carson mccullers - the heart is a lonely hunter-第6部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


was　led。　Biff　brought　out　the　suitcase　from　behind　the　counter　
and　explained　to　the　mute　about　it。　Singer　looked　as　though　he　
could　not　be　surprised　at　anything。　
Biff　went　with　them　to　the　entrance。　'Buck　up　and　keep　your　
nose　clean；'　he　said　to　Blount。　
The　black　night　sky　was　beginning　to　lighten　and　turn　a　deep　
blue　with　the　new　morning。　There　were　but　a　few　weak；　
silvery　stars。　The　street　was　empty；　silent；　almost　cool。　Singer　
carried　the　suitcase　with　his　left　hand；　and　with　his　free　hand　
he　supported　Blount。　He　nodded　goodbye　to　Biff　and　they　
started　off　together　down　the　sidewalk。　Biff　stood　watching　
them。　After　they　had　gone　hah*　a　block　away　only　their　black　
forms　showed　in　the　blue　darkness　—the　mute　straight　and　
firm　and　the　broad…shouldered；　stumbling　Blount　holding　on　
to　him。　When　he　could　see　them　no　longer；　Biff　waited　for　a　
moment　and　examined　the　sky。　The　vast　depth　of　it　fascinated　
and　oppressed　him。　He　rubbed　his　forehead　and　went　back　
into　the　sharply　lighted　restaurant。　
He　stood　behind　the　cash　register；　and　his　face　contracted　and　
hardened　as　he　tried　to　recall　the　things　that　had　happened　
during　the　night。　He　had　the　feeling　that　he　wanted　to　explain　
something　to　himself。　He　recalled　the　incidents　in　tedious　
detail　and　was　still　puzzled。　
The　door　opened　and　closed　several　times　as　a　sudden　spurt　of　


customers　began　to　come　in。　The　night　was　over。　Willie　
stacked　some　of　the　chairs　up　on　the　tables　and　mopped　at　the　
floor。　He　was　ready　to　go　home　and　was　singing。　Willie　was　
lazy。　In　the　kitchen　he　was　always　stopping　to　play　for　a　while　
on　the　harmonica　he　carried　

around　with　him。　Now　he　mopped　the　floor　with　sleepy　
strokes　and　hummed　his　lonesome　Negro　music　steadily。　
The　place　was　still　not　crowded—it　was　the　hour　when　men　
who　have　been　up　all　night　meet　those　who　are　freshly　
wakened　and　ready　to　start　a　new　day。　The　sleepy　waitress　
was　serving　both　beer　and　coffee。　There　was　no　noise　or　
conversation；　for　each　person　seemed　to　be　alone。　The　mutual　
distrust　between　the　men　who　were　just　awakened　and　those　
who　were　ending　a　long　night　gave　everyone　a　feeling　of　
estrangement。　
The　bank　building　across　the　street　was　very　pale　in　the　dawn。　
Then　gradually　its　white　brick　walls　grew　more　distinct。　When　
at　last　the　first　shafts　of　the　rising　sun　began　to　brighten　the　
street；　Biff　gave　the　place　one　last　survey　and　went　upstairs。　
Noisily　he　rattled　the　doorknob　as　he　entered　so　that　Alice　
would　be　disturbed。　'Motherogod！'　he　said。　'What　a　night！'　
Alice　awoke　with　caution。　She　lay　on　the　rumpled　bed　like　a　
sulky　cat　and　stretched　herself。　The　room　was　drab　in　the　
fresh；　hot　morning　sun；　and　a　pair　of　silk　stockings　hung　limp　
and　withered　from　the　cord　of　the　window…shade。　
'Is　that　drunk　fool　still　hanging　around　downstairs？'　she　
demanded。　
Biff　took　off　his　shirt　and　examined　the　collar　to　see　if　it　were　
clean　enough　to　be　worn　again。　'Go　down　and　see　for　yourself。　
I　told　you　nobody　will　hinder　you　from　kicking　him　out。'　
Sleepily　Alice　reached　down　and　picked　up　a　Bible；　the　blank　
side　of　a　menu；　and　a　Sunday…School　book　from　the　floor　
beside　the　bed。　She　rustled　through　the　tissue　pages　of　the　
Bible　until　she　reached　a　certain　passage　and　began　reading；　
pronouncing　the　words　aloud　with　painful　concentration。　It　
was　Sunday；　and　she　was　preparing　the　weekly　lesson　for　her　
class　of　boys　in　the　Junior　Department　of　her　church。　'Now　as　
he　walked　by　the　sea　of　Galilee；　he　saw　Simon　and　Andrew　


his　brother　casting　a　net　into　the　sea：　for　they　were　fishers。　
And　Jesus　said　unto　them；　〃Come　ye　after　me；　and　I　will　make　
you　to　become　fishers　of　men。〃　And　straightway　they　forsook　
their　nets；　and　followed　him。'26　

