under western eyes-第7部分

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understands　nothing　either　of　men　or　things。　　Why　should　I　leave

a　false　memory？〃



It　passed　through　his　mind　that　there　was　no　one　in　the　world　who

cared　what　sort　of　memory　he　left　behind　him。　　He　exclaimed　to

himself　instantly；　〃Perish　vainly　for　a　falsehood！　。　。　。　What　a

miserable　fate！〃



He　was　now　in　a　more　animated　part　of　the　town。　　He　did　not

remark　the　crash　of　two　colliding　sledges　close　to　the　curb。

The　driver　of　one　bellowed　tearfully　at　his　fellow

〃Oh；　thou　vile　wretch！〃



This　hoarse　yell；　let　out　nearly　in　his　ear；　disturbed　Razumov。

He　shook　his　head　impatiently　and　went　on　looking　straight　before

him。　　Suddenly　on　the　snow；　stretched　on　his　back　right　across

his　path；　he　saw　Haldin；　solid；　distinct；　real；　with　his　inverted

hands　over　his　eyes；　clad　in　a　brown　close…fitting　coat　and　long

boots。　　He　was　lying　out　of　the　way　a　little；　as　though　he　had

selected　that　place　on　purpose。　　The　snow　round　him　was　untrodden。



This　hallucination　had　such　a　solidity　of　aspect　that　the　first

movement　of　Razumov　was　to　reach　for　his　pocket　to　assure　himself

that　the　key　of　his　rooms　was　there。　　But　he　checked　the　impulse

with　a　disdainful　curve　of　his　lips。　　He　understood。　　His

thought；　concentrated　intensely　on　the　figure　left　lying　on　his

bed；　had　culminated　in　this　extraordinary　illusion　of　the　sight。

Razumov　tackled　the　phenomenon　calmly。　　With　a　stern　face；

without　a　check　and　gazing　far　beyond　the　vision；　he　walked　on；

experiencing　nothing　but　a　slight　tightening　of　the　chest。

After　passing　he　turned　his　head　for　a　glance；　and　saw　only　the

unbroken　track　of　his　footsteps　over　the　place　where　the　breast

of　the　phantom　had　been　lying。



Razumov　walked　on　and　after　a　little　time　whispered　his　wonder　to

himself。



〃Exactly　as　if　alive！　　Seemed　to　breathe！　　And　right　in　my　way　too！

I　have　had　an　extraordinary　experience。〃



He　made　a　few　steps　and　muttered　through　his　set　teeth



〃I　shall　give　him　up。〃



Then　for　some　twenty　yards　or　more　all　was　blank。　　He　wrapped　his

cloak　closer　round　him。　　He　pulled　his　cap　well　forward　over　his　eyes。



〃Betray。　　A　great　word。　　What　is　betrayal？　　They　talk　of　a　man

betraying　his　country；　his　friends；　his　sweetheart。　　There　must

be　a　moral　bond　first。　　All　a　man　can　betray　is　his　conscience。

And　how　is　my　conscience　engaged　here；　　by　what　bond　of　common

faith；　of　common　conviction；　am　I　　obliged　to　let　that　fanatical

idiot　drag　me　down　with　him？　　On　the　contraryevery　obligation

of　true　courage　is　the　other　way。〃



Razumov　looked　round　from　under　his　cap。



〃What　can　the　prejudice　of　the　world　reproach　me　with？　　Have　I

provoked　his　confidence？　　No！　　Have　I　by　a　single　word；　look；　or

gesture　given　him　reason　to　suppose　that　I　accepted　his　trust　in

me？　　No！　　It　is　true　that　I　consented　to　go　and　see　his

Ziemianitch。　　Well；　I　have　been　to　see　him。　　And　I　broke　a　stick

on　his　back　toothe　brute。〃



Something　seemed　to　turn　over　　in　　his　　head　bringing　uppermost　a

singularly　hard；　clear　facet　of　his　brain。



〃It　would　be　better；　however；〃　he　reflected　with　a　quite　different

mental　accent；　〃to　keep　that　circumstance　altogether　to　myself。〃



He　had　passed　beyond　the　turn　leading　to　his　lodgings；　and　had

