fantastic fables-第6部分

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disputing　about　an　island　which　both　claimed。　　Finally；　at　the　



suggestion　of　the　International　League　of　Cannon　Founders；　which　



had　important　branches　in　both　countries；　they　decided　to　refer　



their　claims　to　the　Bumbo　of　Jiam；　and　abide　by　his　judgment。　　In　



settling　the　preliminaries　of　the　arbitration　they　had；　however；　



the　misfortune　to　disagree；　and　appealed　to　arms。　　At　the　end　of　a　



long　and　disastrous　war；　when　both　sides　were　exhausted　and　



bankrupt；　the　Bumbo　of　Jiam　intervened　in　the　interest　of　peace。







〃My　great　and　good　friends；〃　he　said　to　his　brother　sovereigns；　〃it　



will　be　advantageous　to　you　to　learn　that　some　questions　are　more　



complex　and　perilous　than　others；　presenting　a　greater　number　of　



points　upon　which　it　is　possible　to　differ。　　For　four　generations　



your　royal　predecessors　disputed　about　possession　of　that　island；　



without　falling　out。　　Beware；　oh；　beware　the　perils　of　



international　arbitration！　…　against　which　I　feel　it　my　duty　to　



protect　you　henceforth。〃







So　saying；　he　annexed　both　countries；　and　after　a　long；　peaceful；　



and　happy　reign　was　poisoned　by　his　Prime　Minister。















The　Two　Poets















Two　Poets　were　quarrelling　for　the　Apple　of　Discord　and　the　Bone　of　



Contention；　for　they　were　very　hungry。







〃My　sons；〃　said　Apollo；　〃I　will　part　the　prizes　between　you。　　You；〃　



he　said　to　the　First　Poet；　〃excel　in　Art　…　take　the　Apple。　　And　



you；〃　he　said　to　the　Second　Poet；　〃in　Imagination　…　take　the　Bone。〃







〃To　Art　the　best　prize！〃　said　the　First　Poet；　triumphantly；　and　



endeavouring　to　devour　his　award　broke　all　his　teeth。　　The　Apple　



was　a　work　of　Art。







〃That　shows　our　Master's　contempt　for　mere　Art；〃　said　the　Second　



Poet；　grinning。







Thereupon　he　attempted　to　gnaw　his　Bone；　but　his　teeth　passed　



through　it　without　resistance。　　It　was　an　imaginary　Bone。















The　Thistles　upon　the　Grave















A　MIND　Reader　made　a　wager　that　he　would　be　buried　alive　and　remain　



so　for　six　months；　then　be　dug　up　alive。　　In　order　to　secure　the　



grave　against　secret　disturbance；　it　was　sown　with　thistles。　　At　



the　end　of　three　months；　the　Mind　Reader　lost　his　money。　　He　had　



come　up　to　eat　the　thistles。















The　Shadow　of　the　Leader















A　POLITICAL　Leader　was　walking　out　one　sunny　day；　when　he　observed　



his　Shadow　leaving　him　and　walking　rapidly　away。







〃Come　back　here；　you　scoundrel；〃　he　cried。







〃If　I　had　been　a　scoundrel；〃　answered　the　Shadow；　increasing　its　



speed；　〃I　should　not　have　left　you。〃















The　Sagacious　Rat















A　RAT　that　was　about　to　emerge　from　his　hole　caught　a　glimpse　of　a　



Cat　waiting　for　him；　and　descending　to　the　colony　at　the　bottom　of　



the　hole　invited　a　Friend　to　join　him　in　a　visit　to　a　neighbouring　



corn…bin。　　〃I　would　have　gone　alone；〃　he　said；　〃but　could　not　deny　



myself　the　pleasure　of　such　distinguished　company。〃







〃Very　well；〃　said　the　Friend；　〃I　will　go　with　you。　　Lead　on。〃







〃Lead？〃　exclaimed　the　other。　　〃What！　　I　precede　so　great　and　



illustrious　a　rat　as　you？　No；　indeed　…　after　you；　sir；　after　you。〃







