the pit-第21部分

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Not　a　little　embarrassed；　Laura　was　at　a　loss　just　what　to　say；　and　in　the　end　remarked　lamely　enough：

〃I　am　sure　it　is　the　right　spiritthe　best　motto。〃

〃Miss　Dearborn；〃　Jadwin　began　again　suddenly；　〃why　don't　you　take　a　class　down　there。　　The　little　micks　aren't　so　dreadful　when　you　get　to　know　them。〃

〃I！〃　exclaimed　Laura；　rather　blankly。　　She　shook　her　head。　　〃Oh；　no；　Mr。　Jadwin。　　I　should　be　only　an　encumbrance。　　Don't　misunderstand　me。　　I　approve　of　the　work　with　all　my　heart；　but　I　am　not　fittedI　feel　no　call。　　I　should　be　so　inapt　that　I　know　I　should　do　no　good。　　My　training　has　been　so　different；　you　know；〃　she　said；　smiling。　　〃I　am　an　Episcopalian'of　the　straightest　sect　of　the　Pharisees。'　I　should　be　teaching　your　little　micks　all　about　the　meaning　of　candles；　and　'Eastings；'　and　the　absolution　and　remission　of　sins。〃

〃I　wouldn't　care　if　you　did；〃　he　answered。　　〃It's　the　indirect　influence　I'm　thinking　ofthe　indirect　influence　that　a　beautiful；　pure…hearted；　noble…minded　woman　spreads　around　her　wherever　she　goes。　　I　know　what　it　has　done　for　me。　　And　I　know　that　not　only　my　little　micks；　but　every　teacher　and　every　superintendent　in　that　school　would　be　inspired；　and　stimulated；　and　born　again　so　soon　as　ever　you　set　foot　in　the　building。　　Men　need　good　women；　Miss　Dearborn。　Men　who　are　doing　the　work　of　the　world。　　I　believe　in　women　as　I　believe　in　Christ。　　But　I　don't　believe　they　were　madeany　more　than　Christ　wasto　cultivate　beyond　a　certain　pointtheir　own　souls；　and　refine　their　own　minds；　and　live　in　a　sort　of　warmed…over；　dilettante；　stained…glass　world　of　seclusion　and　exclusion。　　No；　sir；　that　won't　do　for　the　United　States　and　the　men　who　are　making　them　the　greatest　nation　of　the　world。　　The　men　have　got　all　the　get…up…　and…get　they　want；　but　they　need　the　women　to　point　them　straight；　and　to　show　them　how　to　lead　that　other　kind　of　life　that　isn't　all　grind。　　Since　I've　known　you；　Miss　Dearborn；　I've　just　begun　to　wake　up　to　the　fact　that　there　_is_　that　other　kind；　but　I　can't　lead　that　life　without　you。　　There's　_no_　kind　of　life　that's　worth　anything　to　me　now　that　don't　include　you。　I　don't　need　to　tell　you　that　I　want　you　to　marry　me。　You　know　that　by　now；　I　guess；　without　any　words　from　me。　　I　love　you；　and　I　love　you　as　a　man；　not　as　a　boy；　seriously　and　earnestly。　　I　can　give　you　no　idea　_how_　seriously；　_how_　earnestly。　　I　want　you　to　be　my　wife。　Laura；　my　dear　girl；　I　_know_　I　could　make　you　happy。〃

〃It　isn't；〃　answered　Laura　slowly；　perceiving　as　he　paused　that　he　expected　her　to　say　something；〃　much　a　question　of　that。〃

〃What　is　it；　then？　　I　won't　make　a　scene。　　Don't　you　love　me？　　Don't　you　think；　my　girl；　you　could　ever　love　me？〃

Laura　hesitated　a　long　moment。　　She　had　taken　the　rose　from　her　shoulder；　and　plucking　the　petals　one　by　one；　put　them　delicately　between　her　teeth。　　From　the　other　end　of　the　room　came　the　clamorous　exhortations　of　Monsieur　Gerardy。　　Mrs。　Cressler　and　the　Gretry　girl　watched　the　progress　of　the　rehearsal　attentively　from　the　doorway　of　the　dining…room。　　Aunt　Wess'　and　Mr。　Cressler　were　discussing　psychic　research　and　seances；　on　the　sofa　on　the　other　side　of　the　room。　　After　a　while　Laura　spoke。

〃It　isn't　that　either；〃　she　said；　choosing　her　words　carefully。

〃What　is　it；　then？〃

〃I　don't　knowexactly。　　For　one　thing；　I　don't　think　I　_want_　to　be　married；　Mr。　Jadwinto　anybody。〃

