a simpleton-第43部分
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up in his。〃
〃Was it for us to retard your convalescence; and set you fretting;
and perhaps destroy your child? Rosa; my darling; think what a
treasure Heaven has sent you; to love and care for。〃
〃Yes;〃 said she; trembling; 〃Heaven has been good to me; I hope
Heaven will always be as good to me。 I don't deserve it; but then
I tell God so。 I am very grateful; and very penitent。 I never
forget that; if I had been a good wife; my husbandfive weeks is a
long time。 Why do you tremble so? Why are you so palea strong
man like you? CALAMITY! CALAMITY!〃
Dr。 Philip hung his head。
She looked at him; started wildly up; then sank back into her
chair。 So the stricken deer leaps; then falls。 Yet even now she
put on a deceitful calm; and said; 〃Tell me the truth。 I have a
right to know。〃
He stammered out; 〃There is a report of an accident at sea。〃
She kept silence。
〃Of a passenger drownedout of that ship。 This; coupled with his
silence; fills our hearts with fear。〃
〃It is worseyou are breaking it to meyou have gone too far to
stop。 One word: is he alive? Oh; say he is alive!〃
Philip rang the bell hard; and said in a troubled voice; 〃Rosa;
think of your child。〃
〃Not when my husband Is he alive or dead?〃
〃It is hard to say; with such a terrible report about; and no
letters;〃 faltered the old man; his courage failing him。
〃What are you afraid of? Do you think I can't die; and go to him?
Alive; or dead?〃 and she stood before him; raging and quivering in
every limb。
The nurse came in。
〃Fetch her child;〃 he cried; 〃God have mercy on her。〃
〃Ah; then he is dead;〃 said she; with stony calmness。 〃I drove him
to sea; and he is dead。〃
The nurse rushed in; and held the child to her。
She would not look at it。
〃Dead!〃
〃Yes; our poor Christie is gonebut his child is herethe image
of him。 Do not forget the mother。 Have pity on his child and
yours。〃
〃Take it out of my sight!〃 she screamed。 〃Away with it; or I shall
murder it; as I have murdered its father。 My dear Christie; before
all that live! I have killed him。 I shall die for him。 I shall
go to him。〃 She raved and tore her hair。 Servants rushed in。
Rosa was carried to her bed; screaming and raving; and her black
hair all down on both sides; a piteous sight。
Swoon followed swoon; and that very night brain fever set in with
all its sad accompaniments; a poor bereaved creature; tossing and
moaning; pale; anxious; but resolute faces of the nurse and the
kitchen…maid watching: on one table a pail of ice; and on another
the long; thick raven hair of our poor Simpleton; lying on clean
silver paper。 Dr。 Philip had cut it all off with his own hand; and
he was now folding it up; and crying over it; for he thought to
himself; 〃Perhaps in a few days more only this will be left of her
on earth。〃
CHAPTER XV。
Staines fell head…foremost into the sea with a heavy plunge。 Being
an excellent swimmer; he struck out the moment he touched the
water; and that arrested his dive; and brought him up with a slant;
shocked and panting; drenched and confused。 The next moment he
saw; as through a foghis eyes being full of watersomething fall
from the ship。 He breasted the big waves; and swam towards it: it
rose on the top of a wave; and he saw it was a life…buoy。
Encumbered with wet clothes; he seemed impotent in the big waves;
they threw him up so high; and down so low。
Almost exhausted; he got to the life…buoy; and clutched it with a
fierce grasp and a wild cry of delight。 He got it over his head;
and; placing his arms round the buoyant circle; stood with his
breast and head out of water; gasping。
He now drew a long breath; and got his wet hair out of his eyes;
already smarting with salt water; and; raising himself on the buoy;
looked out for help。
He saw; to his great concern; the ship already at a distance。 She
seemed to have flown; and she was still drifting fast away from
him。
He saw no signs of help。 His heart began to turn as cold as his
drenched body。 A horrible fear crossed him。
But presently he saw the weather…boat filled; and fall into the
water; and then a wave rolled between him and the ship; and he only
saw her topmast。
The next time he rose on a mighty wave he saw the boats together
astern of the vessel; but not coming his way; and the gloom was
thickening; the ship becoming indistinct; and all was doubt and
horror。
A life of agony passed in a few minutes。
He rose and fell like a cork on the buoyant wavesrose and fell;
and saw nothing but the ship's lights; now terribly distant。
But at last; as he rose and fell; he caught a few fitful glimpses
of a smaller light rising and falling like himself。 〃A boat!〃 he
cried; and raising himself as high as he could; shouted; cried;
implored for help。 He stretched his hands across the water。 〃This
way! this way!〃
The light kept moving; but it came no nearer。 They had greatly
underrated the drift。 The other boat had no light。
Minutes passed of suspense; hope; doubt; dismay; terror。 Those
minutes seemed hours。
