roundabout papers-第63部分

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s　informed　many　other　people　of　her　daughter's　illness；　and　her　anxiety　to　be　put　upon　the　right　way　to　Harlow。　　Not　long　since　a　very　gentleman…like　man；　Major　Delamere　let　us　call　him　（I　like　the　title　of　Major　very　much）；　requested　to　see　me；　named　a　dead　gentleman　who　he　said　had　been　our　mutual　friend；　and　on　the　strength　of　this　mutual　acquaintance；　begged　me　to　cash　his　cheque　for　five　pounds！　It　is　these　things；　my　dear　sir；　which　serve　to　make　a　man　cynical。　I　do　conscientiously　believe　that　had　I　cashed　the　Major's　cheque　there　would　have　been　a　difficulty　about　payment　on　the　part　of　the　respected　bankers　on　whom　he　drew。　　On　your　honor　and　conscience；　do　you　think　that　old　widow　who　was　walking　from　Tunbridge　Wells　to　Harlow　had　a　daughter　ill；　and　was　an　honest　woman　at　all？　　The　daughter　couldn't　always；　you　see；　be　being　ill；　and　her　mother　on　her　way　to　her　dear　child　through　Hyde　Park。　　In　the　same　way　some　habitual　sneerers　may　be　inclined　to　hint　that　the　cabman's　story　was　an　inventionor　at　any　rate；　choose　to　ride　off　（so　to　speak）　on　the　doubt。　　No。　　My　opinion；　I　own；　is　unfavorable　as　regards　the　widow　from　Tunbridge　Wells；　and　Major　Delamere；　but；　believing　the　cabman　was　honest；　I　am　glad　to　think　he　was　not　injured　by　the　reader's　most　humble　servant。　What　a　queer；　exciting　life　this　rogue's　march　must　be：　this　attempt　of　the　bad　half…crowns　to　get　into　circulation！　　Had　my　distinguished　friend　the　Major　knocked　at　many　doors　that　morning；　before　operating　on　mine？　　The　sport　must　be　something　akin　to　the　pleasure　of　tiger　or　elephant　hunting。　　What　ingenuity　the　sportsman　must　have　in　tracing　his　preywhat　daring　and　caution　in　coming　upon　him！　　What　coolness　in　facing　the　angry　animal　（for；　after　all；　a　man　on　whom　you　draw　a　cheque　a　bout　portant　will　be　angry）。　　What　a　delicious　thrill　of　triumph；　if　you　can　bring　him　down！　　If　I　have　money　at　the　banker's　and　draw　for　a　portion　of　it　over　the　counter；　that　is　mere　proseany　dolt　can　do　that。　　But；　having　no　balance；　say　I　drive　up　in　a　cab；　present　a　cheque　at　Coutts's；　and；　receiving　the　amount；　drive　off？　　What　a　glorious　morning's　sport　that　has　been！　　How　superior　in　excitement　to　the　common　transactions　of　every…day　life！　。　。　。　　I　must　tell　a　story；　it　is　against　myself；　I　know；　but　it　WILL　out；　and　perhaps　my　mind　will　be　the　easier。　More　than　twenty　years　ago；　in　an　island　remarkable　for　its　verdure；　I　met　four　or　five　times　one　of　the　most　agreeable　companions　with　whom　I　have　passed　a　night。　　I　heard　that　evil　times　had　come　upon　this　gentleman；　and；　overtaking　him　in　a　road　near　my　own　house　one　evening；　I　asked　him　to　come　home　to　dinner；　In　two　days；　he　was　at　my　door　again。　　At　breakfast…time　was　this　second　appearance。　　He　was　in　a　cab　（of　course　he　was　in　a　cab；　they　always　are；　these　unfortunate；　these　courageous　men）。　　To　deny　myself　was　absurd。　　My　friend　could　see　me　over　the　parlor　blinds；　surrounded　by　my　family；　and　cheerfully　partaking　of　the　morning　meal。　　Might　he　have　a　word　with　me？　and　can　you　imagine　its　purport？　　By　the　most　provoking　delay；　his　uncle　the　admiral　not　being　able　to　come　to　town　till　Fridaywould　I　cash　him　a　cheque？　　I　need　not　say　it　would　be　paid　on　Saturday　without　fail。　　I　tell　you　that　man　went　away　with　money　in　his　pocket；　and　I　regret　to　add　that　his　gallant　relative　has　not　COME　TO　TOWN　YET！　