lay morals-第31部分
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dead and the living； the unnatural marriage of stately sepulchres and squalid houses； till； lower down； where the road has sunk far below the surface of the cemetery； and the very roofs are scarcely on a level with its wall； you observe that a proprietor has taken advantage of a tall monument and trained a chimney…stack against its back。 It startles you to see the red； modern pots peering over the shoulder of the tomb。
A man was at work on a grave； his spade clinking away the drift of bones that permeates the thin brown soil； but my first disappointment had taught me to expect little from Greyfriars' sextons； and I passed him by in silence。 A slater on the slope of a neighbouring roof eyed me curiously。 A lean black cat； looking as if it had battened on strange meats； slipped past me。 A little boy at a window put his finger to his nose in so offensive a manner that I was put upon my dignity； and turned grandly off to read old epitaphs and peer through the gratings into the shadow of vaults。
Just then I saw two women coming down a path； one of them old； and the other younger； with a child in her arms。 Both had faces eaten with famine and hardened with sin； and both had reached that stage of degradation； much lower in a woman than a man； when all care for dress is lost。 As they came down they neared a grave； where some pious friend or relative had laid a wreath of immortelles； and put a bell glass over it； as is the custom。 The effect of that ring of dull yellow among so many blackened and dusty sculptures was more pleasant than it is in modern cemeteries； where every second mound can boast a similar coronal； and here； where it was the exception and not the rule； I could even fancy the drops of moisture that dimmed the covering were the tears of those who laid it where it was。 As the two women came up to it； one of them kneeled down on the wet grass and looked long and silently through the clouded shade； while the second stood above her； gently oscillating to and fro to lull the muling baby。 I was struck a great way off with something religious in the attitude of these two unkempt and haggard women； and I drew near faster； but still cautiously； to hear what they were saying。 Surely on them the spirit of death and decay had descended； I had no education to dread here： should I not have a chance of seeing nature？ Alas！ a pawnbroker could not have been more practical and commonplace； for this was what the kneeling woman said to the woman upright … this and nothing more： 'Eh； what extravagance！'
O nineteenth century； wonderful art thou indeed … wonderful； but wearisome in thy stale and deadly uniformity。 Thy men are more like numerals than men。 They must bear their idiosyncrasies or their professions written on a placard about their neck； like the scenery in Shakespeare's theatre。 Thy precepts of economy have pierced into the lowest ranks of life； and there is now a decorum in vice； a respectability among the disreputable； a pure spirit of Philistinism among the waifs and strays of thy Bohemia。 For lo！ thy very gravediggers talk politics； and thy castaways kneel upon new graves； to discuss the cost of the monument and grumble at the improvidence of love。
Such was the elegant apostrophe that I made as I went out of the gates again； happily satisfied in myself； and feeling that I alone of all whom I had seen was able to profit by the silent poem of these green mounds and blackened headstones。
（1） RELIGIO MEDICI； Part ii。 （2） DUCHESS OF MALFI。
SKETCHES CHAPTER IV … NURSES
I KNEW one once； and the room where； lonely and old； she waited for death。 It was pleasant enough； high up above the lane； and looking forth upon a hill…side； covered all day with sheets and yellow blankets； and with long lines of underclothing fluttering between the battered posts。 There were any number of cheap prints； and a drawing by one of 'her children；' and there were flowers in the window； and a sickly canary withered into consumption in an ornamental cage。 The bed； with its checked coverlid； was in a closet。 A great Bible lay on the table； and her drawers were full of 'scones；' which it was her pleasure to give to young visitors such as I was then。
You may not think this a melancholy picture； but the canary； and the cat； and the white mouse that she had for a while； and that died； were all indications of the want that ate into her heart。 I think I know a little of what that old woman felt； and I am as sure as if I had seen her； that she sat many an hour in silent tears； with the big Bible open before her clouded eyes。
