michael-第32部分

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e　could　be　pointedly　ignored；　and　the　resplendent　dinner；　with　its　six　footmen　and　its　silver　service；　was　not　really　more　joyless　than　usual。　　But　his　father's　majestic　displeasure　was　more　apparent　when　the　three　men　sat　alone　afterwards；　and　it　was　in　dead　silence　that　port　was　pushed　round　and　cigarettes　handed。　　Francis；　it　is　true；　made　a　couple　of　efforts　to　enliven　things；　but　his　remarks　produced　no　response　whatever　from　his　uncle；　and　he　subsided　into　himself；　thinking　with　regret　of　what　an　amusing　evening　he　would　have　had　if　he　had　only　stopped　in　town。　　But　when　they　rose　Michael　signed　to　his　cousin　to　go　on；　and　planted　himself　firmly　in　the　path　to　the　door。　　It　was　evident　that　his　father　did　not　mean　to　speak　to　him；　but　he　could　not　push　by　him　or　walk　over　him。

〃There　is　one　thing　I　want　to　say　to　you；　father；〃　said　he。　　〃I　have　told　my　mother　that　our　interview　this　morning　was　quite　amicable。　　I　do　not　see　why　she　should　be　distressed　by　knowing　that　it　was　not。〃

His　father's　face　softened　a　moment。

〃Yes；　I　agree　to　that；〃　he　said。


As　far　as　that　went；　the　compact　was　observed；　and　whenever　Lady　Ashbridge　was　present　her　husband　made　a　point　of　addressing　a　few　remarks　to　Michael；　but　there　their　intercourse　ended。　　Michael　found　opportunity　to　explain　to　Aunt　Barbara　what　had　happened；　suggesting　as　a　consolatory　simile　the　domestic　difficulties　of　the　seals　at　the　Zoological　Gardens；　and　was　pleased　to　find　her　recognise　the　aptness　of　this　description。　　But　heaviest　of　all　on　the　spirits　of　the　whole　party　sat　the　anxiety　about　Lady　Ashbridge。　　There　could　be　no　doubt　that　some　cerebral　degeneration　was　occurring；　and　Lady　Barbara's　urgent　representation　to　her　brother　had　the　effect　of　making　him　promise　to　take　her　up　to　London　without　delay　after　Christmas；　and　let　a　specialist　see　her。　For　the　present　the　pious　fraud　practised　on　her　that　Michael　and　his　father　had　had　〃a　good　talk〃　together；　and　were　excellent　friends；　sufficed　to　render　her　happy　and　cheerful。　　She　had　long；　dim　talks；　full　of　repetition；　with　Michael；　whose　presence　appeared　to　make　her　completely　content；　and　when　he　was　out　or　away　from　her　she　would　sit　eagerly　waiting　for　his　return。　　Petsy；　to　the　great　benefit　of　his　health；　got　somewhat　neglected　by　her；　her　whole　nature　and　instincts　were　alight　with　the　mother…love　that　had　burnt　so　late　into　flame；　with　this　tragic　accompaniment　of　derangement。　　She　seemed　to　be　groping　her　way　back　to　the　days　when　Michael　was　a　little　boy；　and　she　was　a　young　woman；　often　she　would　seat　herself　at　her　piano；　if　Michael　was　not　there　to　play　to　her；　and　in　a　thin；　quavering　voice　sing　the　songs　of　twenty　years　ago。　　She　would　listen　to　his　playing；　beating　time　to　his　music；　and　most　of　all　she　loved　the　hour　when　the　day　was　drawing　in；　and　the　first　shadow　and　flame　of　dusk　and　firelight；　then；　with　her　hand　in　his；　sitting　in　her　room；　where　they　would　not　be　interrupted；　she　would　whisper　fresh　inquiries　about　Sylvia；　offering　to　go　herself　to　the　girl　and　tell　her　how　lovable　her　suitor　was。　　She　lived　in　a　dim；　subaqueous　sort　of　consciousness；　physically　quite　well；　and　mentally　serene　in　the　knowledge　that　Michael　was　in　the　house；　and　would　presently　come　and　talk　to　her。

