beatrix-第54部分

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lights　favorable　to　faded　faces；　so　Sabine　had　a　screen；　but　hers　was
of　glass　and　of　Israelitish　splendor。

〃From　what　quarter　will　the　next　storm　come？〃　she　said　to　herself。

These　indirect　comparisons　with　his　mistress　were　not　yet　at　an　end。
When　Calyste　dined　at　home　he　ate　his　dinner　in　a　way　to　drive　Sabine
frantic；　he　would　motion　to　the　servants　to　take　away　his　plates　after
pecking　at　two　or　three　mouthfuls。

〃Wasn't　it　good？〃　Sabine　would　ask；　in　despair　at　seeing　all　the　pains
she　had　taken　in　conference　with　her　cook　thrown　away。

〃I　don't　say　that；　my　angel；〃　replied　Calyste；　without　anger；　〃I　am
not　hungry；　that　is　all。〃

A　woman　consumed　by　a　legitimate　passion；　who　struggles　thus；　falls　at
last　into　a　fury　of　desire　to　get　the　better　of　her　rival；　and　often
goes　too　far；　even　in　the　most　secret　regions　of　married　life。　So
cruel；　burning；　and　incessant　a　combat　in　the　obvious　and；　as　we　may
call　them；　exterior　matters　of　a　household　must　needs　become　more
intense　and　desperate　in　the　things　of　the　heart。　Sabine　studied　her
attitudes；　her　toilets；　she　took　heed　about　herself　in　all　the
infinitely　little　trifles　of　love。

The　cooking　trouble　lasted　nearly　a　month。　Sabine；　assisted　by
Mariotte　and　Gasselin；　invented　various　little　vaudeville　schemes　to
ascertain　the　dishes　which　Madame　de　Rochefide　served　to　Calyste。
Gasselin　was　substituted　for　Calyste's　groom；　who　had　fallen
conveniently　ill。　This　enabled　Gasselin　to　consort　with　Madame　de
Rochefide's　cook；　and　before　long；　Sabine　gave　Calyste　the　same　fare；
only　better；　but　still　he　made　difficulties。

〃What　is　wanting　now？〃　she　said。

〃Oh；　nothing；〃　he　answered；　looking　round　the　table　for　something　he
did　not　find。

〃Ah！〃　exclaimed　Sabine；　as　she　woke　the　next　morning；　〃Calyste　wanted
some　of　those　Indian　sauces　they　serve　in　England　in　cruets。　Madame　de
Rochefide　accustoms　him　to　all　sorts　of　condiments。〃

She　bought　the　English　cruets　and　the　spiced　sauces；　but　it　soon
became　impossible　for　her　to　make　such　discoveries　in　all　the
preparations　invented　by　her　rival。

This　period　lasted　some　months；　which　is　not　surprising　when　we
remember　the　sort　of　attraction　presented　by　such　a　struggle。　It　is
life。　And　that　is　preferable；　with　its　wounds　and　its　anguish；　to　the
gloomy　darkness　of　disgust；　to　the　poison　of　contempt；　to　the　void　of
abdication；　to　that　death　of　the　heart　which　is　called　indifference。
But　all　Sabine's　courage　abandoned　her　one　evening　when　she　appeared
in　a　toilet　such　as　women　are　inspired　to　wear　in　the　hope　of
eclipsing　a　rival；　and　about　which　Calyste　said；　laughing：

〃In　spite　of　all　you　can　do；　Sabine；　you'll　never　be　anything　but　a
handsome　Andalusian。〃

〃Alas！〃　she　said；　dropping　on　a　sofa；　〃I　may　never　make　myself　a
blonde；　but　I　know　if　this　continues　I　shall　soon　be　thirty…five　years
old。〃

She　refused　to　go　to　the　Opera　as　she　intended；　and　chose　to　stay　at
home　the　whole　evening。　But　once　alone　she　pulled　the　flowers　from　her
hair　and　stamped　upon　them；　she　tore　off　the　gown　and　scarf　and
trampled　them　underfoot；　like　a　goat　caught　in　the　tangle　of　its
tether；　which　struggles　till　death　comes。　Then　she　went　to　bed。



