the trumpet-major-第57部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



'Well；　well；　think　it　over。'

This　discourse　was　the　cause　of　his　penning　a　letter　to　his　brother。
He　begged　for　a　distinct　statement　whether；　as　John　at　first
supposed；　Bob's　verbal　renunciation　of　Anne　on　the　quay　had　been
only　a　momentary　ebullition　of　friendship；　which　it　would　be　cruel
to　take　literally；　or　whether；　as　seemed　now；　it　had　passed　from　a
hasty　resolve　to　a　standing　purpose；　persevered　in　for　his　own
pleasure；　with　not　a　care　for　the　result　on　poor　Anne。

John　waited　anxiously　for　the　answer；　but　no　answer　came；　and　the
silence　seemed　even　more　significant　than　a　letter　of　assurance
could　have　been　of　his　absolution　from　further　support　to　a　claim
which　Bob　himself　had　so　clearly　renounced。　　Thus　it　happened　that
paternal　pressure；　brotherly　indifference；　and　his　own　released
impulse　operated　in　one　delightful　direction；　and　the　trumpet…major
once　more　approached　Anne　as　in　the　old　time。

But　it　was　not　till　she　had　been　left　to　herself　for　a　full　five
months；　and　the　blue…bells　and　ragged…robins　of　the　following　year
were　again　making　themselves　common　to　the　rambling　eye；　that　he
directly　addressed　her。　　She　was　tying　up　a　group　of　tall　flowering
plants　in　the　garden：　　she　knew　that　he　was　behind　her；　but　she　did
not　turn。　　She　had　subsided　into　a　placid　dignity　which　enabled　her
when　watched　to　perform　any　little　action　with　seeming　composure
very　different　from　the　flutter　of　her　inexperienced　days。

'Are　you　never　going　to　turn　round？'　he　at　length　asked
good…humouredly。

She　then　did　turn；　and　looked　at　him　for　a　moment　without　speaking；
a　certain　suspicion　looming　in　her　eyes；　as　if　suggested　by　his
perceptible　want　of　ease。

'How　like　summer　it　is　getting　to　feel；　is　it　not？'　she　said。

John　admitted　that　it　was　getting　to　feel　like　summer：　　and；　bending
his　gaze　upon　her　with　an　earnestness　which　no　longer　left　any　doubt
of　his　subject；　went　on　to　ask

'Have　you　ever　in　these　last　weeks　thought　of　how　it　used　to　be
between　us？'

She　replied　quickly；　'O；　John；　you　shouldn't　begin　that　again。　　I　am
almost　another　woman　now！'

'Well；　that's　all　the　more　reason　why　I　should；　isn't　it？'

Anne　looked　thoughtfully　to　the　other　end　of　the　garden；　faintly
shaking　her　head；　'I　don't　quite　see　it　like　that；'　she　returned。

'You　feel　yourself　quite　free；　don't　you？'

'QUITE　free！'　she　said　instantly；　and　with　proud　distinctness；　her
eyes　fell；　and　she　repeated　more　slowly；　'Quite　free。'　　Then　her
thoughts　seemed　to　fly　from　herself　to　him。　　'But　you　are　not？'

'I　am　not？'

'Miss　Johnson！'

'Othat　woman！　　You　know　as　well　as　I　that　was　all　make…up；　and
that　I　never　for　a　moment　thought　of　her。'

'I　had　an　idea　you　were　acting；　but　I　wasn't　sure。'

'Well；　that's　nothing　now。　　Anne；　I　want　to　relieve　your　life；　to
cheer　you　in　some　way；　to　make　some　amends　for　my　brother's　bad
conduct。　　If　you　cannot　love　me；　liking　will　be　well　enough。　　I　have
thought　over　every　side　of　it　so　many　timesfor　months　have　I　been
thinking　it　overand　I　am　at　last　sure　that　I　do　right　to　put　it　to
you　in　this　way。　　That　I　don't　wrong　Bob　I　am　quite　convinced。　　As
far　as　he　is　concerned　we　be　both　free。　　Had　I　not　been　sure　of　that
I　would　never　have　spoken。　　Father　wants　me　to　take　on　the　mill；　and
it　will　please　him　if　you　can　give　me　one　little　hope；　it　will　make
the　house　go　on　altogether　better　if　you　can　think　o'　me。'

