beatrix-第32部分

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〃He　pays　Charlotte　no　more　attention　than　if　she　were　a　/paludiere/。〃

Remembering　that　the　Chevalier　du　Halga　had　the　reputation　of　having
navigated　in　his　youth　the　waters　of　gallantry；　it　came　into　Calyste's
head　to　consult　him。

〃What　is　the　best　way　to　send　a　letter　secretly　to　one's　mistress；〃　he
said　to　the　old　gentleman　in　a　whisper。

〃Well；　you　can　slip　it　into　the　hand　of　her　maid　with　a　louis　or　two
underneath　it；　for　sooner　or　later　the　maid　will　find　out　the　secret；
and　it　is　just　as　well　to　let　her　into　it　at　once；〃　replied　the
chevalier；　on　whose　face　was　the　gleam　of　a　smile。　〃But；　on　the　whole；
it　is　best　to　give　the　letter　yourself。〃

〃A　louis　or　two！〃　exclaimed　Calyste。

He　snatched　up　his　hat　and　ran　to　Les　Touches；　where　he　appeared　like
an　apparition　in　the　little　salon；　guided　thither　by　the　voices　of
Camille　and　Beatrix。　They　were　sitting　on　the　sofa　together；
apparently　on　the　best　of　terms。　Calyste；　with　the　headlong　impulse　of
love；　flung　himself　heedlessly　on　the　sofa　beside　the　marquise；　took
her　hand；　and　slipped　the　letter　within　it。　He　did　this　so　rapidly
that　Felicite；　watchful　as　she　was；　did　not　perceive　it。　Calyste's
heart　was　tingling　with　an　emotion　half　sweet；　half　painful；　as　he
felt　the　hand　of　Beatrix　press　his　own；　and　saw　her；　without
interrupting　her　words；　or　seeming　in　the　least　disconcerted；　slip　the
letter　into　her　glove。

〃You　fling　yourself　on　a　woman's　dress　without　mercy；〃　she　said；
laughing。

〃Calyste　is　a　boy　who　is　wanting　in　common…sense；〃　said　Felicite；　not
sparing　him　an　open　rebuke。

Calyste　rose；　took　Camille's　hand；　and　kissed　it。　Then　he　went　to　the
piano　and　ran　his　finger…nail　over　the　notes；　making　them　all　sound　at
once；　like　a　rapid　scale。　This　exuberance　of　joy　surprised　Camille；
and　made　her　thoughtful；　she　signed　to　Calyste　to　come　to　her。

〃What　is　the　matter　with　you？〃　she　whispered　in　his　ear。

〃Nothing；〃　he　replied。

〃There　is　something　between　them；〃　thought　Mademoiselle　des　Touches。

The　marquise　was　impenetrable。　Camille　tried　to　make　Calyste　talk；
hoping　that　his　artless　mind　would　betray　itself；　but　the　youth
excused　himself　on　the　ground　that　his　mother　expected　him；　and　he
left　Les　Touches　at　eleven　o'clock；not；　however；　without　having
faced　the　fire　of　a　piercing　glance　from　Camille；　to　whom　that　excuse
was　made　for　the　first　time。

After　the　agitations　of　a　wakeful　night　filled　with　visions　of
Beatrix；　and　after　going　a　score　of　times　through　the　chief　street　of
Guerande　for　the　purpose　of　meeting　the　answer　to　his　letter；　which
did　not　come；　Calyste　finally　received　the　following　reply；　which　the
marquise's　waiting…woman；　entering　the　hotel　du　Guenic；　presented　to
him。　He　carried　it　to　the　garden；　and　there；　in　the　grotto；　he　read　as
follows：

　　Madame　de　Rochefide　to　Calyste。

　　You　are　a　noble　child；　but　you　are　only　a　child。　You　are　bound　to
　　Camille；　who　adores　you。　You　would　not　find　in　me　either　the
　　perfections　that　distinguish　her　or　the　happiness　that　she　can
　　give　you。　Whatever　you　may　think；　she　is　young　and　I　am　old；　her
　　heart　is　full　of　treasures；　mine　is　empty；　she　has　for　you　a
　　devotion　you　ill　appreciate；　she　is　unselfish；　she　lives　only　for
　　you　and　in　you。　I；　on　the　other　hand；　am　full　of　doubts；　I　should
　　drag　you　down　to　a　wearisome　life；　without　grandeur　of　any　kind；
　　a　life　ruined　by　my　own　conduct。　Camille　is　free；　she　can　go　and
　　come　as　she　will；　I　am　a　slave。