reached　a　wide　and　fashionable　street。　　Some　shops　were　still

open；　and　all　the　restaurants。　　Lights　fell　on　the　pavement　where

men　in　expensive　fur　coats；　with　here　and　there　the　elegant

figure　of　a　woman；　walked　with　an　air　of　leisure。　　Razumov　looked

at　them　with　the　contempt　of　an　austere　believer　for　the

frivolous　crowd。　　It　was　the　worldthose　officers；　dignitaries；

men　of　fashion；　officials；　members　of　the　Yacht　Club。　　The　event

of　the　morning　affected　them　all。　　What　would　they　say　if　they

knew　what　this　student　in　a　cloak　was　going　to　do？



〃Not　one　of　them　is　capable　of　feeling　and　thinking　as　deeply　as

I　can。　　How　many　of　them　could　accomplish　an　act　of　conscience？〃



Razumov　lingered　in　the　well…lighted　street。　　He　was　firmly

decided。　　Indeed；　it　could　hardly　be　called　a　decision。　　He　had

simply　discovered　what　he　had　meant　to　do　all　along。　　And　yet　he

felt　the　need　of　some　other　mind's　sanction。



With　something　resembling　anguish　he　said　to　himself



〃I　want　to　be　understood。〃　　The　universal　aspiration　with　all　its

profound　and　melancholy　meaning　assailed　heavily　Razumov；　who；

amongst　eighty　millions　of　his　kith　and　kin；　had　no　heart　to

which　he　could　open　himself。



The　attorney　was　not　to　be　thought　of。　　He　despised　the　little

agent　of　chicane　too　much。　　One　could　not　go　and　lay　one's

conscience　before　the　policeman　at　the　corner。　　Neither　was

Razumov　anxious　to　go　to　the　chief　of　his　district's　policea

common…looking　person　whom　he　used　to　see　sometimes　in　the

street　in　a　shabby　uniform　and　with　a　smouldering　cigarette　stuck

to　his　lower　lip。　　〃He　would　begin　by　locking　me　up　most

probably。　　At　any　rate；　he　is　certain　to　get　excited　and　create

an　awful　commotion；〃　thought　Razumov　practically



An　act　of　conscience　must　be　done　with　outward　dignity。



Razumov　longed　desperately　for　a　word　of　advice；　for　moral

support。　　Who　knows　what　true　loneliness　is　not　the

conventional　word；　but　the　naked　terror？　　To　the　lonely

themselves　it　wears　a　mask。　　The　most　miserable　outcast　hugs　some

memory　or　some　illusion。　　Now　and　then　a　fatal　conjunction　of

events　may　lift　the　veil　for　an　instant。　　For　an　instant　only。

No　human　being　could　bear　a　steady　view　of　moral　solitude　without

going　mad。



Razumov　had　reached　that　point　of　vision。　　To　escape　from　it　he

embraced　for　a　whole　minute　the　delirious　purpose　of　rushing　to

his　lodgings　and　flinging　himself　on　his　knees　by　the　side　of　the

bed　with　the　dark　figure　stretched　on　it；　to　pour　out　a　full

confession　in　passionate　words　that　would　stir　the　whole　being　of

that　man　to　its　innermost　depths；　that　would　end　in　embraces　and

tears；　in　an　incredible　fellowship　of　souls　such　as　the　world

had　never　seen。　　It　was　sublime！



Inwardly　he　wept　and　trembled　already。　　But　to　the　casual　eyes

that　were　cast　upon　him　he　was　aware　that　he　appeared　as　a

tranquil　student　in　a　cloak；　out　for　a　leisurely　stroll。

He　noted；　too；　the　sidelong；　brilliant　glance　of　a　pretty

womanwith　a　delicate　head；　and　covered　in　the　hairy　skins

of　wild　beasts　down　to　her　feet；　like　a　frail　and　beautiful

savagewhich　rested　for　a　moment　with　a　sort　of　mocking　tenderness

on　the　deep　abstraction　of　that　good…looking　young　man。



Suddenly　Razumov　stood　still。　　The　glimpse　of　a　passing　grey