Pleased　with　this　great　show　of　deference；　the　Friend　went　ahead；　



and；　leaving　the　hole　first；　was　caught　by　the　Cat；　who　immediately　



trotted　away　with　him。　　The　other　then　went　out　unmolested。















The　Member　and　the　Soap















A　MEMBER　of　the　Kansas　Legislature　meeting　a　Cake　of　Soap　was　



passing　it　by　without　recognition；　but　the　Cake　of　Soap　insisted　on　





stopping　and　shaking　hands。　　Thinking　it　might　possibly　be　in　the　



enjoyment　of　the　elective　franchise；　he　gave　it　a　cordial　and　



earnest　grasp。　　On　letting　it　go　he　observed　that　a　portion　of　it　



adhered　to　his　fingers；　and　running　to　a　brook　in　great　alarm　he　



proceeded　to　wash　it　off。　　In　doing　so　he　necessarily　got　some　on　



the　other　hand；　and　when　he　had　finished　washing；　both　were　so　



white　that　he　went　to　bed　and　sent　for　a　physician。















Alarm　and　Pride















〃GOOD…MORNING；　my　friend；〃　said　Alarm　to　Pride；　〃how　are　you　this　



morning？〃







〃Very　tired；〃　replied　Pride；　seating　himself　on　a　stone　by　the　



wayside　and　mopping　his　steaming　brow。　　〃The　politicians　are　



wearing　me　out　by　pointing　to　their　dirty　records　with　ME；　when　



they　could　as　well　use　a　stick。〃







Alarm　sighed　sympathetically；　and　said：







〃It　is　pretty　much　the　same　way　here。　　Instead　of　using　an　opera…



glass　they　view　the　acts　of　their　opponents　with　ME！〃







As　these　patient　drudges　were　mingling　their　tears；　they　were　



notified　that　they　must　go　on　duty　again；　for　one　of　the　political　



parties　had　nominated　a　thief　and　was　about　to　hold　a　gratification　



meeting。















A　Causeway















A　RICH　Woman　having　returned　from　abroad　disembarked　at　the　foot　of　



Knee…deep　Street；　and　was　about　to　walk　to　her　hotel　through　the　



mud。







〃Madam；〃　said　a　Policeman；　〃I　cannot　permit　you　to　do　that；　you　



would　soil　your　shoes　and　stockings。〃







〃Oh；　that　is　of　no　importance；　really；〃　replied　the　Rich　Woman；　



with　a　cheerful　smile。







〃But；　madam；　it　is　needless；　from　the　wharf　to　the　hotel；　as　you　



observe；　extends　an　unbroken　line　of　prostrate　newspaper　men　who　



crave　the　honour　of　having　you　walk　upon　them。〃







〃In　that　case；〃　she　said；　seating　herself　in　a　doorway　and　



unlocking　her　satchel；　〃I　shall　have　to　put　on　my　rubber　boots。〃















Two　in　Trouble















MEETING　a　fat　and　patriotic　Statesman　on　his　way　to　Washington　to　



beseech　the　President　for　an　office；　an　idle　Tramp　accosted　him　and　



begged　twenty…five　cents　with　which　to　buy　a　suit　of　clothes。







〃Melancholy　wreck；〃　said　the　Statesman；　〃what　brought　you　to　this　



state　of　degradation？　　Liquor；　I　suppose。〃







〃I　am　temperate　to　the　verge　of　absurdity；〃　replied　the　Tramp。　　〃My　



foible　was　patriotism；　I　was　ruined　by　the　baneful　habit　of　trying　



to　serve　my　country。　　What　ruined　you？〃







〃Indolence。〃















The　Witch's　Steed















A　BROOMSTICK　which　had　long　served　a　witch　as　a　steed　complained　of　



the　nature　of　its　employment；　which　it　thought　degrading。







〃Very　well；〃　said　the　Witch；　〃I　will　give　you　work　in　which　you　



will　be　associated　with　intellect　…　you　will　come　in　contact　with　