XXI

THE　WICKEDNESS　OF　A　GOOD　WOMAN

Playing　for　these　terrible　stakes　Sabine　grew　thin；　grief　consumed
her；　but　she　never　for　a　moment　forsook　the　role　she　had　imposed　upon
herself。　Sustained　by　a　sort　of　fever；　her　lips　drove　back　into　her
throat　the　bitter　words　that　pain　suggested；　she　repressed　the
flashing　of　her　glorious　dark　eyes；　and　made　them　soft　even　to
humility。　But　her　failing　health　soon　became　noticeable。　The　duchess；
an　excellent　mother；　though　her　piety　was　becoming　more　and　more
Portuguese；　recognized　a　moral　cause　in　the　physically　weak　condition
in　which　Sabine　now　took　satisfaction。　She　knew　the　exact　state　of　the
relation　between　Beatrix　and　Calyste；　and　she　took　great　pains　to　draw
her　daughter　to　her　own　house；　partly　to　soothe　the　wounds　of　her
heart；　but　more　especially　to　drag　her　away　from　the　scene　of　her
martyrdom。　Sabine；　however；　maintained　the　deepest　silence　for　a　long
time　about　her　sorrows；　fearing　lest　some　one　might　meddle　between
herself　and　Calyste。　She　declared　herself　happy！　At　the　height　of　her
misery　she　recovered　her　pride；　and　all　her　virtues。

But　at　last；　after　some　months　during　which　her　sister　Clotilde　and
her　mother　had　caressed　and　petted　her；　she　acknowledged　her　grief；
confided　her　sorrows；　cursed　life；　and　declared　that　she　saw　death
coming　with　delirious　joy。　She　begged　Clotilde；　who　was　resolved　to
remain　unmarried；　to　be　a　mother　to　her　little　Calyste；　the　finest
child　that　any　royal　race　could　desire　for　heir　presumptive。

One　evening；　as　she　sat　with　her　young　sister　Athenais　（whose　marriage
to　the　Vicomte　de　Grandlieu　was　to　take　place　at　the　end　of　Lent）；　and
with　Clotilde　and　the　duchess；　Sabine　gave　utterance　to　the　supreme
cries　of　her　heart's　anguish；　excited　by　the　pangs　of　a　last
humiliation。

〃Athenais；〃　she　said；　when　the　Vicomte　Juste　de　Grandlieu　departed　at
eleven　o'clock；　〃you　are　going　to　marry；　let　my　example　be　a　warning
to　you。　Consider　it　a　crime　to　display　your　best　qualities；　resist　the
pleasure　of　adorning　yourself　to　please　Juste。　Be　calm；　dignified；
cold；　measure　the　happiness　you　give　by　that　which　you　receive。　This
is　shameful；　but　it　is　necessary。　Look　at　me。　I　perish　through　my　best
qualities。　All　that　I　/know/　was　fine　and　sacred　and　grand　within　me；
all　my　virtues；　were　rocks　on　which　my　happiness　is　wrecked。　I　have
ceased　to　please　because　I　am　not　thirty…six　years　old。　In　the　eyes　of
some　men　youth　is　thought　an　inferiority。　There　is　nothing　to　imagine
on　an　innocent　face。　I　laugh　frankly；　and　that　is　wrong；　to　captivate
I　ought　to　play　off　the　melancholy　half…smile　of　the　fallen　angel；　who
wants　to　hide　her　yellowing　teeth。　A　fresh　complexion　is　monotonous；
some　men　prefer　their　doll's　wax　made　of　rouge　and　spermaceti　and　cold
cream。　I　am　straightforward；　but　duplicity　is　more　pleasing。　I　am
loyally　passionate；　as　an　honest　woman　may　be；　but　I　ought　to　be
manoeuvring；　tricky；　hypocritical；　and　simulate　a　coldness　I　have　not；
like　any　provincial　actress。　I　am　intoxicated　with　the　happiness　of
having　married　one　of　the　most　charming　men　in　France；　I　tell　him；
naively；　how　distinguished　he　is；　how　graceful　his　movements　are；　how
handsome　I　think　him；　but　to　please　him　I　ought　to　turn　away　my　head
with　pretended　horror；　to　love　nothing　with　real　love；　and　tell　him
his　distinction　is　mere　sickliness。　I　have　the　misfortune　to　admire
all　beautiful　things　without　setting　myself　up　for　a　wit　by　caustic
and　envious　criticism　of　whatever　shines　from　poesy　and　beauty。　I
don't　seek　to　make　Canalis　and　Nathan　say　of　/me/　in　verse　and　prose
that　my　intellect　is　superior。　I'm　only　a　poor　little　artless　child；　I
care　only　for　Calyste。　Ah！　if　I　had　scoured　the　world　like　/her/；　if　I
had　said　as　/she/　has　said；　〃I　love；〃　in　every　language　of　Europe；　I
should　be　consoled；　I　should　be　pitied；　I　should　be　adored　for　serving
the　regal　Macedonian　with　cosmopolitan　love！　We　are　thanked　for　our
tenderness　if　we　set　it　in　relief　against　our　vice。　And　I；　a　noble
woman；　must　teach　myself　impurity　and　all　the　tricks　of　prostitutes！
And　Calyste　is　the　dupe　of　such　grimaces！　Oh；　mother！　oh；　my　dear
Clotilde！　I　feel　that　I　have　got　my　death…blow。　My　pride　is　only　a
sham　buckler；　I　am　without　defence　against　my　misery；　I　love　my
husband　madly；　and　yet　to　bring　him　back　to　me　I　must　borrow　the
wisdom　of　indifference。〃