〃I　would　wait　for　you。〃

〃Or　to　be　engaged。〃

〃But　the　day　must　come；　sooner　or　later；　when　you　must　be　both　engaged　and　married。　　You　_must_　ask　yourself　_some　time_　if　you　love　the　man　who　wishes　to　be　your　husband。　　Why　not　ask　yourself　now？〃

〃I　do；〃　she　answered。　　〃I　do　ask　myself。　　I　have　asked　myself。〃

〃Well；　what　do　you　decide？〃

〃That　I　don't　know。〃

〃Don't　you　think　you　would　love　me　in　time？　　Laura；　I　am　sure　you　would。　　I　would　_make_　you。〃

〃I　don't　know。　　I　suppose　that　is　a　stupid　answer。　　But　it　is；　if　I　am　to　be　honest；　and　I　am　trying　very　hard　to　be　honestwith　you　and　with　myselfthe　only　one　I　have。　　I　am　happy　just　as　I　am。　　I　like　you　and　Mr。　Cressler　and　Mr。　Corthelleverybody。　　But；　Mr。　Jadwin〃she　looked　him　full　in　the　face；　her　dark　eyes　full　of　gravity〃with　a　woman　it　is　so　seriousto　be　married。　　More　so　than　any　man　ever　understood。　　And；　oh；　one　must　be　so　sure；　so　sure。　　And　I　am　not　sure　now。　　I　am　not　sure　now。　　Even　if　I　were　sure　of　you；　I　could　not　say　I　was　sure　of　myself。　　Now　and　then　I　tell　myself；　and　even　poor；　dear　Aunt　Wess'；　that　I　shall　never　love　anybody；　that　I　shall　never　marry。　But　I　should　be　bitterly　sorry　if　I　thought　that　was　true。　　It　is　one　of　the　greatest　happinesses　to　which　I　look　forward；　that　some　day　I　shall　love　some　one　with　all　my　heart　and　soul；　and　shall　be　a　true　wife；　and　find　my　husband's　love　for　me　the　sweetest　thing　in　my　life。　　But　I　am　sure　that　that　day　has　not　come　yet。〃

〃And　when　it　does　come；〃　he　urged；　〃may　I　be　the　first　to　know？〃

She　smiled　a　little　gravely。

〃Ah；〃　she　answered；　〃I　would　not　know　myself　that　that　day　had　come　until　I　woke　to　the　fact　that　I　loved　the　man　who　had　asked　me　to　be　his　wife；　and　then　it　might　be　too　latefor　you。〃

〃But　now；　at　least；〃　he　persisted；　〃you　love　no　one。〃

〃Now；〃　she　repeated；　〃I　loveno　one。〃

〃And　I　may　take　such　encouragement　in　that　as　I　can？〃

And　then；　suddenly；　capriciously　even；　Laura；　an　inexplicable　spirit　of　inconsistency　besetting　her；　was　a　very　different　woman　from　the　one　who　an　instant　before　had　spoken　so　gravely　of　the　seriousness　of　marriage。　　She　hesitated　a　moment　before　answering　Jadwin；　her　head　on　one　side；　looking　at　the　rose　leaf　between　her　fingers。　　In　a　low　voice　she　said　at　last：

〃If　you　like。〃

But　before　Jadwin　could　reply；　Cressler　and　Aunt　Wess'　who　had　been　telling　each　other　of　their　〃experiences；〃　of　their　〃premonitions；〃　of　the　unaccountable　things　that　had　happened　to　them；　at　length　included　the　others　in　their　conversation。

〃J。；〃　remarked　Cressler；　〃did　anything　funny　ever　happen　to　_you_warnings；　presentiments；　that　sort　of　thing？　　Mrs。　Wessels　and　I　have　been　talking　spiritualism。　　Laura；　have　_you_　ever　had　any　'experiences'？〃

She　shook　her　head。

〃No；　no。　　I　am　too　material；　I　am　afraid。〃

〃How　about　you；　'J。'？〃

〃Nothing　much；　except　that　I　believe　in　'luck'a　little。　　The　other　day　I　flipped　a　coin　in　Gretry's　office。　　If　it　fell　heads　I　was　to　sell　wheat　short；　and　somehow　I　knew　all　the　time　that　the　coin　would　fall　headsand　so　it　did。〃

〃And　you　made　a　great　deal　of　money；〃　said　Laura。　　〃I　know。　　Mr。　Court　was　telling　me。　　That　was　splendid。〃

〃That　was　deplorable；　Laura；〃　said　Cressler；　gravely。　〃I　hope　some　day；〃　he　continued；　〃we　can　all　of　us　get　hold　of　this　man　and　make　him　solemnly　promise　never　to　gamble　in　wheat　again。〃

