the angel and the author-第25部分

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rest　of　my　life。　　By　this　means　only　could　I　hope　to　avoid　every　
possible　faux　pas；　every　solecism。　　I　should　have　lived　and　died　a　
gentleman。　　I　could　have　had　it　engraved　upon　my　tombstone：

〃He　never　in　his　life　committed　a　single　act　unbecoming　to　a　
gentleman。〃

To　be　a　gentleman　is　not　so　easy；　perhaps；　as　a　fashionable　novelist　
imagines。　　One　is　forced　to　the　conclusion　that　it　is　not　a　question　
entirely　for　the　outfitter。　　My　attention　was　attracted　once　by　a　
notice　in　the　window　of　a　West…End　emporium；　〃Gentlemen　supplied。〃

It　is　to　such　like　Universal　Providers　that　the　fashionable　novelist　
goes　for　his　gentleman。　　The　gentleman　is　supplied　to　him　complete　in　
every　detail。　　If　the　reader　be　not　satisfied；　that　is　the　reader's　
fault。　　He　is　one　of　those　tiresome；　discontented　customers　who　does　
not　know　a　good　article　when　he　has　got　it。

I　was　told　the　other　day　of　the　writer　of　a　musical　farce　（or　is　it　
comedy？）　who　was　most　desirous　that　his　leading　character　should　be　a　
perfect　gentleman。　　During　the　dress　rehearsal；　the　actor　
representing　the　part　had　to　open　his　cigarette　case　and　request　
another　perfect　gentleman　to　help　himself。　　The　actor　drew　forth　his　
case。　　It　caught　the　critical　eye　of　the　author。

〃Good　heavens！〃　he　cried；　〃what　do　you　call　that？〃

〃A　cigarette　case；〃　answered　the　actor。

〃But；　my　dear　boy；〃　exclaimed　the　author；　〃surely　it　is　silver？〃

〃I　know；〃　admitted　the　actor；　〃it　does　perhaps　suggest　that　I　am　
living　beyond　my　means；　but　the　truth　is　I　picked　it　up　cheap。〃

The　author　turned　to　the　manager。

〃This　won't　do；〃　he　explained；　〃a　real　gentleman　always　carries　a　
gold　cigarette　case。　　He　must　be　a　gentleman；　or　there's　no　point　in　
the　plot。〃

〃Don't　let　us　endanger　any　point　the　plot　may　happen　to　possess；　for　
goodness　sake；〃　agreed　the　manager；　〃let　him　by　all　means　have　a　gold　
cigarette　case。〃

＇How　one　may　know　the　perfect　Gentleman。＇

So；　regardless　of　expense；　a　gold　cigarette　case　was　obtained　and　put　
down　to　expenses。　　And　yet　on　the　first　night　of　that　musical　play；　
when　that　leading　personage　smashed　a　tray　over　a　waiter's　head；　and；　
after　a　row　with　the　police；　came　home　drunk　to　his　wife；　even　that　
gold　cigarette　case　failed　to　convince　one　that　the　man　was　a　
gentleman　beyond　all　doubt。

The　old　writers　appear　to　have　been　singularly　unaware　of　the　
importance　attaching　to　these　socks；　and　ties；　and　cigarette…cases。　　
They　told　us　merely　what　the　man　felt　and　thought。　　What　reliance　can　
we　place　upon　them？　　How　could　they　possibly　have　known　what　sort　of　
man　he　was　underneath　his　clothes？　　Tweed　or　broadcloth　is　not　
transparent。　　Even　could　they　have　got　rid　of　his　clothes　there　would　
have　remained　his　flesh　and　bones。　　It　was　pure　guess…work。　　They　did　
not　observe。

The　modern　writer　goes　to　work　scientifically。　　He　tells　us　that　the　
creature　wore　a　made…up　tie。　　From　that　we　know　he　was　not　a　
gentleman；　it　follows　as　the　night　the　day。　　The　fashionable　novelist　
notices　the　young　man's　socks。　　It　reveals　to　us　whether　the　marriage　
would　have　been　successful　or　a　failure。　　It　is　necessary　to　convince　
us　that　the　hero　is　a　perfect　gentleman：　　the　author　gives　him　a　gold　
cigarette　case。

A　well…known　dramatist　has　left　it　on　record　that　comedy　cannot　exist　
nowadays；　for　the　simple　reason　that　gentlemen　have　given　up　taking　
snuff　and　wearing　swords。　　How　can　one　have　comedy　in　company　with　
frock…coatswithout　its　〃Las〃　and　its　〃Odds　Bobs。〃