For　the　others　it　was　dismal　enough；　this　shadow；　that　was　to　her　a　watery　sunlight；　lay　over　them　allthis；　and　the　further　quarrel；　unknown　to　her；　between　Michael　and　his　father。　　When　they　all　met；　as　at　meal　times；　there　was　the　miserable　pretence　of　friendliness　and　comfortable　ease　kept　up；　for　fear　of　distressing　Lady　Ashbridge。　　It　was　dreary　work　for　all　concerned；　but；　luckily；　not　difficult　of　accomplishment。　　A　little　chatter　about　the　weather；　the　merest　small　change　of　conversation；　especially　if　that　conversation　was　held　between　Michael　and　his　father；　was　sufficient　to　wreathe　her　in　smiles；　and　she　would；　according　to　habit；　break　in　with　some　wrecking　remark；　that　entailed　starting　this　talk　all　afresh。　　But　when　she　left　the　room　a　glowering　silence　would　fall；　Lord　Ashbridge　would　pick　up　a　book　or　leave　the　room　with　his　high…stepping　walk　and　erect　head；　the　picture　of　insulted　dignity。

Of　the　three　he　was　far　most　to　be　pitied；　although　the　situation　was　the　direct　result　of　his　own　arrogance　and　self…importance；　but　arrogance　and　self…importance　were　as　essential　ingredients　of　his　character　as　was　humour　of　Aunt　Barbara's。　　They　were　very　awkward　and　tiresome　qualities；　but　this　particular　Lord　Ashbridge　would　have　no　existence　without　them。　　He　was　deeply　and　mortally　offended　with　Michael；　that　alone　was　sufficient　to　make　a　sultry　and　stifling　atmosphere；　and　in　addition　to　that　he　had　the　burden　of　his　anxiety　about　his　wife。　　Here　came　an　extra　sting；　for　in　common　humanity　he　had；　by　appearing　to　be　friends　with　Michael；　to　secure　her　serenity；　and　this　could　only　be　done　by　the　continued　profanation　of　his　own　highly　proper　and　necessary　attitude　towards　his　son。　　He　had　to　address　friendly　words　to　Michael　that　really　almost　choked　him；　he　had　to　practise　cordiality　with　this　wretch　who　wanted　to　marry　the　sister　of　a　music…master。　　Michael　had　pulled　up　all　the　old　traditions；　that　carefully…tended　and　pompous　flower…garden；　as　if　they　had　been　weeds；　and　thrown　them　in　his　father's　face。　　It　was　indeed　no　wonder　that；　in　his　wife's　absence；　he　almost　burst　with　indignation　over　the　desecrated　beds。　More　than　that；　his　own　self…esteem　was　hurt　by　his　wife's　fear　of　him；　just　as　if　he　had　been　a　hard　and　unkind　husband　to　her；　which　he　had　not　been；　but　merely　a　very　self…absorbed　and　dominant　one；　while　the　one　person　who　could　make　her　quite　happy　was　his　despised　son。　　Michael's　person；　Michael's　tastes；　Michael's　whole　presence　and　character　were　repugnant　to　him；　and　yet　Michael　had　the　power　which；　to　do　Lord　Ashbridge　justice；　he　would　have　given　much　to　be　possessed　of　himself；　of　bringing　comfort　and　serenity　to　his　wife。

On　the　afternoon　of　the　day　following　Christmas　the　two　cousins　had　been　across　the　estuary　to　Ashbridge　together。　　Francis；　who；　in　spite　of　his　habitual　easiness　of　disposition　and　general　good　temper；　had　found　the　conditions　of　anger　and　anxiety　quite　intolerable；　had　settled　to　leave　next　day；　instead　of　stopping　till　the　end　of　the　week；　and　Michael　acquiesced　in　this　without　any　sense　of　desertion；　he　had　really　only　wondered　why　Francis　had　stopped　three　nights；　instead　of　finding　urgent　private　business　in　town　after　one。　　He　realised　also；　somewhat　with　surprise；　that　Francis　was　〃no　good〃　when　there　was　trouble　about；　there　was　no　one　so　delightful　when　there　was；　so　to　speak；　a　contest　of　who　should　enjoy　himself　the　most；　and　Francis　invariably　won。　　But　if　the　subject　of　the　contest　was　changed；　and　the　prize　given　for　the　individual　who；　under　depressing　circumstances；　should　contrive　to　show　the　greatest　serenity　of　aspect；　Francis　would　have　lost　with　an　even　greater　margin。　　Michael；　in　fact；　was　rather　relieved　than　otherwise　at　his　cousin's　immediate　departure；　for　it　helped　nobody　to　see　the　martyred　St。　Sebastian；　and　it　was　merely　odious　for　St。　Sebastian　himself。　　In　fact；　at　this　moment；　when　Michael　was　rowing　them　back　across　the　full…flooded　estuary；　Francis　was　explaining　this　with　his　customary　lucidity。

