a new england girlhood-第25部分

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　I　felt　my…　self　slipping　into　an　inward　apathy　from　which　it　was　hard　to　rouse　myself。　I　could　not　let　it　go　on　so。　I　must　be　where　my　life　could　expand。

It　was　hard　to　leave　the　dear　little　fellow　I　had　taught　to　walk　and　to　talk；　but　I　knew　he　would　not　be　inconsolable。　So　I　only　said　〃I　must　go；〃and　turned　my　back　upon　the　sea；　and　my　face　to　the　banks　of　the　Merrimack。

When　I　returned　I　found　that　I　enjoyed　even　the　familiar；　unremitting　clatter　of　the　mill；　because　it　indicated　that　something　was　going　on。　I　liked　to　feel　the　people　around　me；　even　those　whom　I　did　not　know；　as　a　wave　may　like　to　feel　the　surrounding　waves　urging　it　forward；　with　or　against　its　own　will。　I　felt　that　I　belonged　to　the　world；　that　there　was　something　for　me　to　do　in　it；　though　I　had　not　yet　found　out　what。　Something　to　do；　it　might　be　very　little；　but　still　it　would　be　my　own　work。　And　then　there　was　the　better　something　which　I　had　almost　forgottento　be！　Underneath　my　dull　thoughts　the　old　aspirations　were　smouldering；　the　old　ideals　rose　and　beckoned　to　me　through　the　rekindling　light。

It　was　always　aspiration　rather　than　ambition　by　which　I　felt　myself　stirred。　I　did　not　care　to　outstrip　others；　and　become　what　is　called　〃distinguished；〃　were　that　a　possibility；　so　much　as　I　longed　to　answer　the　Voice　that　invited；　ever　receding；　up　to　invisible　heights；　however　unattainable　they　might　seem。　I　was　conscious　of　a　desire　that　others　should　feel　something　coming　to　them　out　of　my　life　like　the　breath　of　flowers；　the　whisper　of　the　winds；　the　warmth　of　the　sunshine；　and　the　depth　of　the　sky。　That；　I　felt；　did　not　require　great　gifts　or　a　fine　education。　We　might　all　be　that　to　each　other。　And　there　was　no　opportunity　for　vanity　or　pride　in　receiving　a　beautiful　influence；　and　giving　it　out　again。

I　do　not　suppose　that　I　definitely　thought　all　this；　though　I　find　that　the　verses　I　wrote　for　our　two　mill　magazines　at　about　this　time　often　expressed　these　and　similar　longings。　They　were　vague；　and　they　were　too　likely　to　dissipate　themselves　in　mere　dreams。　But　our　aspirations　come　to　us　from　a　source　far　beyond　ourselves。　Happy　are　they　who　are　〃not　disobedient　unto　the　heavenly　vision〃！

A　girl　of　sixteen　sees　the　world　before　her　through　rose…tinted　mists；　a　blending　of　celestial　colors　and　earthly　exhalations；　and　she　cannot　separate　their　elements；　if　she　would；　they　all　belong　to　the　landscape　of　her　youth。　It　is　the　mystery　of　the　meeting　horizons；the　visible　beauty　seeking　to　lose　and　find　itself　in　the　Invisible。

In　returning　to　my　daily　toil　among　workmates　from　the　hill…　country；　the　scenery　to　which　they　belonged　became　also　a　part　of　my　life。　They　brought　the　mountains　with　them；　a　new　background　and　a　new　hope。　We　shared　an　uneven　path　and　homely　occupations；　but　above　us　hung　glorious　summits　never　wholly　out　of　sight。　Every　blossom　and　every　dewdrop　at　our　feet　was　touched　with　some　tint　of　that　far…off　splendor；　and　every　pebble　by　the　wayside　was　a　messenger　from　the　peak　that　our　feet　would　stand　upon　by　and　by。

