beasts and superbeasts-第21部分

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〃Dinner！〃　snorted　Catherine；　〃what　on　earth　is　the　

good　of　dinner　when　none　of　us　will　be　able　to　appear　at　

it？　　Look　at　your　hair　…　and　look　at　me！　or　rather；　

don't。〃



〃I　know　it's　difficult　to　manage　without　a　maid；　

can't　your　husband　be　any　help　to　you？〃　asked　Sophie　

despairingly。



〃Henry？　　He's　in　worse　case　than　any　of　us。　　His　man　

is　the　only　person　who　really　understands　that　ridiculous　

new…fangled　Turkish　bath　that　he　insists　on　taking　with　

him　everywhere。〃



〃Surely　he　could　do　without　a　Turkish　bath　for　one　

evening；〃　said　Sophie；　〃I　can't　appear　without　hair；　but　

a　Turkish　bath　is　a　luxury。〃



〃My　good　woman；〃　said　Catherine；　speaking　with　a　

fearful　intensity；　〃Henry　was　in　the　bath　when　the　strike　

started。　　In　it；　do　you　understand？　　He's　there　now。〃



〃Can't　he　get　out？〃



〃He　doesn't　know　how　to。　　Every　time　he　pulls　the　

lever　marked　'release'　he　only　releases　hot　steam。　　There　

are　two　kinds　of　steam　in　the　bath；　'bearable'　and　

'scarcely　bearable'；　he　has　released　them　both。　　By　this　

time　I'm　probably　a　widow。〃



〃I　simply　can't　send　away　Gaspare；〃　wailed　Sophie；　

〃I　should　never　be　able　to　secure　another　omelette　

specialist。〃



〃Any　difficulty　that　I　may　experience　in　securing　

another　husband　is　of　course　a　trifle　beneath　anyone's　

consideration；〃　said　Catherine　bitterly。



Sophie　capitulated。　　〃Go；〃　she　said　to　Richardson；　

〃and　tell　the　Strike　Committee；　or　whoever　are　directing　

this　affair；　that　Gaspare　is　herewith　dismissed。　　And　ask　

Gaspare　to　see　me　presently　in　the　library；　when　I　will　

pay　him　what　is　due　to　him　and　make　what　excuses　I　can；　

and　then　fly　back　and　finish　my　hair。〃



Some　half　an　hour　later　Sophie　marshalled　her　guests　

in　the　Grand　Salon　preparatory　to　the　formal　march　to　the　

dining…room。　　Except　that　Henry　Malsom　was　of　the　ripe　

raspberry　tint　that　one　sometimes　sees　at　private　

theatricals　representing　the　human　complexion；　there　was　

little　outward　sign　among　those　assembled　of　the　crisis　

that　had　just　been　encountered　and　surmounted。　　But　the　

tension　had　been　too　stupefying　while　it　lasted　not　to　

leave　some　mental　effects　behind　it。　　Sophie　talked　at　

random　to　her　illustrious　guest；　and　found　her　eyes　

straying　with　increasing　frequency　towards　the　great　

doors　through　which　would　presently　come　the　blessed　

announcement　that　dinner　was　served。　　Now　and　again　she　

glanced　mirror…ward　at　the　reflection　of　her　wonderfully　

coiffed　hair；　as　an　insurance　underwriter　might　gaze　

thankfully　at　an　overdue　vessel　that　had　ridden　safely　

into　harbour　in　the　wake　of　a　devastating　hurricane。　　

Then　the　doors　opened　and　the　welcome　figure　of　the　

butler　entered　the　room。　　But　he　made　no　general　

announcement　of　a　banquet　in　readiness；　and　the　doors　

closed　behind　him；　his　message　was　for　Sophie　alone。



〃There　is　no　dinner；　madame；〃　he　said　gravely；　〃the　

kitchen　staff　have　'downed　tools。'　　Gaspare　belongs　to　

the　Union　of　Cooks　and　Kitchen　Employees；　and　as　soon　as　

they　heard　of　his　summary　dismissal　at　a　moment's　notice　

they　struck　work。　　They　demand　his　instant　reinstatement　

and　an　apology　to　the　union。　　I　may　add；　madame；　that　

they　are　very　firm；　I've　been　obliged　even　to　hand　back　

