a summer in a canyon-第24部分

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you　are　always　trying　to　cut　me　out　with　Bell　and　the　boys。'

'That's　a　perfectlyjet　blackfib！'　cried　Polly；　who　was　now
thoroughly　angry；　'and　I　don't　think　it　is　very　polite　of　you　to
attack　the　whole　party；　and　say　they　haven't　been　nice　to　you；　when
they've　done　everything　in　the　world！'

'It　isn't　your　party　any　more　than　mine；　is　it？　　And　if　I　don't　know
how　to　be　polite；　I　certainly　shan't　ask　YOU　for　instruction；　for　I
must　know　as　much　about　the　manners　of　good　society　as　you　do；
inasmuch　as　I　have　certainly　seen　more　of　it！'

Polly　sank　into　a　camp…chair；　too　stunned　for　a　moment　to　reply；
while　Laura；　who　had　gone　quite　beyond　the　point　where　she　knew　or
cared　what　she　said；　went　on　with　a　rush　of　words：　　'I　mean　to　tell
you；　now　that　I　am　started；　that　anybody　who　isn't　blind　can　see　why
you　toady　to　the　Winships；　who　have　money　and　social　position；　and
why　you　are　so　anxious　to　keep　everybody　else　from　getting　into　their
good　graces；　but　they　are　so　partial　to　you　that　they　have　given　you
an　entirely　false　idea　of　yourself；　and　you　might　as　well　know　that
unless　you　keep　yourself　a　little　more　in　the　background；　and　grow　a
little　less　bold　and　affected　and　independent；　other　people　will　not
be　quite　as　ready　as　the　Winships　to　make　a　pet　of　a　girl　whose
mother　keeps　a　boarding…house。'

Poor　Laura！　　It　was　no　sooner　said　than　she　regretted　ita　little；
not　much。　　But　poor　Polly！　　Where　was　her　good　angel　then？　　Why　could
she　not　have　treated　this　thrust　with　the　silence　and　contempt　it
deserved？　　But　how　could　Laura　have　detected　and　probed　the　most
sensitive　spot　in　the　girl's　nature？　　She　lost　all　command　of
herself。　　Her　rage　absolutely　frightened　her；　for　it　made　her　deaf
and　blind　to　all　considerations　of　propriety　and　self…respect；　and
for　a　moment　she　was　only　conscious　of　the　wild　desire　to　strike
yes；　even　to　killthe　person　who　had　so　insulted　all　that　was
dearest　to　her。

'Don't　dare　to　say　another　word！'　she　panted；　with　such　flaming
cheeks　and　such　flashing　eyes　that　Laura　involuntarily　retreated
towards　the　door；　half　afraid　of　the　tempest　her　words　had　evoked。
'Don't　dare　to　say　another　word；　or　I　don't　know　what　I　may　do！　　Yes；
I　am　glad　you　are　going；　and　everybody　will　be　glad；　and　the　sooner
you　go　the　better！　　You've　made　everybody　miserable　ever　since　you
came；　with　your　jealousy　and　your　gossip　and　your　fine…lady　airs；　and
if　Aunt　Truth　hadn't　loved　your　mother；　and　if　we　were　mean　enough　to
tell　tales；　we　would　have　repeated　some　of　your　disagreeable　speeches
long　ago。　　How　can　you　dare　to　say　I　love　the　Winships　for　anything
but　themselves？　　And　if　you　had　ever　seen　my　darling　mother；　you
never　could　have　called　her　a　boarding…house　keeper；　you　cruel'

Oh；　but　the　dashing　torrent　of　angry　words　stopped　at　the　mere
mention　of　her　mother。　　The　word　recalled　her　to　herself；　but　too
late。　　It　woke　in　her　memory　the　clasp　of　her　mother's　arms；　the
sound　of　the　sweet；　tired　voice：　　'Only　two　of　us　against　the　big
world；　Pollyyou　and　I。　　Be　brave；　little　daughter；　brave　and
patient。'　　Oh；　how　impatient　and　cowardly　she　had　been！　　Would　she
never　learn　to　be　good？　　The　better　impulses　rushed　back　into　her
heart；　and　crowded　out　the　bad　ones　so　quickly　that　in　another　moment
she　would　have　flung　herself　at　Laura's　feet；　and　implored　her
forgiveness　merely　to　gain　again　her　own　self…respect　and　her
mother's　approval；　but　there　was　no　time　for　repentance　（there　isn't
sometimes）；　for　the　clatter　of　wheels　announced　Pancho's　approach
with　the　team；　and　Mrs。　Winship　and　Anne　Burton　came　into　view；
walking　rapidly　towards　the　tent。

