winesburg,ohio-第22部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


of　a　woman　smoking　and　trembled　also　to　think　that　his　eyes；　just　raised　from　the　pages　of　the　book　of　God；　had　looked　upon　the　bare　shoulders　and　white　throat　of　a　woman。　　With　his　brain　in　a　whirl　he　went　down　into　the　pulpit　and　preached　a　long　sermon　without　once　thinking　of　his　gestures　or　his　voice。　　The　sermon　attracted　unusual　attention　because　of　its　power　and　clearness。　　〃I　wonder　if　she　is　listening；　if　my　voice　is　carrying　a　message　into　her　soul；〃　he　thought　and　began　to　hope　that　on　future　Sunday　mornings　he　might　be　able　to　say　words　that　would　touch　and　awaken　the　woman　apparently　far　gone　in　secret　sin。

The　house　next　door　to　the　Presbyterian　Church；　through　the　windows　of　which　the　minister　had　seen　the　sight　that　had　so　upset　him；　was　occupied　by　two　women。　　Aunt　Elizabeth　Swift；　a　grey　competent…　looking　widow　with　money　in　the　Winesburg　Na…　tional　Bank；　lived　there　with　her　daughter　Kate　Swift；　a　school　teacher。　　The　school　teacher　was　thirty　years　old　and　had　a　neat　trim…looking　figure。　She　had　few　friends　and　bore　a　reputation　of　having　a　sharp　tongue。　　When　he　began　to　think　about　her；　Curtis　Hartman　remembered　that　she　had　been　to　Europe　and　had　lived　for　two　years　in　New　York　City。　　〃Perhaps　after　all　her　smoking　means　noth…　ing；〃　he　thought。　　He　began　to　remember　that　when　he　was　a　student　in　college　and　occasionally　read　novels；　good　although　somewhat　worldly　women；　had　smoked　through　the　pages　of　a　book　that　had　once　fallen　into　his　hands。　　With　a　rush　of　new　deter…　mination　he　worked　on　his　sermons　all　through　the　week　and　forgot；　in　his　zeal　to　reach　the　ears　and　the　soul　of　this　new　listener；　both　his　embarrassment　in　the　pulpit　and　the　necessity　of　prayer　in　the　study　on　Sunday　mornings。

Reverend　Hartman's　experience　with　women　had　been　somewhat　limited。　　He　was　the　son　of　a　wagon　maker　from　Muncie；　Indiana；　and　had　worked　his　way　through　college。　　The　daughter　of　the　under…　wear　manufacturer　had　boarded　in　a　house　where　he　lived　during　his　school　days　and　he　had　married　her　after　a　formal　and　prolonged　courtship；　carried　on　for　the　most　part　by　the　girl　herself。　　On　his　mar…　riage　day　the　underwear　manufacturer　had　given　his　daughter　five　thousand　dollars　and　he　promised　to　leave　her　at　least　twice　that　amount　in　his　will。　　The　minister　had　thought　himself　fortunate　in　marriage　and　had　never　permitted　himself　to　think　of　other　women。　　He　did　not　want　to　think　of　other　women。　What　he　wanted　was　to　do　the　work　of　God　quietly　and　earnestly。

In　the　soul　of　the　minister　a　struggle　awoke。　　From　wanting　to　reach　the　ears　of　Kate　Swift；　and　through　his　sermons　to　delve　into　her　soul；　he　began　to　want　also　to　look　again　at　the　figure　lying　white　and　quiet　in　the　bed。　　On　a　Sunday　morning　when　he　could　not　sleep　because　of　his　thoughts　he　arose　and　went　to　walk　in　the　streets。　　When　he　had　gone　along　Main　Street　almost　to　the　old　Richmond　place　he　stopped　and　picking　up　a　stone　rushed　off　to　the　room　in　the　bell　tower。　　With　the　stone　he　broke　out　a　corner　of　the　window　and　then　locked　the　door　and　sat　down　at　the　desk　before　the　open　Bible　to　wait。　　When　the　shade　of　the　window　to　Kate　Swift's　room　was　raised　he　could　see；　through　the　hole；　directly　into　her　bed；　but　she　was　not　there。　　She　also　had　arisen　and　had　gone　for　a　walk　and　the　hand　that　raised　the　shade　was　the　hand　of　Aunt　Elizabeth　Swift。

