michael-第44部分

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〃If　only　she　could　come　back　just　for　a　little　to　what　she　was　in　January；〃　he　said。　　〃She　was　happier　then；　I　think；　than　she　ever　was　before。　　I　can't　help　wondering　if　anyhow　I　could　have　prolonged　those　days；　by　giving　myself　up　to　her　more　completely。〃

〃My　dear；　you　needn't　wonder　about　that；〃　said　Aunt　Barbara。　　〃Sir　James　told　me　that　it　was　your　love　and　nothing　else　at　all　that　gave　her　those　days。〃

Michael's　lips　quivered。

〃I　can't　tell　you　what　they　were　to　me；〃　he　said；　〃for　she　and　I　found　each　other　then；　and　we　both　felt　we　had　missed　each　other　so　much　and　so　long。　　She　was　happy　then；　and　I；　too。　　And　now　everything　has　been　taken　from　her；　and　still；　in　spite　of　that；　my　cup　is　full　to　overflowing。〃

〃That's　how　she　would　have　it；　Michael；〃　said　Barbara。

〃Yes；　I　know　that。　　I　remind　myself　of　that。〃

Again　he　paused。

〃They　don't　think　she　will　live　very　long；〃　he　said。　　〃She　is　getting　physically　much　weaker。　　But　during　this　last　week　or　two　she　has　been　less　unhappy；　they　think。　　They　say　some　new　change　may　come　any　time：　it　may　be　only　the　great　changeI　mean　her　death；　but　it　is　possible　before　that　that　her　mind　will　clear　again。　　Sir　James　told　me　that　occasionally　happened；　likelike　a　ray　of　sunlight　after　a　stormy　day。　　It　would　be　good　if　that　happened。　　I　would　give　almost　anything　to　feel　that　she　and　I　were　together　again；　as　we　were。〃

Barbara；　childless；　felt　something　of　motherhood。　　Michael's　simplicity　and　his　sincerity　were　already　known　to　her；　but　she　had　never　yet　known　the　strength　of　him。　　You　could　lean　on　Michael。　In　his　quiet；　undemonstrative　way　he　supported　you　completely；　as　a　son　should；　there　was　no　possibility　of　insecurity。　。　。　。

〃God　bless　you；　my　dear；〃　she　said。


CHAPTER　XIII


One　close　thundery　morning　about　a　week　later；　Michael　was　sitting　at　his　piano　in　his　shirtsleeves；　busy　practising。　　He　was　aware　that　at　the　other　end　of　the　room　the　telephone　was　calling　for　him；　but　it　seemed　to　be　of　far　greater　importance　at　the　minute　to　finish　the　last　page　of　one　of　the　Bach　fugues；　than　to　attend　to　what　anybody　else　might　have　to　say　to　him。　　Then　it　suddenly　flashed　across　him　that　it　might　be　Sylvia　who　wanted　to　speak　to　him；　or　that　there　might　be　news　about　his　mother；　and　his　fingers　leaped　from　the　piano　in　the　middle　of　a　bar；　and　he　ran　and　slid　across　the　parquet　floor。

But　it　was　neither　of　these；　and　compared　to　them　it　was　a　case　of　〃only〃　Hermann　who　wanted　to　see　him。　　But　Hermann；　it　appeared；　wanted　to　see　him　urgently；　and；　if　he　was　in　（which　he　was）　would　be　with　him　in　ten　minutes。

But　the　Bach　thread　was　broken；　and　Michael；　since　it　was　not　worth　while　trying　to　mend　it　for　the　sake　of　these　few　minutes；　sat　down　by　the　open　window；　and　idly　took　up　the　morning　paper；　which　as　yet　he　had　not　opened；　since　he　had　hurried　over　breakfast　in　order　to　get　to　his　piano。　　The　music　announcements　on　the　outside　page　first　detained　him；　and　seeing　that　the　concert　by　the　Falbes；　which　was　to　take　place　in　five　or　six　days；　was　advertised；　he　wondered　vaguely　whether　it　was　about　that　that　Hermann　wanted　to　see　him；　and；　if　so；　why　he　could　not　have　said　whatever　he　had　to　say　on　the　telephone；　instead　of　cutting　things　short　with　the　curt　statement　that　he　wished　to　see　him　urgently；　and　would　come　round　at　once。　　Then　remembering　that　Francis　had　been　playing　cricket　for　the　Guards　yesterday；　he　turned　briskly　over　to　the　last　page　of　sporting　news；　and　found　that　his　cousin　had　distinguished　himself　by　making　no　runs　at　all；　but　by　missing　two　expensive　catches　in　the　deep　field。　　From　there；　after　a　slight　inspection　of　a　couple　of　advertisement　columns；　he　worked　back　to　the　middle　leaf；　where　were　leaders　and　the　news　of　nations　and　the　movements　of　kings。　　All　this　last　week　he　had　scanned　such　items　with　a　growing　sense　of　amusement　in　the　recollection　of　Hermann's　disquiet　over　the　Sarajevo　murders；　and　Aunt　Barbara's　more　detailed　and　vivid　prognostications　of　coming　danger；　for　nothing　more　had　happened；　and　he　supposedvaguely　only；　since　the　affair　had　begun　to　fade　from　his　mindthat　Austria　had　made　inquiries；　and　that　since　she　was　satisfied　there　was　no　public　pronouncement　to　be　made。

