samantha at saratoga-第34部分

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d　be　laid　up　with　the　newmoan。　　You　know　you　would；〃　sez　I；　〃you　are　actin'　like　a　luny；　Josiah　Allen。〃　〃It　is　you　that　are　actin'　like　a　luny；〃　sez　he　bitterly。　　〃I　never　propose　anything　of　a　high　fashionable　kind　but　what　you　want　to　break　it　up。　　Why；　dumb　it　all；　you　know　as　well　as　I　do；　that　men　haint　called　as　modest　as　wimmen　anyway。　　And　if　they　have　the　name；　why　shouldn't　they　have　the　game？　　Why　shouldn't　they　go　round　half　dressed　as　well　as　wimmen　do？　　And　they　are　as　strong　agin；　if　there　is　any　danger　to　health　in　it　they　are　better　able　to　stand　it。　　But；〃　sez　he；　in　the　same　bitter　axents；　〃you　always　try　to　break　up　all　my　efforts　at　high　life　and　fashion。　　I　presume　you　won't　waltz　to…night；　nor　want　me　to。〃　I　groaned　several　times　in　spite　of　myself；　and　sithed；　〃Waltz！〃　sez　I　in　awful　axents。　　〃A　classleader！　and　a　grandfather！　and　talkin'　about　waltzin'！〃　Sez　Josiah；　〃Men　older　than　me　waltz；　and　foller　it　up。　　Put　their　arms　right　round　the　prettiest　girls　in　the　room；　hug　'em；　and　swing　'em　right　round〃　　sez　he　kinder　spoony　like。　I　said　nothin'　at　them　fearful　words；　only　my　groans　and　sithes　became　deeper　and　more　voyalent。　　And　in　a　minute　I　see　through　the　fingers　with　which　I　had　nearly　covered　my　face；　that　he　wuz　a　pullin'　down　his　shirt　sleeves　and　a　puttin'　his　jack　knife　in　his　pocket。　That　man　loves　me。　　And　love　sways　him　round　often　times　when　reesun　and　sound　argument　are　powerless。　　Now；　the　sound　reesun　of　the　case　didn't　move　him；　such　as　the　indelicacy　of　makin'　a　exhibition　of　one's　self　in　a　way　that　would；　if　displayed　in　a　heathen；　be　a　call　for　missionarys　to　convert　'em；　and　that　makes　men　blush　when　they　see　it　in　a　Christian　woman。　The　sound　reason　of　its　bein'　the　fruitful　cause　of　disease　and　death；　through　the　senseless　exposure。　The　sound　reason　of　the　worse　than　folly　of　old　and　middle…aged　folks　thinkin'　that　the　exhibition　is　a　pretty　one　when　it　haint。　The　sound　reason　of　its　bein'　inconsistent　for　a　woman　to　allow　the　familiarity　of　a　man　and　a　stranger；　a　walkin'　up　and　puttin'　his　arm　round　her；　and　huggin'　her　up　to　him　as　clost　as　he　can；　that　act；　that　a　woman　would　resent　as　a　deadly　insult　and　her　incensed　relatives　avenge　with　the　sword；　if　it　occurred　in　any　other　place　than　the　ball…room　and　at　the　sound　of　the　fiddle。　The　utter　inconsistency　of　her　meetin'　it　with　smiles；　and　making　frantic　efforts　to　get　more　such　affronts　than　any　other　woman　present　　her　male　relatives　a　lookin'　proudly　on。　The　inconsistency　of　a　man's　bein'　not　only　held　guiltless　but　applauded　for　doin'　what；　if　it　took　place　in　the　street；　or　church；　would　make　him　outlawed；　for　where　is　there　a　lot　of　manly　men　who　would　look　on　calmly；　and　see　a　sweet　young　girl　insulted　by　a　man's　ketchin'　hold　of　her　and　embracin'　of　her　tightly　for　half　an　hour；　　why；　he　would　be　turned　out　of　his　club　and　outlawed　from　Christian　homes　if　it　took　place　in　silence；　but　yet　the　sound　of　a　fiddle　makes　it　all　right。　And　I　sez　to　myself　mildly；　as　I　sot　there；　〃Is　it　that　men　and　wimmen　lose　their　senses；　or　is　there　a　sacredness　in　the　strains　of　that　fiddle；　that　makes　immodesty　modest；　indecency　decent；　and　immorality　moral？〃　　And　agin　I　sithe　heavy　and　gin　3　deep　groans。　And　I　see　Josiah　gin　in。　　All　the　sound　reasons　weighed　as　nothin'　with　him；　but　2　or　3　groans；　and　a　few　sithes　settled　the　matter。　