〃I　don't　do　any　good　here；　Mike；〃　he　said。　　〃Uncle　Robert　doesn't　speak　to　me　any　more　than　he　does　to　you；　except　when　Aunt　Marion　is　there。　　And　there's　nothing　going　on；　is　there？　　I　practically　asked　if　I　might　go　duck…shooting　to…day；　and　Uncle　Robert　merely　looked　out　of　the　window。　　But　if　anybody；　specially　you；　wanted　me　to　stop；　why；　of　course　I　would。〃

〃But　I　don't；〃　said　Michael。

〃Thanks　awfully。　　Gosh；　look　at　those　ducks！　　They're　just　wanting　to　be　shot。　　But　there　it　is；　then。　　Certainly　Uncle　Robert　doesn't　want　me；　nor　Aunt　Marion。　　I　say；　what　do　they　think　is　the　matter　with　her？〃

Michael　looked　round；　then　took；　rather　too　late；　another　pull　on　his　oars；　and　the　boat　gently　grated　on　the　pebbly　mud　at　the　side　of　the　landing…place。　　Francis's　question；　the　good…humoured　insouciance　of　it　grated　on　his　mind　in　rather　similar　fashion。

〃We　don't　know　yet；〃　he　said。　　〃I　expect　we　shall　all　go　back　to　town　in　a　couple　of　days；　so　that　she　may　see　somebody。〃

Francis　jumped　out　briskly　and　gracefully；　and　stood　with　his　hands　in　his　pockets　while　Michael　pushed　off　again；　and　brought　the　boat　into　its　shed。

〃I　do　hope　it's　nothing　serious；〃　he　said。　　〃She　looks　quite　well；　doesn't　she？　　I　daresay　it's　nothing；　but　she's　been　alone；　hasn't　she；　with　Uncle　Robert　all　these　weeks。　　That　would　give　her　the　hump；　too。〃

Michael　felt　a　sudden　spasm　of　impatience　at　these　elegant　and　consoling　reflections。　　But　now；　in　the　light　of　his　own　increasing　maturity；　he　saw　how　hopeless　it　was　to　feel　Francis's　deficiencies；　his　entire　lack　of　deep　feeling。　　He　was　made　like　that；　and　if　you　were　fond　of　anybody　the　only　possible　way　of　living　up　to　your　affection　was　to　attach　yourself　to　their　qualities。

They　strolled　a　little　way　in　silence。

〃And　why　did　you　tell　Uncle　Robert　about　Sylvia　Falbe？〃　asked　Francis。　　〃I　can't　understand　that。　　For　the　present；　anyhow；　she　had　refused　you。　　There　was　nothing　to　tell　him　about。　　If　I　was　fond　of　a　girl　like　that　I　should　say　nothing　about　it；　if　I　knew　my　people　would　disapprove；　until　I　had　got　her。〃

Michael　laughed。

〃Oh；　yes　you　would；〃　he　said；　〃if　you　were　to　use　your　own　words；　fond　of　her　'like　that。'　　You　couldn't　help　it。　　At　least；　I　couldn't。　　It'sit's　such　a　glory　to　be　fond　like　that。〃

He　stopped。

〃We　won't　talk　about　it；〃　he　said〃or；　rather；　I　can't　talk　about　it；　if　you　don't　understand。〃

〃But　she　had　refused　you；〃　said　the　sensible　Francis。

〃That　makes　no　difference。　　She　shines　through　everything；　through　the　infernal　awfulness　of　these　days；　through　my　father's　anger；　and　my　mother's　illness；　whatever　it　proves　to　beI　think　about　them　really　with　all　my　might；　and　at　the　end　I　find　I've　been　thinking　about　Sylvia。　　Everything　is　shethe　woods；　the　tideoh；　I　can't　explain。〃

They　had　walked　across　the　marshy　land　at　the　edge　of　the　estuary；　and　now　in　front　of　them　was　the　steep　and　direct　path　up　to