In the agony of suspense the quaking heart sent beads of sweat to
the brow; though the body was immersed。
And the gloom deepened; and the cold waves flung him up to heaven
with their giant arms; and then down again to hell: and still that
light; his only hope; was several hundred yards from him。
Only for a moment at a time could his eyeballs; straining with
agony; catch this will…o'…the…wisp; the boat's light。 It groped
the sea up and down; but came no near。
When what seemed days of agony had passed; suddenly a rocket rose
in the horizonso it seemed to him。
The lost man gave a shriek of joy; so prone are we to interpret
things hopefully。
Misery! The next time he saw that little light; that solitary
spark of hope; it was not quite so near as before。 A mortal
sickness fell on his heart。 The ship had recalled the boats by
rocket。
He shrieked; he cried; he screamed; he raved。 〃Oh; Rosa! Rosa! for
her sake; men; men; do not leave me。 I am here! here!〃
In vain。 The miserable man saw the boat's little light retire;
recede; and melt into the ship's larger light; and that light
glided away。
Then; a cold; deadly stupor fell on him。 Then; death's icy claw
seized his heart; and seemed to run from it to every part of him。
He was a dead man。 Only a question of time。 Nothing to gain by
floating。
But the despairing mind could not quit the world in peace; and even
here in the cold; cruel sea; the quivering body clung to this
fragment of life; and winced at death's touch; though more
merciful。
He despised this weakness; he raged at it; he could not overcome
it。
Unable to live or to die; condemned to float slowly; hour by hour;
down into death's jaws。
To a long; death…like stupor succeeded frenzy。 Fury seized this
great and long…suffering mind。 It rose against the cruelty and
injustice of his fate。 He cursed the world; whose stupidity had
driven him to sea; he cursed remorseless nature; and at last he
railed on the God who made him; and made the cruel water; that was
waiting for his body。 〃God's justice! God's mercy! God's power!
they are all lies;〃 he shouted; 〃dreams; chimeras; like Him the
all…powerful and good; men babble of by the fire。 If there was a
God more powerful than the sea; and only half as good as men are;
he would pity my poor Rosa and me; and send a hurricane to drive
those caitiffs back to the wretch they have abandoned。 Nature
alone is mighty。 Oh; if I could have her on my side; and only God
against me! But she is as deaf to prayer as He is: as mechanical
and remorseless。 I am a bubble melting into the sea。 Soul I have
none; my body will soon be nothing; nothing。 So ends an honest;
loving life。 I always tried to love my fellow…creatures。 Curse
them! curse them! Curse the earth! Curse the sea! Curse all
nature: there is no other God for me to curse。〃
The moon came out。
He raised his head and staring eyeballs; and cursed her。
The wind began to whistle; and flung spray in his face。
He raised his fallen head and staring eyeballs; and cursed the
wind。
While he was thus raving; he became sensible of a black object to
windward。
It looked like a rail; and a man leaning on it。
He stared; he cleared the wet hair from his eyes; and stared again。
The thing; being larger than himself and partly out of water; was
drifting to leeward faster than himself。
He stared and trembled; and at last it came nearly abreast; black;
black。
He gave a loud cry; and tried to swim towards it; but encumbered
with his life…buoy; he made little progress。 The thing drifted
abreast of him; but ten yards distant。
As they each rose high upon the waves; he saw it plainly。
It was the very raft that had been the innocent cause of his sad
fate。
He shouted with hope; he swam; he struggled; he got near it; but
not to it; it drifted past; and he lost his chance of intercepting
it。 He struggled after it。 The life…buoy would not let him catch
it。
Then he gave a cry of agony; rage; despair; and flung off the life…
buoy; and risked all on this one chance。
He gains a little on the raft。
He loses。
He gains: he cries; 〃Rosa! Rosa!〃 and struggles with all his soul;
as well as his body: he gains。
But when almost within reach; a wave half drowns him; and he loses。
He cries; 〃Rosa! Rosa!〃 and swims high and strong。 〃Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa!〃
He is near it。 He cries; 〃Rosa! Rosa!〃 and with all the energy of
love and life flings himself almost out of the water; and catches
hold of the nearest thing on the raft。
It was the dead man's leg。
It seemed as if it would come away in his grasp。 He dared not try
to pull himself up by that。 But he held on by it; panting;
exhausting; faint。
This faintness terrified him。 〃Oh;〃 thought he; 〃if I faint now;
all is over。〃
Holding by that terrible and strange support; he made a grasp; and
caught hold of the woodwork at the bottom of the rail。 He tried to
draw himself up。 Impossible。
He was no better off than with his life…buoy。
But in situations so dreadful; men think fast; he worked gradually
round the bottom