the country doctor-第23部分

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〃He　has　not　forgotten　to　send　the　thousand　tiles　to　the　Grange…aux…　Belles　for　me？〃

〃You　know　quite　well；　sir；　that　he　would　keep　all　the　orders　in　the　canton　waiting　to　serve　you。　Why；　taking　your　money　is　the　thing　that　troubles　him　most；　but　I　always　tell　him　that　your　crowns　bring　luck　with　them；　and　so　they　do。〃

〃Good…bye；〃　said　Benassis。

A　little　group　gathered　about　the　bars　across　the　entrance　to　the　tile…works。　The　three　women；　the　young　wagoner；　and　two　workmen　who　had　left　off　work　to　greet　the　doctor；　lingered　there　to　have　the　pleasure　of　being　with　him　until　the　last　moment；　as　we　are　wont　to　linger　with　those　we　love。　The　promptings　of　men's　hearts　must　everywhere　be　the　same；　and　in　every　land　friendship　expresses　itself　in　the　same　gracious　ways。

Benassis　looked　at　the　height　of　the　sun　and　spoke　to　his　companion：

〃There　are　still　two　hours　of　daylight　left；　and　if　you　are　not　too　hungry；　we　will　go　to　see　some　one　with　whom　I　nearly　always　spend　the　interval　between　the　last　of　my　visits　and　the　hour　for　dinner。　She　is　a　charming　girl　whom　every　one　here　calls　my　'good　friend。'　That　is　the　name　that　they　usually　give　to　an　affianced　bride；　but　you　must　not　imagine　that　there　is　the　slightest　imputation　of　any　kind　implied　or　intended　by　the　use　of　the　word　in　this　case。　Poor　child；　the　care　that　I　have　taken　of　her　has；　as　may　be　imagined；　made　her　an　object　of　jealousy；　but　the　general　opinion　entertained　as　to　my　character　has　prevented　any　spiteful　gossip。　If　no　one　understands　the　apparent　caprice　that　has　led　me　to　make　an　allowance　to　La　Fosseuse；　so　that　she　can　live　without　being　compelled　to　work；　nobody　has　any　doubts　as　to　her　character。　I　have　watched　over　her　with　friendly　care；　and　every　one　knows　that　I　should　never　hesitate　to　marry　her　if　my　affection　for　her　exceeded　the　limits　of　friendship。　But　no　woman　exists　for　me　here　in　the　canton　or　anywhere　else；〃　said　the　doctor；　forcing　a　smile。　〃Some　natures　feel　a　tyrannous　need　to　attach　themselves　to　some　one　thing　or　being　which　they　single　out　from　among　the　beings　and　things　around　them；　this　need　is　felt　most　keenly　by　a　man　of　quick　sympathies；　and　all　the　more　pressingly　if　his　life　has　been　made　desolate。　So；　trust　me；　it　is　a　favorable　sign　if　a　man　is　strongly　attached　to　his　dog　or　his　horse！　Among　the　suffering　flock　which　chance　has　given　into　my　care；　this　poor　little　sufferer　has　come　to　be　for　me　like　the　pet　lamb　that　the　shepherd　lasses　deck　with　ribbons　in　my　own　sunny　land　of　Languedoc；　they　talk　to　it　and　allow　it　to　find　pasture　by　the　side　of　the　cornfields；　and　its　leisurely　pace　is　never　hurried　by　the　shepherd's　dog。〃

Benassis　stood　with　his　hand　on　his　horse's　mane　as　he　spoke；　ready　to　spring　into　the　saddle；　but　making　no　effort　to　do　so；　as　though　the　thoughts　that　stirred　in　him　were　but　little　in　keeping　with　rapid　movements。

〃Let　us　go；〃　he　said　at　last；　〃come　with　me　and　pay　her　a　visit。　I　am　taking　you　to　see　her；　does　not　that　tell　you　that　I　treat　her　as　a　sister？〃

As　they　rode　on　their　way　again；　Genestas　said　to　the　doctor；　〃Will　you　regard　it　as　inquisitiveness　on　my　part　if　I　ask　to　hear　more　of　La　Fosseuse？　I　have　come　to　know　the　story　of　many　lives　through　you；　and　hers　cannot　be　less　interesting　than　some　of　these。〃

