the provost-第20部分

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　lost；　for　by…and…by；　I　saw　the　gentleman　confabbing　together；　and　the　next　morning；　through　the　post；　I　received　a　twenty…pound　note　in　a　nameless　letter；　requesting　the　amount　of　it　to　be　placed　against　the　expense　of　the　ball。　　I　was　overly　well　satisfied　with　this　to　say　a　great　deal　of　what　I　thought；　but　I　took　a　quiet　step　to　the　bank；　where；　expressing　some　doubt　of　the　goodness　of　the　note；　I　was　informed　it　was　perfectly　good；　and　had　been　that　very　day　issued　from　the　bank　to　one　of　the　gentlemen；　whom；　even　at　this　day；　it　would　not　be　prudent　to　expose　to　danger　by　naming。

Upon　a　consultation　with　the　other　gentlemen；　who　had　the　management　of　the　ball；　it　was　agreed；　that　we　should　say　nothing　of　the　gift　of　twenty　pounds；　but　distribute　it　in　the　winter　to　needful　families；　which　was　done；　for　we　feared　that　the　authors　of　the　derision　would　be　found　out；　and　that　ill…blood　might　be　bred　in　the　town。



CHAPTER　XXXITHE　BAILIE'S　HEAD



But　although　in　the　main　I　was　considered　by　the　events　and　transactions　already　rehearsed；　a　prudent　and　sagacious　man；　yet　I　was　not　free　from　the　consequences　of　envy。　　To　be　sure；　they　were　not　manifested　in　any　very　intolerant　spirit；　and　in　so　far　they　caused　me　rather　molestation　of　mind　than　actual　suffering；　but　still　they　kithed　in　evil；　and　thereby　marred　the　full　satisfactory　fruition　of　my　labours　and　devices。　　Among　other　of　the　outbreakings　alluded　to　that　not　a　little　vexed　me；　was　one　that　I　will　relate；　and　just　in　order　here　to　show　the　animus　of　men's　minds　towards　me。

We　had　in　the　town　a　clever　lad；　with　a　geni　of　a　mechanical　turn；　who　made　punch…bowls　of　leather；　and　legs　for　cripples　of　the　same　commodity；　that　were　lighter　and　easier　to　wear　than　either　legs　of　cork　or　timber。　　His　name　was　Geordie　Sooplejoint；　a　modest；　douce；　and　well…behaved　young　mancaring　for　little　else　but　the　perfecting　of　his　art。　　I　had　heard　of　his　talent；　and　was　curious　to　converse　with　him；　so　I　spoke　to　Bailie　Pirlet；　who　had　taken　him　by　the　hand；　to　bring　him　and　his　leather　punch…bowl；　and　some　of　his　curious　legs　and　arms；　to　let　me　see　them；　the　which　the　bailie　did；　and　it　happened　that　while　they　were　with　me；　in　came　Mr　Thomas　M'Queerie；　a　dry　neighbour　at　a　joke。

After　some　generality　of　discourse　concerning　the　inventions；　whereon　Bailie　Pirlet；　who　was　naturally　a　gabby　prick…me…dainty　body；　enlarged　at　great　length；　with　all　his　well　dockit　words；　as　if　they　were　on　chandler's　pins；　pointing　out　here　the　utility　of　the　legs　to　persons　maimed　in　the　wars　of　their　country；　and　showing　forth　there　in　what　manner　the　punch…bowls　were　specimens　of　a　new　art　that　might　in　time　supplant　both　China　and　Staffordshire　ware；　and　deducing　therefrom　the　benefits　that　would　come　out　of　it　to　the　country　at　large；　and　especially　to　the　landed　interest；　in　so　much　as　the　increased　demand　which　it　would　cause　for　leather；　would　raise　the　value　of　hides；　and　per　consequence　the　price　of　black　cattleto　all　which　Mr　M'Queerie　listened　with　a　shrewd　and　a　thirsty　ear；　and　when　the　bailie　had　made　an　end　of　his　paternoster；　he　proposed　that　I　should　make　a　filling　of　Geordie's　bowl；　to　try　if　it　did　not　leak。

