the dust-第39部分

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；　〃about　this　time　to…morrow。〃


It　was　a　boarding　house　on　the　west　side。　　And　when　the　slovenly；　smelly　maid　said；　〃Go　right　up　to　her　room；〃　he　knew　it　wasprobably　respectable；　but　not　rigidly　respectable。　　However；　working　girls　must　receive；　and　they　cannot　afford　parlors　and　chaperons。　Still　　It　was　no　place　for　a　lovely　young　girl；　full　of　charm　and　of　love　of　lifeand　not　brought　up　in　the　class　where　the　women　are　trained　from　babyhood　to　protect　themselves。

He　ascended　two　flights；　knocked　at　the　door　to　the　rear。　　〃Come！〃　called　a　voice；　and　he　entered。　　It　was　a　small　neat　room；　arranged　comfortably　and　with　some　taste。　　He　recognized　at　first　glance　many　little　things　from　her　room　in　the　Jersey　City　housethings　he　had　provided　for　her。　　On　the　chimney　piece　was　a　large　photograph　of　her　fatherNorman's　eyes　hastily　shifted　from　that。　　The　bed　was　folded　away　into　a　couchfor　space　and　for　respectability。　　At　first　he　did　not　see　her。　　But　when　he　advanced　a　step　farther；　she　was　disclosed　in　the　doorway　of　a　deep　closet　that　contained　a　stationary　washstand。

He　had　never　seen　her　when　she　was　not　fully　dressed。　　He　was　now　seeing　her　in　a　kind　of　wrapper　of　pale　blue；　clean　but　not　fresh。　　It　was　open　at　the　throat；　its　sleeves　fell　away　from　her　arms。　　And；　to　cap　the　climax　of　his　agitation；　her　hair；　her　wonderful　hair；　was　flowing　loosely　about　her　face　and　shoulders。

〃What's　the　matter　with　you？〃　she　cried　laughingly。　Her　eyes　sparkled　and　danced；　the　waves　of　her　hair；　each　hair　standing　out　as　if　it　were　alive；　sparkled　and　danced。　　It　was　a　smile　never　to　be　forgotten。　〃Why　are　you　so　embarrassed？〃

He　was　embarrassed。　　He　was　thrilled。　　He　was　enragedenraged　because；　if　she　would　thus　receive　him　whom　she　did　not　like；　she　would　certainly　thus　receive　any　man。

〃I　don't　mind　you；〃　she　went　on；　mockingly。　　〃I'd　have　to　be　careful　if　it　was　one　of　the　boys。〃

〃Do　you　receive　theboyshere？〃　demanded　he　glumly；　his　voice　arrogant　with　the　possessive　rights　a　man　feels　when　he　cares　for　a　woman；　whether　she　cares　for　him　or　not。

〃Why　not？〃　scoffed　she。　　〃Where　else　would　I　see　them？　　I　don't　make　street　corner　dates；　thank　you。　You're　as　bad　as　fat；　foolish　Mr。　Tetlow。〃

〃I　beg　your　pardon；〃　said　he　humbly。

She　straightway　relented；　saying：　　〃Of　course　I'd　not　let　one　of　the　boys　come　up　when　I　was　dressed　like　this。　　But　I　didn't　mind　YOU。〃　　He　winced　at　this　amiable；　unconscious　reminder　of　her　always　exasperating　and　tantalizing　and　humiliating　indifference　to　him　〃And　as　I'm　going　to　a　grand　dance　to…night　I　simply　had　to　wash　my　hair。　　Does　that　satisfy　you；　Mr。　Primmey？〃

He　hid　the　torment　of　his　reopened　wound　and　seated　himself　at　the　center　table。　　She　returned　to　a　chair　in　the　window　where　the　full　force　of　the　afternoon　sun　would　concentrate　upon　her　hair。　　And　he　gazed　spell　bound。　　He　had　always　known　that　her　hair　was　fine。　He　had　never　dreamed　it　was　like　this。　　It　was　thick；　it　was　fine　and　soft。　　In　color；　as　the　sunbeams　streamed　upon　it；　it　was　all　the　shades　of　gold　and　all　the　other　beautiful　shades　between　brown　and　red。　　It　fell　about　her　face；　about　her　neck；　about　her　shoulders　in　a　gorgeous　veil。　　And　her　pure　white　skin　　It　was　an　even　more　wonderful　white　below　the　line　of　her　collar　where　he　had　never　seen　it　before。　　Such　exquisitely　modeled　earssuch　a　delicate　noseand　the　curve　of　her　cheeksand　the　glory　of　her　eyes！　　He　clinched　his　teeth　and　his　hands；　sat　dumb　with　his　gaze　down。