Benassis　stopped　his　horse　as　he　answered。　〃Perhaps　you　will　not　share　in　the　feelings　of　interest　awakened　in　me　by　La　Fosseuse。　Her　fate　is　like　my　own；　we　have　both　alike　missed　our　vocation；　it　is　the　similarity　of　our　lots　that　occasions　my　sympathy　for　her　and　the　feelings　that　I　experience　at　the　sight　of　her。　You　either　followed　your　natural　bent　when　you　entered　upon　a　military　career；　or　you　took　a　liking　for　your　calling　after　you　had　adopted　it；　otherwise　you　would　not　have　borne　the　heavy　yoke　of　military　discipline　till　now；　you；　therefore；　cannot　understand　the　sorrows　of　a　soul　that　must　always　feel　renewed　within　it　the　stir　of　longings　that　can　never　be　realized；　nor　the　pining　existence　of　a　creature　forced　to　live　in　an　alien　sphere。　Such　sufferings　as　these　are　known　only　to　these　natures　and　to　God　who　sends　their　afflictions；　for　they　alone　can　know　how　deeply　the　events　of　life　affect　them。　You　yourself　have　seen　the　miseries　produced　by　long　wars；　till　they　have　almost　ceased　to　impress　you；　but　have　you　never　detected　a　trace　of　sadness　in　your　mind　at　the　sight　of　a　tree　bearing　sere　leaves　in　the　midst　of　spring；　some　tree　that　is　pining　and　dying　because　it　has　been　planted　in　soil　in　which　it　could　not　find　the　sustenance　required　for　its　full　development？　Ever　since　my　twentieth　year；　there　has　been　something　painful　and　melancholy　for　me　about　the　drooping　of　a　stunted　plant；　and　now　I　cannot　bear　the　sight　and　turn　my　head　away。　My　youthful　sorrow　was　a　vague　presentiment　of　the　sorrows　of　my　later　life；　it　was　a　kind　of　sympathy　between　my　present　and　a　future　dimly　foreshadowed　by　the　life　of　the　tree　that　before　its　time　was　going　the　way　of　all　trees　and　men。〃

〃I　thought　that　you　had　suffered　when　I　saw　how　kind　you　were。〃

〃You　see；　sir；〃　the　doctor　went　on　without　any　reply　to　the　remark　made　by　Genestas；　〃that　to　speak　of　La　Fosseuse　is　to　speak　of　myself。　La　Fosseuse　is　a　plant　in　an　alien　soil；　a　human　plant　moreover；　consumed　by　sad　thoughts　that　have　their　source　in　the　depths　of　her　nature；　and　that　never　cease　to　multiply。　The　poor　girl　is　never　well　and　strong。　The　soul　within　her　kills　the　body。　This　fragile　creature　was　suffering　from　the　sorest　of　all　troubles；　a　trouble　which　receives　the　least　possible　sympathy　from　our　selfish　world；　and　how　could　I　look　on　with　indifferent　eyes？　for　I；　a　man；　strong　to　wrestle　with　pain；　was　nightly　tempted　to　refuse　to　bear　the　burden　of　a　sorrow　like　hers。　Perhaps　I　might　actually　have　refused　to　bear　it　but　for　a　thought　of　religion　which　soothes　my　impatience　and　fills　my　heart　with　sweet　illusions。　Even　if　we　were　not　children　of　the　same　Father　in　heaven；　La　Fosseuse　would　still　be　my　sister　in　suffering！〃

Benassis　pressed　his　knees　against　his　horse's　sides；　and　swept　ahead　of　Commandant　Genestas；　as　if　he　shrank　from　continuing　this　conversation　any　further。　When　their　horses　were　once　more　cantering　abreast　of　each　other；　he　spoke　again：　〃Nature　has　created　this　poor　girl　for　sorrow；〃　he　said；　〃as　she　has　created　other　women　for　joy。　It　is　impossible　to　do　otherwise　than　believe　in　a　future　life　at　the　sight　of　natures　thus　predestined　to　suffer。　La　Fosseuse　is　sensitive　and　highly　strung。　If　the　weather　is　dark　and　cloudy；　she　is　depressed；　she　'weeps　when　the　sky　is　weeping；'　a　phrase　of　her　own；　she　sings　with　the　birds；　she　grows　happy　and　serene　under　a　cloudless　sky；　the　loveliness　of　a　bright　day　passes　into　her　face；　a　soft　sweet　perfume　is　an　inexhaustible　pleasure　to　her；　I　have　seen　her　take　delight　the　whole　day　long　in　the　scent　breathed　forth　by　some　mignonette；　and；　after　one　of　those　rainy　mornings　that　bring　out　all　the　soul　of　the　flowers　and　give　indescribable　freshness　and　brightness　to　the　day；　she　seems　to　overflow　with　gladness　like　the　green　world　around　her。　If　it　is　close　and　hot；　and　there　is　thunder　in　the　air；　La　Fosseuse　feels　a　vague　trouble　that　nothing　can　soothe。　She　lies　on　her　bed；　complains　of　numberless　different　ills；　and　does　not　know　what　ails　her。　In　answer　to　my　questions；　she　tells　me　that　her　bones　are　melting；　that　she　is　dissolving　into　water；　her　'heart　has　left　her；'　to　quote　another　of　her　sayings。

