vanity fair(名利场)-第158部分

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to　him　about　India　and　the　dancing…girls　there；　asked
Amelia　about　that　beautiful　boy　who　had　been　with　her；
and　complimented　the　astonished　little　woman　upon　the
prodigious　sensation　which　she　had　made　in　the　house；
and　tried　to　fascinate　Dobbin　by　talking　of　the　late　war
and　the　exploits　of　the　Pumpernickel　contingent　under　the
command　of　the　Hereditary　Prince；　now　Duke　of
Pumpernickel。
Lord　Tapeworm　inherited　no　little　portion　of　the　family
gallantry；　and　it　was　his　happy　belief　that　almost　every
woman　upon　whom　he　himself　cast　friendly　eyes　was　in
love　with　him。　　He　left　Emmy　under　the　persuasion　that
she　was　slain　by　his　wit　and　attractions　and　went　home　to
his　lodgings　to　write　a　pretty　little　note　to　her。　　She　was
not　fascinated；　only　puzzled；　by　his　grinning；　his　simpering；
his　scented　cambric　handkerchief；　and　his　high…heeled
lacquered　boots。　　She　did　not　understand　one…half　the
compliments　which　he　paid；　she　had　never；　in　her　small
experience　of　mankind；　met　a　professional　ladies'　man　as
yet；　and　looked　upon　my　lord　as　something　curious　rather
than　pleasant；　and　if　she　did　not　admire；　certainly
wondered　at　him。　　Jos；　on　the　contrary；　was　delighted。　　〃How
very　affable　his　Lordship　is；〃　he　said；　〃How　very　kind　of
his　Lordship　to　say　he　would　send　his　medical　man！
Kirsch；　you　will　carry　our　cards　to　the　Count　de
Schlusselback　directly；　the　Major　and　I　will　have　the
greatest　pleasure　in　paying　our　respects　at　Court　as　soon
as　possible。　　Put　out　my　uniform；　Kirschboth　our
uniforms。　　It　is　a　mark　of　politeness　which　every　English
gentleman　ought　to　show　to　the　countries　which　he　visits
to　pay　his　respects　to　the　sovereigns　of　those　countries
as　to　the　representatives　of　his　own。〃
When　Tapeworm's　doctor　came；　Doctor　von　Glauber；
Body　Physician　to　H。S。H。　　the　Duke；　he　speedily
convinced　Jos　that　the　Pumpernickel　mineral　springs　and
the　Doctor's　particular　treatment　would　infallibly　restore
the　Bengalee　to　youth　and　slimness。　　〃Dere　came　here　last
year；〃　he　said；　〃Sheneral　Bulkeley；　an　English　Sheneral；
tvice　so　pic　as　you；　sir。　　I　sent　him　back　qvite　tin　after
tree　months；　and　he　danced　vid　Baroness　Glauber　at
the　end　of　two。〃
Jos's　mind　was　made　up；　the　springs；　the　Doctor；　the
Court；　and　the　Charge　d'Affaires　convinced　him；　and　he
proposed　to　spend　the　autumn　in　these　delightful
quarters。　　And　punctual　to　his　word；　on　the　next　day　the
Charge　d'Affaires　presented　Jos　and　the　Major　to　Victor
Aurelius　XVII；　being　conducted　to　their　audience　with
that　sovereign　by　the　Count　de　Schlusselback；　Marshal
of　the　Court。
They　were　straightway　invited　to　dinner　at　Court；　and
their　intention　of　staying　in　the　town　being　announced；
the　politest　ladies　of　the　whole　town　instantly　called　upon
Mrs。　Osborne；　and　as　not　one　of　these；　however　poor
they　might　be；　was　under　the　rank　of　a　Baroness；　Jos's
delight　was　beyond　expression。　　He　wrote　off　to　Chutney
at　the　Club　to　say　that　the　Service　was　highly　appreciated
in　Germany；　that　he　was　going　to　show　his　friend；　the
Count　de　Schlusselback；　how　to　stick　a　pig　in　the　Indian
fashion；　and　that　his　august　friends；　the　Duke　and
Duchess；　were　everything　that　was　kind　and　civil。
Emmy；　too；　was　presented　to　the　august　family；　and　as
mourning　is　not　admitted　in　Court　on　certain　days；　she
appeared　in　a　pink　crape　dress　with　a　diamond　ornament
