cliges-第4部分

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hate　me。　Where　shall　I　find　any　more　a　friend　；　since　these　three
are　enemies　who　belong　to　me　yet　kill　me？　My　servants　presume
overmuch　who　do　all　their　own　will　and　have　no　care　of　mine。　Now；
know　I　well　of　a　truth　from　the　action　of　those　who　have　injured
me：　that　a　good　master's　love　decays　through　keeping　bad
servants。　He　who　associates　with　a　bad　servant　cannot　fail　to
lament　it　sooner　or　later；　whatever　come　of　it。

〃Now　will　I　speak　to　you　again　of　the　arrow　which　is　given　in
trust　to　me　and　tell　you　how　it　is　made　and　cut；　but　I　fear　much
that　I　may　fail　in　the　matter；　for　the　carved　work　of　it　is　so
magnificent　that　twill　be　no　marvel　if　I　fail。　And　yet　I　will
apply　all　my　diligence　to　say　what　I　think　of　it。　The　notch　and
the　feathers　together　are　so　close　that　if　a　man　looks　well　at
them　there　is　but　one　dividing　line　like　a　narrow　parting　in　the
hair；　but　this　line　is　so　polished　and　straight；　that　without
question　there　is　nought　in　the　notch　which　can　be　improved。　The
feathers　are　of　such　a　hue　as　if　they　were　gold　or　gilded；　but
gilding　can　add　nothing；　for　the　feathers；　this　know　I　well；　were
brighter　still　than　gold。　The　feathers　are　the　blonde　tresses
that　I　saw　the　other　day　at　sea。　This　is　the　arrow　that　makes　me
love。　God！　What　a　priceless　boon！　If　a　man　could　have　such　a
treasure；　why　should　he　desire　any　other　wealth　all　his　life？　For
my　part；　I　could　swear　that　I　should　desire　nothing　more；　for
merely　the　feathers　and　the　notch　would　I　not　give　away　in
exchange　for　Antioch。　And　since　I　prize　these　two　things　so　much；
who　could　duly　appraise　the　value　of　the　rest　which　is　so　fair
and　lovable；　and　so　dear　and　so　precious；　that　I　am　desirous　and
eager　to　behold　myself　mirrored　again　in　the　brow　that　God　has
made　so　bright　that　nor　mirror　nor　emerald　nor　topaz　would　make
any　show　beside　it。　But　of　all　this；　he　who　gazes　at　the
brightness　of　the　eyes　has　not　a　word　to　say；　for　to　all　those
who　behold　them　they　seem　two　glowing　candles。　And　who　has　so
glib　a　tongue　that　he　could　describe　the　fashion　of　the
well…shaped　nose；　and　of　the　bright　countenance　where　the　rose
overlays　the　lily　so　that　it　eclipses　something　of　the　lily　in
order　the　better　to　illuminate　the　face；　and　of　the　smiling
little　mouth　which　God　made　such　on　purpose　that　no　one　should
see　it　and　not　think　that　it　is　laughing？　And　what　of　the　teeth
in　her　mouth？　One　is　so　close　to　the　other　that　it　seems　that
they　all　touch；　and　so　that　they　might　the　better　achieve　this；
Nature　bestowed　special　pains；　so　that　whoever　should　see　them
when　the　mouth　opens　would　never　dream　that　they　were　not　of
ivory　or　silver。　So　much　there　is　to　say　and　to　recount　in　the
describing　of　each　thingboth　of　the　chin　and　of　the　earsthat
it　would　be　no　great　marvel　if　I　were　to　leave　out　something。　Of
the　throat；　I　tell　you；　that　in　comparison　with　it；　crystal　is
but　dim。　And　the　neck　beneath　her　tresses　is　four　times　whiter
than　ivory。　As　much　as　is　disclosed　from　the　hem　of　the　vest
behind；　to　the　clasp　of　the　opening　in　front；　saw　I　of　the　bare
bosom　uncovered；　whiter；　than　is　the　new…fallen　snow。　My　pain
would　indeed　have　been　alleviated　if　I　could　have　seen　the　whole
of　the　arrow。　Right　willingly　if　I　had　known　would　I　have　said
what　the　tip　　of　the　arrow　is　like：　I　did　not　see　it；　and　it　is
