the awakening and selected short stories(苏醒)-第14部分
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done so to her satisfaction。 And she begged that Robert would interest
himself； and discover； if possible； whether she was entitled to the
indulgence accompanying the remarkably curious Mexican prayer…beads。
Madame Ratignolle hoped that Robert would exercise extreme caution
in dealing with the Mexicans； who； she considered； were a treacherous
people； unscrupulous and revengeful。 She trusted she did them no
injustice in thus condemning them as a race。 She had known personally
but one Mexican； who made and sold excellent tamales； and whom she
would have trusted implicitly； so softspoken was he。 One day he was
arrested for stabbing his wife。 She never knew whether he had been
hanged or not。
Victor had grown hilarious； and was attempting to tell an anecdote
about a Mexican girl who served chocolate one winter in a restaurant in
Dauphine Street。 No one would listen to him but old Monsieur Farival；
who went into convulsions over the droll story。
Edna wondered if they had all gone mad； to be talking and clamoring
at that rate。 She herself could think of nothing to say about Mexico or
the Mexicans。
〃At what time do you leave？〃 she asked Robert。
〃At ten；〃 he told her。 〃Beaudelet wants to wait for the moon。〃
〃Are you all ready to go？〃
〃Quite ready。 I shall only take a hand…bag； and shall pack my trunk
in the city。〃
He turned to answer some question put to him by his mother； and Edna；
having finished her black coffee； left the table。
She went directly to her room。 The little cottage was close and stuffy
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after leaving the outer air。 But she did not mind； there appeared to be a
hundred different things demanding her attention indoors。 She began to
set the toilet…stand to rights； grumbling at the negligence of the quadroon；
who was in the adjoining room putting the children to bed。 She gathered
together stray garments that were hanging on the backs of chairs； and put
each where it belonged in closet or bureau drawer。 She changed her
gown for a more comfortable and commodious wrapper。 She rearranged
her hair； combing and brushing it with unusual energy。 Then she went in
and assisted the quadroon in getting the boys to bed。
They were very playful and inclined to talkto do anything but lie
quiet and go to sleep。 Edna sent the quadroon away to her supper and
told her she need not return。 Then she sat and told the children a story。
Instead of soothing it excited them； and added to their wakefulness。 She
left them in heated argument； speculating about the conclusion of the tale
which their mother promised to finish the following night。
The little black girl came in to say that Madame Lebrun would like to
have Mrs。 Pontellier go and sit with them over at the house till Mr。 Robert
went away。 Edna returned answer that she had already undressed； that
she did not feel quite well； but perhaps she would go over to the house
later。 She started to dress again； and got as far advanced as to remove her
peignoir。 But changing her mind once more she resumed the peignoir；
and went outside and sat down before her door。 She was overheated and
irritable； and fanned herself energetically for a while。 Madame
Ratignolle came down to discover what was the matter。
〃All that noise and confusion at the table must have upset me；〃 replied
Edna； 〃and moreover； I hate shocks and surprises。 The idea of Robert
starting off in such a ridiculously sudden and dramatic way！ As if it were
a matter of life and death！ Never saying a word about it all morning when
he was with me。〃
〃Yes；〃 agreed Madame Ratignolle。 〃I think it was showing us all
you especiallyvery little consideration。 It wouldn't have surprised me
in any of the others； those Lebruns are all given to heroics。 But I must
say I should never have expected such a thing from Robert。 Are you not
coming down？ Come on； dear； it doesn't look friendly。〃
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〃No；〃 said Edna； a little sullenly。 〃I can't go to the trouble of dressing
again； I don't feel like it。〃
〃You needn't dress； you look all right； fasten a belt around your waist。
Just look at me！〃
〃No；〃 persisted Edna； 〃but you go on。 Madame Lebrun might be
offended if we both stayed away。〃
Madame Ratignolle kissed Edna good…night； and went away； being in
truth rather desirous of joining in the general and animated conversation
which was still in progress concerning Mexico and the Mexicans。
Somewhat later Robert came up； carrying his hand…bag。
〃Aren't you feeling well？〃 he asked。
〃Oh； well enough。 Are you going right away？〃
He lit a match and looked at his watch。 〃In twenty minutes；〃 he said。
The sudden and brief flare of the match emphasized the darkness for a
while。 He sat down upon a stool which the children had left out on the
porch。
〃Get a chair；〃 said Edna。
〃This will do；〃 he replied。 He put on his soft hat and nervously took
it off again； and wiping his face with his handkerchief； complained of the
heat。 〃Take the fan；〃 said Edna； offering it to him。
〃Oh； no！ Thank you。 It does no good； you have to stop fanning
some time； and feel all the more uncomfortable afterward。〃
〃That's one of the ridiculous things which men always say。 I have
never known one to speak otherwise of fanning。 How long will you be
gone？〃
〃Forever； perhaps。 I don't know。 It depends upon a good many
things。〃
〃Well； in case it shouldn't be forever； how long will it be？〃
〃I don't know。〃
〃This seems to me perfectly preposterous and uncalled for。 I don't
like it。 I don't understand your motive for silence and mystery； never
saying a word to me about it this morning。〃 He remained silent； not
offering to defend himself。 He only said； after a moment：
〃Don't part from me in any ill humor。 I never knew you to be out of
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patience with me before。〃
〃I don't want to part in any ill humor；〃 she said。 〃But can't you
understand？ I've grown used to seeing you； to having you with me all the
time； and your action seems unfriendly； even unkind。 You don't even offer
an excuse for it。 Why； I was planning to be together； thinking of how
pleasant it would be to see you in the city next winter。〃
〃So was I；〃 he blurted。 〃Perhaps that's the〃 He stood up suddenly
and held out his hand。 〃Good…by； my dear Mrs。 Pontellier； good…by。
You won'tI hope you won't completely forget me。〃 She clung to his hand；
striving to detain him。
〃Write to me when you get there； won't you； Robert？〃 she entreated。
〃I will； thank you。 Good…by。〃
How unlike Robert！ The merest acquaintance would have said
something more emphatic than 〃I will； thank you； good…by；〃 to such a
request。
He had evidently already taken leave of the people over at the house；
for he descended the steps and went to join Beaudelet； who was out there
with an oar across his shoulder waiting for Robert。 They walked away in
the darkness。 She could only hear Beaudelet's voice； Robert had
apparently not even spoken a word of greeting to his companion。
Edna bit her handkerchief convulsively； striving to hold back and to
hide； even from herself as she would have hidden from another； the
emotion which was troublingtearingher。 Her eyes were brimming
with tears。
For the first time she recognized the symptoms of infatuation which
she had felt incipiently as a child； as a girl in her earliest teens； and later as
a young woman。 The recognition did not lessen the reality； the
poignancy of the revelation by any suggestion or promise of instability。
The past was nothing to her； offered no lesson which she was willing to
heed。 The future was a mystery which she never attempted to penetrate。
The present alone was significant； was hers； to torture her as it was doing
then with the biting conviction that she had lost that which she had held；
that she had been denied that which her impassioned； newly awakened
being demanded。
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XVI
〃Do you miss your friend greatly？〃