whisker；　caught　and　lost　in　the　same　instant；　had　evoked　the

complete　image　of　Prince　K…；　the　man　who　once　had　pressed　his

hand　as　no　other　man　had　pressed　ita　faint　but　lingering

pressure　like　a　secret　sign；　like　a　half…unwilling　caress。



And　Razumov　marvelled　at　himself。　　Why　did　he　not　think　of　him　before！



〃A　senator；　a　dignitary；　a　　great　personage；　the　very　manHe！〃



A　strange　softening　emotion　came　over　Razumovmade　his　knees

shake　a　little。　　He　repressed　it　with　a　new…born　austerity。　　All

that　sentiment　was　pernicious　nonsense。　　He　couldn't　be　quick

enough；　and　when　he　got　into　a　sledge　he　shouted　to　the　driver



〃TotheK…　Palace。　　Get　onyou！　Fly！〃　　The　startled　moujik；

bearded　up　to　the　very　whites　of　his　eyes；　answered　obsequiously



〃I　hear；　your　high　Nobility。〃



It　was　lucky　for　Razumov　that　Prince　K　…was　not　a　man　of　timid

character。　　On　the　day　of　Mr。　de　P…'s　murder　an　extreme　alarm

and　despondency　prevailed　in　the　high　official　spheres。

Prince　K…；　sitting　sadly　alone　in　his　study；　was　told　by　his

alarmed　servants　that　a　mysterious　young　man　had　forced　his　way

into　the　hall；　refused　to　tell　his　name　and　the　nature　of　his

business；　and　would　not　move　from　there　till　he　had　seen　his

Excellency　in　private。　　Instead　of　locking　himself　up　and

telephoning　for　the　police；　as　nine　out　of　ten　high　personages

would　have　done　that　evening；　the　Prince　gave　way　to　curiosity

and　came　quietly　to　the　door　of　his　study。



In　the　hall；　the　front　door　standing　wide　open；　he　recognised　at

once　Razumov；　pale　as　death；　his　eyes　blazing；　and　surrounded　by

perplexed　lackeys。



The　Prince　was　vexed　beyond　measure；　and　even　indignant。　　But

his　humane　instincts　and　a　subtle　sense　of　self…respect　could　not

allow　him　to　let　this　young　man　be　thrown　out　into　the　street　by

base　menials。　　He　retreated　unseen　into　his　room；　and　after　a

little　rang　his　bell。　　Razumov　heard　in　the　hall　an　ominously

raised　harsh　voice　saying　somewhere　far　away



〃Show　the　gentleman　in　here。〃



Razumov　walked　in　without　a　tremor。　　He　felt　himself

invulnerableraised　far　above　the　shallowness　of　common

judgment。　　Though　he　saw　the　Prince　looking　at　him　with　black

displeasure；　the　lucidity　of　his　mind；　of　which　he　was　very

conscious；　gave　him　an　extraordinary　assurance。　　He　was　not

asked　to　sit　down。



Half　an　hour　later　they　appeared　in　the　hall　together。　　The　lackeys

stood　up；　and　the　Prince；　moving　with　difficulty　on　his

gouty　feet；　was　helped　into　his　furs。　　The　carriage　had　been

ordered　before。　　When　the　great　double　door　was　flung　open　with　a

crash；　Razumov；　who　had　been　standing　silent　with　a　lost　gaze　but

with　every　faculty　intensely　on　the　alert；　heard　the　Prince's　voice



〃Your　arm；　young　man。〃



The　mobile；　superficial　mind　of　the　ex…Guards　officer；　man　of

showy　missions；　experienced　in　nothing　but　the　arts　of　gallant

intrigue　and　worldly　success；　had　been　equally　impressed　by　the

more　obvious　difficulties　of　such　a　situation　and　by　Razumov's

quiet　dignity　in　stating　them。



He　had　said；　〃No。　　Upon　the　whole　I　can't　condemn　the　step　you

ventured　to　take　by　coming　to　me　with　your　story。　　It　is　not　an

affair　for　police　understrappers。　　The　greatest　importance　is

attached　to。　。　。Set　your　mind　at　rest。　　I　shall　see　you　through

this　most　extraordinary　and　difficult　situation。〃