The　hot　breeze　from　the　window　made　the　paper　a　little　unmanageable　for　a　moment；　but　presently　he　got　it　satisfactorily　folded；　and　a　big　black　headline　met　his　eye。　　A　half…column　below　it　contained　the　demands　which　Austria　had　made　in　the　Note　addressed　to　the　Servian　Government。　　A　glance　was　sufficient　to　show　that　they　were　framed　in　the　most　truculent　and　threatening　manner　possible　to　imagine。　　They　were　not　the　reasonable　proposals　that　one　State　had　a　perfect　right　to　make　of　another　on　whose　soil　and　with　the　connivance　of　whose　subjects　the　murders　had　been　committed；　they　were　a　piece　of　arbitrary　dictation；　a　threat　levelled　against　a　dependent　and　an　inferior。

Michael　had　read　them　through　twice　with　a　growing　sense　of　uneasiness　at　the　thought　of　how　Lady　Barbara's　first　anticipations　had　been　fulfilled；　when　Hermann　came　in。　　He　pointed　to　the　paper　Michael　held。

〃Ah；　you　have　seen　it；〃　he　said。　　〃Perhaps　you　can　guess　what　I　wanted　to　see　you　about。〃

〃Connected　with　the　Austrian　Note？〃　asked　Michael。

〃Yes。〃

〃I　have　not　the　vaguest　idea。〃

Hermann　sat　down　on　the　arm　of　his　chair。

〃Mike；　I'm　going　back　to　Germany　to…day；〃　he　said。　　〃Now　do　you　understand？　　I'm　German。〃

〃You　mean　that　Germany　is　at　the　back　of　this？〃

〃It　is　obvious；　isn't　it？　　Those　demands　couldn't　have　been　made　without　the　consent　of　Austria's　ally。　　And　they　won't　be　granted。　Servia　will　appeal　to　Russia。　　And　。　。　。　and　then　God　knows　what　may　happen。　　In　the　event　of　that　happening；　I　must　be　in　my　Fatherland　ready　to　serve；　if　necessary。〃

〃You　mean　you　think　it　possible　you　will　go　to　war　with　Russia？〃　asked　Michael。

〃Yes；　I　think　it　possible；　and；　if　I　am　right；　if　there　is　that　possibility；　I　can't　be　away　from　my　country。〃

〃But　the　Emperor；　the　fire…engine　whom　you　said　would　quench　any　conflagration？〃

〃He　is　away　yachting。　　He　went　off　after　the　visit　of　the　British　fleet　to　Kiel。　　Who　knows　whether　before　he　gets　back；　things　may　have　gone　too　far？　　Can't　you　see　that　I　must　go？　　Wouldn't　you　go　if　you　were　me？　　Suppose　you　were　in　Germany　now；　wouldn't　you　hurry　home？〃

Michael　was　silent；　and　Hermann　spoke　again。

〃And　if　there　is　trouble　with　Russia；　France；　I　take　it；　is　bound　to　join　her。　　And　if　France　joins　her；　what　will　England　do？〃

The　great　shadow　of　the　approaching　storm　fell　over　Michael；　even　as　outside　the　sultry　stillness　of　the　morning　grew　darker。