in　the　corsage；　presented　to　her　by　her　brother；　and
she　looked　so　pretty　in　this　costume　that　the　Duke　and
Court　（putting　out　of　the　question　the　Major；　who　had
scarcely　ever　seen　her　before　in　an　evening　dress；　and
vowed　that　she　did　not　look　five…and…twenty）　all　admired
her　excessively。
In　this　dress　she　walked　a　Polonaise　with　Major　Dobbin
at　a　Court　ball；　in　which　easy　dance　Mr。　Jos　had　the
honour　of　leading　out　the　Countess　of　Schlusselback；
an　old　lady　with　a　hump　back；　but　with　sixteen　good
quarters　of　nobility　and　related　to　half　the　royal　houses
of　Germany。
Pumpernickel　stands　in　the　midst　of　a　happy　valley
through　which　sparklesto　mingle　with　the　Rhine
somewhere；　but　I　have　not　the　map　at　hand　to　say　exactly　at
what　pointthe　fertilizing　stream　of　the　Pump。　　In　some
places　the　river　is　big　enough　to　support　a　ferry…boat；　in
others　to　turn　a　mill；　in　Pumpernickel　itself；　the　last
Transparency　but　three；　the　great　and　renowned　Victor
Aurelius　XIV　built　a　magnificent　bridge；　on　which　his
own　statue　rises；　surrounded　by　water…nymphs　and
emblems　of　victory；　peace；　and　plenty；　he　has　his　foot　on　the
neck　of　a　prostrate　Turkhistory　says　he　engaged　and
ran　a　Janissary　through　the　body　at　the　relief　of　Vienna
by　Sobieskibut；　quite　undisturbed　by　the　agonies
of　that　prostrate　Mahometan；　who　writhes　at　his　feet　in
the　most　ghastly　manner；　the　Prince　smiles　blandly　and
points　with　his　truncheon　in　the　direction　of　the　Aurelius
Platz；　where　he　began　to　erect　a　new　palace　that　would
have　been　the　wonder　of　his　age　had　the　great…souled
Prince　but　had　funds　to　complete　it。　　But　the　completion
of　Monplaisir　（Monblaisir　the　honest　German　folks　call
it）　was　stopped　for　lack　of　ready　money；　and　it　and　its
park　and　garden　are　now　in　rather　a　faded　condition；
and　not　more　than　ten　times　big　enough　to　accommodate
the　Court　of　the　reigning　Sovereign。
The　gardens　were　arranged　to　emulate　those　of
Versailles；　and　amidst　the　terraces　and　groves　there　are
some　huge　allegorical　waterworks　still；　which　spout　and
froth　stupendously　upon　fete…days；　and　frighten　one
with　their　enormous　aquatic　insurrections。　　There　is　the
Trophonius'　cave　in　which；　by　some　artifice；　the　leaden
Tritons　are　made　not　only　to　spout　water；　but　to　play
the　most　dreadful　groans　out　of　their　lead　conchsthere
is　the　nymphbath　and　the　Niagara　cataract；　which　the
people　of　the　neighbourhood　admire　beyond　expression；
when　they　come　to　the　yearly　fair　at　the　opening　of　the
Chamber；　or　to　the　fetes　with　which　the　happy　little　nation
still　celebrates　the　birthdays　and　marriage…days　of　its
princely　governors。
Then　from　all　the　towns　of　the　Duchy；　which　stretches
for　nearly　ten　milefrom　Bolkum；　which　lies　on
its　western　frontier　bidding　defiance　to　Prussia；　from
Grogwitz；　where　the　Prince　has　a　hunting…lodge；　and
where　his　dominions　are　separated　by　the　Pump　River
from　those　of　the　neighbouring　Prince　of　Potzenthal；　from
all　the　little　villages；　which　besides　these　three　great
cities；　dot　over　the　happy　principalityfrom　the　farms
and　the　mills　along　the　Pump　come　troops　of　people　in
red　petticoats　and　velvet　head…dresses；　or　with　three…
cornered　hats　and　pipes　in　their　mouths；　who　flock　to　the
Residenz　and　share　in　the　pleasures　of　the　fair　and　the
festivities　there。　　Then　the　theatre　is　open　for　nothing；
then　the　waters　of　Monblaisir　begin　to　play　（it　is　lucky
that　there　is　company　to　behold　them；　for　one　would　be
