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And called the malt…tax sinful;

Jack heeded not their angry words;

But smiled and drank his skinful。

And when men wasted health and life;

In search of rank and riches;

Jack marched aloof the paltry strife;

And wore his threadbare breeches。



〃I enter not the Church;〃 he said;

〃But I'll not seek to rob it;〃

So worthy Jack Joe Miller read;

While others studied Cobbett。

His talk it was of feast and fun;

His guide the Almanack;

From youth to age thus gaily run

The life of Jolly Jack。



And when Jack prayed; as oft he would;

He humbly thanked his Maker;

〃I am;〃 said he; 〃O Father good!

Nor Catholic nor Quaker:

Give each his creed; let each proclaim

His catalogue of curses;

I trust in Thee; and not in them;

In Thee; and in Thy mercies!



〃Forgive me if; midst all Thy works;

No hint I see of damning;

And think there's faith among the Turks;

And hope for e'en the Brahmin。

Harmless my mind is; and my mirth;

And kindly is my laughter; 

I cannot see the smiling earth; 

And think there's hell hereafter。〃



Jack died; he left no legacy;

Save that his story teaches: …

Content to peevish poverty;

Humility to riches。

Ye scornful great; ye envious small;

Come fellow in his track;

We all were happier; if we all

Would copy Jolly Jack。



William Makepeace Thackeray '1811…1863'





THE KING OF BRENTFORD

After Beranger



There was a King in Brentford; … of whom no legends tell;

But who; without his glory; … could eat and sleep right well。

His Polly's cotton nightcap … it was his crown of state;

He slept of evenings early; … and rose of mornings late。



All in a fine mud palace; … each day he took four meals;

And for a guard of honor; … a dog ran at his heels。

Sometimes to view his kingdoms; … rode forth this monarch good;

And then a prancing jackass … he royally bestrode。



There were no costly habits … with which this King was cursed;

Except (and where's the harm on't) … a somewhat lively thirst;

But people must pay taxes; … and Kings must have their sport;

So out of every gallon … His Grace he took a quart。



He pleased the ladies round him; … with manners soft and bland;

With reason good; they named him; … the father of his land。

Each year his mighty armies … marched forth in gallant show;

Their enemies were targets; … their bullets they were tow。



He vexed no quiet neighbor; … no useless conquest made;

But by the laws of pleasure; … his peaceful realm he swayed。

And in the years he reigned; … through all this country wide;

There was no cause for weeping; … save when the good man died。



The faithful men of Brentford; … do still their King deplore;

His portrait yet is swinging; … beside an alehouse door。

And topers; tender…hearted; … regard his honest phiz;

And envy times departed; … that knew a reign like his。



William Makepeace Thackeray '1811…1863'





KAISER & CO



Der Kaiser auf der Vaterland

Und Gott on high; all dings gommand;

Ve two; ach don'd you understandt?

Meinself … und Gott。



He reigns in heafen; und always shall; 

Und mein own embire don'd vas shmall;

Ein noble bair; I dink you call

Meinself … und Gott。



Vile some mens sing der power divine;

Mein soldiers sing der 〃Wacht am Rhein;〃

Und drink der healt in Rhenish wein

Auf me … und Gott。



Dere's France dot swaggers all aroundt;

She's ausgespieldt … she's no aggoundt;

To mooch ve dinks she don'd amoundt;

Meinself … und Gott。



She vill not dare to fight again;

But if she shouldt; I'll show her blain

Dot Elsass und (in French) Lorraine

Are mein … und Gott's。



Dere's grandma dinks she's nicht shmall beer;

Mit Boers und dings she interfere;

She'll learn none runs dis hemisphere

But me … und Gott。



She dinks; goot frau; some ships she's got;

Und soldiers mit der sgarlet goat;

Ach! ve could knock dem … pouf! like dot;

Meinself … und Gott。



In dimes auf peace; brebared for wars;

I bear der helm und sbear auf Mars;

Und care nicht for den dousant czars;

Meinself … und Gott。



In short; I humor efery whim;

Mit aspect dark und visage grim;

Gott pulls mit me und I mit Him …

Meinself … und Gott。



Alexander Macgregor Rose '1846…1898'





NONGTONGPAW



John Bull for pastime took a prance;

Some time ago; to peep at France;

To talk of sciences and arts;

And knowledge gained in foreign parts。

Monsieur; obsequious; heard him speak;

And answered John in heathen Greek;

To all he asked; 'bout all he saw;

'Twas; 〃Monsieur; je vous n'entends pas。〃



John; to the Palais…Royal come;

Its splendor almost struck him dumb。

〃I say; whose house is that there here?〃

〃House!  Je vous n'entends pas; Monsieur。〃

〃What; Nongtongpaw again!〃 cries John;

〃This fellow is some mighty Don:

No doubt he's plenty for the maw; …

I'll breakfast with this Nongtongpaw。〃



John saw Versailles from Marli's height;

And cried; astonished at the sight;

〃Whose fine estate is that there here?〃

〃State!  Je vous n'entends pas; Monsieur。〃

〃His? what; the land and houses too?