Laying　down　the　pen；　and　sinking　back　in　my　chair；　here；　perhaps；　I　fall　into　a　five　minutes'　reverie；　and　think　of　one；　two；　three；　half　a　dozen　cases　in　which　I　have　been　content　to　accept　that　sham　promissory　coin　in　return　for　sterling　money　advanced。　　Not　a　reader；　whatever　his　age；　but　could　tell　a　like　story。　　I　vow　and　believe　there　are　men　of　fifty；　who　will　dine　well　today；　who　have　not　paid　their　school　debts　yet；　and　who　have　not　taken　up　their　long…protested　promises　to　pay。　　Tom；　Dick；　Harry；　my　boys；　I　owe　you　no　grudge；　and　rather　relish　that　wince　with　which　you　will　read　these　meek　lines　and　say；　〃He　means　me。〃　　Poor　Jack　in　Hades！　　Do　you　remember　a　certain　pecuniary　transaction；　and　a　little　sum　of　money　you　borrowed　〃until　the　meeting　of　Parliament？〃　　Parliament　met　often　in　your　lifetime：　Parliament　has　met　since：　but　I　think　I　should　scarce　be　more　surprised　if　your　ghost　glided　into　the　room　now；　and　laid　down　the　amount　of　our　little　account；　than　I　should　have　been　if　you　had　paid　me　in　your　lifetime　with　the　actual　acceptances　of　the　Bank　of　England。　　You　asked　to　borrow；　but　you　never　intended　to　pay。　　I　would　as　soon　have　believed　that　a　promissory　note　of　Sir　John　Falstaff　（accepted　by　Messrs。　Bardolph　and　Nym；　and　payable　in　Aldgate；）　would　be　as　sure　to　find　payment；　as　that　note　of　the　departednay；　lamentedJack　Thriftless。　He　who　borrows；　meaning　to　pay；　is　quite　a　different　person　from　the　individual　here　described。　　Manymost；　I　hopetook　Jack's　promise　for　what　it　was　worthand　quite　well　knew　that　when　he　said；　〃Lend　me；〃　he　meant　〃Give　me〃　twenty　pounds。　　〃Give　me　change　for　this　half…crown；〃　said　Jack；　〃I　know　it's　a　pewter　piece；〃　and　you　gave　him　the　change　in　honest　silver；　and　pocketed　the　counterfeit　gravely。　What　a　queer　consciousness　that　must　be　which　accompanies　such　a　man　in　his　sleeping；　in　his　waking；　in　his　walk　through　life；　by　his　fireside　with　his　children　round　him！　　〃For　what　we　are　going　to　receive；〃　&c。he　says　grace　before　his　dinner。　　〃My　dears！　　Shall　I　help　you　to　some　mutton？　　I　robbed　the　butcher　of　the　meat。　　I　don't　intend　to　pay　him。　　Johnson　my　boy；　a　glass　of　champagne？　　Very　good；　isn't　it？　　Not　too　sweet。　　Forty…six。　　I　get　it　from　So…and…　so；　whom　I　intend　to　cheat。〃　　As　eagles　go　forth　and　bring　home　to　their　eaglets　the　lamb　or　the　pavid　kid；　I　say　there　are　men　who　live　and　victual　their　nests　by　plunder。　　We　all　know　highway　robbers　in　white　neck…cloths；　domestic　bandits；　marauders；　passers　of　bad　coin。　　What　was　yonder　cheque　which　Major　Delamere　proposed　I　should　cash　but　a　piece　of　bad　money？　　What　was　Jack　Thriftless's　promise　to　pay？　　Having　got　his　booty；　I　fancy　Jack　or　the　Major　returning　home；　and　wife　and　children　gathering　round　about　him。　Poor　wife　and　children！　　They　respect　papa　very　likely。　　They　don't　know　he　is　false　coin。　　Maybe　the　wife　has　a　dreadful　inkling　of　the　truth；　and；　sickening；　tries　to　hide　it　from　the　daughters　and　sons。　Maybe　she　is　an　accomplice：　herself　a　brazen　forgery。　　If　Turpin　and　Jack　Sheppard　were　married；　very　likely　Mesdames　Sheppard　and　Turpin　did　not　know；　at　first；　what　their　husbands'　real　profession　was；　and　fancied；　when　the　men　left　home　in　the　morning；　they　only　went　away　to　follow　some　regular　and　honorable　business。　　Then　a　suspicion　of　the　truth　may　have　come：　then　a　dreadful　revelation；　and　presently　we　have　the　guilty　pair　robbing　together；　or　passing　forged　money　each　on　his　own　account。　　