the prophet of berkeley square-第23部分

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〃Assure　the　Lord　Chancellor　that　the　last　boy　has　been　and　gonegone

away；　that　is；　Mr。　Ferdinand；　and　that　I　pledge　my　sacred　word　not　to

have　another　telegram　to…day。〃



〃Yes；　sir。　His　lordship　desired　that　you　should　be　informed　that；

according　to　the　law　regulating　public　abominations　and　intolerable

street　noises；　you　was　liable　to〃



〃I　know；　I　know。〃



〃And　that；　by　the　Act　dealing　with　gross　offences　against　the　public

order　and　scandalous　crimes　against　the　peace　of　metropolitan

communities；　you　was　amenable〃



〃Exactly。　Go　to　his　lordship　and　swear〃



〃I　couldn't　do　that　so　soon　again；　sir；　really。　I　swore　only　as　short

ago　as　yesterday；　sir；　by　your　express　order；　but〃



〃I　mean　asseverate　to　his　lordship　that　the　very　last　boy　has　knocked

for　the　very　last　time。〃



〃It　wasn't　so　much　the　knocking；　sir；　his　lordship　complained　of；　as

the　boys　coming　to　the　door　meeting　the　boys　going　away　from　it；　and

blocking　up　the　pavement；　sir；　so　that　no　one　could　get　past　and〃



〃Yes；　yes。　Go　and　asseverate　at　once；　Mr。　Ferdinand。〃



〃Very　well；　sir。　And　Her　Grace；　the　Duchess　of　Camberwell；　who　is

passing　from　one　fit　to　another；　sir；　from　fright　at　the　uproar　and

telegrams　going　to　the　wrong　house；　sir？〃



〃Implore　Her　Grace　to　have　courage　and　to　trust　me　as　a　gentleman　when

I　promise　solemnly　that　the　knocking　shall　not　be　renewed。〃



〃Very　well；　sir。〃



〃Mr。　Ferdinand！〃



〃Sir？〃



〃Have　the　knockers　swathed　in　cotton…wool　at　once。〃



〃Yes；　sir；〃



〃Andfix　a　bulletin　on　the　door。　Wait！　I'll　write　it。〃



The　Prophet　hastened　to　his　writing　table　and；　with　a　hand　that

trembled　violently；　wrote　on　a　card　as　follows：



〃Owner　of　this　house　seriously　ill；　pray　do　not　knock　or　/death/　shall

certainly　ensue。〃



〃There！　Poor　grannie　will　have　peace　now。　Nail　that　up；　Mr。　Ferdinand；

under　the　cotton…wool。〃



〃Very　well；　sir。　Mrs。　Merillia；　sir；　would　be　glad　to　speak　to　you　for

a　moment。　You　remember　I　informed　you？〃



〃I'll　go　to　her　at　once。　But　first　bring　me　a　glass　of　brandy；　Mr。

Ferdinand。　I'm　feeling　extremely　unwell。〃



And　the　Prophet；　who　was　paler　far　than　ashes；　and　beaded　from　top　to

toe　with　perspiration；　sank　down　feebly　upon　a　chair　and　let　his　head

drop　on　the　blotting…pad　that　lay　on　his　writing…table。



When　he　had　swallowed　an　inch　or　two　of　cognac　he　got　up；　pulled

himself　together　with　both　hands；　and　walked；　like　an　elderly　person

afflicted　with　incipient　locomotor　ataxy；　upstairs　into　the　drawing…

room　where　Mrs。　Merillia　was　lying　on　a　sofa；　ministered　to　by　Fancy

Quinglet；　who；　at　the　moment　of　his　entrance；　was　busily　engaged　in

stuffing　a　large　wad　of　cotton…wool　into　the　right　ear　of　her　beloved

mistress。



〃Leave　us　please；　Fancy；〃　said　Mrs。　Merillia；　in　a　voice　that　sounded

much　older　than　usual。　〃And　as　your　head　is　so　bad；　too；　you　had　better

lie　down。〃



〃Thank　you；　ma'am。　If　I　keep　upright；　ma'am；　I　feel　my　head　will　split

asunder。　I　can't　speak　different　nor　feel　other。〃



〃Then　don't　be　upright。〃



〃No；　ma'am。　Them　that　feels　other；　let　them　declare　it！〃　and　Mrs。　Fancy

retired；　holding　both　hands　to　her　temples；　and　uttering　very

distinctly　sundry　stifled　moans。



