michael-第55部分

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ust　as　below　in　the　darkness　of　it　there　ran　those　streams　of　yearning　and　of　horror；　but　all　his　ordinary　work…a…day　self　was　occupied　with　the　immediate　prospect　of　the　stewpot。　　It　was　some　sort　of　a　ragout；　he　knew；　and　he　lusted　for　it。　　Red　wine　of　the　country　would　be　there；　and　cheese　and　new　brown　bread。　。　。　。　It　surprised　him　to　find　how　completely　his　bodily　needs　and　the　pleasure　of　their　gratification　had　possession　of　him。

They　were　under　orders　to　go　back　to　the　trenches　shortly　after　sunset；　and　when　their　meal　was　over　there　remained　but　an　hour　or　two　before　they　had　to　start。　　The　warmth　and　glory　of　the　day　was　already　gone；　and　streamers　of　cloud　were　beginning　to　form　over　the　open　sky。　　All　afternoon　these　thickened　till　a　dull　layer　of　grey　had　thickly　overspread　the　heavens　and　below　that　arch　of　vapour　that　cut　off　the　sun　the　wind　was　blowing　chilly。　　With　that　change　in　the　weather；　Michael's　mood　changed　also；　and　the　horror　of　the　return　to　the　trenches　began　to　come　to　the　surface。　　He　was　not　as　yet　aware　of　any　physical　fear　of　death　or　of　wound；　rather；　the　feeling　was　one　of　some　mental　and　spiritual　shrinking　from　the　whole　of　this　vast　business　of　murder；　where　hundreds　and　thousands　of　men　along　the　battle　front　that　stretched　half…way　across　Europe；　were　employed；　day　and　night；　without　having　any　quarrel　with　each　other；　in　the　unsleeping　vigilant　work　of　killing。　　Most　of　them　in　all　probability；　were　quite　decent　fellows；　like　those　four　who　had　whistled　〃Tipperary〃　together；　and　yet　they　were　spending　months　of　young；　sweet　life　up　to　the　knees　in　water；　in　foul　and　ill…smelling　trenches　in　order　to　kill　others　whom　they　had　never　seen　except　as　specks　on　the　sights　of　their　rifles。　Somewhere　behind　that　gruesome　business；　as　he　knew；　there　stood　the　Cause；　calm　and　serene；　like　some　great　statue；　which　made　this　insensate　murdering　necessary；　but　just　for　an　hour　to…day；　as　he　waited　till　they　had　to　be　on　the　move　again；　he　found　himself　unable　to　make　real　to　his　own　mind　the　existence　of　that　cause；　and　could　not　see　beyond　the　bloody　and　hideous　things　that　resulted　from　it。

Then；　in　this　inaction　of　waiting；　an　attack　of　mere　physical　cowardice　seized　him；　and　he　found　himself　imagining　the　mutilation　and　torture　that　perhaps　awaited　him　personally　in　those　deathly　ditches。　　He　tried　to　busy　himself　with　the　preparation　of　the　few　things　that　he　would　take　with　him；　he　tried　to　encourage　himself　by　remembering　that　in　his　previous　experiences　there　he　had　not　been　conscious　of　any　fear；　by　telling　himself　that　these　were　only　the　unreal　anticipations　that　were　always　ready　to　pounce　on　one　even　before　such　mildly　alarming　affairs　as　a　visit　to　the　dentist；　but　in　spite　of　his　efforts；　he　found　his　hands　growing　clammy　and　cold　at　the　thoughts　which　beset　his　brain。　　What　if　there　happened　to　him　what　had　happened　to　another　junior　officer　who　was　close　to　him　at　the　moment；　when　a　fragment　of　shell　turned　him　from　a　big　gay　boy　into　a　writhing　bundle　at　the　bottom　of　the　trench！　　He　had　lived　for　a　couple　of　hours　like　that；　moaning　and　crying　out；　〃For　God's　sake　kill　me！〃　　What　if；　more　mercifully；　he　was　killed　outright；　so　that　he　would　lie　there　in　peace　till　next　night　they　removed　his　body；　or　perhaps　had　to　bury　him　in　the　trench　itself；　with　a　dozen　handfuls　of　soil　cast　over　him！　　At　that　he　suddenly　realised　how　passionately　he　wanted　to　live；　to　escape　from　this　infernal　butchery；　to　be　safe　again；　gloriously　or　ingloriously；　it　mattered　not　which；　to　be　with　Sylvia　once　more。　　He　told　himself　that　he　had　been　an　utter　fool　ever　to　re…enter　the　army　again　like　this。　　He　could　certainly　have　got　some　appointment　as　dispatch…　carrier　or　had　himself　attached　to　the　headquarters　staff；　or　even　have　shuffled　out　of　it　altogether。　。　。　。　　But；　above　all；　he　wanted　Sylvia；　he　wanted　to　be　allowed　to　lead　the　ordinary　human　life；　safely　and　securely；　with　the　girl　he　loved；　and　with　the　musical　pursuits　that　were　his　passion。　　He　had　hated　soldiering　in　times　of　peace；　he　found　now　that　he　was　terrified　of　it　in　times　of　war。　　He　felt　physically　sick；　as　with　cold　hands　and　trembling　knees　he　stood　and　waited；　lighting　cigarettes　and　throwing　them　away；　in　front　of　the　kitchen　fire；　where　the　stewpot　was　already　bubbling　again　for　those　lucky　devils　who　would　return　here　to…　night。