〃How　do　you　like　my　room？〃　she　chattered　on。　〃It's　not　so　badreally　quite　comfortablethough　I'm　afraid　I'll　be　cold　when　the　weather　changes。　　But　it's　the　best　I　can　do。　　As　it　is；　I　don't　see　how　I'm　going　to　make　ends　meet。　　I　pay　twelve　of　my　fifteen　for　this　room　and　two　meals。　　The　rest　goes　for　lunch　and　car　fare。　　As　soon　as　I　have　to　get　clothes〃　　She　broke　off；　laughing。

〃Well；〃　he　said；　〃what　then？〃

〃I'm　sure　I　don't　know；〃　replied　she　carelessly。　〃Perhaps　old　Mr。　Branscombe'll　give　me　a　raise。　　Still；　eighteen　or　twenty　is　the　most　I　could　hope　forand　that　wouldn't　mean　enough　for　clothes。〃

She　shook　her　head　vigorously　and　her　hair　stood　out　yet　more　vividly　and　the　sunbeams　seemed　to　go　mad　with　joy　as　they　danced　over　and　under　and　through　it。　　He　had　ventured　to　glance　up；　again　he　hastily　looked　down。

〃You　spoiled　me；〃　she　went　on。　　〃Those　few　months　over　there　in　Jersey　City。　　It　made　SUCH　a　change　in　me；　though　I　didn't　realize　it　at　the　time。　You　see；　I　hadn't　known　since　I　was　a　tiny　little　girl　what　it　was　to　live　really　decently；　and　so　I　was　able　to　get　along　quite　contentedly。　　I　didn't　know　any　better。〃　　She　made　a　wry　face。　　〃How　I　loathe　the　canned　and　cold　storage　stuff　I　have　to　eat　nowadays。　And　how　I　do　miss　the　beautiful　room　I　had　in　that　big　house　over　there！　and　how　I　miss　Molly　and　Patand　the　gardenand　doing　as　I　pleasedand　the　clothes　I　had：　　I　thought　I　was　being　careful　and　not　spoiling　myself。　　You　may　not　believe　it；　but　I　was　really　conscientious　about　spending　money。〃　　She　laughed　in　a　queer；　absent　way。　　〃I　had　such　a　funny　idea　of　what　I　had　a　right　to　do　and　what　I　hadn't。　　And　I　didn't　spend　so　very　much　on　out…and…out　luxury。　　But　enough　to　spoil　me　for　this　life。〃

As　Norman　listened；　as　he　notedin　her　appearance；　manner；　way　of　talkingthe　many　meaning　signs　of　the　girl　hesitating　at　the　fork　of　the　roadshe　felt　within　him　the　twinges　of　fear；　of　jealousyand　through　fear　and　jealousy；　the　twinges　of　conscience。　She　was　telling　the　truth。　　He　had　undermined　her　ability　to　live　in　purity　the　life　to　which　her　earning　power　assigned　her。　。　。　。　　WHY　had　she　been　so　friendly　to　him？　　Why　had　she　received　him　in　this　informal；　almost　if　not　quite　inviting　fashion？

〃So　you　think　I've　changed？〃　she　was　saying。　〃WellI　have。　　Gracious；　what　a　little　fool　I　was！〃

His　eyes　lifted　with　an　agonized　question　in　them。

She　flushed；　glanced　away；　glanced　at　him　again　with　the　old；　sweet　expression　of　childlike　innocence　which　had　so　often　made　him　wonder　whether　it　was　merely　a　mannerism；　or　was　a　trick；　or　was　indeed　a　beam　from　a　pure　soul。　　〃I'm　foolish　stillin　certain　ways；〃　she　said　significantly。

〃And　you　always　intend　to　be？〃　suggested　he　with　a　forced　smile。

〃Ohyes；〃　replied　shepositively　enough；　yet　it　somehow　had　not　the　full　force　of　her　simple　short　statements　in　the　former　days。

He　believed　her。　　Perhaps　because　he　wished　to　believe；　must　believe；　would　have　been　driven　quite　mad　by　disbelief。　　Still；　he　believed。　　As　yet　she　was　good。　But　it　would　not　last　much　longer。　　With　himor　with　some　other。　　If　with　him；　then　certainly　afterward　with　anotherwith　others。　　No　matter　how　jealously　he　might　guard　her；　she　would　go　that　road；　if　once　she　entered　it。　　If　he　would　have　her　for　his　very　own　he　must　strengthen　her；　not　weaken　her；　must　keep　her　〃foolish　stillin　certain　ways。〃