Mrs。　Merillia　motioned　the　Prophet　to　a　chair；　and；　after　lying　quite

still　for　about　five　minutes　with　her　eyes　tightly　shut；　said　in　a　weak

tone　of　voice；



〃How　many　more　telegrams　do　you　expect；　Hennessey？　You　have　had　twenty…

seven　within　the　last　three　hours。　Can　you　give　me　a　rough　general　idea

of　the　average　number　you　anticipate　will　probably　arrive　every　hour

from　now　till　the　offices　close？〃



〃Grannie；　grannie；　forgive　me！　I　assure　you〃



〃Don't　be　afraid　to　tell　me；　Hennessey。　It　is　much　better　to　know　the

worst；　and　fact　it　bravely。　Will　the　present　average　be　merely

sustained；　or　do　you　expect　the　quantity　to　increase　towards　night？

because　if　so〃



〃Grannie；　there　will　be　no　more。　I　swear　to　you　solemnly　that　I　will

not　have　another　telegram　to…day。　I　will　not　upon　my　sacred　honour。

Nothingnot　wild　horses　evenshall　induce　me。〃



〃Horses！　Then　were　they　racing　tips；　Hennessey？　Yes；　give　me　the　/eau

de　Cologne/　and　fan　me　gently。　Were　they　racing　tips？〃



〃Oh；　grannie；　how　could　you　suppose〃



At　this　moment　Mr。　Ferdinand　entered　softly　and　went　up　to　Mrs。

Merillia。



〃Mr。　Q。　Elisha　Hubsbee；　ma'am。　He　is　deeply　distressed　and　asks　for

news　。　。　。〃



〃The　Central　American　Ambassador's　grandfather；〃　said　Mrs。　Merillia；

reading　the　card　which　Mr。　Ferdinand　handed　to　her。



　〃Shocked　to　hear　you　are　so　ill　that　a　knock　will　finish　you。　Guess

　　you　must　be　far　gone。　Earnest　sympathy。　Have　you　tried　patent

　　morphia　molasses？



Q。　E。　H。〃





〃Ah！　how　things　get　about！　Tell　Mr。　Elisha　Hubsbee　the　knocks　have

nearly　killed　us　all；　Mr。　Ferdinand；　but　we　are　bearing　up　as　well　as

can　be　expected。　If　necessary　we　will　certainly　try　the　molasses。〃



〃Yes；　ma'am。〃



〃It　is　two　o'clock　now；　Hennessey。　The　Charing　Cross　office　is　open

till　midnight；　I　believe；　so　at　the　present　rate　you　should　only　have

about　ninety　more　telegrams　to…day。　But　if　you　have　reason　to　expect〃



Mr。　Ferdinand　re…entered。



〃Mrs。　Hendrick　Marshall　has　called；　ma'am。　She　desired　me　to　say　she

was　passing　the　door　and　was　much　horrified　to　find　that　you　are　so

near　the　point；　ma'am。〃



〃What　point；　Mr。　Ferdinand？〃



〃Of　death；　ma'am。　She　had　no　idea　at　all；　ma'am。〃



〃Oh；　thank　Mrs。　Hendrick　Marshall；　Mr。　Ferdinand；　and　say　we　shall　try

to　keep　from　the　point　for　the　present。



〃Yes；　ma'am。〃



〃That　the　numbers　will　go　up　as　the　afternoon　draws　on；　Hennessey〃



〃Grannie；　haven't　I　sworn；　and　have　you　ever　known　me　to　tell　you　a〃



Suddenly　the　Prophet　stopped　short；　thinking　how　that　very　night　he

would　be　forced　by　his　oath　to　〃Madame　and　self〃　to　break　his　promise

to　his　grandmother；　how　already　it　would　have　been　broken　had　not　Mr。

Ferdinand　on　the　previous　night　been　in　possession　of　the　telescope。



〃The　Chancellor　of　the　Exchequer；　ma'am；　desires　his　compliments；　and

he　begs　you　to　last　out；　if　possible；　till　he　has　fetched　Sir　William

Broadbent　to　see　you。　He　is　going　there　on　his　bike；　ma'am；　and　had　no

conception　you　was　dying　till　he　knew　it　this　moment；　ma'am。〃



〃Thank　the　Chancellor；　Mr。　Ferdinand；　and　say　that　though　we　must　all

go　out　some　day　I　have　no　desire　for　a　dissolution　at　present；　and

shall　do　my　best　to　prove　myself　worthy　of　my　constitution。〃



〃Yes；　ma'am。〃