〃I　have　sometimes　come　upon　the　poor　child　suddenly　and　found　her　in　tears；　as　she　gazed　at　the　sunset　effects　we　sometimes　see　here　among　our　mountains；　when　bright　masses　of　cloud　gather　and　crowd　together　and　pile　themselves　above　the　golden　peaks　of　the　hills。　'Why　are　you　crying；　little　one？'　I　have　asked　her。　'I　do　not　know；　sir；'　has　been　the　answer；　'I　have　grown　so　stupid　with　looking　up　there；　I　have　looked　and　looked；　till　I　hardly　know　where　I　am。'　'But　what　do　you　see　there？'　'I　cannot　tell　you；　sir；'　and　you　might　question　her　in　this　way　all　the　evening；　yet　you　would　never　draw　a　word　from　her；　but　she　would　look　at　you；　and　every　glance　would　seem　full　of　thoughts；　or　she　would　sit　with　tears　in　her　eyes；　scarcely　saying　a　word；　apparently　rapt　in　musing。　Those　musings　of　hers　are　so　profound　that　you　fall　under　the　spell　of　them；　on　me；　at　least；　she　has　the　effect　of　a　cloud　overcharged　with　electricity。　One　day　I　plied　her　with　questions；　I　tried　with　all　my　might　to　make　her　talk；　at　last　I　let　fall　a　few　rather　hasty　words；　and；　wellshe　burst　into　tears。

〃At　other　times　La　Fosseuse　is　bright　and　winning；　active；　merry；　and　sprightly；　she　enjoys　talking；　and　the　ideas　which　she　expresses　are　fresh　and　original。　She　is　however　quite　unable　to　apply　herself　steadily　to　any　kind　of　work。　When　she　was　out　in　the　fields　she　used　to　spend　whole　hours　in　looking　at　a　flower；　in　watching　the　water　flow；　in　gazing　at　the　wonders　in　the　depths　of　the　clear；　still　river　pools；　at　the　picturesque　mosaic　made　up　of　pebbles　and　earth　and　sand；　of　water　plants　and　green　moss；　and　the　brown　soil　washed　down　by　the　stream；　a　deposit　full　of　soft　shades　of　color；　and　of　hues　that　contrast　strangely　with　each　other。

〃When　I　first　came　to　the　district　the　poor　girl　was　starving。　It　hurt　her　pride　to　accept　the　bread　of　others；　and　it　was　only　when　driven　to　the　last　extremity　of　want　and　suffering　that　she　could　bring　herself　to　ask　for　charity。　The　feeling　that　this　was　a　disgrace　would　often　give　her　energy；　and　for　several　days　she　worked　in　the　fields；　but　her　strength　was　soon　exhausted；　and　illness　obliged　her　to　leave　the　work　that　she　had　begun。　She　had　scarcely　recovered　when　she　went　to　a　farm　on　the　outskirts　of　the　town　and　asked　to　be　taken　on　to　look　after　the　cattle；　she　did　her　work　well　and　intelligently；　but　after　a　while　she　left　without　giving　any　reason　for　so　doing。　The　constant　toil；　day　after　day；　was　no　doubt　too　heavy　a　yoke　for　one　who　is　all　independence　and　caprice。　Then　she　set　herself　to　look　for　mushrooms　or　for　truffles；　going　over　to　Grenoble　to　sell　them。　But　the　gaudy　trifles　in　the　town　were　very　tempting；　the　few　small　coins　in　her　hand　seemed　to　be　great　riches；　she　would　forget　he