the wife and other stories-第39部分

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s　the　proof　that　it's　right？　You　will　fall　back　upon　the　natural　order　of　things；　the　uniformity　of　phenomena；　but　is　there　order　and　uniformity　in　the　fact　that　I；　a　living；　thinking　man；　stand　over　a　chasm　and　wait　for　it　to　close　of　itself；　or　to　fill　up　with　mud　at　the　very　time　when　perhaps　I　might　leap　over　it　or　build　a　bridge　across　it？　And　again；　wait　for　the　sake　of　what？　Wait　till　there's　no　strength　to　live？　And　meanwhile　one　must　live；　and　one　wants　to　live！

〃I　went　away　from　my　brother's　early　in　the　morning；　and　ever　since　then　it　has　been　unbearable　for　me　to　be　in　town。　I　am　oppressed　by　its　peace　and　quiet；　I　am　afraid　to　look　at　the　windows；　for　there　is　no　spectacle　more　painful　to　me　now　than　the　sight　of　a　happy　family　sitting　round　the　table　drinking　tea。　I　am　old　and　am　not　fit　for　the　struggle；　I　am　not　even　capable　of　hatred；　I　can　only　grieve　inwardly；　feel　irritated　and　vexed；　but　at　night　my　head　is　hot　from　the　rush　of　ideas；　and　I　cannot　sleep。　。　。　。　Ah；　if　I　were　young！〃

Ivan　Ivanovitch　walked　backwards　and　forwards　in　excitement；　and　repeated：　〃If　I　were　young！〃

He　suddenly　went　up　to　Alehin　and　began　pressing　first　one　of　his　hands　and　then　the　other。

〃Pavel　Konstantinovitch；〃　he　said　in　an　imploring　voice；　〃don't　be　calm　and　contented；　don't　let　yourself　be　put　to　sleep！　While　you　are　young；　strong；　confident；　be　not　weary　in　well…doing！　There　is　no　happiness；　and　there　ought　not　to　be；　but　if　there　is　a　meaning　and　an　object　in　life；　that　meaning　and　object　is　not　our　happiness；　but　something　greater　and　more　rational。　Do　good！〃

And　all　this　Ivan　Ivanovitch　said　with　a　pitiful；　imploring　smile；　as　though　he　were　asking　him　a　personal　favour。

Then　all　three　sat　in　arm…chairs　at　different　ends　of　the　drawing…room　and　were　silent。　Ivan　Ivanovitch's　story　had　not　satisfied　either　Burkin　or　Alehin。　When　the　generals　and　ladies　gazed　down　from　their　gilt　frames；　looking　in　the　dusk　as　though　they　were　alive；　it　was　dreary　to　listen　to　the　story　of　the　poor　clerk　who　ate　gooseberries。　They　felt　inclined；　for　some　reason；　to　talk　about　elegant　people；　about　women。　And　their　sitting　in　the　drawing…room　where　everything　　the　chandeliers　in　their　covers；　the　arm…chairs；　and　the　carpet　under　their　feet　　reminded　them　that　those　very　people　who　were　now　looking　down　from　their　frames　had　once　moved　about；　sat；　drunk　tea　in　this　room；　and　the　fact　that　lovely　Pelagea　was　moving　noiselessly　about　was　better　than　any　story。

Alehin　was　fearfully　sleepy；　he　had　got　up　early；　before　three　o'clock　in　the　morning；　to　look　after　his　work；　and　now　his　eyes　were　closing；　but　he　was　afraid　his　visitors　might　tell　some　interesting　story　after　he　had　gone；　and　he　lingered　on。　He　did　not　go　into　the　question　whether　what　Ivan　Ivanovitch　had　just　said　was　right　and　true。　His　visitors　did　not　talk　of　groats；　nor　of　hay；　nor　of　tar；　but　of　something　that　had　no　direct　bearing　on　his　life；　and　he　was　glad　and　wanted　them　to　go　on。

〃It's　bed…time；　though；〃　said　Burkin；　getting　up。　〃Allow　me　to　wish　you　good…night。〃

Alehin　said　good…night　and　went　downstairs　to　his　own　domain；　while　the　visitors　remained　upstairs。　They　were　both　taken　for　the　night　to　a　big　room　where　there　stood　two　old　wooden　beds　decorated　with　carvings；　and　in　the　corner　was　an　ivory　crucifix。　The　big　cool　beds；　which　had　been　made　by　the　lovely　Pelagea；　smelt　agreeably　of　clean　linen。

