three men on the bummel(三个闲逛的人)-第6部分
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There is always unpleasantness about this tandem。 It is the theory of
the man in front that the man behind does nothing； it is equally the theory
of the man behind that he alone is the motive power； the man in front
merely doing the puffing。 The mystery will never be solved。 It is
annoying when Prudence is whispering to you on the one side not to
overdo your strength and bring on heart disease； while Justice into the
other ear is remarking； 〃Why should you do it all？ This isn't a cab。
He's not your passenger：〃 to hear him grunt out：
〃What's the matterlost your pedals？〃
Harris； in his early married days； made much trouble for himself on
one occasion； owing to this impossibility of knowing what the person
behind is doing。 He was riding with his wife through Holland。 The
roads were stony； and the machine jumped a good deal。
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〃Sit tight；〃 said Harris； without turning his head。
What Mrs。 Harris thought he said was； 〃Jump off。〃 Why she should
have thought he said 〃Jump off；〃 when he said 〃Sit tight；〃 neither of them
can explain。
Mrs。 Harris puts it in this way； 〃If you had said； 'Sit tight；' why should
I have jumped off？〃
Harris puts it； 〃If I had wanted you to jump off； why should I have said
'Sit tight！'？〃
The bitterness is past； but they argue about the matter to this day。
Be the explanation what it may； however； nothing alters the fact that
Mrs。 Harris did jump off； while Harris pedalled away hard； under the
impression she was still behind him。 It appears that at first she thought
he was riding up the hill merely to show off。 They were both young in
those days； and he used to do that sort of thing。 She expected him to
spring to earth on reaching the summit； and lean in a careless and graceful
attitude against the machine； waiting for her。 When； on the contrary； she
saw him pass the summit and proceed rapidly down a long and steep
incline； she was seized； first with surprise； secondly with indignation； and
lastly with alarm。 She ran to the top of the hill and shouted； but he never
turned his head。 She watched him disappear into a wood a mile and a
half distant； and then sat down and cried。 They had had a slight
difference that morning； and she wondered if he had taken it seriously and
intended desertion。 She had no money； she knew no Dutch。 People
passed； and seemed sorry for her； she tried to make them understand what
had happened。 They gathered that she had lost something； but could not
grasp what。 They took her to the nearest village； and found a policeman
for her。 He concluded from her pantomime that some man had stolen her
bicycle。 They put the telegraph into operation； and discovered in a
village four miles off an unfortunate boy riding a lady's machine of an
obsolete pattern。 They brought him to her in a cart； but as she did not
appear to want either him or his bicycle they let him go again； and
resigned themselves to bewilderment。
Meanwhile； Harris continued his ride with much enjoyment。 It
seemed to him that he had suddenly become a stronger； and in every way a
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more capable cyclist。 Said he to what he thought was Mrs。 Harris：
〃I haven't felt this machine so light for months。 It's this air； I think；
it's doing me good。〃
Then he told her not to be afraid； and he would show her how fast he
COULD go。 He bent down over the handles； and put his heart into his
work。 The bicycle bounded over the road like a thing of life； farmhouses
and churches； dogs and chickens came to him and passed。 Old folks stood
and gazed at him； the children cheered him。
In this way he sped merrily onward for about five miles。 Then； as he
explains it； the feeling began to grow upon him that something was wrong。
He was not surprised at the silence； the wind was blowing strongly； and
the machine was rattling a good deal。 It was a sense of void that came
upon him。 He stretched out his hand behind him； and felt； there was
nothing there but space。 He jumped； or rather fell off； and looked back
up the road； it stretched white and straight through the dark wood； and not
a living soul could be seen upon it。 He remounted； and rode back up the
hill。 In ten minutes he came to where the road broke into four； there he
dismounted and tried to remember which fork he had come down。
While he was deliberating a man passed； sitting sideways on a horse。
Harris stopped him； and explained to him that he had lost his wife。 The
man appeared to be neither surprised nor sorry for him。 While they were
talking another farmer came along； to whom the first man explained the
matter； not as an accident； but as a good story。 What appeared to surprise
the second man most was that Harris should be making a fuss about the
thing。 He could get no sense out of either of them； and cursing them he
mounted his machine again； and took the middle road on chance。 Half…
way up； he came upon a party of two young women with one young man
between them。 They appeared to be making the most of him。 He asked
them if they had seen his wife。 They asked him what she was like。 He
did not know enough Dutch to describe her properly； all he could tell them
was she was a very beautiful woman； of medium size。 Evidently this did
not satisfy them； the description was too general； any man could say that；
and by this means perhaps get possession of a wife that did not belong to
him。 They asked him how she was dressed； for the life of him he could
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not recollect。
I doubt if any man could tell how any woman was dressed ten minutes
after he had left her。 He recollected a blue skirt； and then there was
something that carried the dress on； as it were； up to the neck。 Possibly；
this may have been a blouse； he retained a dim vision of a belt； but what
sort of a blouse？ Was it green； or yellow； or blue？ Had it a collar； or
was it fastened with a bow？ Were there feathers in her hat； or flowers？
Or was it a hat at all？ He dared not say； for fear of making a mistake and
being sent miles after the wrong party。 The two young women giggled；
which in his then state of mind irritated Harris。 The young man； who
appeared anxious to get rid of him； suggested the police station at the next
town。 Harris made his way there。 The police gave him a piece of paper；
and told him to write down a full description of his wife； together with
details of when and where he had lost her。 He did not know where he had
lost her； all he could tell them was the name of the village where he had
lunched。 He knew he had her with him then； and that they had started
from there together。
The police looked suspicious； they were doubtful about three matters：
Firstly； was she really his wife？ Secondly； had he really lost her？
Thirdly； why had he lost her？ With the aid of a hotel…keeper； however；
who spoke a little English； he overcame their scruples。 They promised to
act； and in the evening they brought her to him in a covered wagon；
together with a bill for expenses。 The meeting was not a tender one。
Mrs。 Harris is not a good actress； and always has great difficulty in
disguising her feelings。 On this occasion； she frankly admits； she made
no attempt to disguise them。
The wheel business settled； there arose the ever…lasting luggage
question。
〃The usual list； I suppose；〃 said George； preparing to write。
That was wisdom I had taught them； I had learned it myself years ago
from my Uncle Podger。
〃Always before beginning to pack；〃 my Uncle would say； 〃make a
list。〃
He was a methodical man。
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〃Take a piece of paper〃he always began at the beginning〃put down
on it everything you can possibly require； then go over it and see that it
contains nothing you can possibly do without。 Imagine yourself in bed；
what have you got on？ Very well； put it down together with a change。
You get up； what do you do？ Wash yourself。 What do you wash
yourself with？ Soap； put down soap。 Go on till you have finished。
Then take your clothes。 Begin at your feet； what do you wear on your
feet？ Boots； shoes； socks； put them down。 Work up till you get to your
head。 What else do you want besides
