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beasts and superbeasts-第4部分

小说: beasts and superbeasts 字数: 每页4000字

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much raspberry trifle at lunch; and they said Claude 

never eats too much raspberry trifle。  Well; Claude 

always goes to sleep for half an hour after lunch; 

because he's told to; and I waited till he was asleep; 

and tied his hands and started forcible feeding with a 

whole bucketful of raspberry trifle that they were 

keeping for the garden…party。  Lots of it went on to his 

sailor…suit and some of it on to the bed; but a good deal 

went down Claude's throat; and they can't say again that 

he has never been known to eat too much raspberry trifle。  

That is why I am not allowed to go to the party; and as 

an additional punishment I must speak French all the 

afternoon。  I've had to tell you all this in English; as 

there were words like ‘forcible feeding' that I didn't 

know the French for; of course I could have invented 

them; but if I had said NOURRITURE OBLIGATOIRE you 

wouldn't have had the least idea what I was talking 

about。  MAIS MAINTENANT; NOUS PARLONS FRANCAIS。〃



〃Oh; very well; TRES BIEN;〃 said Mrs。 Stossen 

reluctantly; in moments of flurry such French as she knew 

was not under very good control。  〃LA; A L'AUTRE COTE DE 

LA PORTE; EST UN COCHON … 〃



〃UN COCHON? AH; LE PETIT CHARMANT!〃 exclaimed 

Matilda with enthusiasm。



〃MAIS NON; PAS DU TOUT PETIT; ET PAS DU TOUT 

CHARMANT; UN BETE FEROCE … 〃



〃UNE BETE;〃 corrected Matilda; 〃a pig is masculine 

as long as you call it a pig; but if you lose your temper 

with it and call it a ferocious beast it becomes one of 

us at once。  French is a dreadfully unsexing language。〃



〃For goodness' sake let us talk English then;〃 said 

Mrs。 Stossen。  〃Is there any way out of this garden 

except through the paddock where the pig is?〃



〃I always go over the wall; by way of the plum 

tree;〃 said Matilda。



〃Dressed as we are we could hardly do that;〃 said 

Mrs。 Stossen; it was difficult to imagine her doing it in 

any costume。



〃Do you think you could go and get some one who 

would drive the pig away?〃 asked Miss Stossen。



〃I promised my aunt I would stay here till five 

o'clock; it's not four yet。〃



〃I am sure; under the circumstances; your aunt would 

permit … 〃



〃My conscience would not permit;〃 said Matilda with 

cold dignity。



〃We can't stay here till five o'clock;〃 exclaimed 

Mrs。 Stossen with growing exasperation。



〃Shall I recite to you to make the time pass 

quicker?〃 asked Matilda obligingly。  〃 ‘Belinda; the 

little Breadwinner;' is considered my best piece; or; 

perhaps; it ought to be something in French。  Henri 

Quatre's address to his soldiers is the only thing I 

really know in that language。〃



〃If you will go and fetch some one to drive that 

animal away I will give you something to buy yourself a 

nice present;〃 said Mrs。 Stossen。



Matilda came several inches lower down the medlar 

tree。



〃That is the most practical suggestion you have made 

yet for getting out of the garden;〃 she remarked 

cheerfully; 〃Claude and I are collecting money for the 

Children's Fresh Air Fund; and we are seeing which of us 

can collect the biggest sum。〃



〃I shall be very glad to contribute half a crown; 

very glad indeed;〃 said Mrs。 Stossen; digging that coin 

out of the depths of a receptacle which formed a detached 

outwork of her toilet。



〃Claude is a long way ahead of me at present;〃 

continued Matilda; taking no notice of the suggested 

offering; 〃you see; he's only eleven; and has golden 

hair; and those are enormous advantages when you're on 

the collecting job。  Only the other day a Russian lady 

gave him ten shillings。  Russians understand the art of 

giving far better than we do。  I expect Claude will net 

quite twenty…five shillings this afternoon; he'll have 

the field to himself; and he'll be able to do the pale; 

fragile; not…long…for…this…world business to perfection 

after his raspberry trifle experience。  Yes; he'll be 

QUITE two pounds ahead of me by now。〃



With much probing and plucking and many regretful 

murmurs the beleaguered ladies managed to produce seven…

and…sixpence between them。



〃I am afraid this is all we've got;〃 said Mrs。 

Stossen。



Matilda showed no sign of coming down either to the 

earth or to their figure。



〃I could not do violence to my conscience for 

anything less than ten shillings;〃 she announced stiffly。



Mother and daughter muttered certain remarks under 

their breath; in which the word 〃beast〃 was prominent; 

