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to the general calling。  One must know something of the general

calling to know what those afflictions are。  A lady who had been

upon the stage from her earliest childhood till she was a blooming

woman; and who came from a long line of provincial actors and

actresses; once said to me when she was happily married; when she

was rich; beloved; courted; when she was mistress of a fine house …

once said to me at the head of her own table; surrounded by

distinguished guests of every degree; 〃Oh; but I have never

forgotten the hard time when I was on the stage; and when my baby

brother died; and when my poor mother and I brought the little baby

from Ireland to England; and acted three nights in England; as we

had acted three nights in Ireland; with the pretty creature lying

upon the only bed in our lodging before we got the money to pay for

its funeral。〃



Ladies and gentlemen; such things are; every day; to this hour;

but; happily; at this day and in this hour this association has

arisen to be the timely friend of such great distress。



It is not often the fault of the sufferers that they fall into

these straits。  Struggling artists must necessarily change from

place to place; and thus it frequently happens that they become; as

it were; strangers in every place; and very slight circumstances …

a passing illness; the sickness of the husband; wife; or child; a

serious town; an anathematising expounder of the gospel of

gentleness and forbearance … any one of these causes may often in a

few hours wreck them upon a rock in the barren ocean; and then;

happily; this society; with the swift alacrity of the life…boat;

dashes to the rescue; and takes them off。  Looking just now over

the last report issued by this society; and confining my scrutiny

to the head of illness alone; I find that in one year; I think; 672

days of sickness had been assuaged by its means。  In nine years;

which then formed the term of its existence; as many as 5;500 and

odd。  Well; I thought when I saw 5;500 and odd days of sickness;

this is a very serious sum; but add the nights!  Add the nights …

those long; dreary hours in the twenty…four when the shadow of

death is darkest; when despondency is strongest; and when hope is

weakest; before you gauge the good that is done by this

institution; and before you gauge the good that really will be done

by every shilling that you bestow here to…night。  Add; more than

all; that the improvidence; the recklessness of the general

multitude of poor members of this profession; I should say is a

cruel; conventional fable。  Add that there is no class of society

the members of which so well help themselves; or so well help each

other。  Not in the whole grand chapters of Westminster Abbey and

York Minster; not in the whole quadrangle of the Royal Exchange;

not in the whole list of members of the Stock Exchange; not in the

Inns of Court; not in the College of Physicians; not in the College

of Surgeons; can there possibly be found more remarkable instances

of uncomplaining poverty; of cheerful; constant self…denial; of the

generous remembrance of the claims of kindred and professional

brotherhood; than will certainly be found in the dingiest and

dirtiest concert room; in the least lucid theatre … even in the

raggedest tent circus that was ever stained by weather。



I have been twitted in print before now with rather flattering

actors when I address them as one of their trustees at their

General Fund dinner。  Believe me; I flatter nobody; unless it be

sometimes myself; but; in such a company as the present; I always

feel it my manful duty to bear my testimony to this fact … first;

because it is opposed to a stupid; unfeeling libel; secondly;

because my doing so may afford some slight encouragement to the

persons who are unjustly depreciated; and lastly; and most of all;

because I know it is the truth。



Now; ladies and gentlemen; it is time we should what we

professionally call 〃ring down〃 on these remarks。  If you; such

members of the general public as are here; will only think the

great theatrical curtain has really fallen and been taken up again

for the night on that dull; dark vault which many of us know so

well; if you will only think of the theatre or other place of

entertainment as empty; if you will only think of the 〃float;〃 or

other gas…fittings; as extinguished; if you will only think of the

people who have beguiled you of an evening's care; whose little

vanities and almost childish foibles are engendered in their

competing face to face with you for your favour … surely it may be

said their feelings are partly of your making; while their virtues

are all their own。  If you will only do this; and follow them out

of that sham place into the real world; where it rains real rain;

snows real snow; and blows real wind; where people sustain

themselves by real money; which is much harder to get; much harder

to make; and very much harder to give away than the pieces of

tobacco…pipe in property bags … if you will only do this; and do it

in a really kind; considerate spirit; this society; then certain of

the result of the night's proceedings; can ask no more。  I beg to

propose to you to drink 〃Prosperity to the Dramatic; Equestrian;

and Musical Sick Fund Association。〃





'Mr。 Dickens; in proposing the next toast; said:…'