The　true　climber　knows　the　delight　of　trusting　his　path；　of　following　it　without　seeing　a　step　before　him；　or　a　glimpse　of　blue　sky　above　him；　sometimes　only　knowing　that　it　is　the　right　path　because　it　is　the　only　one；　and　because　it　leads　upward。　This　our　daily　duty　was　to　us。　Though　we　did　not　always　know　it；　the　faithful　plodder　was　sure　to　win　the　heights。　Unconsciously　we　learned　the　lesson　that　only　by　humble　Doing　can　any　of　us　win　the　lofty　possibilities　of　Being。　For　indeed；　what　we　all　want　to　find　is　not　so　much　our　place　as　our　path。　The　path　leads　to　the　place；　and　the　place；　when　we　have　found　it；　is　only　a　clearing　by　the　roadside；　an　opening　into　another　path。

And　no　comrades　are　so　dear　as　those　who　have　broken　with　us　a　pioneer　road　which　it　will　be　safe　and　good　for　others　to　follow；　which　will　furnish　a　plain　clue　for　all　bewildered　travelers　hereafter。　There　is　no　more　exhilarating　human　experience　than　this；　and　perhaps　it　is　the　highest　angelic　one。　It　may　be　that　some　such　mutual　work　is　to　link　us　forever　with　one　another　in　the　Infinite　Life。

The　girls　who　toiled　together　at　Lowell　were　clearing　away　a　few　weeds　from　the　overgrown　track　of　independent　labor　for　other　women。　They　practically　said；　by　numbering　themselves　among　factory　girls；　that　in　our　country　no　real　odium　could　be　attached　to　any　honest　toil　that　any　self…respecting　woman　might　undertake。

I　regard　it　as　one　of　the　privileges　of　my　youth　that　I　was　permitted　to　grow　up　among　those　active；　interesting　girls；　whose　lives　were　not　mere　echoes　of　other　lives；　but　had　principle　and　purpose　distinctly　their　own。　Their　vigor　of　character　was　a　natural　development。　The　New　Hampshire　girls　who　came　to　Lowell　were　descendants　of　the　sturdy　backwoodsmen　who　settled　that　State　scarcely　a　hundred　years　before。　Their　grandmothers　had　suffered　the　hardships　of　frontier　life；　had　known　the　horrors　of　savage　warfare　when　the　beautiful　valleys　of　the　Connecticut　and　the　Merrimack　were　threaded　with　Indian　trails　from　Canada　to　the　white　settlements。　Those　young　women　did　justice　to　their　inheritance。　They　were　earnest　and　capable；　ready　to　undertake　anything　that　was　worth　doing。　My　dreamy；　indolent　nature　was　shamed　into　activity　among　them。　They　gave　me　a　larger；　firmer　ideal　of　womanhood。

Often　during　the　many　summers　and　autumns　that　of　late　years　I　have　spent　among　the　New　Hampshire　hills；　sometimes　far　up　the　mountainsides；　where　I　could　listen　to　the　first　song　of　the　little　brooks　setting　out　on　their　journey　to　join　the　very　river　that　flowed　at　my　feet　when　I　was　a　working　girl　on　its　banks；　the　Merrimack；I　have　felt　as　if　I　could　also　hear　the　early　music　of　my　workmates'　lives；　those　who　were　born　among　these　glorious　summits。　Pure；　strong；　crystalline　natures；　carrying　down　with　them　the　light　of　blue　skies　and　the　freshness　of　free　winds　to　their　place　of　toil；　broadening　and　strengthening　as　they　went　on；　who　can　tell　how　they　have　refreshed　the　world；　how　beautifully　they　have　blended　their　being　with　the　great　ocean　of　results？　A　brook's　life　is　like　the　life　of　a　maiden。　The　rivers　receive　their　strength　from　the　rock…born　hills；　from　the　unfailing　purity　of　the　mountain…streams。

A　girl's　place　in　the　world　is　a　very　strong　one：　it　is　a　pity　that　she　does　not　always　see　it　so。　It　is　strongest　through　her　natural　impulse　to　steady　herself　by　leaning　upon　the　Eternal　Life；　the　only　Reality；　and　her　weakness　comes　also　from　her　inclination　to　lean　against　something；upon　an　unworthy　support；　rather　than　none　at　all。　She　often　lets　her　life　get　broken　into　fragments　among　the　flimsy　trellises　of　fashion　and　convention…　ality；　when　it　might　be　a　perfect　thing　in　the　upright　beauty　of　its　own　consecrated　freedom。