〃Silly　girl；〃　whispered　Clotilde；　〃let　him　think　you　will　avenge
yourself〃

〃I　wish　to　die　irreproachable　and　without　the　mere　semblance　of　doing
wrong；〃　replied　Sabine。　〃A　woman's　vengeance　should　be　worthy　of　her
love。〃

〃My　child；〃　said　the　duchess　to　her　daughter；　〃a　mother　must　of　course
see　life　more　coolly　than　you　can　see　it。　Love　is　not　the　end；　but　the
means；　of　the　Family。　Do　not　imitate　that　poor　Baronne　de　Macumer。
Excessive　passion　is　unfruitful　and　deadly。　And　remember；　God　sends　us
afflictions　with　knowledge　of　our　needs。　Now　that　Athenais'　marriage
is　arranged；　I　can　give　all　my　thoughts　to　you。　In　fact；　I　have
already　talked　of　this　delicate　crisis　in　your　life　with　your　father
and　the　Duc　de　Chaulieu；　and　also　with　d'Ajuda；　we　shall　certainly
find　means　to　bring　Calyste　back　to　you。〃

〃There　is　always　one　resource　with　the　Marquise　de　Rochefide；〃
remarked　Clotilde；　smiling；　to　her　sister；　〃she　never　keeps　her
adorers　long。〃

〃D'Ajuda；　my　darling；〃　continued　the　duchess；　〃was　Monsieur　de
Rochefide's　brother…in…law。　If　our　dear　confessor　approves　of　certain
little　manoeuvres　to　which　we　must　have　recourse　to　carry　out　a　plan
which　I　have　proposed　to　your　father；　I　can　guarantee　to　you　the
recovery　of　Calyste。　My　conscience　is　repugnant　to　the　use　of　such
means；　and　I　must　first　submit　them　to　the　judgment　of　the　Abbe
Brossette。　We　shall　not　wait；　my　child；　till　you　are　/in　extremis/
before　coming　to　your　relief。　Keep　a　good　heart！　Your　grief　to…night
is　so　bitter　that　my　secret　escapes　me；　but　it　is　impossible　for　me
not　to　give　you　a　little　hope。〃

〃Will　it　make　Calyste　unhappy？〃　asked　Sabine；　looking　anxiously　at　the
duchess。

〃Oh；　heavens！　shall　I　ever　be　as　silly　as　that！〃　cried　Athenais；
naively。

〃Ah；　little　girl；　you　know　nothing　of　the　precipices　down　which　our
virtue　flings　us　when　led　by　love；〃　replied　Sabine；　making　a　sort　of
moral　revelation；　so　distraught　was　she　by　her　woe。

The　speech　was　uttered　with　such　incisive　bitterness　that　the　duchess；
enlightened　by　the　tone　and　accent　and　look　of　her　daughter；　felt
certain　there　was　some　hidden　trouble。

〃My　dears；　it　is　midnight；　come；　go　to　bed；〃　she　said　to　Clotilde　and
Athenais；　whose　eyes　were　shining。

〃In　spite　of　my　thirty…five　years　I　appear　to　be　/de　trop/；〃　said
Clotilde；　laughing。　While　Athenais　kissed　her　mother；　Clotilde　leaned
over　Sabine　and　said　in　her　ear：　〃You　will　tell　what　it　is？　I'll　dine
with　you　to…morrow。　If　my　mother's　conscience　won't　let　her　act；　II
myself　will　get　Calyste　out　of　the　hands　of　the　infidels。〃

〃Well；　Sabine；〃　said　the　duchess；　taking　her　daughter