the book of snobs-第14部分

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seldom　introduces　you　to　anybody　under　a　marquis！　　I

don't　know　anything　more　delicious　than　the　pictures　of

genteel　life　in　'Ten　Thousand　a　Year；'　except　perhaps　the

'Young　Duke；'　and　'Coningsby。'　　There's　a　modest　grace

about　THEM；　and　an　air　of　easy　high　fashion；　which　only

belongs　to　blood；　my　dear　Sirto　true　blood。



And　what　linguists　many　of　our　writers　are！　　Lady　Bulwer；

Lady　Londonderry；　Sir　Edward　himselfthey　write　the

French　language　with　a　luxurious　elegance　and　ease　which

sets　them　far　above　their　continental　rivals；　of　whom　not

one　（except　Paul　de　Kock）　knows　a　word　of　English。



And　what　Briton　can　read　without　enjoyment　the　works　of

James；　so　admirable　for　terseness；　and　the　playful　humour

and　dazzling　offhand　lightness　of　Ainsworth？　　Among　other

humourists；　one　might　glance　at　a　Jerrold；　the　chivalrous

advocate　of　Toryism　and　Church　and　State；　an　a　Beckett；

with　a　lightsome　pen；　but　a　savage　earnestness　of

purpose；　a　Jeames；　whose　pure　style；　and　wit　unmingled

with　buffoonery；　was　relished　by　a　congenial　public。



Speaking　of　critics；　perhaps　there　never　was　a　review

that　has　done　so　much　for　literature　as　the　admirable

QUARTERLY。　　It　has　its　prejudices；　to　be　sure；　as　which

of　us　has　not？　　It　goes　out　of　its　way　to　abuse　a　great

man；　or　lays　mercilessly　on　to　such　pretenders　as　Keats

and　Tennyson；　but；　on　the　other　hand；　it　is　the　friend　of

all　young　authors；　and　has　marked　and　nurtured　all　the

rising　talent　of　the　country。　　It　is　loved　by　everybody。

There；　again；　is　BLACKWOOD'S　MAGAZINEconspicuous　for

modest　elegance　and　amiable　satire；　that　review　never

passes　the　bounds　of　politeness　in　a　joke。　　It　is　the

arbiter　of　manners；　and；　while　gently　exposing　the

foibles　of　Londoners　（for　whom　the　BEAUX　ESPRITS　of

Edinburgh　entertain　a　justifiable　contempt）；　it　is　never

coarse　in　its　fun。　　The　fiery　enthusiasm　of　the　ATHENAEUM

is　well　known：　and　the　bitter　wit　of　the　too　difficult

LITERARY　GAZETTE。　　The　EXAMINER　is　perhaps　too　timid；　and

the　SPECTATOR　too　boisterous　in　its　praisebut　who　can

carp　at　these　minor　faults？　　No；　no；　the　critics　of

England　and　the　authors　of　England　are　unrivalled　as　a

body；　and　hence　it　becomes　impossible　for　us　to　find

fault　with　them。



Above　all；　I　never　knew　a　man　of　letters　ASHAMED　OF　HIS

PROFESSION。　　Those　who　know　us；　know　what　an　affectionate

and　brotherly　spirit　there　is　among　us　all。　　Sometimes

one　of　us　rises　in　the　world：　we　never　attack　him　or

sneer　at　him　under　those　circumstances；　but　rejoice　to　a

man　at　his　success。　　If　Jones　dines　with　a　lord；　Smith

never　says　Jones　is　a　courtier　and　cringer。　　Nor；　on　the

other　hand；　does　Jones；　who　is　in　the　habit　of

frequenting　the　society　of　great　people；　give　himself　any

airs　on　account　of　the　company　he　keeps；　but　will　leave　a

duke's　arm　in　Pall　Mall　to　come　over　and　speak　to　poor

Brown；　the　young　penny…a…liner。



That　sense　of　equality　and　fraternity　amongst　authors　has

always　struck　me　as　one　of　the　most　amiable

characteristics　of　the　class。　　It　is　because　we　know　and

respect　each　other；　that　the　world　respects　us　so　much；

that　we　hold　such　a　good　position　in　society；　and　demean

ourselves　so　irreproachably　when　there。



Literary　persons　are　held　in　such　esteem　by　the　nation

that　about　two　of　them　have　been　absolutely　invited　to

court　during　the　present　reign；　and　it　is　probable　that

towards　the　end　of　the　season；　one　or　two　will　be　asked