the　dinner　rolls　that　were　already　on　the　table。〃



After　the　lapse　of　eighteen　months　Sophie　Chattel…

Monkheim　is　beginning　to　go　about　again　among　her　old　

haunts　and　associates；　but　she　still　has　to　be　very　

careful。　　The　doctors　will　not　let　her　attend　anything　at　

all　exciting；　such　as　a　drawing…room　meeting　or　a　Fabian　

conference；　it　is　doubtful；　indeed；　whether　she　wants　to。





THE　FEAST　OF　NEMESIS





〃IT'S　a　good　thing　that　Saint　Valentine's　Day　has　

dropped　out　of　vogue；〃　said　Mrs。　Thackenbury；　〃what　with　

Christmas　and　New　Year　and　Easter；　not　to　speak　of　

birthdays；　there　are　quite　enough　remembrance　days　as　it　

is。　　I　tried　to　save　myself　trouble　at　Christmas　by　just　

sending　flowers　to　all　my　friends；　but　it　wouldn't　work；　

Gertrude　has　eleven　hot…houses　and　about　thirty　

gardeners；　so　it　would　have　been　ridiculous　to　send　

flowers　to　her；　and　Milly　has　just　started　a　florist's　

shop；　so　it　was　equally　out　of　the　question　there。　　The　

stress　of　having　to　decide　in　a　hurry　what　to　give　to　

Gertrude　and　Milly　just　when　I　thought　I'd　got　the　whole　

question　nicely　off　my　mind　completely　ruined　my　

Christmas；　and　then　the　awful　monotony　of　the　letters　of　

thanks：　'Thank　you　so　much　for　your　lovely　flowers。　　It　

was　so　good　of　you　to　think　of　me。'　　Of　course　in　the　

majority　of　cases　I　hadn't　thought　about　the　recipients　

at　all；　their　names　were　down　in　my　list　of　'people　who　

must　not　be　left　out。'　　If　I　trusted　to　remembering　them　

there　would　be　some　awful　sins　of　omission。〃



〃The　trouble　is；〃　said　Clovis　to　his　aunt；　〃all　

these　days　of　intrusive　remembrance　harp　so　persistently　

on　one　aspect　of　human　nature　and　entirely　ignore　the　

other；　that　is　why　they　become　so　perfunctory　and　

artificial。　　At　Christmas　and　New　Year　you　are　emboldened　

and　encouraged　by　convention　to　send　gushing　messages　of　

optimistic　goodwill　and　servile　affection　to　people　whom　

you　would　scarcely　ask　to　lunch　unless　some　one　else　had　

failed　you　at　the　last　moment；　if　you　are　supping　at　a　

restaurant　on　New　Year's　Eve　you　are　permitted　and　

expected　to　join　hands　and　sing　'For　Auld　Lang　Syne'　with　

strangers　whom　you　have　never　seen　before　and　never　want　

to　see　again。　　But　no　licence　is　allowed　in　the　opposite　

direction。〃



〃Opposite　direction；　what　opposite　direction？〃　　

queried　Mrs。　Thackenbury。



〃There　is　no　outlet　for　demonstrating　your　feelings　

towards　people　whom　you　simply　loathe。　　That　is　really　

the　crying　need　of　our　modern　civilisation。　　Just　think　

how　jolly　it　would　be　if　a　recognised　day　were　set　apart　

for　the　paying　off　of　old　scores　and　grudges；　a　day　when　

one　could　lay　oneself　out　to　be　gracefully　vindictive　to　

a　carefully　treasured　list　of　'people　who　must　not　be　let　

off。'　　I　remember　when　I　was　at　a　private　school　we　had　

one　day；　the　last　Monday　of　the　term　I　think　it　was；　

consecrated　to　the　settlement　of　feuds　and　grudges；　of　

course　we　did　not　appreciate　it　as　much　as　it　deserved；　

because；　after　all；　any　day　of　the　term　could　be　used　for　

that　purpose。　　Still；　if　one　had　chastised　a　smaller　boy　

for　being　cheeky　weeks　before；　one　was　always　permitted　

on　that　day　to　recall　the　episode　to　his　memory　by　

chastising　him　again。　　That　is　what　the　French　call　