not　my　own　fault　if　I　cannot　tell　the　fashion　of　a　thing　that　I
have　not　seen。　Love　showed　me　then　nought　of　it　except　the　notch
and　the　feathers；　for　the　arrow　was　put　in　the　quiver；　the　quiver
is　the　tunic　and　the　vest　wherewith　the　maid　was　clad。　Faith！
This　is　the　wound　that　kills　me；　this　is　the　dart；　this　is　the
ray　with　which　I　am　so　cruelly　inflamed。　It　is　ignoble　of　me　to
be　angry。　Never　for　provocation　or　for　war　shall　any　pledge　that
I　must　seek　of　love　be　broken。　Now　let　Love　dispose　of　me　as　he
ought　to　do　with　what　is　his；　for　I　wish　it；　and　this　is　my
pleasure。　Never　do　I　seek　that　this　malady　should　leave　me；
rather　do　I　wish　it　to　hold　me　thus　for　ever；　and　that　from　none
may　health　come　to　me　if　health　come　not　from　that　source　whence
the　disease　has　come。〃

Great　is　the　plaint　of　Alexander；　but　that　which　the　damsel
utters　is　not　a　whit　less。　All　night　she　is　in　so　great　pain　that
she　neither　sleeps　nor　rests。　Love　has　set　in　array　within　her　a
battle　that　rages　and　mightily　agitates　her　heart；　and　which
causes　such　anguish　and　torture　that　she　weeps　all　night　and
complains　and　tosses　and　starts　up；　so　that　her　heart　all　but
stops　beating。　And　when　she　has　so　grieved　and　sobbed　and　moaned
and　started　and　sighed；　then　she　has　looked　in　her　heart　to　see
who　and　of　what　worth　was　he　for　whose　sake　Love　was　torturing
her。　And　when　she　has　recalled　each　wandering　thought；　then　she
stretches　herself　and　turns　over；　and　turning；　she　turns　to　folly
all　the　thinking　she　has　done。　Then　she　starts　on　another
argument　and　says：　〃Fool！　What　does　it　matter　to　me　if　this　youth
is　debonair　and　wise　and　courteous　and　valiant！　All　this　is
honour　and　advantage　to　him。　And　what　care　I　for　his　beauty？　Let
his　beauty　depart　with　himand　so　it　will；　for　all　I　can　do；
never　would　I　wish　to　take　away　aught　of　it。　Take　away？　Nay；
truly；　that　do　I　not　assuredly。　If　he　had　the　wisdom　of　Solomon；
and　if　Nature　had　put　so　much　beauty　in　him　that　she　could　not
have　put　more　in　a　human　body；　and　if　God　had　put　in　my　hand　the
power　to　destroy　all；　I　would　not　seek　to　anger　him；　but
willingly　if　I　could　would　I　make　him　more　wise　and　more
beautiful。　Faith！　then；　I　do　not　hate　him　at　all。　And　am　I　then
on　that　account　his　lady？　No；　indeed；　no　more　than　I　am
another's。　And　wherefore　do　I　think　more　of　him　if　he　does　not
please　me　more　than　another？　I　know　not：　I　am　all　bewildered；　for
never　did　I　think　so　much　about　any　man　living　in　the　world。　And
if　I　had　my　wish　I　should　see　him　always；　never　would　I　seek　to
take　my　eyes　off　him　so　much　the　sight　of　him　delights　me。　Is
this　love？　Methinks　it　is。　Never　should　I　have　called　on　him　so
often　if　I　had　not　loved　him　more　than　another。　Yes；　I　love　him：
let　that　be　granted。　And　shall　I　not　have　my　desire？　Yes；
provided　that　I　find　favour　in　his　eyes。　This　desire　is　wrong；
but　Love　has　taken　such　hold　of　me　that　I　am　foolish　and　dazed
and　to　defend　myself　avails　me　nought　herein；　thus　I　must　suffer
Love's　attack。　I　have　indeed　guarded　myself　thus　wisely　and　for
long　against　Love；　never　once　before　did　I　wish　to　do　aught　for
him；　but　now　I　am　too　gracious　to　him。　And　what　thanks　does　he
owe　me；　since　he　cannot　have　service　or　kindness　of　me　by　fair
means？　It　is　by　force　that　Love　has　tamed　my　pride；　and　I　must
needs　be　subject　to　his　will。　Now　I　wish　to　love；　now　I　am　under
his　tuition；　now　will　Love　teach　me。　And　what？　How　I　ought　to