to　dinner　by　Sir　Robert　Peel。



They　are　such　favourites　with　the　public；　that　they　are

continually　obliged　to　have　their　pictures　taken　and

published；　and　one　or　two　could　be　pointed　out；　of　whom

the　nation　insists　upon　having　a　fresh　portrait　every

year。　　Nothing　can　be　more　gratifying　than　this　proof　of

the　affectionate　regard　which　the　people　has　for　its

instructors。



Literature　is　held　in　such　honour　in　England；　that　there

is　a　sum　of　near　twelve　hundred　pounds　per　annum　set

apart　to　pension　deserving　persons　following　that

profession。　　And　a　great　compliment　this　is；　too；　to　the

professors；　and　a　proof　of　their　generally　prosperous　and

flourishing　condition。　　They　are　generally　so　rich　and

thrifty；　that　scarcely　any　money　is　wanted　to　help　them。



If　every　word　of　this　is　true；　how；　I　should　like　to　know

am　I　to　write　about　Literary　Snobs？







CHAPTER　XVII



A　LITTLE　ABOUT　IRISH　SNOBS



You　do　not；　to　be　sure；　imagine　that　there　are　no　other

Snobs　in　Ireland　than　those　of　the　amiable　party　who　wish

to　make　pikes　of　iron　railroads　（it's　a　fine　Irish

economy）；　and　to　cut　the　throats　of　the　Saxon　invaders。

These　are　of　the　venomous　sort；　and　had　they　been

invented　in　his　time；　St。　Patrick　would　have　banished

them　out　of　the　kingdom　along　with　the　other　dangerous

reptiles。



I　think　it　is　the　Four　Masters；　or　else　it's　Olaus

Magnus；　or　else　it's　certainly　O'Neill　Daunt；　in　the

'Catechism　of　Irish　History；'　who　relates　that　when

Richard　the　Second　came　to　Ireland；　and　the　Irish　chiefs

did　homage　to　him；　going　down　on　their　knees　the　poor

simple　creatures！and　worshipping　and　wondering　before

the　English　king　and　the　dandies　of　his　court；　my　lords

the　English　noblemen　mocked　and　jeered　at　their　uncouth

Irish　admirers；　mimicked　their　talk　and　gestures；　pulled

their　poor　old　beards；　and　laughed　at　the　strange　fashion

of　their　garments。



The　English　Snob　rampant　always　does　this　to　the　present

day。　　There　is　no　Snob　in　existence；　perhaps；　that　has

such　an　indomitable　belief　in　himself：　that　sneers　you

down　all　the　rest　of　the　world　besides；　and　has　such　an

insufferable；　admirable；　stupid　contempt　for　all　people

but　his　ownnay；　for　all　sets　but　his　own。　　'Gwacious

Gad'　what　stories　about　'the　Iwish'　these　young　dandies

accompanying　King　Richard　must　have　had　to　tell；　when

they　returned　to　Pall　Mall；　and　smoked　their　cigars　upon

the　steps　of　'White's。'



The　Irish　snobbishness　developes　itself　not　in　pride　so

much　as　in　servility　and　mean　admirations；　and　trumpery

imitations　of　their　neighbours。　　And　I　wonder　De

Tocqueville　and　De　Beaumont；　and　THE　TIMES'　Commissioner；

did　not　explain　the　Snobbishness　of　Ireland　as　contrasted

with　our　own。　　Ours　is　that　of　Richard's　Norman　Knights；…

…haughty；　brutal　stupid；　and　perfectly　self…confident；

theirs；　of　the　poor；　wondering；　kneeling；　simple

chieftains。　　They　are　on　their　knees　still　before　English

fashionthese　simple；　wild　people；　and　indeed　it　is　hard

not　to　grin　at　some　of　their　NAIVE　exhibitions。



Some　years　since；　when　a　certain　great　orator　was　Lord

Mayor　of　Dublin；　he　used　to　wear　a　red　gown　and　a　cocked

hat；　the　splendour　of　which　delighted　him　as　much　as　a

new　curtain…ring　in　her　nose　or　a　string　of　glass…beads

round　her　neck　charms　Queen　Quasheeneboo。　　He　used　to　pay

visits　to　people　in　this　dress；　to　appear　at　meetings

hundreds　of　miles　off；　in　the　red　velvet　gown。　　And　to

hear　the　people　crying　'Yes；　me　Lard！'　and　'No；　me　Lard！'