Biff　went　into　the　bathroom　to　wash　himself。　The　silky　
murmuring　continued　as　Alice　studied　aloud。　He　listened。　　。。　
and　in　the　morning；　rising　up　a　great　while　before　day；　He　
went　out；　and　departed　into　a　solitary　place；　and　there　prayed。　
And　Simon　and　they　that　were　with　Him　followed　after　Him。　
And　when　they　had　found　Him；　they　said　unto　Him；　〃All　men　
seek　for　Thee。〃　'　
She　had　finished。　Biff　let　the　words　revolve　again　gently　
inside　him。　He　tried　to　separate　the　actual　words　from　the　
sound　of　Alice's　voice　as　she　had　spoken　them。　He　wanted　to　
remember　the　passage　as　his　mother　used　to　read　it　when　he　
was　a　boy。　With　nostalgia　he　glanced　down　at　the　wedding　
ring　on　his　fifth　finger　that　had　once　been　hers。　He　wondered　
again　how　she　would　have　felt　about　bis　giving　up　church　and　
religion。　
'The　lesson　for　today　is　about　the　gathering　of　the　disciples；'　
Alice　said　to　herself　in　preparation。　'And　the　text　is；　〃All　men　
seek　for　Thee。〃　'　
Abruptly　Biff　roused　himself　from　meditation　and　turned　on　
the　water　spigot　at　full　force。　He　stripped　off　his　undervest　
and　began　to　wash　himself。　Always　he　was　scrupulously　clean　
from　the　belt　upward。　Every　morning　he　soaped　his　chest　and　
arms　and　neck　and　feet—and　about　twice　during　the　season　he　
got　into　the　bathtub　and　cleaned　all　of　his　parts。　
Biff　stood　by　the　bed；　waiting　impatiently　for　Alice　to　get　up。　
From　the　window　he　saw　that　the　day　would　be　windless　and　
burning　hot。　Alice　had　finished　reading　the　lesson。　She　still　
lay　lazily　across　the　bed；　although　she　knew　that　he　was　
waiting。　A　calm；　sullen　anger　rose　in　him。　He　chuckled　
ironically。　Then　he　said　with　bitterness：　'If　you　like　I　can　sit　
and　read　the　paper　awhile。　But　I　wish　you　would　let　me　sleep　
now。'　
Alice　began　dressing　herself　and　Biff　made　up　the　bed。　Deftly　
he　reversed　the　sheets　in　all　possible　ways；　putting　the　top　one　
on　the　bottom；　and　turning　them　over　and　upside　down。　When　


the　bed　was　smoothly　made　he　waited　until　Alice　had　left　the　
room　before　he　slipped　off　his　trousers　and　crawled　inside。　
His　feet　jutted　out　from　beneath　the　cover　and　his　wiry…haired　
chest　was　very　dark　against　the　pillow。　He　was　glad　he　had　not　
told　Alice　about　what　had　happened　to　the　drunk。　He　had　
wanted　to　talk　

to　somebody　about　it；　because　maybe　if　he　told　all　the　facts　
out　loud　he　could　put　his　finger　on　the　thing　that　puzzled　him。　
The　poor　son…of…a…bitch　talking　and　talking　and　not　ever　
getting　anybody　to　understand　what　he　meant。　Not　knowing　
himself；　most　likely。　And　the　way　he　gravitated　around　the　
deaf…mute　and　picked　him　out　and　tried　to　make　him　a　free　
present　of　everything　in　him。　
Why？　
Because　in　some　men　it　is　in　them　to　give　up　everything　
personal　at　some　time；　before　it　ferments　and　poisons—throw　
it　to　some　human　being　or　some　human　idea。　They　have　to。　In　
some　men　it　is　in　them—The　text　is　'All　men　seek　for　Thee。'　
Maybe　that　was　why—maybe—He　was　a　Chinaman；　the　
fellow　had　said。　And　a　nigger　and　a　wop　and　a　Jew。　And　if　he　
believed　it　hard　enough　maybe　it　was　so。　Every　person　and　
every　thing　he　said　he　was
Biff　stretched　both　of　his　arms　outward　and　crossed　his　naked　
feet。　His　face　was　older　in　the　morning　light；　with　the　closed；　
shrunken　eyelids　and　the　heavy；　iron…like　beard　on　his　cheeks　
and　jaw。　Gradually　his　mouth　softened　and　relaxed。　The　hard；　
yellow　rays　of　the　sun　came　in　through　the　window　so　that　the　
room　was　hot　and　bright。　Biff　turned　wearily　and　covered　his　
eyes　with　his　hands。　And　he　was　nobody　but—Bartholomew　
—old　Biff　with　two　fists　and　a　quick　tongue—Mister　Brannon　
—by　himself。　