The　Major　of　his　company　was　sitting　in　the　window　watching　him；　though　Michael　was　unaware　of　it。　　Suddenly　he　got　up；　and　came　across　to　the　fire；　and　put　his　hand　on　his　shoulder。

〃Don't　mind　it；　Comber；〃　he　said　quietly。　　〃We　all　get　a　touch　of　it　sometimes。　　But　you'll　find　it　will　pass　all　right。　　It's　the　waiting　doing　nothing　that　does　it。〃

That　touched　Michael　absolutely　in　the　right　place。

〃Thanks　awfully；　sir；〃　he　said。

〃Not　a　bit。　　But　it's　damned　beastly　while　it　lasts。　　You'll　be　all　right　when　we　move。　　Don't　forget　to　take　your　fur　coat　up　if　you've　got　one。　　We　shall　have　a　cold　night。〃

Just　after　sunset　they　set　out；　marching　in　the　gathering　dusk　down　the　road　eastwards；　where　in　a　mile　or　two　they　would　strike　the　huge　rabbit　warren　of　trenches　that　joined　the　French　line　to　the　north　and　south。　　Once　or　twice　they　had　to　open　out　and　go　by　the　margin　of　the　road　to　let　ambulances　or　commissariat　wagon　go　by；　but　there　was　but　little　traffic　here；　as　the　main　lines　of　communication　lay　on　other　roads。　　High　above　them；　scarcely　visible　in　the　dusk；　an　English　aeroplane　droned　back　from　its　reconnaissance；　and　once　there　was　the　order　given　to　scatter　over　the　fields　as　a　German　Taube　passed　across　them。　　This　caused　much　laughter　and　chaff　among　the　men；　and　Michael　heard　one　say；　〃Dove　they　call　it；　do　they？　　I'd　like　to　make　a　pigeon…pie　of　them　doves。〃　　Soon　they　scrambled　back　on　to　the　road　again；　and　the　interminable　〃Tipperary〃　was　resumed；　in　whistle　and　song。　　Michael　remembered　how　Aunt　Barbara　had　heard　it　at　a　music…hall；　and　had　spoken　of　it　as　a　new　and　catchy　tune　which　you　could　carry　away　with　you。　　Nowadays；　it　carried　you　away。　　It　had　become　the　audible　soul　of　the　British　army。