afraid　to　see　them　alone）then　there　come　mountebanks
and　riding　troops　（the　way　in　which　his　Transparency
was　fascinated　by　one　of　the　horse…riders　is　well　known；
and　it　is　believed　that　La　Petite　Vivandiere；　as　she　was
called；　was　a　spy　in　the　French　interest）；　and　the　delighted
people　are　permitted　to　march　through　room　after　room
of　the　Grand　Ducal　palace　and　admire　the　slippery
floor；　the　rich　hangings；　and　the　spittoons　at　the
doors　of　all　the　innumerable　chambers。　　There　is　one
Pavilion　at　Monblaisir　which　Aurelius　Victor　XV　had
arrangeda　great　Prince　but　too　fond　of　pleasureand
which　I　am　told　is　a　perfect　wonder　of　licentious　elegance。
It　is　painted　with　the　story　of　Bacchus　and　Ariadne；　and
the　table　works　in　and　out　of　the　room　by　means　of　a
windlass；　so　that　the　company　was　served　without　any
intervention　of　domestics。　　But　the　place　was　shut　up　by
Barbara；　Aurelius　XV's　widow；　a　severe　and　devout
Princess　of　the　House　of　Bolkum　and　Regent　of　the　Duchy
during　her　son's　glorious　minority；　and　after　the　death
of　her　husband；　cut　off　in　the　pride　of　his　pleasures。
The　theatre　of　Pumpernickel　is　known　and　famous　in
that　quarter　of　Germany。　　It　languished　a　little　when　the
present　Duke　in　his　youth　insisted　upon　having　his　own
operas　played　there；　and　it　is　said　one　day；　in　a　fury；
from　his　place　in　the　orchestra；　when　he　attended　a
rehearsal；　broke　a　bassoon　on　the　head　of　the　Chapel
Master；　who　was　conducting；　and　led　too　slow；　and　during
which　time　the　Duchess　Sophia　wrote　domestic　comedies；
which　must　have　been　very　dreary　to　witness。　　But　the
Prince　executes　his　music　in　private　now；　and　the　Duchess
only　gives　away　her　plays　to　the　foreigners　of　distinction
who　visit　her　kind　little　Court。
It　is　conducted　with　no　small　comfort　and　splendour。
When　there　are　balls；　though　there　may　be　four
hundred　people　at　supper；　there　is　a　servant　in　scarlet　and
lace　to　attend　upon　every　four；　and　every　one　is　served
on　silver。　　There　are　festivals　and　entertainments　going
continually　on；　and　the　Duke　has　his　chamberlains　and
equerries；　and　the　Duchess　her　mistress　of　the　wardrobe
and　ladies　of　honour；　just　like　any　other　and　more
potent　potentates。
The　Constitution　is　or　was　a　moderate　despotism；
tempered　by　a　Chamber　that　might　or　might　not　be
elected。　　I　never　certainly　could　hear　of　its　sitting　in　my　time
at　Pumpernickel。　　The　Prime　Minister　had　lodgings　in　a
second　floor；　and　the　Foreign　Secretary　occupied　the
comfortable　lodgings　over　Zwieback's　Conditorey。　　The
army　consisted　of　a　magnificent　band　that　also　did　duty
on　the　stage；　where　it　was　quite　pleasant　to　see　the
worthy　fellows　marching　in　Turkish　dresses　with　rouge　on
and　wooden　scimitars；　or　as　Roman　warriors　with
ophicleides　and　trombonesto　see　them　again；　I　say；　at
night；　after　one　had　listened　to　them　all　the　morning　in
the　Aurelius　Platz；　where　they　performed　opposite　the
cafe　where　we　breakfasted。　　Besides　the　band；　there　was
a　rich　and　numerous　staff　of　officers；　and；　I　believe；　a
few　men。　　Besides　the　regular　sentries；　three　or　four　men；
habited　as　hussars；　used　to　do　duty　at　the　Palace；　but　I
never　saw　them　on　horseback；　and　au　fait；　what　was　the
use　of　cavalry　in　a　time　of　profound　peace？and　whither
the　deuce　should　the　hussars　ride？
Everybodyeverybody　that　was　noble　of　course；　for
as　for　the　bourgeois　we　could　not　quite　be　expected　to
take　notice　of　THEMvisited　his　neig