Truly　Love　is　a　mighty　conqueror。　And　anon　Josiah　spoke　and　sez；　〃Wall；　I　s'pose　I　can　gin　it　all　up；　if　you　feel　so　about　it；　but　we　shall　act　like　fools；　Samantha；　and　look　like　'em。〃　Sez　I　sternly；　〃Better　be　fools　than　naves；　Josiah　Allen！　if　we　have　got　to　be　one　or　the　other；　but　we　haint。　　We　are　a　standin'　on　firm　ground；　Josiah　Allen；〃　sez　I。　　〃The　platform　made　of　the　boards　of　consistency；　and　common　sense；　and　decency；　is　one　that　will　never　break　down　and　let　you　through　it；　into　gulfs　and　abysses。　　And　on　that　platform　we　will　both　stand　to…night；　dear　Josiah。〃　I　think　it　is　always　best　when　a　pardner　has　gin　in　and　you　have　had　a　triumph　of　principle；　to　be　bland；　blander　than　common　to　him。　　I　always　love　at　such　times　to　round　my　words　to　him　with　a　sweet　affectionateness　of　mean。　　I　love　to；　and　he　loves　it。　We　sot　out　in　good　season　for　the　Garden　party。　　And　it　wuz　indeed　a　sight　to　behold！　　But　I　did　not　at　that　first　minute　have　a　chance　to　sense　it；　for　Miss　Flamm　sent　her　hired　girl　out　to　ask　me　to　come　to　her　room　for　a　few　minutes。　　Miss　Flamm's　house　is　a　undergoin'　repairs　for　a　few　weeks；　sunthin'　had　gin　out　in　the　water　works；　so　she　and　her　hired　girl　have　been　to　this　tarven　for　the　time　bein'。　　The　hired　girl　got　us　some　good　seats　and　tellin'　Josiah　to　keep　one　on　'em　for　me；　I　follered　the　girl；　or　〃maid；〃　as　Miss　Flamm　calls　her。　　But　good　land！　if　she　is　a　old　maid；　I　don't　see　where　the　young　ones　be。　Miss　Flamm　had　sent　for　me；　so　she　said；　to　see　if　I　wanted　to　ride　out　the　next　day；　and　what　time　would　be　the　most　convenient　to　me；　and　also；　to　see　how　I　liked　her　dress。　　She　didn't　know　as　she　should　see　me　down　below；　in　the　crowd；　and　she　wanted　me　to　see　it。　　（Miss　Flamm　uses　me　dretful　well；　but　I　s'pose　2/3ds　of　it；　is　on　Thomas　J's　account。　　Some　folks　think　she　is　goin'　to　have　another　lawsuit；　and　I　am　glad　enough　to　have　him　convey　her　lawsuits；　for　they　are　good；　honerable　ones；　and　she　pays　him　splendid　for　carryin'　'em。）　Wall；　she　had　her　skirts　all　on　when　I　went　in；　all　a　foamin'　and　a　shinin'；　down　onto　the　carpet；　in　a　glitterin'　pile　of　pink　satin　and　white　lace　and　posys。　　Gorgus　enough　for　a　princess。　And　I　didn't　mind　it　much；　bein'　only　females　present；　if　she　wuz　exposin'　of　herself　a　good　deal。　　I　kinder　blushed　a　little　as　I　looked　at　her；　and　kep'　my　eyes　down　on　her　skirts　all　I　could；　and　thinkses　I　to　myself；　　〃What　if　G。　Washington　should　come　in？　　I　shouldn't　know　which　way　to　look。〃　　But　then　the　very　next　minute；　I　says　to　myself；　〃Of　course　he　won't　be　in　till　she　gets　her　waist　on。　　I'm　a　borrowin'　trouble　for　nothin'。〃　At　last　Miss　Flamm　spoke　and　says　she；　as　she　kinder　craned　herself　before　the　glass；　a　lookin'　at　her　back　（most　the　hull　length　on　it　bare；　as　I　am　a　livin'　creeter）；　and　says　she；；〃　How　do　you　like　my　dress？〃　〃Oh；〃　says　I；　wantin'　to　make　myself　agreeable　（both　on　account　of　principle；　and　the　lawsuit）；　〃the　skirts　are　beautiful　but　I　can't　judge　how　the　hull　dress　looks；　you　know；　till　you　get　your　waist　on。〃　〃My　waist？〃　says　she。　〃Yes；〃　says　I。　〃I　have　got　it　on；〃　says　she。　〃Where　is　it？〃　says　I；　a　lookin'　at　her　closer　through　my　specks；　〃Where　is　the　waist？〃　〃Here；〃　says　she；　a　pintin'　to　a　pink　belt　ribbon；　and　a　string　of　beads　over　each　shoulder。　Says　I；　〃Miss　Flamm；　do　you　call　that　a　waist？〃　〃Yes；〃　says　she；　and　she　balanced　herself　on　her　little　pink　tottlin'　slippers。　　She　couldn't　walk　in　'em　a　good　honerable　walk　to　save　her　life。　　