Laura　stared。　　To　her　mind　the　word　〃gambling〃　had　always　been　suspect。　　It　had　a　bad　sound；　it　seemed　to　be　associated　with　depravity　of　the　baser　sort。

〃Gambling！〃　she　murmured。

〃They　call　it　buying　and　selling；〃　he　went　on；　〃down　there　in　La　Salle　Street。　　But　it　is　simply　betting。　Betting　on　the　condition　of　the　market　weeks；　even　months；　in　advance。　　You　bet　wheat　goes　up。　　I　bet　it　goes　down。　　Those　fellows　in　the　Pit　don't　own　the　wheat；　never　even　see　it。　　Wou'dn't　know　what　to　do　with　it　if　they　had　it。　　They　don't　care　in　the　least　about　the　grain。　　But　there　are　thousands　upon　thousands　of　farmers　out　here　in　Iowa　and　Kansas　or　Dakota　who　do；　and　hundreds　of　thousand　of　poor　devils　in　Europe　who　care　even　more　than　the　farmer。　　I　mean　the　fellows　who　raise　the　grain；　and　the　other　fellows　who　eat　it。　　It's　life　or　death　for　either　of　them。　And　right　between　these　two　comes　the　Chicago　speculator；　who　raises　or　lowers　the　price　out　of　all　reason；　for　the　benefit　of　his　pocket。　　You　see　Laura；　here　is　what　I　mean。〃　　Cressler　had　suddenly　become　very　earnest。　　Absorbed；　interested；　Laura　listened　intently。　　〃Here　is　what　I　mean；〃　pursued　Cressler。　〃It's　like　this：　If　we　send　the　price　of　wheat　down　too　far；　the　farmer　suffers；　the　fellow　who　raises　it　if　we　send　it　up　too　far；　the　poor　man　in　Europe　suffers；　the　fellow　who　eats　it。　　And　food　to　the　peasant　on　the　continent　is　breadnot　meat　or　potatoes；　as　it　is　with　us。　　The　only　way　to　do　so　that　neither　the　American　farmer　nor　the　European　peasant　suffers；　is　to　keep　wheat　at　an　average；　legitimate　value。　　The　moment　you　inflate　or　depress　that；　somebody　suffers　right　away。　And　that　is　just　what　these　gamblers　are　doing　all　the　time；　booming　it　up　or　booming　it　down。　　Think　of　it；　the　food　of　hundreds　and　hundreds　of　thousands　of　people　just　at　the　mercy　of　a　few　men　down　there　on　the　Board　of　Trade。　　They　make　the　price。　　They　say　just　how　much　the　peasant　shall　pay　for　his　loaf　of　bread。　If　he　can't　pay　the　price　he　simply　starves。　　And　as　for　the　farmer；　why　it's　ludicrous。　　If　I　build　a　house　and　offer　it　for　sale；　I　put　my　own　price　on　it；　and　if　the　price　offered　don't　suit　me　I　don't　sell。　　But　if　I　go　out　here　in　Iowa　and　raise　a　crop　of　wheat；　I've　got　to　sell　it；　whether　I　want　to　or　not　at　the　figure　named　by　some　fellows　in　Chicago。　　And　to　make　themselves　rich；　they　may　make　me　sell　it　at　a　price　that　bankrupts　me。〃

Laura　nodded。　　She　was　intensely　interested。　　A　whole　new　order　of　things　was　being　disclosed；　and　for　the　first　time　in　her　life　she　looked　into　the　workings　of　political　economy。

〃Oh；　that's　only　one　side　of　it；〃　Cressler　went　on；　heedless　of　Jadwin's　good…humoured　protests。　　〃Yes；　I　know　I　am　a　crank　on　speculating。　　I'm　going　to　preach　a　little　if　you'll　let　me。　　I've　been　a　speculator　myself；　and　a　ruined　one　at　that；　and　I　know　what　I　am　talking　about。　　Here　is　what　I　was　going　to　say。　　These　fellows　themselves；　the　gamblerswell；　call　them　speculators；　if　you　like。　　Oh；　the　fine；　promising　manly　young　men　I've　seen　wreckedabsolutely　and　hopelessly　wrecked　and　ruined　by　speculation！　It's　as　easy　to　get　into　as　going　across　the　street。　　They　make　three　hundred；　five　hundred；　yes；　even　a　thousand　dollars　sometimes　in　a　couple　of　hours；　without　so　much　as　raising　a　finger。　　Think　what　that　means　to　a　boy　of　twenty…five　who's　doing　clerk　work　at　seventy…five　a　month。　　Why；　it　would　take　him　maybe　ten　years　to　save　a　thousand；　and　here