The　minister　almost　wept　with　joy　at　this　deliver…　ance　from　the　carnal　desire　to　〃peep〃　and　went　back　to　his　own　house　praising　God。　　In　an　ill　moment　he　forgot；　however；　to　stop　the　hole　in　the　window。　The　piece　of　glass　broken　out　at　the　corner　of　the　window　just　nipped　off　the　bare　heel　of　the　boy　standing　motionless　and　looking　with　rapt　eyes　into　the　face　of　the　Christ。

Curtis　Hartman　forgot　his　sermon　on　that　Sunday　morning。　　He　talked　to　his　congregation　and　in　his　talk　said　that　it　was　a　mistake　for　people　to　think　of　their　minister　as　a　man　set　aside　and　intended　by　nature　to　lead　a　blameless　life。　　〃Out　of　my　own　experience　I　know　that　we；　who　are　the　ministers　of　God's　word；　are　beset　by　the　same　temptations　that　assail　you；〃　he　declared。　　〃I　have　been　tempted　and　have　surrendered　to　temptation。　　It　is　only　the　hand　of　God；　placed　beneath　my　head；　that　has　raised　me　up。　As　he　has　raised　me　so　also　will　he　raise　you。　Do　not　despair。　　In　your　hour　of　sin　raise　your　eyes　to　the　skies　and　you　will　be　again　and　again　saved。〃

Resolutely　the　minister　put　the　thoughts　of　the　woman　in　the　bed　out　of　his　mind　and　began　to　be　something　like　a　lover　in　the　presence　of　his　wife。　One　evening　when　they　drove　out　together　he　turned　the　horse　out　of　Buckeye　Street　and　in　the　darkness　on　Gospel　Hill；　above　Waterworks　Pond；　put　his　arm　about　Sarah　Hartman's　waist。　　When　he　had　eaten　breakfast　in　the　morning　and　was　ready　to　retire　to　his　study　at　the　back　of　his　house　he　went　around　the　table　and　kissed　his　wife　on　the　cheek。　　When　thoughts　of　Kate　Swift　came　into　his　head；　he　smiled　and　raised　his　eyes　to　the　skies。　〃Intercede　for　me；　Master；〃　he　muttered；　〃keep　me　in　the　narrow　path　intent　on　Thy　work。〃

And　now　began　the　real　struggle　in　the　soul　of　the　brown…bearded　minister。　　By　chance　he　discov…　ered　that　Kate　Swift　was　in　the　habit　of　lying　in　her　bed　in　the　evenings　and　reading　a　book。　　A　lamp　stood　on　a　table　by　the　side　of　the　bed　and　the　light　streamed　down　upon　her　white　shoulders　and　bare　throat。　　On　the　evening　when　he　made　the　discovery　the　minister　sat　at　the　desk　in　the　dusty　room　from　nine　until　after　eleven　and　when　her　light　was　put　out　stumbled　out　of　the　church　to　spend　two　more　hours　walking　and　praying　in　the　streets。　　He　did　not　want　to　kiss　the　shoulders　and　the　throat　of　Kate　Swift　and　had　not　allowed　his　mind　to　dwell　on　such　thoughts。　　He　did　not　know　what　he　wanted。　〃I　am　God's　child　and　he　must　save　me　from　my…　self；〃　he　cried；　in　the　darkness　under　the　trees　as　he　wandered　in　the　streets。　　By　a　tree　he　stood　and　looked　at　the　sky　that　was　covered　with　hurrying　clouds。　　He　began　to　talk　to　God　intimately　and　closely。　　〃Please；　Father；　do　not　forget　me。　　Give　me　power　to　go　tomorrow　and　repair　the　hole　in　the　window。　　Lift　my　eyes　again　to　the　skies。　　Stay　with　me；　Thy　servant；　in　his　hour　of　need。〃

Up　and　down　through　the　silent　streets　walked　the　minister　and　for　days　and　weeks　his　soul　was　troubled。　　He　could　not　understand　the　temptation　that　had　come　to　him　nor　could　he　fathom　the　rea…　son　for　its　coming。　　In　a　way　he　began　to　blame　God；　saying　to　himself　that　he　had　tried　to　keep　his　feet　in　the　true　path　and　had　not　run　about　seeking　sin。　〃Through　my　days　as　a　young　man　and　all　through　my　life　here　I　have　gone　quietly　about　my　work；〃　he　declared。　　〃Why　now　should　I　be　tempted？　What　have　I　done　that　this　burden　should　be　laid　on　me？〃