'You　are　generous　and　good；　John；'　she　said；　as　a　big　round　tear
bowled　helter…skelter　down　her　face　and　hat…strings。

'I　am　not　that；　I　fear　I　am　quite　the　opposite；'　he　said；　without
looking　at　her。　　'It　would　be　all　gain　to　me　　But　you　have　not
answered　my　question。'

She　lifted　her　eyes。　　'John；　I　cannot！'　she　said；　with　a　cheerless
smile。　　'Positively　I　cannot。　　Will　you　make　me　a　promise？'

'What　is　it？'

'I　want　you　to　promise　first　　Yes；　it　is　dreadfully　unreasonable；'
she　added；　in　a　mild　distress。　　'But　do　promise！'

John　by　this　time　seemed　to　have　a　feeling　that　it　was　all　up　with
him　for　the　present。　　'I　promise；'　he　said　listlessly。

'It　is　that　you　won't　speak　to　me　about　this　for　EVER　so　long；'　she
returned；　with　emphatic　kindliness。

'Very　good；'　he　replied；　'very　good。　　Dear　Anne；　you　don't　think　I
have　been　unmanly　or　unfair　in　starting　this　anew？'

Anne　looked　into　his　face　without　a　smile。　　'You　have　been　perfectly
natural；'　she　murmured。　　'And　so　I　think　have　I。'

John；　mournfully：　　'You　will　not　avoid　me　for　this；　or　be　afraid　of
me？　　I　will　not　break　my　word。　　I　will　not　worry　you　any　more。'

'Thank　you；　John。　　You　need　not　have　said　worry；　it　isn't　that。'

'Well；　I　am　very　blind　and　stupid。　　I　have　been　hurting　your　heart
all　the　time　without　knowing　it。　　It　is　my　fate；　I　suppose。　　Men　who
love　women　the　very　best　always　blunder　and　give　more　pain　than
those　who　love　them　less。'

Anne　laid　one　of　her　hands　on　the　other　as　she　softly　replied；
looking　down　at　them；　'No　one　loves　me　as　well　as　you；　John；　nobody
in　the　world　is　so　worthy　to　be　loved；　and　yet　I　cannot　anyhow　love
you　rightly。'　　And　lifting　her　eyes；　'But　I　do　so　feel　for　you　that
I　will　try　as　hard　as　I　can　to　think　about　you。'

'Well；　that　is　something；'　he　said；　smiling。　　'You　say　I　must　not
speak　about　it　again　for　ever　so　long；　how　long？'

'Now　that's　not　fair；'　Anne　retorted；　going　down　the　garden；　and
leaving　him　alone。

About　a　week　passed。　　Then　one　afternoon　the　miller　walked　up　to
Anne　indoors；　a　weighty　topic　being　expressed　in　his　tread。

'I　was　so　glad；　my　honey；'　he　began；　with　a　knowing　smile；　'to　see
that　from　the　mill…window　last　week。'　　He　flung　a　nod　in　the
direction　of　the　garden。

Anne　innocently　inquired　what　it　could　be。

'Jack　and　you　in　the　garden　together；'　he　continued　laying　his　hand
gently　on　her　shoulder　and　stroking　it。　　'It　would　so　please　me；　my
dear　little　girl；　if　you　could　get　to　like　him　better　than　that
weathercock；　Master　Bob。'

Anne　shook　her　head；　not　in　forcible　negation；　but　to　imply　a　kind
of　neutrality。

'Can't　you？　　Come　now；'　said　the　miller。

She　threw　back　her　head　with　a　little　laugh　of　grievance。　　'How　you
all　beset　me！'　she　expostulated。　　'It　makes　me　feel　very　wicked　in
not　obeying　you；　and　being　faithfulfaithful　to'　　But　she　could
not　trust　that　side　of　the　subject　to　words。　　'Why　would　it　please
you　so　much？'　she　asked。

'John　is　as　steady　and　staunch　a　fellow　as　ever　blowed　a　trumpet。
I've　always　thought　you　might　do　better　with　him　than　with　Bob。　　Now
I've　a　plan　for　taking　him　into　the　mill；　and　letting　him　have　a
comfortable　time　o't　after　his　long　knocking　about；　but　so　much
depends　upon　you　that　I　must　bide　a　bit　till　I　see　what　your
pleasure　is　about　the　poor　fellow。　　Mind；　my　dear；　I　don't　want　to
force　ye；　I　only　just　ask　ye。'

