the ways of men(人们的手段)-第11部分
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them tells me that his wife received all the messages he sent to her during
his westward trip； the birds appearing each morning at her window （where
she was in the habit feeding them） with their tidings from mid…ocean。 He
also tells me that the French fleet in the Mediterranean recently received
messages from their comrades in the Baltic on the third day by these
feathered envoys。
It is hoped that in future ocean steamers will be able to keep up
communication with the land at least four out of the seven days of their
trips； so that； in case of delay or accident； their exact position and
circumstances can be made known at headquarters。 It is a pity； the
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originator of the scheme remarked； that sea…gulls are such hopeless
vagabonds； for they can fly much greater distances than pigeons； and are
not affected by dampness； which seriously cripples the present
messengers。
Later in the day a compatriot； inspired doubtless by the morning's
experiment； confided to me that he had hit on 〃a great scheme；〃 which he
intends to develop on arriving。 His idea is to domesticate families of
porpoises at Havre and New York； as that fish passes for having （like the
pigeon） the homing instinct。 Ships provided with the parent fish can free
one every twenty…four hours； charged with the morning's mail。 The
inventor of this luminous idea has already designed the letter…boxes that
are to be strapped on the fishes' backs； and decided on a neat uniform for
his postmen。
It is amusing during the first days 〃out〃 to watch the people whom
chance has thrown together into such close quarters。 The occult power that
impels a pigeon to seek its kind is feeble in comparison with the faculty
that travellers develop under these circumstances for seeking out
congenial spirits。 Twelve hours do not pass before affinities draw together；
what was apparently a homogeneous mass has by that time grouped and
arranged itself into three or four distinct circles。
The 〃sporty〃 gentlemen in loud clothes have united in the bonds of
friendship with the travelling agents and have chosen the smoking…room as
their headquarters。 No mellow sunset or serene moonlight will tempt these
comrades from the subtleties of poker； the pool on the run is the event of
their day。
A portly prima donna is the centre of another circle。 Her wraps； her
dogs； her admirers； and her brand…new husband （a handsome young
Hungarian with a voice like two Bacian bulls） fill the sitting…room； where
the piano gets but little rest。 Neither sunshine nor soft winds can draw
them to the deck。 Although too ill for the regular meals； this group eat and
drink during fifteen out of the twenty…four hours。
The deck； however； is not deserted； two fashionable dressmakers revel
there。 These sociable ladies asked the COMMISSAIRE at the start 〃to
introduce all the young unmarried men to them；〃 as they wanted to be
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jolly。 They have a numerous court around them； and champagne； like the
conversation； flows freely。 These ladies have already become expert at
shuffleboard； but their 〃sea legs〃 are not so good as might be expected；
and the dames require to be caught and supported by their admirers at each
moment to prevent them from tripping … an immense joke； to judge by the
peals of laughter that follow。
The American wife of a French ambassador sits on the captain's right。
A turn of the diplomatic wheel is taking the lady to Madrid； where her
position will call for supreme tact and self…restraint。 One feels a thrill of
national pride on looking at her high…bred young face and listening as she
chats in French and Spanish； and wonders once more at the marvellous
faculty our women have of adapting themselves so graciously and so
naturally to difficult positions； which the women of other nations rarely
fill well unless born to the purple。 It is the high opinion I have of my
countrywomen that has made me cavil； before now； on seeing them turned
into elaborately dressed nullities by foolish and too adoring husbands。
The voyage is wearing itself away。 Sunny days are succeeded by gray
mornings； as exquisite in their way； when one can feel the ship fight
against contending wind and wave； and shiver under the blows received in
a struggle which dashes the salt spray high over the decks。 There is an
aroma in the air then that breathes new life into jaded nerves； and stirs the
drop of old Norse blood； dormant in most American veins； into quivering
ecstasy。 One dreams of throwing off the trammels of civilized existence
and returning to the free life of older days。
But here is Havre glittering in the distance against her background of
chalk cliffs。 People come on deck in strangely conventional clothes and
with demure citified airs。 Passengers of whose existence you were
unaware suddenly make their appearance。 Two friends meet near me for
the first time。 〃Hallo； Jones！〃 says one of them； 〃are you crossing？〃
〃Yes；〃 answers Jones； 〃are you？〃
The company's tug has come alongside by this time； bringing its
budget of letters and telegrams。 The brief holiday is over。 With a sigh one
comes back to the positive and the present； and patiently resumes the
harness of life。
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CHAPTER 9 … 〃Climbers〃 in
England
THE expression 〃Little Englander；〃 much used of late to designate an
inhabitant of the Mother Isle in contra… distinction to other subjects of Her
Majesty； expresses neatly the feeling of our insular cousins not only as
regards ourselves； but also the position affected toward their colonial
brothers and sisters。
Have you ever noticed that in every circle there is some individual
assuming to do things better than his comrades … to know more； dress
better； run faster； pronounce more correctly？ Who； unless promptly
suppressed； will turn the conversation into a monologue relating to his
own exploits and opinions。 To differ is to bring down his contempt upon
your devoted head！ To argue is time wasted！
Human nature is； however； so constituted that a man of this type
mostly succeeds in hypnotizing his hearers into sharing his estimate of
himself； and impressing upon them the conviction that he is a rare being
instead of a commonplace mortal。 He is not a bad sort of person at bottom；
and ready to do one a friendly turn … if it does not entail too great
inconvenience。 In short； a good fellow； whose principal defect is the
profound conviction that he was born superior to the rest of mankind。
What this individual is to his environment； Englishmen are to the
world at large。 It is the misfortune； not the fault； of the rest of the human
race； that they are not native to his island； a fact； by the way； which
outsiders are rarely allowed to lose sight of； as it entails a becoming
modesty on their part。
Few idiosyncrasies get more quickly on American nerves or are further
from our hearty attitude toward strangers。 As we are far from looking upon
wandering Englishmen with suspicion； it takes us some time to realize that
Americans who cut away from their countrymen and settle far from home
are regarded with distrust and reluctantly received。 When a family of this
kind prepares to live in their neighborhood； Britons have a formula of
three questions they ask themselves concerning the new… comers： 〃Whom
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do they know？ How much are they worth？〃 and 〃What amusement （or
profit） are we likely to get out of them？〃 If the answer to all or any of the
three queries is satisfactory； my lord makes the necessary advances and
becomes an agreeable； if not a witty or original； companion。
Given this and a number of other peculiarities； it seems curious that a
certain class of Americans should be so anxious to live in England。 What
is it tempts them？ It cannot be the climate； for that is vile； nor the city of
London； for it is one of the ugliest in existence； nor their 〃cuisine〃 … for
although we are not good cooks ourselves； we know what good food is
and could give Britons points。 Neither can it be art； nor the opera； … one
finds both better at home or on the Continent than