Laura　was　a　good　deal　disconcerted　at　their　ill…timed　appearance；　but
reflected　rapidly　that　if　Mrs。　Winship　had　overheard　anything；　it　was
probably　Polly's　last　speech；　in　which　case　that　young　person　would
seem　to　be　more　in　fault　than　herself；　so　stepping　out　of　the　tent
she　met　Mrs。　Winship　and　kissed　her　good…bye。

Little　Anne　ran　on　and　jumped　into　the　wagon；　with　all　a　child's　joy
at　the　prospect　of　going　anywhere。　　Polly's　back　was　turned；　but　she
could　not　disappear　entirely　within　the　tent　without　causing　Mrs。
Winship　surprise；　and　she　went　through　a　lifetime　of　misery　and　self…
reproach　in　that　minute　of　shame　and　fear；　when　she　dared　neither　to
advance　nor　retreat。

'I　don't　quite　like　to　let　you　go　alone；　Laura；　without　consulting
the　doctor；　and　I　can't　find　him；'　said　Mrs。　Winship。　　'Why；　you　are
nervous　and　trembling！　　Hadn't　you　better　wait　until　to…morrow？'

'No；　thank　you；　Mrs。　Winship。　　I　am　all　ready　now；　and　would　prefer
to　go。　　I　think　perhaps　I　have　stayed　quite　long　enough；　as　Polly　has
just　told　me　that　everybody　is　glad　to　see　the　last　of　me；　and　that
I've　made　you　all　miserable　since　I　came。

This　was　the　climax　to　Polly's　misery；　for　she　was　already　so
overcome　by　the　thought　of　her　rudeness　that　she　was　on　the　point　of
begging　Laura's　pardon　for　that　particular　speech　then　and　there；　and
she　had　only　to　hear　her　exact　words　repeated　to　feel　how　they　would
sound　in　Mrs。　Winship's　ears。

Mrs。　Winship　was　so　entirely　taken　aback　by　Laura's　remark；　that　she
could　only　ejaculate；　'Pollysaidthat！　　What　do　you　mean？'

'Oh；　I　am　quite　ready　to　think　she　said　more　than　she　intended；　but
those　were　her　words。'

'Polly！'

Polly　turned。　　Alas！　it　was　plain　enough　that　this　was　no　false
accusation。　　Her　downcast　eyes；　flushed；　tear…stained　cheeks；
quivering　lips；　and　the　silent　shame　of　her　whole　figure；　spoke　too
clearly。

'Can　it　be　possible；　Polly；　that　you　spoke　in　such　a　way　to　a　guest
who　was　about　to　leave　my　house？'

'Yes。'

The　word　was　wrung　from　Polly's　trembling　lips。　　What　could　she　say
but　'Yes；'it　was　true；and　how　could　she　repeat　the　taunts　that
had　provoked　her　to　retort？　　They　were　not　a　sufficient　excuse；　and
for　that　matter；　nothing　could　be　a　sufficient　excuse　for　her
language。　　Now　that　she　was　confronted　with　her　own　fault；　Laura's
seemed　so　small　beside　it　that　she　would　have　been　ashamed　to　offer
it　as　any　justification。

Mrs。　Winship　grew　pale；　and　for　a　moment　was　quite　at　a　loss　as　to
the　treatment　of　such　a　situation。

'Don't　say　any　more　about　it；　Mrs。　Winship；'　said　Laura；　'we　were
both　angry；　or　we　should　never　have　forgotten　ourselves；　and　I　shall
think　no　more　of　it。'　　Laura　spoke　with　such　an　air　of　modest　virtue；
and　seemed　so　ready　to　forgive　and　forget；　that　Polly　in　her　silence
and　confusion　appeared　worse　than　ever。

'But　I　want　you　to　remember　that　you　are　my　guest；　not　Pauline's；
that　I　asked　you　to　come　and　ask　you　to　remain。　　I　cannot　allow　you
to　go　simply　because　you　do　not　chance　to　be　a　favourite　with　another
of　my　guests。'　　（Oh！　the　pang　these　words　gave　Polly's　faulty；　tender
little　heart！）