Ivan　Ivanovitch　undressed　in　silence　and　got　into　bed。

〃Lord　forgive　us　sinners！〃　he　said；　and　put　his　head　under　the　quilt。

His　pipe　lying　on　the　table　smelt　strongly　of　stale　tobacco；　and　Burkin　could　not　sleep　for　a　long　while；　and　kept　wondering　where　the　oppressive　smell　came　from。

The　rain　was　pattering　on　the　window…panes　all　night。


ABOUT　LOVE

AT　lunch　next　day　there　were　very　nice　pies；　crayfish；　and　mutton　cutlets；　and　while　we　were　eating；　Nikanor；　the　cook；　came　up　to　ask　what　the　visitors　would　like　for　dinner。　He　was　a　man　of　medium　height；　with　a　puffy　face　and　little　eyes；　he　was　close…shaven；　and　it　looked　as　though　his　moustaches　had　not　been　shaved；　but　had　been　pulled　out　by　the　roots。　Alehin　told　us　that　the　beautiful　Pelagea　was　in　love　with　this　cook。　As　he　drank　and　was　of　a　violent　character；　she　did　not　want　to　marry　him；　but　was　willing　to　live　with　him　without。　He　was　very　devout；　and　his　religious　convictions　would　not　allow　him　to　〃live　in　sin〃；　he　insisted　on　her　marrying　him；　and　would　consent　to　nothing　else；　and　when　he　was　drunk　he　used　to　abuse　her　and　even　beat　her。　Whenever　he　got　drunk　she　used　to　hide　upstairs　and　sob；　and　on　such　occasions　Alehin　and　the　servants　stayed　in　the　house　to　be　ready　to　defend　her　in　case　of　necessity。

We　began　talking　about　love。

〃How　love　is　born；〃　said　Alehin；　〃why　Pelagea　does　not　love　somebody　more　like　herself　in　her　spiritual　and　external　qualities；　and　why　she　fell　in　love　with　Nikanor；　that　ugly　snout　　we　all　call　him　'The　Snout'　　how　far　questions　of　personal　happiness　are　of　consequence　in　love　　all　that　is　known；　one　can　take　what　view　one　likes　of　it。　So　far　only　one　incontestable　truth　has　been　uttered　about　love：　'This　is　a　great　mystery。'　Everything　else　that　has　been　written　or　said　about　love　is　not　a　conclusion；　but　only　a　statement　of　questions　which　have　remained　unanswered。　The　explanation　which　would　seem　to　fit　one　case　does　not　apply　in　a　dozen　others；　and　the　very　best　thing；　to　my　mind；　would　be　to　explain　every　case　individually　without　attempting　to　generalize。　We　ought；　as　the　doctors　say；　to　individualize　each　case。〃

〃Perfectly　true；〃　Burkin　assented。

〃We　Russians　of　the　educated　class　have　a　partiality　for　these　questions　that　remain　unanswered。　Love　is　usually　poeticized；　decorated　with　roses；　nightingales；　we　Russians　decorate　our　loves　with　these　momentous　questions；　and　select　the　most　uninteresting　of　them；　too。　In　Moscow；　when　I　was　a　student；　I　had　a　friend　who　shared　my　life；　a　charming　lady；　and　every　time　I　took　her　in　my　arms　she　was　thinking　what　I　would　allow　her　a　month　for　housekeeping　and　what　was　the　price　of　beef　a　pound。　In　the　same　way；　when　we　are　in　love　we　are　never　tired　of　asking　ourselves　questi　ons：　whether　it　is　honourable　or　dishonourable；　sensible　or　stupid；　what　this　love　is　leading　up　to；　and　so　on。　Whether　it　is　a　good　thing　or　not　I　don't　know；　but　that　it　is　in　the　way；　unsatisfactory；　and　irritating；　I　do　know。〃

It　looked　as　though　he　wanted　to　tell　some　story。　People　who　lead　a　solitary　existence　always　have　something　in　their　hearts　which　they　are　eager　to　talk　about。　In　town　bachelors　visit　the　baths　and　the　restaurants　on　purpose　to　talk；　and　sometimes　tell　the　most　interesting　things　to　bath　attendants　and　waiters；　in　the　country；　as　a　rule；　they　unbosom　themselves　to　their　guests。　Now　from　the　window　we　could　see　a　grey　sky；　trees　drenched　in　the　rain；　in　such　weather　we　could　go　nowhere；　and　there　was　nothing　for　us　to　do　but　to　tell　stories　and　to　listen。