serve　him。　Of　that　am　I　right　well　apprised。　I　am　full　wise　in
his　service；　for　no　one　could　find　fault　with　me　in　this　matter。
No　need　is　there　henceforth　for　me　to　learn　more。　Love　would　have
me；　and　I　would　fain　be　wise　without　pride；　gracious　and
courteous　towards　all；　but　the　true　love　of　one　only。　Shall　I
love　them　all　for　the　sake　of　one？　A　fair　mien　should　I　show　to
each；　but　Love　does　not　bid　me　to　be　a　true　love　to　every　man。
Love　teaches　nought　but　good。　It　is　not　for　nothing　that　I　have
this　name；　and　that　I　am　called　Soredamors。　I　ought　to　love；　and
I　ought　to　be　loved；　and　I　wish　to　prove　it　by　my　name；　if　I　can
find　fitting　arguments。　It　is　not　without　meaning　that　the　first
part　of　my　name　is　the　colour　of　gold；　for　the　most　beautiful　are
the　blondest。　Therefore　I　hold　my　name　the　fairer　because　it
begins　with　the　colour　with　which　accords　the　finest　gold。　And
the　end　recalls　Love；　for　he　who　calls　me　by　my　right　name　ever
calls　Love　to　my　mind。　And　the　one　half　gilds　the　other　with
bright　and　yellow　gilding；　for　Soredamors　means　the　same　thing　as
'gilded　with　love'。　Much；　then；　has　Love　honoured　me；　since　he
has　gilded　me　with　himself。　Gilding　of　gold　is　not　so　fine　as
that　which　illumines　me。　And　I　shall　set　my　care　on　this；　that　I
may　be　of　his　gilding；　nevermore　will　I　complain　of　him。　Now　I
love　and　shall　always　love。　Whom？　Truly；　a　fine　question！　Him
whom　Love　bids　me　love；　for　no　other　shall　ever　have　my　love。
What　does　it　matter　as　he　will　never　know　it　unless　I　tell　him
myself？　What　shall　I　do　if　I　do　not　pray　him　for　his　love？　For　he
who　desires　a　thing　ought　indeed　to　request　and　pray　for　it。　How？
Shall　I　then　pray　him？　Nay；　indeed。　Why　not？　It　never　happened
that　a　woman　did　aught　so　witless　as　to　beg　a　man　for　love　unless
she　were　more　than　common　mad。　I　should　be　convicted　of　folly　if
I　said　with　my　mouth　aught　that　might　turn　to　my　reproach。　If　he
should　know　it　from　my　mouth；　I　deem　that　he　would　hold　me　the
cheaper　for　it；　and　would　often　reproach　me　with　having　been　the
first　to　pray　for　love。　Never　be　Love　so　abased　that　I　should　go
and　entreat　this　man；　since　he　would　be　bound　to　hold　me　the
cheaper　for　it。　Ah　God！　how　will　he　ever　know　it；　since　I　shall
not　tell　him？　As　yet　I　have　scarce　suffered　aught　for　which　I
need　so　distress　myself。　I　shall　wait　till　he　perceives　it；　if　he
is　ever　destined　to　perceive　it。　He　will　know　it　well　of　a　truth；
I　think；　if　ever　he　had　aught　to　do　with　Love　or　heard　tell　of　it
by　word　of　mouth。　Heard　tell！　Now　have　I　said　foolish　words。
Love's　lore　is　not　so　easy　that　a　man　becomes　wise　by　speaking　of
it　unless　good　experience　be　there　too。　Of　myself　I　know　this
well；　for　never　could　I　learn　aught　of　it　by　fair　speaking　or　by
word　of　mouth；　and　yet　I　have　been　much　at　Love's　school；　and
have　often　been　flattered；　but　always　have　I　kept　aloof　from　him；
and　now　he　makes　me　pay　dear　for　it；　for　now　I　know　more　of　it
than　an　ox　does　of　ploughing。　But　of　this　I　despairthat　he
never　loved　；　perhaps；　and　if　he　does　not　love；　and　has　not
loved；　then　have　I　been　sowing　in　the　sea　where　no　seed　can　take
root；　and　there　is　nothing　for　it　but　to　wait　for　him　and　to
suffer　till　I　see　whether　I　can　bring　him　into　the　right　way　by
hints　and　covert　words。　I　will　so　act　that　he　will　be　certain　of
having　my　love　if　he　dares　to　seek　it。　Thus　the　end　of　the　whole
matter　is　that　I　love　him　and　am　his。　If　he　does　not　love　me；　I