and probably had no reference to Tarquin。



〃I find I HAVE got another half…crown;〃 said Mrs。 

Stossen in a shaking voice; 〃here you are。  Now please 

fetch some one quickly。〃



Matilda slipped down from the tree; took possession 

of the donation; and proceeded to pick up a handful of 

over…ripe medlars from the grass at her feet。  Then she 

climbed over the gate and addressed herself 

affectionately to the boar…pig。



〃Come; Tarquin; dear old boy; you know you can't 

resist medlars when they're rotten and squashy。〃



Tarquin couldn't。  By dint of throwing the fruit in 

front of him at judicious intervals Matilda decoyed him 

back to his stye; while the delivered captives hurried 

across the paddock。



〃Well; I never!  The little minx!〃 exclaimed Mrs。 

Stossen when she was safely on the high road。  〃The 

animal wasn't savage at all; and as for the ten 

shillings; I don't believe the Fresh Air Fund will see a 

penny of it!〃



There she was unwarrantably harsh in her judgment。  

If you examine the books of the fund you will find the 

acknowledgment: 〃Collected by Miss Matilda Cuvering; 2s。 

6d。〃





THE BROGUE





THE hunting season had come to an end; and the 

Mullets had not succeeded in selling the Brogue。  There 

had been a kind of tradition in the family for the past 

three or four years; a sort of fatalistic hope; that the 

Brogue would find a purchaser before the hunting was 

over; but seasons came and went without anything 

happening to justify such ill…founded optimism。  The 

animal had been named Berserker in the earlier stages of 

its career; it had been rechristened the Brogue later on; 

in recognition of the fact that; once acquired; it was 

extremely difficult to get rid of。  The unkinder wits of 

the neighbourhood had been known to suggest that the 

first letter of its name was superfluous。  The Brogue had 

been variously described in sale catalogues as a light…

weight hunter; a lady's hack; and; more simply; but still 

with a touch of imagination; as a useful brown gelding; 

standing 15。1。  Toby Mullet had ridden him for four 

seasons with the West Wessex; you can ride almost any 

sort of horse with the West Wessex as long as it is an 

animal that knows the country。  The Brogue knew the 

country intimately; having personally created most of the 

gaps that were to be met with in banks and hedges for 

many miles round。  His manners and characteristics were 

not ideal in the hunting field; but he was probably 

rather safer to ride to hounds than he was as a hack on 

country roads。  According to the Mullet family; he was 

not really road…shy; but there were one or two objects of 

dislike that brought on sudden attacks of what Toby 

called the swerving sickness。  Motors and cycles he 

treated with tolerant disregard; but pigs; wheelbarrows; 

piles of stones by the roadside; perambulators in a 

village street; gates painted too aggressively white; and 

sometimes; but not always; the newer kind of beehives; 

turned him aside from his tracks in vivid imitation of 

the zigzag course of forked lightning。  If a pheasant 

rose noisily from the other side of a hedgerow the Brogue 

would spring into the air at the same moment; but this 

may have been due to a desire to be companionable。  The 

Mullet family contradicted the widely prevalent report 

that the horse was a confirmed crib…biter。



It was about the third week in May that Mrs。 Mullet; 

relict of the late Sylvester Mullet; and mother of Toby 

and a bunch of daughters; assailed Clovis Sangrail on the 

outskirts of the village with a breathless catalogue of 

local happenings。



〃You know our new neighbour; Mr。 Penricarde?〃 she 

vociferated; 〃awfully rich; owns tin mines in Cornwall; 

middle…aged and rather quiet。  He's taken the Red House 

on a long lease and spent a lot of money on alterations 

and improvements。  Well; Toby's sold him the Brogue!〃



Clovis spent a moment or two in assimilating the 

astonishing news; then he broke out into unstinted 

congratulation。  If he had belonged to a more emotional 

race he would probably have kissed Mrs。 Mullet。



〃How wonderfully lucky to have pulled it off at 

last!  Now you can buy a decent animal。  I've always said 

that Toby was clever。  Ever so many congratulations。〃



〃Don't congratulate me。  It's the most unfortunate 

thing that could have happened!〃 said Mrs。 Mullet 

dramatically。



Clovis stared at her in amazement。



〃Mr。 Penricarde;〃 said Mrs。 Mullet; sinking her 

voice to what she imagined to be an impressive whisper; 

though it rather resembled a hoarse; excited squeak; 〃Mr。 

Penricarde has just begun to pay attentions to Jessie。  

Slight at first; but now unmistakable。  I was a fool not 

to have seen it sooner。  Yesterday; at the Rectory garden 

party; he asked her what her favourite flowers were; and 

she told him carnations; and to…day a whole stack of 

carnations has arrived; clove and malmaison and lovely 

dark red ones; regular exhibition blooms; and a box of 

chocolates that he must have got on purpose from London。  

And he's asked her to go round the links with him to…

morrow。  And now; just at this critical moment; Toby has 

sold him that animal。  It's a calamity!〃



〃But you've been trying to get the horse off your 

hands for years;〃 said Clovis。



〃I've go

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