reconstructing　the　crime。〃



〃I　should　call　it　reconstructing　the　punishment；〃　

said　Mrs。　Thackenbury；　〃and；　anyhow；　I　don't　see　how　you　

could　introduce　a　system　of　primitive　schoolboy　vengeance　

into　civilised　adult　life。　　We　haven't　outgrown　our　

passions；　but　we　are　supposed　to　have　learned　how　to　keep　

them　within　strictly　decorous　limits。〃



〃Of　course　the　thing　would　have　to　be　done　furtively　

and　politely；〃　said　Clovis；　〃the　charm　of　it　would　be　

that　it　would　never　be　perfunctory　like　the　other　thing。　　

Now；　for　instance；　you　say　to　yourself：　'I　must　show　the　

Webleys　some　attention　at　Christmas；　they　were　kind　to　

dear　Bertie　at　Bournemouth；'　and　you　send　them　a　

calendar；　and　daily　for　six　days　after　Christmas　the　male　

Webley　asks　the　female　Webley　if　she　has　remembered　to　

thank　you　for　the　calendar　you　sent　them。　　Well；　

transplant　that　idea　to　the　other　and　more　human　side　of　

your　nature；　and　say　to　yourself：　'Next　Thursday　is　

Nemesis　Day；　what　on　earth　can　I　do　to　those　odious　

people　next　door　who　made　such　an　absurd　fuss　when　Ping　

Yang　bit　their　youngest　child？'　　Then　you'd　get　up　

awfully　early　on　the　allotted　day　and　climb　over　into　

their　garden　and　dig　for　truffles　on　their　tennis　court　

with　a　good　gardening　fork；　choosing；　of　course；　that　

part　of　the　court　that　was　screened　from　observation　by　

the　laurel　bushes。　　You　wouldn't　find　any　truffles　but　

you　would　find　a　great　peace；　such　as　no　amount　of　

present…giving　could　ever　bestow。〃



〃I　shouldn't；〃　said　Mrs。　Thackenbury；　though　her　air　

of　protest　sounded　a　bit　forced；　〃I　should　feel　rather　a　

worm　for　doing　such　a　thing。〃



〃You　exaggerate　the　power　of　upheaval　which　a　worm　

would　be　able　to　bring　into　play　in　the　limited　time　

available；〃　said　Clovis；　〃if　you　put　in　a　strenuous　ten　

minutes　with　a　really　useful　fork；　the　result　ought　to　

suggest　the　operations　of　an　unusually　masterful　mole　or　

a　badger　in　a　hurry。〃



〃They　might　guess　I　had　done　it；〃　said　Mrs。　

Thackenbury。



〃Of　course　they　would；〃　said　Clovis；　〃that　would　be　

half　the　satisfaction　of　the　thing；　just　as　you　like　

people　at　Christmas　to　know　what　presents　or　cards　you've　

sent　them。　　The　thing　would　be　much　easier　to　manage；　of　

course；　when　you　were　on　outwardly　friendly　terms　with　

the　object　of　your　dislike。　　That　greedy　little　Agnes　

Blaik；　for　instance；　who　thinks　of　nothing　but　her　food；　

it　would　be　quite　simple　to　ask　her　to　a　picnic　in　some　

wild　woodland　spot　and　lose　her　just　before　lunch　was　

served；　when　you　found　her　again　every　morsel　of　food　

could　have　been　eaten　up。〃



〃It　would　require　no　ordinary　human　strategy　to　lose　

Agnes　Blaik　when　luncheon　was　imminent：　in　fact；　I　don't　

believe　it　could　be　done。〃



〃Then　have　all　the　other　guests；　people　whom　you　

dislike；　and　lose　the　luncheon。　　It　could　have　been　sent　

by　accident　in　the　wrong　direction。〃



〃It　would　be　a　ghastly　picnic；〃　said　Mrs。　

Thackenbury。



〃For　them；　but　not　for　you；〃　said　Clovis；　〃you　would　

have　had　an　early　and　comforting　lunch　before　you　

started；　and　you　could　improve　the　occasion　by　mentioning　

in　detail　the　items　of　the　missing　banquet　…　the　lobster　

Newburg　and　the　egg　mayonnaise；　and　the　curry　that　was　to　

have　been　heated　in　a　chafing…dish。　　Agnes　Blaik　would　be　

d