The　trench　which　Michael's　company　were　to　occupy　for　the　next　forty…eight　hours　was　in　the　first　firing…line；　and　to　reach　it　they　had　to　pass　in　single　file　up　a　mile　of　communication　trenches；　from　which　on　all　sides；　like　a　vast　rabbit　warren；　there　opened　out　other　galleries　and　passages　that　led　to　different　parts　of　this　net…work　of　the　lines。　　It　ran　not　in　a　straight　line　but　in　short　sections　with　angles　intervening；　so　under　no　circumstances　could　any　considerable　length　of　it　be　enfiladed；　and　was　lit　here　and　there　by　little　oil　lamps　placed　in　embrasures　in　one　or　other　wall　of　it；　or　for　some　distance　at　a　time　it　was　dark　except　for　the　vague　twilight　of　the　cloudy　sky　overhead。　　Then　again；　as　they　approached　the　firing…line；　it　would　suddenly　become　intensely　bright；　when　from　the　English　lines；　or　from　those　of　the　Germans　which　lay　not　more　than　two　hundred　yards　in　front　of　them；　a　fireball　or　star…shell　was　sent　up；　that　caused　everything　it　shone　upon　to　leap　into　vivid　illumination。　　Usually；　when　this　happened；　there　came　from　one　side　or　the　other　a　volley　of　rifle　shots；　that　sounded　like　the　crack　of　stock…whips；　and　once　or　twice　a　bullet　passed　over　their　heads　with　the　buzz　as　of　some　vicious　stinging　insect。　　Here　and　there；　where　the　bottom　lay　in　soft　and　clayey　soil；　they　walked　through　mud　that　came　half…way　up　to　the　knee；　and　each　foot　had　to　be　lifted　with　an　effort；　and　was　set　free　with　a　smacking　suck。　　Elsewhere；　if　the　ground　was　gravelly；　the　rain　which　for　two　days　previously　had　been　incessant；　had　drained　off；　and　the　going　was　easy。　　But　whether　the　path　lay　over　dry　or　soft　places　the　air　was　sick　with　some　stale　odour　which　the　breeze　that　swept　across　the　lines　from　the　south…east　could　not　carry　away。　　There　was　a　perpetual　pervading　reek　that　flowed　along　from　the　entrance　of　trenches　to　right　and　left；　that　reminded　Michael　of　the　smell　of　a　football　scrimmage　on　a　wet　day；　laden　with　the　odours　of　sweat　and　dripping　clothes；　and　something　deadlier　and　more　acrid。　　Sometimes　they　passed　under　a　section　covered　in　with　boards；　over　which　the　earth　and　clods　of　turf　had　been　replaced；　so　that　reconnoitring　aeroplanes　should　not　so　easily　spy　it　out；　and　here　from　dark　excavations　the　smell　hung　overpoweringly。　　Now　and　then　the　ground　over　which　they　passed　yielded　uneasily　to　the　foot；　where　lay；　only　lightly　covered　over；　some　corpse　which　it　had　been　impossible　to　remove；　and　from　time　to　time　they　passed　a　huddled　bundle　of　khaki　not　yet　taken　away。　But　except　for　the　artillery　duel　that　day　they　had　heard　going　on　that　morning；　the　last　day　or　two　had　been　quiet；　and　the　wounded　had　all　been　got　out；　and　for　the　most　part　the　dead　also。

After　a　long　tramp　in　this　communication　trench　they　made　a　sharp　turn　to　the　right；　and　entered　that　which　they　were　going　to　hold　for　the　next　forty…eight　hours。　　Here　they　relieved　the　regiment　that　had　occupied　it　till　now；　who　filed　out　as　they　came　in。　Along　it　at　intervals　were　excavations　dug　out　in　the　side；　some　propped　up　with　boards　and　posts；　others；　where　the　ground　was　of　sufficiently　holding　character；　just　scooped　out。　　In　front；　towards　the　German　lines　ran　a　parapet　of　excavated　earth；　with　occasional　peep…holes　bored　in　it；　so　that　the　sentry　going　his　rounds　could　look　out　and　see　if　there　was　any　sign　of　movement　from　opposite　without　showing　his　head　above　the　entrenchment。　　But　even　this　was　a　matter　of　some　risk；　since　the　enemy　had　located　these　peep…holes；　and　from　time　to　time　fired　a　shot　from　a　fixed　rifle　that　came　straight　through　them　and　buried　its　bullet　in　the　hinder　wall　of　the　trench。　　Other　spy…holes　were　therefore　being　made；　but　these　were　not　yet　finished；　and　for　the　present　till　they　were　dug；　it　was　necessary　to　use　the　old　ones。　　The　trench；　like　all　the　others；　was　excavated　in　short；　zigzag　lengths；　so　that　no　point；　either　to　right　or　left；　commanded　more　than　a　score　of　yards　of　it。

In　front；　from　just　outside　the　parapet　to　a　depth　of　some　twenty　yards；　stretched　the　spider…web　of　wire　entanglements；　and　a　little　farther　down　on