and　to　read　the　prodigious　accounts　of　his　Lordship　in

the　papers：　it　seemed　as　if　the　people　and　he　liked　to　be

taken　in　by　this　twopenny　splendour。　　Twopenny

magnificence；　indeed；　exists　all　over　Ireland；　and　may　be

considered　as　the　great　characteristic　of　the

Snobbishness　of　that　country。



When　Mrs。　Mulholligan；　the　grocer's　lady；　retires　to

Kingstown；　she　has　Mulholliganville'　painted　over　the

gate　of　her　villa；　and　receives　you　at　a　door　that　won't

shut　or　gazes　at　you　out　of　a　window　that　is　glazed　with

an　old　petticoat。



Be　it　ever　so　shabby　and　dismal；　nobody　ever　owns　to

keeping　a　shop。　　A　fellow　whose　stock　in　trade　is　a　penny

roll　or　a　tumbler　of　lollipops；　calls　his　cabin　the

'American　Flour　Stores；'　or　the　'Depository　for　Colonial

Produce；'　or　some　such　name。



As　for　Inns；　there　are　none　in　the　country；　Hotels　abound

as　well　furnished　as　Mulholliganville；　but　again　there

are　no　such　people　as　landlords　and　land…ladies；　the

landlord　is　out　with　the　hounds；　and　my　lady　in　the

parlour　talking　with　the　Captain　or　playing　the　piano。



If　a　gentleman　has　a　hundred　a　year　to　leave　to　his

family　they　all　become　gentlemen；　all　keep　a　nag；　ride　to

hounds；　and　swagger　about　in　the　'Phaynix；'　and　grow

tufts　to　their　chins　like　so　many　real　aristocrats。



A　friend　of　mine　has　taken　to　be　a　painter；　and　lives　out

of　Ireland；　where　he　is　considered　to　have　disgraced　the

family　by　choosing　such　a　profession。　　His　father　is　a

wine…merchant；　and　his　elder　brother　an　apothecary。



The　number　of　men　one　meets　in　London　and　on　the

Continent　who　have　a　pretty　little　property　of　five…and…

twenty　hundred　a　year　in　Ireland　is　prodigious：　those　who

WILL　have　nine　thousand　a　year　in　land　when　somebody　dies

are　still　more　numerous。　　I　myself　have　met　as　many

descendants　from　Irish　kings　as　would　form　a　brigade。



And　who　has　not　met　the　Irishman　who　apes　the　Englishman；

and　who　forgets　his　country　and　tries　to　forget　his

accent；　or　to　smother　the　taste　of　it；　as　it　were？

'Come；　dine　with　me；　my　boy；'　says　O'Dowd；　of

O'Dowdstown：　'you'll　FIND　US　ALL　ENGLISH　THERE；'　which　he

tells　you　with　a　brogue　as　broad　as　from　here　to

Kingstown　Pier。　　And　did　you　never　hear　Mrs。　Captain

Macmanus　talk　about　'I…ah…land；'　and　her　account　of　her

'fawther's　esteet？'　　Very　few　men　have　rubbed　through　the

world　without　hearing　and　witnessing　some　of　these

Hibernian　phenomenathese　twopenny　splendours。



And　what　say　you　to　the　summit　of　societythe　Castle

with　a　sham　king；　and　sham　lords…in…waiting；　and　sham

loyalty；　and　a　sham　Haroun　Alraschid；　to　go　about　in　a

sham　disguise；　making　believe　to　be　affable　and　splendid？

That　Castle　is　the　pink　and　pride　of　Snobbishness。　　A

COURT　CIRCULAR　is　bad　enough；　with　two　columns　of　print

about　a　little　baby　that's　christenedbut　think　of

people　liking　a　sham　COURT　CIRCULAR！



I　think　the　shams　of　Ireland　are　more　outrageous　than