He　said：　　〃There's　nothing　in　the　other　sort　of　life。〃

〃That's　what　they　say；〃　replied　she；　with　ominous　irritation。　　〃Stillsome　girlsLOTS　of　girls　seem　to　get　on　mighty　well　without　being　so　terribly　particular。〃

〃You　ought　to　see　them　after　a　few　years。〃

〃I'm　only　twenty…one；〃　laughed　she。　　〃I've　got　lots　of　time　before　I'm　old。　。　。　。　　You　haven'tmarried？〃

〃No；〃　said　he。

〃I　thought　I'd　have　heard；　if　you　had。〃　　She　laughed　queerlyagain　shook　out　her　hair；　and　it　shimmered　round　her　face　and　over　her　head　and　out　from　her　shoulders　like　flames。　　〃You've　got　a　kind　of　aMr。　Tetlow　way　of　talking。　　It　doesn't　remind　me　of　you　as　you　were　in　Jersey　City。〃

She　said　nothing；　she　suggested　nothing　that　had　the　least　impropriety　in　it；　or　faintest　hint　of　impropriety。　　It　was　nothing　positive；　nothing　aggressive；　but　a　certain　vague　negative　something　that　gave　him　the　impression　of　innocence　still　innocent　but　looking　or　trying　to　look　tolerantly　where　it　should　not。　　And　he　felt　dizzy　and　sick；　stricken　with　shame　and　remorse　and　jealous　fear。　　Yesshe　was　sliding　slowly；　gently；　unconsciously　down　to　the　depth　in　which　he　had　been　lying；　sick　and　shudderingno；　to　deeper　depthsto　the　depths　where　there　is　no　light；　no　trace　of　a　return　path。　　And　he　had　started　her　down。　　He　had　done　it　when　he；　in　his　pride　and　selfishness；　had　ignored　what　the　success　of　his　project　would　mean　for　her。　　But　he　knew　now；　in　bitterness　and　shame　and　degradation　he　had　learned。　　〃I　was　infamous！〃　he　said　to　himself。

She　began　to　talk　in　a　low；　embarrassed　voice：

〃Sometimes　I　think　of　getting　married。　　There's　a　young　mana　young　lawyerhe　makes　twenty…five　a　week；　but　it'll　be　years　and　years　before　he　has　a　good　living。　　A　man　doesn't　get　on　fast　in　New　York　unless　he　has　pull。〃

Norman；　roused　from　his　remorse；　blazed　inside。　〃You　are　in　love　with　him？〃

She　laughed；　and　he　could　not　tell　whether　it　was　to　tease　him　or　to　evade。

〃You'd　not　care　about　him　long；〃　said　Norman；　〃unless　there　were　more　money　coming　in　than　he'd　be　likely　to　get　soon。　　Love　without　money　doesn't　go　at　least；　not　in　New　York。〃

〃Do　you　suppose　I　don't　know　that？〃　said　she　with　the　irritation　of　one　faced　by　a　hateful　fact。　〃StillI　don't　see　what　to　do。〃

Norman；　biting　his　lip　and　fuming　and　observing　her　with　jealous　eyes；　said　in　the　best　voice　he　could　command；　〃How　long　have　you　been　in　love　with　him？〃

〃Did　I　say　I　was　in　love？〃　mocked　she。

〃You　didn't　say　you　weren't。　　Who　is　he？〃

〃If　you'll　stay　on　about　half　an　hour　or　so；　you'll　see　him。　　Noyou　can't。　　I've　got　to　get　dressed　before　I　let　him　up。　　He　has　very　strict　ideaswhere　I'm　concerned。〃

〃Then　why　did　you　let　ME　come　up？〃　Norman　said；　with　a　penetrating　glance。

She　lowered　her　gaze　and　a　faint　flush　stole　into　her　cheeks。　　Was　it　confession　of　the　purpose　he　suspected？　Or；　was　it　merely　embarrassment？

〃I　heard　of　a　case　once；〃　continued　Norman；　his　gaze　significantly　direct；　〃the　case　of　a　girl　who　was　in　love　with　a　poor　young　fellow。　　She　wanted　money　luxury。　　Also；　she　wanted　the　poor　young　fellow。〃

The　color　flamed　into　the　girl's　face；　then　left　it　pale。　Her　white　fingers　fluttered　with　nervous　grace　into　her　masses　of　hair　and　back　to　her　lap　again；　to　rest　there　in　timid　quiet。

〃She　knew　another　man；〃　pursued　Norman；　〃one　who　was　able　to　give　her　what　she　wa