Mr。　Ferdinand　retired；　brushing　away　a　tear。



〃It　would　not　be　feasible；　I　suppose；　Hennessey；　to　station　Gustavus

permanently　at　the　telegraph　office　with　a　small　hamper；　so　that　he

might　collect　the　wires　in　it　as　they　arrive　and　convey　them　here；　once

an　hour　or　so；　entering　by　the　area　door。　I　thought　perhaps　that　might

obviate〃



Mr。　Ferdinand　once　more　appeared；　looking　very　puffy　about　the　eyes。



〃If　you　please；　ma'am；　Laady　Julia　Posostlethwaite　is　below；　and

asks　wheether　you　are　truly　going　ma'am？〃



〃Going？　Where　to；　Mr。　Ferdinand？〃



〃The　other　plaace；　ma'am。　Her　ladyship　is　crying　something　terrible；

ma'am；　and　says；　till　she　nononoticed　the　fact　she　had　nono

notion　you　was　leaving　us　so　soon；　ma'am。〃



Here　Mr。　Ferdinand　uttered　a　very　strange　and　heartrending　sound　that

was　rather　like　the　bark　of　a　dog　with　a　bad　cold　in　its　head。



〃It　is　really　very　odd　so　many　people　finding　out　so　soon！〃　said　Mrs。

Merillia　in　some　surprise。　〃Tell　her　ladyship；　Mr。　Ferdinand；　that〃



But　at　this　moment　there　was　the　sound　of　feet　on　the　stairs；　and　Lady

Enid　Thistle　hurried　into　the　room；　closely　followed　by　Mr。　Robert

Green。　Lady　Enid　went　up　at　once　to　Mrs。　Merillia。



〃I　am　so　shocked　and　distressed　to　see　your　news；　dear　Mrs。　Merillia；〃

she　cried　affectionately。　〃But；〃　she　added；　with　much　inquisitiveness；

〃is　it　really　true　that　if　anyone　tapped　on　the　door　you　would

certainly　die？　How　can　you　be　so　sure　of　yourself。〃



〃What　do　you　mean？　Ah；　Mr。　Green；　how　d'you　do？　See　my　news！〃



〃Yes；　written　up　on　the　front　door。　Everyone's　shocked。〃



〃Rather！〃　said　Mr。　Green；　gazing　at　Mrs。　Merillia　with　confused

mournfulness。　〃One　doesn't　see　death　on　a　front　door　every　day；　don't

you　know；　in　big　round　hand　too；　and　then　one　of　those　modern　words。〃



〃Death　on　the　front　door　in　big　round　hand！〃　said　Mrs。　Merillia　in　the

greatest　perplexity。



〃I　put　it　there；　grannie；〃　said　the　Prophet；　humbly。　〃I　wrote　that　if

another　boy　knocked；　death　would　certainly　ensue。〃



〃Ensue。　That's　it。　I　knew　it　was　one　of　those　modern　words；〃　said　Mr。

Green。



〃Another　boy？〃　said　Lady　Enid。　〃Why　should　another　boy　knock？〃



〃Hennessey　receives　about　nine　telegrams　an　hour；〃　answered　Mrs。

Merillia。



〃Really！〃



Lady　Enid　looked　at　him　with　keen　interest；　while　Mrs。　Merillia

continued；



〃You　had　better　take　death　off　the　door　now；　Mr。　Ferdinand。　I　feel　more

myself。　Please　thank　her　ladyship　and　tell　her　so。〃



〃Yes；　ma'am。〃



〃Nine　telegrams　an　hour！〃　repeated　Lady　Enid。　〃Mr。　Vivian；　would　you

mind　just　seeing　me　as　far　as　Hill　Street？　Bob　has　to　go　to

Tattersall's。〃



〃Have　I；　Niddy？〃　asked　Mr。　Green；　with　evident　surprise。



〃Yes；　to　pick　up　a　polo　pony。　Don't　you　recollect？〃



〃A　polo　pony；　was　it？　By　Jove！〃



〃I　will　come　with　pleasure；〃　said　the　poor　Prophet；　who　felt　fit　only

to　lie　down　quietly　in　his　grave。　〃If　you　don't　mind　being　left；

grannie？〃



Mrs。　Merillia　was　looking　pleased。



〃No；　no。　Go　with　Lady　Enid；　my　dear　boy。　If　any　telegrams　come　shall　I

open〃



〃No；〃　cried　the　Prophet；　with　sudden　fierce　energy。　〃For　mercy's　sake

I　mean；　grannie；　dear；　that　none　will　come。　If　they　should〃his

ordinary　gentle　eyes　flamed　almost　furiously〃Mr。　Ferdinand　is　to　burn

them　unreadyes；　to　ashes。　I　will　tell　him。〃　And　he　escor