The　sword　may　have　been　helpful。　　I　have　been　told　that　at　levees　
City　men；　unaccustomed　to　the　thing；　have；　with　its　help；　provided　
comedy　for　the　rest　of　the　company。

But　I　take　it　this　is　not　the　comedy　our　dramatist　had　in　mind。

＇Why　not　an　Exhibition　of　Gentlemen？＇

It　seems　a　pity　that　comedy　should　disappear　from　among　us。　　If　it　
depend　entirely　on　swords　and　snuff…boxes；　would　it　not　be　worth　the　
while　of　the　Society　of　Authors　to　keep　a　few　gentlemen　specially　
trained？　　Maybe　some　sympathetic　theatrical　manager　would　lend　us　
costumes　of　the　eighteenth　century。　　We　might　provide　them　with　
swords　and　snuff…boxes。　　They　might　meet；　say；　once　a　week；　in　a　
Queen　Anne　drawing…room；　especially　prepared　by　Gillow；　and　go　
through　their　tricks。　　Authors　seeking　high…class　comedy　might　be　
admitted　to　a　gallery。

Perhaps　this　explains　why　old…fashioned　readers　complain　that　we　do　
not　give　them　human　nature。　　How　can　we？　　Ladies　and　gentlemen　
nowadays　don't　wear　the　proper　clothes。　　Evidently　it　all　depends　
upon　the　clothes。



CHAPTER　XX



＇Woman　and　her　behaviour。＇

Should　women　smoke？

The　question；　in　four…inch　letters；　exhibited　on　a　placard　outside　a　
small　newsvendor's　shop；　caught　recently　my　eye。　　The　wanderer　
through　London　streets　is　familiar　with　such…like　appeals　to　his　
decision：　　〃Should　short　men　marry　tall　wives？〃　　〃Ought　we　to　cut　our　
hair？〃　　〃Should　second　cousins　kiss？〃　　Life's　problems　appear　to　be　
endless。

Personally；　I　am　not　worrying　myself　whether　women　should　smoke　or　
not。　　It　seems　to　me　a　question　for　the　individual　woman　to　decide　
for　herself。　　I　like　women　who　smoke；　I　can　see　no　objection　to　their　
smoking。　　Smoking　soothes　the　nerves。　　Women's　nerves　occasionally　
want　soothing。　　The　tiresome　idiot　who　argues　that　smoking　is　
unwomanly　denounces　the　drinking　of　tea　as　unmanly。　　He　is　a　wooden…
headed　person　who　derives　all　his　ideas　from　cheap　fiction。　　The　
manly　man　of　cheap　fiction　smokes　a　pipe　and　drinks　whisky。　　That　is　
how　we　know　he　is　a　man。　　The　womanly　womanwell；　I　always　feel　I　
could　make　a　better　woman　myself　out　of　an　old　clothes　shop　and　a　
hair…dresser's　block。

But；　as　I　have　said；　the　question　does　not　impress　me　as　one　
demanding　my　particular　attention。　　I　also　like　the　woman　who　does　
not　smoke。　　I　have　met　in　my　time　some　very　charming　women　who　do　not　
smoke。　　It　may　be　a　sign　of　degeneracy；　but　I　am　prepared　to　abdicate　
my　position　of　woman's　god；　leaving　her　free　to　lead　her　own　life。

＇Woman's　God。＇

Candidly；　the　responsibility　of　feeling　myself　answerable　for　all　a　
woman　does　or　does　not　do　would　weigh　upon　me。　　There　are　men　who　are　
willing　to　take　this　burden　upon　themselves；　and　a　large　number　of　
women　are　still　anxious　that　they　should　continue　to　bear　it。　　I　
spoke　quite　seriously　to　a　young　lady　not　long　ago　on　the　subject　of　
tight　lacing；　undoubtedly　she　was　injuring　her　health。　　She　admitted　
it　herself。

〃I　know　all　you　can　say；〃　she　wailed；　〃I　daresay　a　lot　of　it　is　true。　　
Those　awful　pictures　where　one　seeswell；　all　the　things　one　does　
not　want　to　think　about。　　If　they　are　correct；　it　must　be　bad；　
squeezing　it　all　up　together。〃