Three　times　during　the　early　fall　and　winter　of　that　year　Curtis　Hartman　crept　out　of　his　house　to　the　room　in　the　bell　tower　to　sit　in　the　darkness　looking　at　the　figure　of　Kate　Swift　lying　in　her　bed　and　later　went　to　walk　and　pray　in　the　streets。　　He　could　not　understand　himself。　　For　weeks　he　would　go　along　scarcely　thinking　of　the　school　teacher　and　telling　himself　that　he　had　conquered　the　carnal　de…　sire　to　look　at　her　body。　　And　then　something　would　happen。　　As　he　sat　in　the　study　of　his　own　house；　hard　at　work　on　a　sermon；　he　would　become　ner…　vous　and　begin　to　walk　up　and　down　the　room。　　〃I　will　go　out　into　the　streets；〃　he　told　himself　and　even　as　he　let　himself　in　at　the　church　door　he　per…　sistently　denied　to　himself　the　cause　of　his　being　there。　　〃I　will　not　repair　the　hole　in　the　window　and　I　will　train　myself　to　come　here　at　night　and　sit　in　the　presence　of　this　woman　without　raising　my　eyes。　I　will　not　be　defeated　in　this　thing。　　The　Lord　has　devised　this　temptation　as　a　test　of　my　soul　and　I　will　grope　my　way　out　of　darkness　into　the　light　of　righteousness。〃

One　night　in　January　when　it　was　bitter　cold　and　snow　lay　deep　on　the　streets　of　Winesburg　Curtis　Hartman　paid　his　last　visit　to　the　room　in　the　bell　tower　of　the　church。　　It　was　past　nine　o'clock　when　he　left　his　own　house　and　he　set　out　so　hurriedly　that　he　forgot　to　put　on　his　overshoes。　　In　Main　Street　no　one　was　abroad　but　Hop　Higgins　the　night　watchman　and　in　the　whole　town　no　one　was　awake　but　the　watchman　and　young　George　Willard；　who　sat　in　the　office　of　the　Winesburg　Eagle　trying　to　write　a　story。　　Along　the　street　to　the　church　went　the　minister；　plowing　through　the　drifts　and　thinking　that　this　time　he　would　utterly　give　way　to　sin。　　〃I　want　to　look　at　the　woman　and　to　think　of　kissing　her　shoulders　and　I　am　going　to　let　myself　think　what　I　choose；〃　he　declared　bitterly　and　tears　came　into　his　eyes。　　He　began　to　think　that　he　would　get　out　of　the　ministry　and　try　some　other　way　of　life。　〃I　shall　go　to　some　city　and　get　into　business；〃　he　declared。　　〃If　my　nature　is　such　that　I　cannot　resist　sin；　I　shall　give　myself　over　to　sin。　　At　least　I　shall　not　be　a　hypocrite；　preaching　the　word　of　God　with　my　mind　thinking　of　the　shoulders　and　neck　of　a　woman　who　does　not　belong　to　me。〃

It　was　cold　in　the　room　of　the　bell　tower　of　the　church　on　that　January　night　and　almost　as　soon　as　he　came　into　the　room　Curtis　Hartman　knew　that　if　he　stayed　he　would　be　ill。　　His　feet　were　wet　from　tramping　in　the　snow　and　there　was　no　fire。　　In　the　room　in　the　house　next　door　Kate　Swift　had　not　yet　appeared。　　With　grim　determination　the　man　sat　down　to　wait。　　Sitting　in　the　chair　and　gripping　the　edge　of　the　desk　on　which　lay　the　Bible　he　stared　into　the　darkness　thinking　the　blackest　thoughts　of　his　life。　　He　thought　of　his　wife　and　for　the　moment　almost　hated　her。　　〃She　has　always　been　ashamed　of　passion　and　has　cheated　me；〃　he　thought。　　〃Man　has　a　right　to　expect　living　passion　and　beauty　in　a　woman。　　He　has　no　right　to　forget　that　he　is　an　ani…　mal　and　in　me　there　is　something　that　is　Greek。　　I　will　throw　off　the　woman　of　my　bosom　and　seek　other　women。　　I　will　besiege　this　school　teacher。　　I　will　fly　in　the　face　of　all　men　and　if　I　am　a　creature　of　carnal　lusts　I　will　live　then　for　my　lusts。〃

The　distracted　man　trembled　from　head　to　foot；　partly　from　cold；　partly　from　the　struggle　in　which　he　was　engaged。　　Hours　passed　and　a　fever　assailed　his　body。　　His　throat　bega