J。　HE　sun　woke　Mick　early；　although　she　had　stayed　out　mighty　
late　the　night　before。　It　was　too　hot　even　to　drink　coffee　for　
breakfast；　so　she　had　ice　water　with　syrup　in　it　and　cold　
biscuits。　She　messed　around　the　kitchen　for　a　while　and　then　
went　out　on　the　front　porch　to　read　the　funnies。　She　had　
thought　maybe　Mister　Singer　would　be　reading　the　paper　on　
the　porch　like　he　did　most　Sunday　mornings。　But　Mister　

Singer　was　not　there；　and　later　on　her　Dad　said　he　came　in　
very　late　the　night　before　and　had　company　in　his　room。　She　
waited　for　Mister　Singer　a　long　time。　All　the　other　boarders　
came　down　except　him。　Fi…28　

nally　she　went　back　in　the　kitchen　and　took　Ralph　out　of　his　
high　chair　and　put　a　clean　dress　on　him　and　wiped　off　his　face。　
Then　when　Bubber　got　home　from　Sunday　School　she　was　
ready　to　take　the　kids　out。　She　let　Bubber　ride　in　the　wagon　
with　Ralph　because　he　was　barefooted　and　the　hot　sidewalk　
burned　his　feet。　She　pulled　the　wagon　for　about　eight　blocks　
until　they　came　to　the　big；　new　house　that　was　being　built。　The　
ladder　was　still　propped　against　the　edge　of　the　roof；　and　she　
screwed　up　nerve　and　began　to　climb。　
'You　mind　Ralph；'　she　called　back　to　Bubber。　'Mind　the　gnats　
don't　sit　on　his　eyelids。'　
Five　minutes　later　Mick　stood　up　and　held　herself　very　
straight。　She　spread　out　her　arms　like　wings。　This　was　the　
place　where　everybody　wanted　to　stand。　The　very　top。　But　not　
many　kids　could　do　it。　Most　of　them　were　scared；　for　if　you　
lost　your　grip　and　rolled　off　the　edge　it　would　kill　you。　All　
around　were　the　roofs　of　other　houses　and　the　green　tops　of　
trees。　On　the　other　side　of　town　were　the　church　steeples　and　
the　smokestacks　from　the　mills。　The　sky　was　bright　blue　and　
hot　as　fire。　The　sun　made　everything　on　the　ground　either　
dizzy　white　or　black。　
She　wanted　to　sing。　All　the　songs　she　knew　pushed　up　toward　
her　throat；　but　there　was　no　sound。　One　big　boy　who　had　got　
to　the　highest　part　of　the　roof　last　week　let　out　a　yell　and　then　
started　hollering　out　a　speech　he　had　learned　at　High　School　
—'Friends；　Romans；　Countrymen；　Lend　me　your　ears！'　There　
was　something　about　getting　to　the　very　top　that　gave　you　a　
wild　feeling　and　made　you　want　to　yell　or　sing　or　raise　up　
your　arms　and　fly。　
She　felt　the　soles　of　her　tennis　shoes　slipping；　and　eased　
herself　down　so　that　she　straddled　the　peak　of　the　roof。　The　
house　was　almost　finished。　It　would　be　one　of　the　largest　
buildings　in　the　neighborhood—two　stories；　with　very　high　


ceilings　and　the　steepest　roof　of　any　house　she　had　ever　seen。　
But　soon　the　work　would　all　be　finished。　The　carpenters　
would　leave　and　the　kids　would　have　to　find　another　place　to　
play。　
She　was　by　herself。　No　one　was　around　and　it　was　qu