〃Ah；　you　think　that？〃　asked　Michael。

Hermann　put　his　hand　on　Michael's　shoulder。

〃Mike；　you're　the　best　friend　I　have；〃　he　said；　〃and　soon；　please　God；　you　are　going　to　marry　the　girl　who　is　everything　else　in　the　world　to　me。　　You　two　make　up　my　world　reallyyou　two　and　my　mother；　anyhow。　　No　other　individual　counts；　or　is　in　the　same　class。　　You　know　that；　I　expect。　　But　there　is　one　other　thing；　and　that's　my　nationality。　　It　counts　first。　　Nothing；　nobody；　not　even　Sylvia　or　my　mother　or　you　can　stand　between　me　and　that。　　I　expect　you　know　that　also；　for　you　saw；　nearly　a　year　ago；　what　Germany　is　to　me。　　Perhaps　I　may　be　quite　wrong　about　it　allabout　the　gravity；　I　mean；　of　the　situation；　and　perhaps　in　a　few　days　I　may　come　racing　home　again。　　Yes；　I　said　'home；'　didn't　I？　　Well；　that　shows　you　just　how　I　am　torn　in　two。　　But　I　can't　help　going。〃

Hermann's　hand　remained　on　his　shoulder　gently　patting　it。　　To　Michael　the　world；　life；　the　whole　spirit　of　things　had　suddenly　grown　sinister；　of　the　quality　of　nightmare。　　It　was　true　that　all　the　ground　of　this　ominous　depression　which　had　darkened　round　him；　was　conjectural　and　speculative；　that　diplomacy；　backed　by　the　horror　of　war　which　surely　all　civilised　nations　and　responsible　govermnents　must　share；　had；　so　far　from　saying　its　last；　not　yet　said　its　first　word；　that　the　wits　of　all　the　Cabinets　of　Europe　were　at　this　moment　only　just　beginning　to　stir　themselves　so　as　to　secure　a　peaceful　solution；　but；　in　spite　of　this；　the　darkness　and　the　nightmare　grew　in　intensity。　　But　as　to　Hermann's　determination　to　go　to　Germany；　which　made　this　so　terribly　real；　since　it　was　beginning　to　enter　into　practical　everyday　life；　he　had　neither　means　nor　indeed　desire　to　combat　it。　　He　saw　perfectly　clearly　that　Hermann　must　go。

〃I　don't　want　to　dissuade　you；〃　he　said；　〃not　only　because　it　would　be　useless；　but　because　I　am　with　you。　　You　couldn't　do　otherwise；　Hermann。〃

〃I　don't　see　that　I　could。　　Sylvia　agrees　too。〃

A　terrible　conjecture　flashed　through　Michael's　mind。

〃And　she？〃　he　asked。

〃She　can't　leave　my　mother；　of　course；〃　said　Hermann；　〃and；　after　all；　I　may　be　on　a　wild　goose　chase。　　But　I　can't　risk　being　unable　to　get　to　Germany；　ifif　the　worst　happens。〃

The　ghost　of　a　smile　played　round　his　mouth　for　a　moment。

〃And　I'm　not　sure　that　she　could　leave　you；　Mike；〃　he　added。

Somehow　this；　though　it　gave　Michael　a　moment　of　intensest　relief　to　know　that　Sylvia　remained；　made　the　shadow　grow　deeper；　accentuated　the　lines　of　the　storm　which　had　begun　to　spread　over　the　sky。　　He　began　to　see　as　nightmare　no　longer；　but　as　stern　and　possible　realities；　something　of　the　unutterable　woe；　the　divisions；　the　heart…breaks　which　menaced。

〃Hermann；　what　do　you　think　will　happen？〃　he　said。　　〃It　is　incredible；　unfaceable〃

The　gentle　patting　on　his　shoulder；　that　suddenly　and　poignantly　reminded　him　of　when　Sylvia's　hand　was　there；　ceased　for　a　moment；　and　then　was　resumed。

〃Mike；　old　boy；〃　said　Hermann；　〃we've　got　to　face　the　unfaceable；　and　believe　that　the　incredible　is　possible。　　I　may　be　all　wrong　about　it；　and；　as　I　say；　in　a　few　days'　time　I　may　come　racing　back。　　But；　on　the　other　hand；　this　may　be　our　last　talk　together；　for　I　go　off　this　afternoon。　　So　let's　face　it。〃

He　paused　a　moment。

〃It　may　be　that　before　long　I　shall　be　fighting　for　my　Fatherland；〃　he　said。　　〃And　if　there　is　to　be　fighting；　it　may　be　that　Germany　will　before　long　be　fighting　England。　　There　I　shall　be　on　one　side；　and；　since　naturally　you　will　go　back　into　the　Guard