〃Then　why　continue　to　do　so？〃　I　argued。

〃Oh；　it's　easy　enough　to　talk；〃　she　explained；　〃a　few　old　fogies　like　
you〃I　had　been　speaking　very　plainly　to　her；　and　she　was　cross　with　
me〃may　pretend　you　don't　like　small　waists；　but　the　average　man　
does。〃

Poor　girl！　　She　was　quite　prepared　to　injure　herself　for　life；　to　
damage　her　children's　future；　to　be　uncomfortable　for　fifteen　hours　a　
day；　all　to　oblige　the　average　man。

It　is　a　compliment　to　our　sex。　　What　man　would　suffer　injury　and　
torture　to　please　the　average　woman？　　This　frenzied　desire　of　woman　
to　conform　to　our　ideals　is　touching。　　A　few　daring　spirits　of　late　
years　have　exhibited　a　tendency　to　seek　for　other　godsfor　ideals　of　
their　own。　　We　call　them　the　unsexed　women。　　The　womanly　women　lift　
up　their　hands　in　horror　of　such　blasphemy。

When　I　was　a　boy　no　womanly　woman　rode　a　bicycletricycles　were　
permitted。　　On　three　wheels　you　could　still　be　womanly；　but　on　two　
you　were　〃a　creature〃！　　The　womanly　woman；　seeing　her　approach；　would　
draw　down　the　parlour　blind　with　a　jerk；　lest　the　children　looking　
out　might　catch　a　glimpse　of　her；　and　their　young　souls　be　smirched　
for　all　eternity。

No　womanly　woman　rode　inside　a　hansom　or　outside　a　'bus。　　I　remember　
the　day　my　own　dear　mother　climbed　outside　a　'bus　for　the　first　time　
in　her　life。　　She　was　excited；　and　cried　a　little；　but　nobodyheaven　
be　praised！saw　usthat　is；　nobody　of　importance。　　And　afterwards　
she　confessed　the　air　was　pleasant。

〃Be　not　the　first　by　whom　the　new　is　tried；　Nor　yet　the　last　to　lay　
the　old　aside；〃　is　a　safe　rule　for　those　who　would　always　retain　the　
good　opinion　of　that　all…powerful；　but　somewhat　unintelligent；　
incubus；　〃the　average　person；〃　but　the　pioneer；　the　guide；　is　
necessary。　　That　is；　if　the　world　is　to　move　forward。

The　freedom…loving　girl　of　to…day；　who　can　enjoy　a　walk　by　herself　
without　losing　her　reputation；　who　can　ride　down　the　street　on　her　
〃bike〃　without　being　hooted　at；　who　can　play　a　mixed　double　at　tennis　
without　being　compelled　by　public　opinion　to　marry　her　partner；　who　
can；　in　short；　lead　a　human　creature's　life；　and　not　that　of　a　lap…
dog　led　about　at　the　end　of　a　string；　might　pause　to　think　what　she　
owes　to　the　〃unsexed　creatures〃　who　fought　her　battle　for　her　fifty　
years　ago。

＇Those　unsexed　Creatures＇

Can　the　working　woman　of　to…day；　who　may　earn　her　own　living；　if　she　
will；　without　loss　of　the　elementary　rights　of　womanhood；　think　of　
the　bachelor　girl　of　a　short　generation　ago　without　admiration　of　her　
pluck？　　There　were　ladies　in　those　day　too　〃unwomanly〃　to　remain　
helpless　burdens　on　overworked　fathers　and　mothers；　too　〃unsexed〃　to　
marry　the　first　man　that　came　along　for　the　sake　of　their　bread　and　
butter。　　They　fought　their　way　into　journalism；　into　the　office；　into　
the　shop。　　The　reformer　is　not　always　the　pleasantest　man　to　invite　
to　a　tea…party。　　Maybe　these　women　who　went　forward　with　the　flag　
were　not　the　most　charming　of　their　sex。　　The　〃Dora　Copperfield〃　type　
will　for　some　time　remain　the　young　man's　ideal；　the　model　the　young　
girl　puts　before　herself。　　Myself；　I　think　Dora　Copperfield　charming；　
but　a　world　of　Dora　Copperfields！

The　working　woman　is　a　new　development　in　sociology。　　She　has　many　
lessons　to　learn；　but　one　has　hopes　of　her。　　It　is　said　that　she　is　
unfitting　herself　to　be　a　wife　and　mother。　　If　the　ideal　helpmeet　for　
a　man　be　an　animated　Dresden　china　shepherdesssome