〃Indeed；　Mr　Pawkie；〃　quo'　he；　〃it　will　be　a　great　credit　to　our　town　to　hae　had　the　merit　o'　producing　sic　a　clever　lad；　who；　as　the　bailie　has　in　a　manner　demonstrated；　is　ordained　to　bring　about　an　augmentation　o'　trade　by　his　punch…bowls；　little　short　of　what　has　been　done　wi'　the　steam…engines。　　Geordie　will　be　to　us　what　James　Watt　is　to　the　ettling　town　of　Greenook；　so　we　can　do　no　less　than　drink　prosperity　to　his　endeavours。〃

I　did　not　much　like　this　bantering　of　Mr　M'Queerie；　for　I　saw　it　made　Geordie's　face　grow　red；　and　it　was　not　what　he　had　deserved；　so　to　repress　it；　and　to　encourage　the　poor　lad；　I　said；　〃Come；　come；　neighbour；　none　of　your　wipeswhat　Geordie　has　done；　is　but　arles　of　what　he　may　do。〃

〃That's　no　to　be　debated；〃　replied　Mr　M'Queerie；　〃for　he　has　shown　already　that　he　can　make　very　good　legs　and　arms；　and　I'm　sure　I　shouldna　be　surprised　were　he　in　time　to　make　heads　as　good　as　a　bailie's。〃

I　never　saw　any　mortal　man　look　as　that　pernickity　personage；　the　bailie；　did　at　this　joke；　but　I　suppressed　my　own　feelings；　while　the　bailie；　like　a　bantam　cock　in　a　passion；　stotted　out　of　his　chair　with　the　spunk　of　a　birslet　pea；　demanding　of　Mr　M'Queerie　an　explanation　of　what　he　meant　by　the　insinuation。　　It　was　with　great　difficulty　that　I　got　him　pacified；　but　unfortunately　the　joke　was　oure　good　to　be　forgotten；　and　when　it　was　afterwards　spread　abroad；　as　it　happened　to　take　its　birth　in　my　house；　it　was　laid　to　my　charge；　and　many　a　time　was　I　obligated　to　tell　all　about　it；　and　how　it　couldna　be　meant　for　me；　but　had　been　incurred　by　Bailie　Pirlet's　conceit　of　spinning　out　long　perjink　speeches。



CHAPTER　XXXIITHE　TOWN　DRUMMER



Nor　did　I　get　every　thing　my　own　way；　for　I　was　often　thwarted　in　matters　of　small　account；　and　suffered　from　them　greater　disturbance　and　molestation　than　things　of　such　little　moment　ought　to　have　been　allowed　to　produce　within　me；　and　I　do　not　think　that　any　thing　happened　in　the　whole　course　of　my　public　life；　which　gave　me　more　vexation　than　what　I　felt　in　the　last　week　of　my　second　provostry。

For　many　a　year；　one　Robin　Boss　had　been　town　drummer；　he　was　a　relic　of　some　American…war　fencibles；　and　was；　to　say　the　God's　truth　of　him；　a　divor　body；　with　no　manner　of　conduct；　saving　a　very　earnest　endeavour　to　fill　himself　fou　as　often　as　he　could　get　the　means；　the　consequence　of　which　was；　that　his　face　was　as　plooky　as　a　curran'　bun；　and　his　nose　as　red　as　a　partan's　tae。

One　afternoon　there　was　a　need　to　send　out　a　proclamation　to　abolish　a　practice　that　was　growing　into　a　custom；　in　some　of　the　bye　parts　of　the　town；　of　keeping　swine　at　largeordering　them　to　be　confined　in　proper　styes；　and　other　suitable　places。　　As　on　all　occasions　when　the　matter　to　be　proclaimed　was　from　the　magistrates；　Thomas；　on　this；　was　attended　by　the　town…officers　in　their　Sunday　garbs；　and　with　their　halberts　in　their　hands；　but　the　abominable　and　irreverent　creature　was　so　drunk；　that　he　wamblet　to　and　fro　over　the　drum；　as　if　there　had　not　been　a　bane　in　his　body。　　He　was　seemingly　as　soople　and　as　senseless　as　a　bolster。Still；　as　this　was　no　new　thing　with　him；　it　might　have　passed；　for　James　Hound；　the　senior　officer；　was　in　the　practice；　when　Robin　was　in　that　state；　of　reading　the　proclamations　himself。On　this　occasion；　however；　James　happened　to　be　absent　on　some　hue　and　cry　quest；　and　another　of　the　officers　（I　forget　which）　was　appointed　to　perform　for　him。　　Robin；　accustomed　to　James；　no　sooner　heard　the　other　man　begin　to　read；　than　he　began　to　curse　and　swear　at　him　as　an　incapable　nincompoopan　impertinent　term　that　he　was　much　addicted　to。　　The　grammar　school　was　at　the　time　skailing；　and　the　boys　seeing　the　stramash；　gathered　round　the　officer；　and　yelling　and　shouting；　encouraged　Robin　more　and　more　into　rebellion；　till　at　last　they　worked　up　his　corruption　to　such　a　pitch；　that　he　took　the　drum　from　about　his　neck；　and　made　it　fly　like　a　bombshell　at　the　officer's　head。