You　know　Doctor　Dodd？　　I　wonder　whether　his　wife　knows　that　he　is　a　forger；　and　scoundrel？　Has　she　had　any　of　the　plunder；　think　you；　and　were　the　darling　children's　new　dresses　bought　with　it？　　The　Doctor's　sermon　last　Sunday　was　certainly　charming；　and　we　all　cried。　　Ah；　my　poor　Dodd！　Whilst　he　is　preaching　most　beautifully；　pocket…handkerchief　in　hand；　he　is　peering　over　the　pulpit　cushions；　looking　out　piteously　for　Messrs。　Peachum　and　Lockit　from　the　police…office。　　By　Doctor　Dodd　you　understand　I　would　typify　the　rogue　of　respectable　exterior；　not　committed　to　gaol　yet；　but　not　undiscovered。　　We　all　know　one　or　two　such。　　This　very　sermon　perhaps　will　be　read　by　some；　or　more　likelyfor；　depend　upon　it；　your　solemn　hypocritic　scoundrels　don't　care　much　for　light　literaturemore　likely；　I　say；　this　discourse　will　be　read　by　some　of　their　wives；　who　think；　〃Ah　mercy！　does　that　horrible　cynical　wretch　know　how　my　poor　husband　blacked　my　eye；　or　abstracted　mamma's　silver　teapot；　or　forced　me　to　write　So…and…so's　name　on　that　piece　of　stamped　paper；　or　what　not？〃　My　good　creature；　I　am　not　angry　with　YOU。　　If　your　husband　has　broken　your　nose；　you　will　vow　that　he　had　authority　over　your　person；　and　a　right　to　demolish　any　part　of　it：　if　he　has　conveyed　away　your　mamma's　teapot；　you　will　say　that　she　gave　it　to　him　at　your　marriage；　and　it　was　very　ugly；　and　what　not？　if　he　takes　your　aunt's　watch；　and　you　love　him；　you　will　carry　it　ere　long　to　the　pawnbroker's；　and　perjure　yourselfoh；　how　you　will　perjure　yourselfin　the　witness…box！　　I　know　this　is　a　degrading　view　of　woman's　noble　nature；　her　exalted　mission；　and　so　forth；　and　so　forth。　　I　know　you　will　say　this　is　bad　morality。　　Is　it？　　Do　you；　or　do　you　not；　expect　your　womankind　to　stick　by　you　for　better　or　for　worse？　　Say　I　have　committed　a　forgery；　and　the　officers　come　in　search　of　me；　is　my　wife；　Mrs。　Dodd；　to　show　them　into　the　dining…　room　and　say；　〃Pray　step　in；　gentlemen！　　My　husband　has　just　come　home　from　church。　　That　bill　with　my　Lord　Chesterfield's　acceptance；　I　am　bound　to　own；　was　never　written　by　his　lordship；　and　the　signature　is　in　the　doctor's　handwriting？〃　　I　say；　would　any　man　of　sense　or　honor；　or　fine　feeling；　praise　his　wife　for　telling　the　truth　under　such　circumstances？　　Suppose　she　made　a　fine　grimace；　and　said；　〃Most　painful　as　my　position　is；　most　deeply　as　I　feel　for　my　William；　yet　truth　must　prevail；　and　I　deeply　lament　to　state　that　the　beloved　partner　of　my　life　DID　commit　the　flagitious　act　with　which　he　is　charged；　and　is　at　this　present　moment　located　in　the　two…pair　back；　up　the　chimney；　whither　it　is　my　duty　to　lead　you。〃　　Why；　even　Dodd　himself；　who　was　one　of　the　greatest　humbugs　who　ever　lived；　would　not　have　had　the　face　to　say　that　he　approved　of　his　wife　telling　the　truth　in　such　a　case。　　Would　you　have　had　Flora　Macdonald　beckon　the　officers；　saying；　〃This　way；　gentlemen！　You　will　find　the　young　chevalier　asleep　in　that　cavern。〃　　Or　don't　you　prefer　her　to　be　splendide　mendax；　and　ready　at　all　risks　to　save　him？。　　If　ever　I　lead　a　rebellion；　and　my　women　betray　me；　may　I　be　hanged　but　I　will　not　forgive　them：　and　if　ever　I　steal　a　teapot；　and　MY　women　don't　stand　up　for　me；　pass　the　article　under　their　shawls；　whisk　down　the　street　with　it；　outbluster　the　policeman；　and　utter　any　amount　of　fibs　before　Mr。　Beak；　those　beings　are　not　what　I　take　them　to　be；　andfor　a　fortuneI　won't　give　them　so　much　as　a　bad　hal