〃I　have　lived　at　Sofino　and　been　farming　for　a　long　time；〃　Alehin　began；　〃ever　since　I　left　the　University。　I　am　an　idle　gentleman　by　education；　a　studious　person　by　disposition；　but　there　was　a　big　debt　owing　on　the　estate　when　I　came　here；　and　as　my　father　was　in　debt　partly　because　he　had　spent　so　much　on　my　education；　I　resolved　not　to　go　away；　but　to　work　till　I　paid　off　the　debt。　I　made　up　my　mind　to　this　and　set　to　work；　not；　I　must　confess；　without　some　repugnance。　The　land　here　does　not　yield　much；　and　if　one　is　not　to　farm　at　a　loss　one　must　employ　serf　labour　or　hired　labourers；　which　is　almost　the　same　thing；　or　put　it　on　a　peasant　footing　　that　is；　work　the　fields　oneself　and　with　one's　family。　There　is　no　middle　path。　But　in　those　days　I　did　not　go　into　such　subtleties。　I　did　not　leave　a　clod　of　earth　unturned；　I　gathered　together　all　the　peasants；　men　and　women；　from　the　neighbouring　villages；　the　work　went　on　at　a　tremendous　pace。　I　myself　ploughed　and　sowed　and　reaped；　and　was　bored　doing　it；　and　frowned　with　disgust；　like　a　village　cat　driven　by　hunger　to　eat　cucumbers　in　the　kitchen…garden。　My　body　ached；　and　I　slept　as　I　walked。　At　first　it　seemed　to　me　that　I　could　easily　reconcile　this　life　of　toil　with　my　cultured　habits；　to　do　so；　I　thought；　all　that　is　necessary　is　to　maintain　a　certain　external　order　in　life。　I　established　myself　upstairs　here　in　the　best　rooms；　and　ordered　them　to　bring　me　there　coffee　and　liquor　after　lunch　and　dinner；　and　when　I　went　to　bed　I　read　every　night　the　_Yyesnik　Evropi_。　But　one　day　our　priest；　Father　Ivan；　came　and　drank　up　all　my　liquor　at　one　sitting；　and　the　_Yyesnik　Evropi_　went　to　the　priest's　daughters；　as　in　the　summer；　especially　at　the　haymaking；　I　did　not　succeed　in　getting　to　my　bed　at　all；　and　slept　in　the　sledge　in　the　barn；　or　somewhere　in　the　forester's　lodge；　what　chance　was　there　of　reading？　Little　by　little　I　moved　downstairs；　began　dining　in　the　servants'　kitchen；　and　of　my　former　luxury　nothing　is　left　but　the　servants　who　were　in　my　father's　service；　and　whom　it　would　be　painful　to　turn　away。

〃In　the　first　years　I　was　elected　here　an　honourary　justice　of　the　peace。　I　used　to　have　to　go　to　the　town　and　take　part　in　the　sessions　of　the　congress　and　of　the　circuit　court；　and　this　was　a　pleasant　change　for　me。　When　you　live　here　for　two　or　three　months　without　a　break；　especially　in　the　winter；　you　begin　at　last　to　pine　for　a　black　coat。　And　in　the　circuit　court　there　were　frock…coats；　and　uniforms；　and　dress…coats；　too；　all　lawyers；　men　who　have　received　a　general　education；　I　had　some　one　to　talk　to。　After　sleeping　in　the　sledge　and　dining　in　the　kitchen；　to　sit　in　an　arm…chair　in　clean　linen；　in　thin　boots；　with　a　chain　on　one's　waistcoat；　is　such　luxury！

〃I　received　a　warm　welcome　in　the　town。　I　made　friends　eagerly。　And　of　all　my　acquaintanceships　the　most　intimate　and；　to　tell　the　truth；　the　most　agreeable　to　me　was　my　acquaintance　with　Luganovitch；　the　vice…president　of　the　circuit　court。　You　both　know　him：　a　most　charming　personality。　It　all　happened　just　after　a　celebrated　case　of　incendiarism；　the　preliminary　investigation　lasted　two　days；　we　were　exhausted。　Luganovitch　looked　at　me　and　said：

〃　'Look　here；　come　round　to　dinner　with　me。'

〃