brains。　　I　shall　present　you　to　a　housewife。〃







〃What！〃　said　the　Broomstick；　〃do　you　consider　the　hands　of　a　



housewife　intellectual？〃







〃I　referred；〃　said　the　Witch；　〃to　the　head　of　her　good　man。〃















The　All　Dog















A　LION　seeing　a　Poodle　fell　into　laughter　at　the　ridiculous　



spectacle。







〃Who　ever　saw　so　small　a　beast？〃　he　said。







〃It　is　very　true；〃　said　the　Poodle；　with　austere　dignity；　〃that　I　



am　small；　but；　sir；　I　beg　to　observe　that　I　am　all　dog。〃















The　Farmer's　Friend















A　GREAT　Philanthropist　who　had　thought　of　himself　in　connection　



with　the　Presidency　and　had　introduced　a　bill　into　Congress　



requiring　the　Government　to　loan　every　voter　all　the　money　that　he　



needed；　on　his　personal　security；　was　explaining　to　a　Sunday…school　



at　a　railway　station　how　much　he　had　done　for　the　country；　when　an　



angel　looked　down　from　Heaven　and　wept。







〃For　example；〃　said　the　Great　Philanthropist；　watching　the　



teardrops　pattering　in　the　dust；　〃these　early　rains　are　of　



incalculable　advantage　to　the　farmer。〃















Physicians　Two















A　WICKED　Old　Man　finding　himself　ill　sent　for　a　Physician；　who　



prescribed　for　him　and　went　away。　　Then　the　Wicked　Old　Man　sent　for　



another　Physician；　saying　nothing　of　the　first；　and　an　entirely　



different　treatment　was　ordered。　　This　continued　for　some　weeks；　



the　physicians　visiting　him　on　alternate　days　and　treating　him　for　



two　different　disorders；　with　constantly　enlarging　doses　of　



medicine　and　more　and　more　rigorous　nursing。　　But　one　day　they　



accidently　met　at　his　bedside　while　he　slept；　and　the　truth　coming　



out　a　violent　quarrel　ensued。







〃My　good　friends；〃　said　the　patient；　awakened　by　the　noise　of　the　



dispute；　and　apprehending　the　cause　of　it；　〃pray　be　more　



reasonable。　　If　I　could　for　weeks　endure　you　both；　can　you　not　for　



a　little　while　endure　each　other？　　I　have　been　well　for　ten　days；　



but　have　remained　in　bed　in　the　hope　of　gaining　by　repose　the　



strength　that　would　justify　me　in　taking　your　medicines。　　So　far　I　



have　touched　none　of　it。〃















The　Overlooked　Factor















A　MAN　that　owned　a　fine　Dog；　and　by　a　careful　selection　of　its　mate　



had　bred　a　number　of　animals　but　a　little　lower　than　the　angels；　



fell　in　love　with　his　washerwoman；　married　her；　and　reared　a　family　



of　dolts。







〃Alas！〃　he　exclaimed；　contemplating　the　melancholy　result；　〃had　I　



but　chosen　a　mate　for　myself　with　half　the　care　that　I　did　for　my　



Dog　I　should　now　be　a　proud　and　happy　father。〃







〃I'm　not　so　sure　of　that；〃　said　the　Dog；　overhearing　the　lament。　　



〃There's　a　difference；　certainly；　between　your　whelps　and　mine；　but　



I　venture　to　flatter　myself　that　it　is　not　due　altogether　to　the　



mothers。　　You　and　I　are　not　entirely　alike　ourselves。〃















A　Racial　Parallel















SOME　White　Christians　engaged　in　driving　Chinese　Heathens　out　of　an　



American　town　found　a　newspaper　published　in　Peking　in　the　Chinese　



tongue；　and　compelled　one　of　their　victims　to　translate　an　



editorial。　　It　turned　out　to　be　an　appeal　to　the　people　of　the　



Province　of　Pang　Ki　to　drive　the　foreig