The　officers　behaved　very　well；　for　they　dragged　Robin　by　the　lug　and　the　horn　to　the　tolbooth；　and　then　came　with　their　complaint　to　me。　　Seeing　how　the　authorities　had　been　set　at　nought；　and　the　necessity　there　was　of　making　an　example；　I　forthwith　ordered　Robin　to　be　cashiered　from　the　service　of　the　town；　and　as　so　important　a　concern　as　a　proclamation　ought　not　to　be　delayed；　I　likewise；　upon　the　spot；　ordered　the　officers　to　take　a　lad　that　had　been　also　a　drummer　in　a　marching　regiment；　and　go　with　him　to　make　the　proclamation。

Nothing　could　be　done　in　a　more　earnest　and　zealous　public　spirit　than　this　was　done　by　me。　　But　habit　had　begot　in　the　town　a　partiality　for　the　drunken　ne'er…do…well；　Robin；　and　this　just　act　of　mine　was　immediately　condemned　as　a　daring　stretch　of　arbitrary　power；　and　the　consequence　was；　that　when　the　council　met　next　day；　some　sharp　words　flew　from　among　us；　as　to　my　usurping　an　undue　authority；　and　the　thank　I　got　for　my　pains　was　the　mortification　to　see　the　worthless　body　restored　to　full　power　and　dignity；　with　no　other　reward　than　an　admonition　to　behave　better　for　the　future。　Now；　I　leave　it　to　the　unbiassed　judgment　of　posterity　to　determine　if　any　public　man　could　be　more　ungraciously　treated　by　his　colleagues　than　I　was　on　this　occasion。　　But；　verily；　　the　council　had　their　reward。



CHAPTER　XXXIIIAN　ALARM



The　divor；　Robin　Boss；　being；　as　I　have　recorded；　reinstated　in　office；　soon　began　to　play　his　old　tricks。　　In　the　course　of　the　week　after　the　Michaelmas　term　at　which　my　second　provostry　ended；　he　was　so　insupportably　drunk　that　he　fell　head　foremost　into　his　drum；　which　cost　the　town　five…and…twenty　shillings　for　a　new　one　an　accident　that　was　not　without　some　satisfaction　to　me；　and　I　trow　I　was　not　sparing　in　my　derisive　commendations　on　the　worth　of　such　a　public　officer。　　Nevertheless；　he　was　still　kept　on；　some　befriending　him　for　compassion；　and　others　as　it　were　to　spite　me。

But　Robin's　good　behaviour　did　not　end　with　breaking　the　drum；　and　costing　a　new　one。In　the　course　of　the　winter　it　was　his　custom　to　beat；　〃Go　to　bed；　Tom；〃　about　ten　o'clock　at　night；　and　the　reveille　at　five　in　the　morning。In　one　of　his　drunken　fits　he　made　a　mistake；　and　instead　of　going　his　rounds　as　usual　at　ten　o'clock；　he　had　fallen　asleep　in　a　change　house；　and　waking　about　the　midnight　hour　in　the　terror　of　some　whisky　dream；　he　seized　his　drum；　and　running　into　the　streets；　began　to　strike　the　fire…beat　in　the　most　awful　manner。

It　was　a　fine　clear　frosty　moonlight；　and　the　hollow　sound　of　the　drum　resounded　through　the　silent　streets　like　thunder。In　a　moment　every　body　was　a…foot；　and　the　cry　of　〃Whar　is't？　whar's　the　fire？〃　was　heard　echoing　from　all　sides。Robin；　quite　unconscious　that　he　alone　was　the　cause　of　the　alarm；　still　went　along　beating　the　dreadful　summons。　　I　heard　the　noise　and　rose；　but　while　I　was　drawing　on　my　stockings；　in　the　chair　at　the　bed…head；　and　telling　Mrs　Pawkie　to　compose　herself；　for　our　houses　were　all　insured；　I　suddenly　recollected　that