Anne　meditatively　regarded　the　miller　from　under　her　shady　eyelids；
the　fingers　of　one　hand　playing　a　silent　tattoo　on　her　bosom。　　'I
don't　know　what　to　say　to　you；'　she　answered　brusquely；　and　went
away。

But　these　discourses　were　not　without　their　effect　upon　the
extremely　conscientious　mind　of　Anne。　　They　were；　moreover；　much
helped　by　an　incident　which　took　place　one　evening　in　the　autumn　of
this　year；　when　John　came　to　tea。　　Anne　was　sitting　on　a　low　stool
in　front　of　the　fire；　her　hands　clasped　across　her　knee。　　John
Loveday　had　just　seated　himself　on　a　chair　close　behind　her；　and
Mrs。　Loveday　was　in　the　act　of　filling　the　teapot　from　the　kettle
which　hung　in　the　chimney　exactly　above　Anne。　　The　kettle　slipped
forward　suddenly；　whereupon　John　jumped　from　the　chair　and　put　his
own　two　hands　over　Anne's　just　in　time　to　shield　them；　and　the
precious　knee　she　clasped；　from　the　jet　of　scalding　water　which　had
directed　itself　upon　that　point。　　The　accidental　overflow　was
instantly　checked　by　Mrs。　Loveday；　but　what　had　come　was　received　by
the　devoted　trumpet…major　on　the　back　of　his　hands。

Anne；　who　had　hardly　been　aware　that　he　was　behind　her；　started　up
like　a　person　awakened　from　a　trance。　　'What　have　you　done　to
yourself；　poor　John；　to　keep　it　off　me！'　she　cried；　looking　at　his
hands。

John　reddened　emotionally　at　her　words；　'It　is　a　bit　of　a　scald；
that's　all；'　he　replied；　drawing　a　finger　across　the　back　of　one
hand；　and　bringing　off　the　skin　by　the　touch。

'You　are　scalded　painfully；　and　I　not　at　all！'　　She　gazed　into　his
kind　face　as　she　had　never　gazed　there　before；　and　when　Mrs。　Loveday
came　back　with　oil　and　other　liniments　for　the　wound　Anne　would　let
nobody　dress　it　but　herself。　　It　seemed　as　if　her　coyness　had　all
gone；　and　when　she　had　done　all　that　lay　in　her　power　she　still　sat
by　him。　　At　his　departure　she　said　what　she　had　never　said　to　him　in
her　life　before：　　'Come　again　soon！'

In　short；　that　impulsive　act　of　devotion；　the　last　of　a　series　of
the　same　tenor；　had　been　the　added　drop　which　finally　turned　the
wheel。　　John's　character　deeply　impressed　her。　　His　determined
steadfastness　to　his　lode　star　won　her　admiration；　the　more
especially　as　that　star　was　herself。　　She　began　to　wonder　more　and
more　how　she　could　have　so　persistently　held　out　against　his
advances　before　Bob　came　home　to　renew　girlish　memories　which　had　by
that　time　got　considerably　weakened。　　Could　she　not；　after　all；
please　the　miller；　and　try　to　listen　to　John？　　By　so　doing　she　would
make　a　worthy　man　happy；　the　only　sacrifice　being　at　worst　that　of
her　unworthy　self；　whose　future　was　no　longer　valuable。　　'As　for
Bob；　the　woman　is　to　be　pitied　who　loves　him；'　she　reflected
indignantly；　and　persuaded　herself　that；　whoever　the　woman　might　be；
she　was　not　Anne　Garland。

After　this　there　was　something　of　recklessness　and　something　of
pleasantry　in　the　young　girl's　manner　of　making　herself　an　example
of　the　triumph　of　pride　and　common　sense　over　memory　and　sentiment。
Her　attitude　had　been　epitomized　in　her　defiant　singing　at　the　time
she　learnt　that　Bob　was　not　leal　and　true。　　John；　as　was　inevitable；
came　again　almost　immediately；　drawn　thither　by　the　sun　of　her　first
smile　on　him；　and　the　words　which　had　accompanied　it。　　And　now
instead　of　going　off　to　her　little　pursuits　upstairs；　downstairs；
across　the　room；　in　the　corner；　or　to　any　place　except　where　he