Gentlemen:  as I addressed myself to the ladies last time; so I

address you this time; and I give you the delightful assurance that

it is positively my last appearance but one on the present

occasion。  A certain Mr。 Pepys; who was Secretary for the Admiralty

in the days of Charles II。; who kept a diary well in shorthand;

which he supposed no one could read; and which consequently remains

to this day the most honest diary known to print … Mr。 Pepys had

two special and very strong likings; the ladies and the theatres。

But Mr。 Pepys; whenever he committed any slight act of remissness;

or any little peccadillo which was utterly and wholly untheatrical;

used to comfort his conscience by recording a vow that he would

abstain from the theatres for a certain time。  In the first part of

Mr。 Pepys' character I have no doubt we fully agree with him; in

the second I have no doubt we do not。



I learn this experience of Mr。 Pepys from remembrance of a passage

in his diary that I was reading the other night; from which it

appears that he was not only curious in plays; but curious in

sermons; and that one night when he happened to be walking past St。

Dunstan's Church; he turned; went in; and heard what he calls 〃a

very edifying discourse;〃 during the delivery of which discourse;

he notes in his diary … 〃I stood by a pretty young maid; whom I did

attempt to take by the hand。〃  But he adds … 〃She would not; and I

did perceive that she had pins in her pocket with which to prick me

if I should touch her again … and was glad that I spied her

design。〃  Afterwards; about the close of the same edifying

discourse; Mr。 Pepys found himself near another pretty; fair young

maid; who would seem upon the whole to have had no pins; and to

have been more impressible。



Now; the moral of this story which I wish to suggest to you is;

that we have been this evening in St。 James's much more timid than

Mr。 Pepys was in St。 Dunstan's; and that we have conducted

ourselves very much better。  As a slight recompense to us for our

highly meritorious conduct; and as a little relief to our over…

charged hearts; I beg to propose that we devote this bumper to

invoking a blessing on the ladies。  It is the privilege of this

society annually to hear a lady speak for her own sex。  Who so

competent to do this as Mrs。 Stirling?  Surely one who has so

gracefully and captivatingly; with such an exquisite mixture of

art; and fancy; and fidelity; represented her own sex in

innumerable charities; under an infinite variety of phases; cannot

fail to represent them well in her own character; especially when

it is; amidst her many triumphs; the most agreeable of all。  I beg

to propose to you 〃The Ladies;〃 and I will couple with that toast

the name of Mrs。 Stirling。







SPEECH:  LONDON; MARCH 28; 1866。







'The following speech was made by Mr。 Dickens at the Annual

Festival of the Royal General Theatrical Fund; held at the

Freemasons' Tavern; in proposing the health of the Lord Mayor (Sir

Benjamin Phillips); who occupied the chair。'



GENTLEMEN; in my childish days I remember to have had a vague but

profound admiration for a certain legendary person called the Lord

Mayor's fool。  I had the highest opinion of the intellectual

capacity of that suppositious retainer of the Mansion House; and I

really regarded him with feelings approaching to absolute

veneration; because my nurse informed me on every gastronomic

occasion that the Lord Mayor's fool liked everything that was good。

You will agree with me; I have no doubt; that if this

discriminating jester had existed at the present time he could not

fail to have liked his master very much; seeing that so good a Lord

Mayor is very rarely to be found; and that a better Lord Mayor

could not possibly be。



You have already divined; gentlemen; that I am about to propose to

you to drink the health of the right honourable gentleman in the

chair。  As one of the Trustees of the General Theatrical Fund; I

beg officially to tender him my best thanks for lending the very

powerful aid of his presence; his influence; and his personal

character to this very deserving Institution。  As his private

friends we ventured to urge upon him to do us this gracious act;

and I beg to assure you that the perfect simplicity; modesty;

cordiality; and frankness with which he assented; enhanced the gift

one thousand fold。  I think it must also be very agreeable to a

company like this to know that the President of the night is not

ceremoniously pretending; 〃positively for this night o

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