'I　am　only　going　because　I　feel　so　ill；not　a　bit　because　of　what
Polly　said；　I　was　in　the　wrong；　too；　perhaps；　but　I　promise　not　to
let　anybody　nor　anything　make　me　quarrel　when　I　visit　you　again。
Good…bye！'　and　Laura　stepped　into　the　wagon。

'I　trust　you　will　not　mention　this　to　your　mother；　since　I　hope　it　is
the　only　unpleasant　incident　of　your　visit；　and　it　is　no　fault　of
mine　that　you　go　away　with　an　unhappy　impression　of　our　hospitality。'
Here　Mrs。　Winship　reached　up　and　kissed　little　Anne；　and　as　the
horses　were　restive；　and　no　one　seemed　to　have　anything　further　to
say；　Pancho　drove　off。

'I　don't　care　to　talk　with　you　any　more　at　present；　Polly；'　said　Mrs。
Winship。　　'I　am　too　hurt　and　too　indignant　to　speak　of　your　conduct
quietly。　　I　know　the　struggles　you　have　with　your　temper；　and　I　am
quite　willing　to　sympathise　with　you　even　when　you　do　not　come　off
victorious；　but　this　is　something　quite　different。　　I　can't　conceive
how　any　amount　of　provocation　or　dislike　could　have　led　you　into　such
disloyalty　to　me'；　and　with　this　she　walked　away。

Polly　staggered　into　a　little　play…room　tent　of　Dicky's；　where　she
knew　that　she　could　be　alone；　pinned　the　curtains　together　so　that　no
one　could　peep　in；　and　threw　herself　down　upon　the　long　cushioned
seat　where　Dicky　was　wont　to　take　his　afternoon　nap。　　There；　in　grief
and　despair；　she　sobbed　the　afternoon　through；　dreading　to　be
disturbed　and　dreading　to　be　questioned。

'My　beautiful　birthday　spoiled；'　she　moaned；　'and　all　my　own　fault！
I　was　so　happy　this　morning；　but　now　was　ever　anybody　so　miserable　as
I？　　And　even　if　I　tell　Aunt　Truth　what　Laura　said；　she　will　think　it
no　excuse；　and　it　isn't！'

As　it　neared　supper…time　she　made　an　opening　in　the　back　of　the　tent；
and　after　long　watching　caught　sight　of　Gin　on　his　way　to　the　brook
for　water；　signalled　him；　and　gave　him　this　despairing　little　note
for　Mrs。　Winship：…


Dear　Aunt　Truth；I　don't　ask　you　to　forgive　meI　don't　deserve　to
be　forgivenbut　I　ask　you　to　do　me　just　one　more　of　your　dear　little
kindnesses。　　Let　me　stay　alone　in　Dicky's　tent　till　morning；　and
please　don't　let　any　one　come　near　me。　　You　can　tell　everybody　the
whole　story　to…night；　if　you　think　best；　though　I　should　be　glad　if
only　Dr。　Paul　and　Bell　need　know；　but　I　do　not　mind　anything　after
displeasing　younothing　can　be　so　bad　as　that。　　Perhaps　you　think　I
ought　to　come　out　and　confess　it　to　them　myself；　as　a　punishment；　but
oh；　Aunt　Truth；　I　am　punishing　myself　in　here　alone　worse　than　any
one　else　can　do　it。　　I　will　go　back　to　Santa　Barbara　any　time　that
you　can　send　me　to　the　stage　station；　and　I　will　never　ask　you　to
love　me　again　until　I　have　learned　how　to　control　my　temper。　　Your
wretched；　wretched

POLLY。

P。S。I　remember　that　it　is　my　birthday；　and　all　that　you　have　done
for　me；　to…day　and　all　the　other　days。　　It　looks　as　if　I　were
ungrateful；　but　in　spite　of　what　I　did　I　am　not。　　The　words　just
blazed　out；　and　I　never　knew　that　they　were　going　to　be　said　till　I
heard　them　falling　from　my　mouth。　　It　seems　to　me　that　if　I　ever
atone　for　this　I　will　have　a　slate　and　pencil　hanging　to　my　belt；　and
only　write　what　I　have　to　say。　　POLLY。


The　moisture　came　to　Mrs。　Winship's　eyes　as　she　read　this　tear…
stained　little　note。　　'There's　something　here　I　don't　quite
understand；'　she　thought；　'and　yet　Polly　confessed　that　Laura　told
the　truth。　　Poor　child！but　she　has　got　to　learn