The fellow's richer than a Jew:

On everything he lays his claw!

I should like to dine with Nongtongpaw。〃



Next tripping came a courtly fair;

John cried; enchanted with her air;

〃What lovely wench is that there here?〃

〃Ventch!  Je vous n'entends pas; Monsieur。〃

〃What; he again?  Upon my life!

A palace; lands; and then a wife

Sir Joshua might delight to draw:

I should like to sup with Nongtongpaw。



〃But hold! whose funeral's that?〃 cries John。

〃Je vous n'entends pas。〃 … 〃What; is he gone?

Wealth; fame; and beauty could not save

Poor Nongtongpaw; then; from the grave!

His race is run; his game is up; …

I'd with him breakfast; dine; and sup;

But since he chooses to withdraw;

Good night t' ye; Mounseer Nongtongpaw!〃



Charles Dibdin '1745…1814'





THE LION AND THE CUB



How fond are men of rule and place;

Who court it from the mean and base!

These cannot bear an equal nigh;

But from superior merit fly。

They love the cellar's vulgar joke;

And lose their hours in ale and smoke。

There o'er some petty club preside;

So poor; so paltry; is their pride!

Nay; even with fools whole nights will sit;

In hopes to be supreme in wit。

If these can read; to these I write;

To set their worth in truest light。



A Lion…cub of sordid mind;

Avoided all the lion kind;

Fond of applause; he sought the feasts

Of vulgar and ignoble beasts;

With asses all his time he spent;

Their club's perpetual president。

He caught their manners; looks; and airs;

An ass in everything but ears!

If e'er his Highness meant a joke;

They grinned applause before he spoke;

But at each word what shouts of praise!

〃Good gods! how natural he brays!〃

Elate with flattery and conceit;

He seeks his royal sire's retreat;

Forward; and fond to show his parts;

His Highness brays; the Lion starts。

〃Puppy! that cursed vociferation

Betrays thy life and conversation:

Coxcombs; an ever…noisy race;

Are trumpets of their own disgrace。〃

〃Why so severe?〃 the Cub replies;

〃Our senate always held me wise!〃

〃How weak is pride;〃 returns the sire:

〃All fools are vain when fools admire!

But know; what stupid asses prize;

Lions and noble beasts despise。〃



John Gay '1685…1732'





THE HARE WITH MANY FRIENDS



Friendship; like love; is but a name;

Unless to one you stint the flame。

The child; whom many fathers share;

Hath seldom known a father's care。

'Tis thus in friendship; who depend

On many; rarely find a friend。

A Hare; who; in a civil way;

Complied with everything; like Gay;

Was known by all the bestial train;

Who haunt the wood; or graze the plain;

Her care was never to offend;

And every creature was her friend。

As forth she went at early dawn;

To taste the dew…besprinkled lawn;

Behind she hears the hunter's cries;

And from the deep…mouthed thunder flies:

She starts; she stops; she pants for breath;

She hears the near advance of death;

She doubles; to mislead the hound;

And measures back her mazy round:

Till; fainting in the public way;

Half dead with fear she gasping lay。

What transport in her bosom grew;

When first the Horse appeared in view!

〃Let me;〃 says she; 〃your back ascend;

And owe my safety to a friend。

You know my feet betray my flight:

To friendship every burden's light。〃

The Horse replied: 〃Poor honest Puss;

It grieves my heart to see thee thus;

Be comforted; relief is near;

For all your friends are in the rear。〃

She next the stately Bull implored;

And thus replied the mighty lord:

〃Since every beast alive can tell

That I sincerely wish you well;

I may; without offence; pretend;

To take the freedom of a friend。

Love calls me hence; a favorite cow

Expects me near yon barley…mow;

And when a lady's in the case;

You know; all other things give place。

To leave you thus might seem unkind;

But see; the Goat is just behind。〃

The Goat remarked her pulse was high;

Her languid head; her heavy eye;

〃My back;〃 says he; 〃may do you harm;

The Sheep's at hand; and wool is warm。〃

The Sheep was feeble; and complained

His sides a load of wool sustained:

Said he was slow; confessed his fears;

For hounds eat sheep as well as Hares。

She now the trotting Calf addressed;

To save from death a friend distressed。

〃Shall I;〃 says he; 〃of tender age;

In this important care engage?

Older and abler passed you by;

How strong are those; how weak am I!

Should I presume to bear you hence;

Those friends of mine may take offence。

Excuse me; then。  You know my heart;

But dearest friends; alas! must part。

How shall we all lament!  Adieu!

For see; the hounds are just in view。〃



John Gay '1685…1732'





THE SYCOPHANTIC FOX AND THE GULLIBLE RAVEN



A raven sat upon a tree;

And not a word he spoke; for

His beak contained a piece of 

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