　　You　forget　that　I　love　and　am　beloved。　The　situation　in　which　I
　　have　placed　myself　forbids　my　accepting　homage。　That　a　man　should
　　love　me；　or　say　he　loves　me；　is　an　insult。　To　turn　to　another
　　would　be　to　place　myself　at　the　level　of　the　lowest　of　my　sex。

　　You；　who　are　young　and　full　of　delicacy；　how　can　you　oblige　me　to
　　say　these　things；　which　rend　my　heart　as　they　issue　from　it？

　　I　preferred　the　scandal　of　an　irreparable　deed　to　the　shame　of
　　constant　deception；　my　own　loss　of　station　to　a　loss　of　honesty。
　　In　the　eyes　of　many　persons　whose　esteem　I　value；　I　am　still
　　worthy；　but　if　I　permitted　another　man　to　love　me；　I　should　fall
　　indeed。　The　world　is　indulgent　to　those　whose　constancy　covers；　as
　　with　a　mantle；　the　irregularity　of　their　happiness；　but　it　is
　　pitiless　to　vice。

　　You　see　I　feel　neither　disdain　nor　anger；　I　am　answering　your
　　letter　frankly　and　with　simplicity。　You　are　young；　you　are
　　ignorant　of　the　world；　you　are　carried　away　by　fancy；　you　are
　　incapable；　like　all　whose　lives　are　pure；　of　making　the
　　reflections　which　evil　suggests。　But　I　will　go　still　further。

　　Were　I　destined　to　be　the　most　humiliated　of　women；　were　I　forced
　　to　hide　fearful　sorrows；　were　I　betrayed；　abandoned；which；　thank
　　God；　is　wholly　impossible；no　one　in　this　world　would　see　me
　　more。　Yes；　I　believe　I　should　find　courage　to　kill　a　man　who；
　　seeing　me　in　that　situation；　should　talk　to　me　of　love。

　　You　now　know　my　mind　to　its　depths。　Perhaps　I　ought　to　thank　you
　　for　having　written　to　me。　After　receiving　your　letter；　and；　above
　　all；　after　making　you　this　reply；　I　could　be　at　my　ease　with　you
　　in　Camille's　house；　I　could　act　out　my　natural　self；　and　be　what
　　you　ask　of　me；　but　I　hardly　need　speak　to　you　of　the　bitter
　　ridicule　that　would　overwhelm　me　if　my　eyes　or　my　manner　ceased　to
　　express　the　sentiments　of　which　you　complain。　A　second　robbery
　　from　Camille　would　be　a　proof　of　her　want　of　power　which　no　woman
　　could　twice　forgive。　Even　if　I　loved　you；　if　I　were　blind　to　all
　　else；　if　I　forgot　all　else；　I　should　still　see　Camille！　Her　love
　　for　you　is　a　barrier　too　high　to　be　o'erleaped　by　any　power；　even
　　by　the　wings　of　an　angel；　none　but　a　devil　would　fail　to　recoil
　　before　such　treachery。　In　this；　my　dear　Calyste；　are　many　motives
　　which　delicate　and　noble　women　keep　to　themselves；　of　which　you
　　men　know　nothing；　nor　could　you　understand　them；　even　though　you
　　were　all　as　like　our　sex　as　you　yourself　appear　to　be　at　this
　　moment。

　　My　child；　you　have　a　mother　who　has　shown　you　what　you　ought　to　be
　　in　life。　She　is　pure　and　spotless；　she　fulfils　her　destiny　nobly；
　　what　I　have　heard　of　her　has　filled　my　eyes　with　tears；　and　in　the
　　depths　of　my　heart　I　envy　her。　I；　too；　might　have　been　what　she
　　is！　Calyste；　that　is　the　woman　your　wife　should　be；　and　such　
　　should　be　her　life。　I　will　never　send　you　back；　in　jest；　as　I　have
　　done；　to　that　little　Charlotte；　who　would　weary　you　to　death；　but
　　I　do　commend　you　to　some　divine　young　girl　who　is　worthy　of　your
　　love。