Yet　girlhood　seldom　appreciates　itself。　We　often　hear　a　girl　wishing　that　she　were　a　boy。　That　seems　so　strange！　God　made　no　mistake　in　her　creation。　He　sent　her　into　the　world　full　of　power　and　will　to　be　a　helper；　and　only　He　knows　how　much　his　world　needs　help。　She　is　here　to　make　this　great　house　of　humanity　a　habitable　and　a　beautiful　place；　without　and　within；a　true　home　for　every　one　of　his　children。　It　matters　not　if　she　is　poor；　if　she　has　to　toil　for　her　daily　bread；　or　even　if　she　is　surrounded　by　coarseness　and　uncongeniality：　nothing　can　deprive　her　of　her　natural　instinct　to　help；　of　her　birthright　as　a　helper。　These　very　hindrances　may；　with　faith　and　patience；　develop　in　her　a　nobler　womanhood。

No；　let　girls　be　as　thankful　that　they　are　girls　as　that　they　are　human　beings；　for　they　also；　according　to　his　own　loving　plan　for　them；　were　created　in　the　image　of　God。　Their　real　power；　the　divine　dowry　of　womanhood；　is　that　of　receiving　and　giving　inspiration。　In　this　a　girl　often　surpasses　her　brother；　and　it　is　for　her　to　hold　firmly　and　faithfully　to　her　holiest　instincts；　so　that　when　he　lets　his　standard　droop；　she　may；　through　her　spiritual　strength；　be　a　standard　bearer　for　him。　Courage　and　self…reliance　are　now　held　to　be　virtues　as　womanly　as　they　are　manly；　for　the　world　has　grown　wise　enough　to　see　that　nothing　except　a　life　can　really　help　another　life。　It　is　strange　that　it　should　ever　have　held　any　other　theory　about　woman。

That　was　a　true　use　of　the　word　〃help〃　that　grew　up　so　naturally　in　the　rendering　and　receiving　of　womanly　service　in　the　old…　fashioned　New　England　household。　A　girl　came　into　a　family　as　one　of　the　home…group；　to　share　its　burdens；　to　feel　that　they　were　her　own。　The　woman　who　employed　her；　if　her　nature　was　at　all　generous；　could　not　feel　that　money　alone　was　an　equivalent　for　a　heart's　service；　she　added　to　it　her　friendship；　her　gratitude　and　esteem。　The　domestic　problem　can　never　be　rightly　settled　until　the　old　idea　of　mutual　help　is　in　some　way　restored。　This　is　a　question　for　girls　of　the　present　generation　to　consider；　and　she　who　can　bring　about　a　practical　solution　of　it　will　win　the　world's　gratitude。

We　used　sometimes　to　see　it　claimed；　in　public　prints；　that　it　would　be　better　for　all　of　us　mill…girls　to　be　working　in　families；　at　domestic　service；　than　to　be　where　we　were。　Perhaps　the　difficulties　of　modern　housekeepers　did　begin　with　the　opening　of　the　Lowell　factories。　Country　girls　were　naturally　independent；　and　the　feeling　that　at　this　new　work　the　few　hours　they　had　of　every…day　leisure　were　entirely　their　own　was　a　satisfaction　to　them。　They　preferred　it　to　going　out　as　〃hired　help。〃　It　was　like　a　young　man's　pleasure　in　entering　upon　business　for　himself。　Girls　had　never　tried　that　experiment　before；　and　they　liked　it。　It　brought　out　in　them　a　dormant　strength　of　character　which　the　world　did　not　previously　see；　but　now　fully　acknowledges。　Of　course　they　had　a　right　to　continue　at　that　freer　kind　of　work　as　long　as　they　chose；　although　their　doing　so　increased　the　perplexities　of　the　housekeeping　problem　for　themselves　even；　since　many　of　them　were　to　become；　and　did　become；　American　house…mistresses。

It　would　be　a　step　towards　the　settlement　of　this　vexed　and　vexing　question　if　girls　would　decline　to　classify　each　other　by　their　occupations；　which　among　us　are　usually　only　temporary；　and　are　continually　shifting　from　o