If you could look back upon her life； and feel the great chain that had linked her to one child after another； sometimes to be wrenched suddenly through； and sometimes； which is infinitely worse； to be torn gradually off through years of growing neglect； or perhaps growing dislike！ She had； like the mother； overcome that natural repugnance … repugnance which no man can conquer … towards the infirm and helpless mass of putty of the earlier stage。 She had spent her best and happiest years in tending； watching； and learning to love like a mother this child； with which she has no connection and to which she has no tie。 Perhaps she refused some sweetheart （such things have been）； or put him off and off； until he lost heart and turned to some one else； all for fear of leaving this creature that had wound itself about her heart。 And the end of it all … her month's warning； and a present perhaps； and the rest of the life to vain regret。 Or； worse still； to see the child gradually forgetting and forsaking her； fostered in disrespect and neglect on the plea of growing manliness； and at last beginning to treat her as a servant whom he had treated a few years before as a mother。 She sees the Bible or the Psalm… book； which with gladness and love unutterable in her heart she had bought for him years ago out of her slender savings； neglected for some newer gift of his father； lying in dust in the lumber…room or given away to a poor child； and the act applauded for its unfeeling charity。 Little wonder if she becomes hurt and angry； and attempts to tyrannise and to grasp her old power back again。 We are not all patient Grizzels； by good fortune； but the most of us human beings with feelings and tempers of our own。
And so； in the end； behold her in the room that I described。 Very likely and very naturally； in some fling of feverish misery or recoil of thwarted love； she has quarrelled with her old employers and the children are forbidden to see her or to speak to her； or at best she gets her rent paid and a little to herself； and now and then her late charges are sent up （with another nurse； perhaps） to pay her a short visit。 How bright these visits seem as she looks forward to them on her lonely bed！ How unsatisfactory their realisation； when the forgetful child； half wondering； checks with every word and action the outpouring of her maternal love！ How bitter and restless the memories that they leave behind！ And for the rest； what else has she？ … to watch them with eager eyes as they go to school； to sit in church where she can see them every Sunday； to be passed some day unnoticed in the street； or deliberately cut because the great man or the great woman are with friends before whom they are ashamed to recognise the old woman that loved them。
When she goes home that night； how lonely will the room appear to her！ Perhaps the neighbours may hear her sobbing to herself in the dark； with the fire burnt out for want of fuel； and the candle still unlit upon the table。
And it is for this that they live； these quasi…mothers … mothers in everything but the travail and the thanks。 It is for this that they have remained virtuous in youth； living the dull life of a household servant。 It is for this that they refused the old sweetheart； and have no fireside or offspring of their own。
I believe in a better state of things； that there will be no more nurses； and that every mother will nurse her own offspring； for what can be more hardening and demoralising than to call forth the tenderest feelings of a woman's heart and cherish them yourself as long as you need them； as long as your children require a nurse to love them； and then to blight and thwart and destroy them； whenever your own use for them is at an end。 This may be Utopian； but it is always a little thing if one mother or two mothers can be brought to feel more tenderly to those who share their toil and have no part in their reward。
SKETCHES CHAPTER V … A CHARACTER
THE man has a red； bloated face； and his figure is short and squat。 So far there is nothing in him to notice； but when you see his eyes； you can read in these hard and shallow orbs a depravity beyond measure depraved； a thirst after wickedness； the pure； disinterested love of Hell for its own sake。 The other night； in the street； I was watching an omnibus passing with lit…up windows； when I heard some one coughing at my side as though he would cough his soul out； and turning round； I saw him stopping under a lamp； with a brown greatcoat buttoned round him and his whole face convulsed。 It seemed as if he could not live long； and so the sight set my mind upon a train of thought； as I finished my cigar up and down the lighted streets。
He is old； but all these years have not yet quenched his thirst for evil； and his eyes still delight themselves in wickedness。 He is dumb； but he will not let that hinder his foul trade； or perhaps I should say； his yet fouler amusement； and he has pressed a slate into the service of corruption。 Look at him； and he will sign to you with his bloated head； and when you go to him in answer to the sign； thinking perhaps that the poor dumb man has lost his way； you will see what he writes upon his slate。 He haunts the doors of schools； and shows such inscriptions as these to the innocent children that come out。 He hangs about picture… galleries； and makes the noblest pictures the text for some silent homily of vice。 His industry is a lesson to ourselves。 Is it not wonderful how he c