　　If　I　were　yours；　your　life　would　be　blighted。　You　would　have　given
　　me　your　whole　existence；　and　Iyou　see；　I　am　frankI　should　have
　　taken　it；　I　should　have　gone　with　you；　Heaven　knows　where；　far
　　from　the　world！　But　I　should　have　made　you　most　unhappy；　for　I　am
　　jealous。　I　see　lions　lurking　in　the　path；　and　monsters　in　drops　of
　　water。　I　am　made　wretched　by　trifles　that　most　women　put　up　with；
　　inexorable　thoughtsfrom　my　heart；　not　yourswould　poison　our
　　existence　and　destroy　my　life。　If　a　man；　after　ten　years'
　　happiness；　were　not　as　respectful　and　as　delicate　as　he　was　to　me
　　at　first；　I　should　resent　the　change；　it　would　abase　me　in　my　own
　　eyes！　Such　a　lover　could　not　believe　in　the　Amadis　and　the　Cyrus
　　of　my　dreams。　To…day　true　love　is　but　a　dream；　not　a　reality。　I
　　see　in　yours　only　the　joy　of　a　desire　the　end　of　which　is；　as　yet；
　　unperceived　by　you。

　　For　myself；　I　am　not　forty　years　old；　I　have　not　bent　my　pride
　　beneath　the　yoke　of　experience；in　short；　I　am　a　woman　too　young
　　to　be　anything　but　odious。　I　will　not　answer　for　my　temper；　my
　　grace　and　charm　are　all　external。　Perhaps　I　have　not　yet　suffered
　　enough　to　have　the　indulgent　manners　and　the　absolute　tenderness
　　which　come　to　us　from　cruel　disappointments。　Happiness　has　its
　　insolence；　and　I；　I　fear；　am　insolent。　Camille　will　be　always　your
　　devoted　slave；　I　should　be　an　unreasonable　tyrant。　Besides；
　　Camille　was　brought　to　you　by　your　guardian　angel；　at　the　turning
　　point　of　your　life；　to　show　you　the　career　you　ought　to　follow；a
　　career　in　which　you　cannot　fail。

　　I　know　Felicite！　her　tenderness　is　inexhaustible；　she　may　ignore
　　the　graces　of　our　sex；　but　she　possesses　that　fruitful　strength；
　　that　genius　for　constancy；　that　noble　intrepidity　which　makes　us
　　willing　to　accept　the　rest。　She　will　marry　you　to　some　young　girl；
　　no　matter　what　she　suffers。　She　will　find　you　a　free　Beatrixif
　　it　is　a　Beatrix　indeed　who　answers　to　your　desires　in　a　wife；　and
　　to　your　dreams；　she　will　smooth　all　the　difficulties　in　your　way。
　　The　sale　of　a　single　acre　of　her　ground　in　Paris　would　free　your
　　property　in　Brittany；　she　will　make　you　her　heir；　are　you　not
　　already　her　son　by　adoption？

　　Alas！　what　could　I　do　for　your　happiness？　Nothing。　Do　not　betray
　　that　infinite　love　which　contents　itself　with　the　duties　of
　　motherhood。　Ah！　I　think　her　very　fortunate；　my　Camille！　She　can
　　well　afford　to　forgive　your　feeling　for　poor　Beatrix；　women　of　her
　　age　are　indulgent　to　such　fancies。　When　they　are　sure　of　being
　　loved；　they　will　pardon　a　passing　infidelity；　in　fact；　it　is　often
　　one　of　their　keenest　pleasures　to　triumph　over　a　younger　rival。
　　Camille　is　above　such　women；　and　that　remark　does　not　refer　to
　　her；　but　I　make　it　to　ease　your　mind。

　　I　have　studied　Camille　closely；　she　is；　to　my　eyes；　one　of　the
　　greatest　women　of　our　age。　She　has　mind　and　she　has　goodness；two
　　qualities　almost　irreconcilable　in　woman；　she　is　generous　and
　　simple；two　other　grandeurs　seldom　found　together　in　our　sex。　I
　　have　seen　in　the　depths　of　her　soul　such　treasures　that　the
　　beautiful　line　of　Dante　on　eternal　happiness；　which　I　heard　her
　　interpreting　to　you　the　other　day；　〃Senza　brama　sicura　ricchezza；〃
　　seems　as　if　made　for　her。　She　has　talked　to　me　of　her　career；　she
　　has　related　her　life；　showing　me　how　love；　that　object　of　our
　　prayers；　our　dreams；　has　ever　eluded　her。　I　replied　that　she
　　seemed　to　me　an　instance　of　the　difficulty；　if　not　the
　　impossibility；　of　uniting　in　one　person　two　great　glories。

　　You；　Calyste；　are　one　of　the　angelic　souls　whose　mate　it　seems
　　impossi