How　could　she；　with　the　instep　not　over　two　inches　acrost；　and　the　heels　right　under　the　middle　of　her　foot；　more'n　a　finger　high？　　Good　land；　they　wuz　enuff　to　lame　a　Injun　savage；　and　curb　him　in。　　But　she　sort　o'　balanced　herself　unto　'em；　the　best　she　could；　and　put　her　hands　round　her　waist　　it　wuzn't　much　bigger　than　a　pipe…stem；　and　sort　o'　bulgin'　out　both　ways；　above　and　below；　some　like　a　string　tied　tight　round　a　piller；　…　and　says　she　complacently；　〃I　don't　believe　there　will　be　a　dress　shown　to…night　more　stylish　and　beautiful　than　mine。〃　Says　I；　〃Do　you　tell　me；　Miss　Flamm；　that　you　are　a　goin'　down　into　that　crowd　of　promiscus　men　and　women；　with　nothin'　but　them　strings　on　to　cover　you？〃　　Says　I；　〃Do　you　tell　me　that；　and　you　a　perfesser　and　a　Christian？〃　〃Yes；〃　says　she；　〃I　paid　300　dollars　for　this　dress；　and　it　haint　likely　I　am　goin'　to　miss　the　chance　of　showin'　it　off　to　the　other　wimmen　who　will　envy　me　the　possession　of　it。　　To　be　sure；〃　says　she；　〃it　is　a　little　lower　than　Americans　usually　wear。　　But　in　fashion；　as　in　anything　else；　somebody　has　got　to　go　ahead。　This　is　the　very　heighth　of　fashion；〃　says　she。　Says　I　in　witherin'　and　burnin'　skorn；　〃It　is　the　heighth　of　immodesty。〃　And　I　jest　turned　my　back　right　ont'　her；　and　sailed　out　of　the　room。　　I　wuzn't　a　a　goin'　to　stand　that；　lawsuit　or　no　lawsuit。　　I　wuz　all　worked　up　in　my　mind；　and　by　the　side　of　myself；　and　I　didn't　get　over　it　for　some　time；　neither。　Wall；　I　found　my　companion　seated　in　that　comfertable　place；　and　a　keepin'　my　chair　for　me；　and　so　I　sot　down　by　him；　and　truly　we　sot　still；　and　see　the　glory；　and　the　magnificence　on　every　side　on　us。　　There　wuz　3　piazzas　about　as　long　as　from　our　house　to　Jonesville；　or　from　Jonesville　to　Loontown；　all　filled　with　folks　magnificently　dressed；　and　a　big　garden　layin'　between　'em　about　as　big　as　from　our　house　to　Miss　Gowdey's；　and　so　round　crossways　to　Alminy　Hagidone's　brother's；　and　back　agin'。　　It　wuz　full　as　fur　as　that；　and　you　know　well　that　that　is　a　great　distance。　There　wuz　some　big　noble　trees；　all　twinklin'　full　of　lights；　of　every　coler；　and　rows　of　shinin'　lights；　criss…crossed　every　way；　or　that　is；　every　beautiful　way；　from　the　high　ornimental　pillers　of　the　immense　house；　that　loomed　up　in　the　distance　round　us　on　every　side；　same　as　the　mountains　loom　up　round　Loontown。　There　wuz　a　big　platform　built　in　the　middle　of　the　garden；　with　sweet　music　discoursin'　from　it　the　most　enchantin'　strains。　　And　the　fountains　wuz　sprayin'　out　the　most　beautiful　colers　you　ever　see　in　your　life；　and　fallin'　down　in　pink；　and　yellow；　and　gold；　and　green；　and　amber；　and　silver　water；　sparklin'　down　onto　the　green　beautiful　ferns　and　flowers　that　loved　to　grow　round　the　big　marble　basin　which　shone　white；　risin'　out　of　the　green　velvet　of　the　grass。　Josiah　looked　at　that　water；　and　sez　he；　〃Samantha；　I'd　love　to　get　some　of　that　water　to　pass　round　evenin's　when　we　have　company。〃　　Sez　he；　〃It　would　look　so　dressy　and　fashionable　to　pass　round　pink　water；　or　light　blue；　or　light　yeller。　　How　it　would　make　Uncle　Nate　Gowdey　open　his　eyes。　　I　believe　I　shall　buy　some　bottles　of　it；　Samantha；　to　take　home。　　What　do　you　say？　I　don't　suppose　it　would　cost　such　a　dretful　sight；　do　you？〃　Sez　he；　〃I　s'pose　all　they　have　to　do　is　to　put　pumps　down　into　a　pink　spring；　or　a　yeller　one；　as　the　case　may　be；　and　pump。　　And　I　would　be　willin'　to　pump　it　up　my