 said 

Lady Blonze; 〃we must certainly do it here。〃



Sir Nicholas was not so enthusiastic。  〃Are you 

quite sure; my dear; that you're wise in doing this 

thing?〃 he said to his wife when they were alone 

together。  〃It might do very well at the Mathesons; where 

they had rather a staid; elderly house…party; but here it 

will be a different matter。  There is the Durmot flapper; 

for instance; who simply stops at nothing; and you know 

what Van Tahn is like。  Then there is Cyril Skatterly; he 

has madness on one side of his family and a Hungarian 

grandmother on the other。〃



〃I don't see what they could do that would matter;〃 

said Lady Blonze。



〃It's the unknown that is to be dreaded;〃 said Sir 

Nicholas。  〃If Skatterly took it into his head to 

represent a Bull of Bashan; well; I'd rather not be 

here。〃



〃Of course we shan't allow any Bible characters。  

Besides; I don't know what the Bulls of Bashan really did 

that was so very dreadful; they just came round and 

gaped; as far as I remember。〃



〃My dear; you don't know what Skatterly's Hungarian 

imagination mightn't read into the part; it would be 

small satisfaction to say to him afterwards: 'You've 

behaved as no Bull of Bashan would have behaved。' 〃



〃Oh; you're an alarmist;〃 said Lady Blonze; I 

particularly want to have this idea carried out。  It will 

be sure to be talked about a lot。〃



〃That is quite possible;〃 said Sir Nicholas。





* * * *





Dinner that evening was not a particularly lively 

affair; the strain of trying to impersonate a self…

imposed character or to glean hints of identity from 

other people's conduct acted as a check on the natural 

festivity of such a gathering。  There was a general 

feeling of gratitude and acquiescence when good…natured 

Rachel Klammerstein suggested that there should be an 

hour or two's respite from 〃the game〃 while they all 

listened to a little piano…playing after dinner。  

Rachel's love of piano music was not indiscriminate; and 

concentrated itself chiefly on selections rendered by her 

idolised offspring; Moritz and Augusta; who; to do them 

justice; played remarkably well。



The Klammersteins were deservedly popular as 

Christmas guests; they gave expensive gifts lavishly on 

Christmas Day and New Year; and Mrs。 Klammerstein had 

already dropped hints of her intention to present the 

prize for the best enacted character in the game 

competition。  Every one had brightened at this prospect; 

if it had fallen to Lady Blonze; as hostess; to provide 

the prize; she would have considered that a little 

souvenir of some twenty or twenty…five shillings' value 

would meet the case; whereas coming from a Klammerstein 

source it would certainly run to several guineas。



The close time for impersonation efforts came to an 

end with the final withdrawal of Moritz and Augusta from 

the piano。  Blanche Boveal retired early; leaving the 

room in a series of laboured leaps that she hoped might 

be recognised as a tolerable imitation of Pavlova。  Vera 

Durmot; the sixteen…year…old flapper; expressed her 

confident opinion that the performance was intended to 

typify Mark Twain's famous jumping frog; and her 

diagnosis of the case found general acceptance。  Another 

guest to set an example of early bed…going was Waldo 

Plubley; who conducted his life on a minutely regulated 

system of time…tables and hygienic routine。  Waldo was a 

plump; indolent young man of seven…and…twenty; whose 

mother had early in his life decided for him that he was 

unusually delicate; and by dint of much coddling and 

home…keeping had succeeded in making him physically soft 

and mentally peevish。  Nine hours' unbroken sleep; 

preceded by elaborate breathing exercises and other 

hygienic ritual; was among the indispensable regulations 

which Waldo imposed on himself; and there were 

innumerable small observances which he exacted from those 

who were in any way obliged to minister to his 

requirements; a special teapot for the decoction of his 

early tea was always solemnly handed over to the bedroom 

staff of any house in which he happened to be staying。  

No one had ever quite mastered the mechanism of this 

precious vessel; but Bertie van Tahn was responsible for 

the legend that its spout had to be kept facing north 

during the process of infusion。



On this particular night the irreducible nine hours 

were severely mutilated by the sudden and by no means 

noiseless incursion of a pyjama…clad figure into Waldo's 

room at an hour midway between midnight and dawn。



〃What is the matter?  What are you looking for?〃 

asked the awakened and astonished Waldo; slowly 

recognising Van Tahn; who appeared to be searching 

hastily for something he had lost。



〃Looking for sheep;〃 was the reply。



〃Sheep?〃 exclaimed Waldo。



〃Yes; sheep。  You don't suppose I'm looking for 

giraffes; do you?〃



〃I don't see why you should expect to find either in 

my room;〃 retorted Waldo furiously。



〃I can't argue the matter at this hour of the 

night;〃 said Bertie; and began hastily rummaging in the 

chest of drawers。  Shirts and underwear went flying on to 

the floor。



〃There are no sheep here; I tell you;〃 screamed 

Waldo。



〃I've only got your word for it;〃 said Bertie; 

whisking most of the bedclothes on to the floor; 〃if you 

weren't concealing something you wouldn't be so 

agitated。〃



Waldo was by this time convinced that Van Tahn was 

raving mad; and made an anxious; effort to humour him。



〃Go back to bed like a dear fellow;〃 he pleaded; 

〃and your sheep will turn up all right in the morning。〃



〃I daresay;〃 said Bertie gloomily; 〃without their 

tails。  Nice fool I shall look with a lot of Manx sheep。〃



And by way of emphasising his annoyance at the 

prospect he sent Waldo's pillows flying to the top of the 

wardrobe。



〃But WHY no tails?〃 asked Waldo; whose teeth were 

chattering with fear and rage and lowered temperature。



〃My dear boy; have you never heard the ballad of 

Little Bo…Peep?〃 said Bertie with a chuckle。  〃It's my 

character in the Game; you know。  If I didn't go hunting 

about for my lost sheep no one would be able to guess who 

I was; and now go to sleepy weeps like a good child or I 

shall be cross with you。〃



〃I leave you to imagine;〃 wrote Waldo in the course 

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