the awakening and selected short stories(苏醒)-第18部分
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into her presence。
〃‘Cite can do it as well as I； it is really her business；〃 she explained to
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Edna； who apologized for interrupting her。 And she summoned a young
black woman； whom she instructed； in French； to be very careful in
checking off the list which she handed her。 She told her to notice
particularly if a fine linen handkerchief of Monsieur Ratignolle's； which
was missing last week； had been returned； and to be sure to set to one side
such pieces as required mending and darning。
Then placing an arm around Edna's waist； she led her to the front of
the house； to the salon； where it was cool and sweet with the odor of great
roses that stood upon the hearth in jars。
Madame Ratignolle looked more beautiful than ever there at home； in
a neglige which left her arms almost wholly bare and exposed the rich；
melting curves of her white throat。
〃Perhaps I shall be able to paint your picture some day；〃 said Edna
with a smile when they were seated。 She produced the roll of sketches
and started to unfold them。 〃I believe I ought to work again。 I feel as if I
wanted to be doing something。 What do you think of them？ Do you
think it worth while to take it up again and study some more？ I might
study for a while with Laidpore。〃
She knew that Madame Ratignolle's opinion in such a matter would be
next to valueless； that she herself had not alone decided； but determined；
but she sought the words of praise and encouragement that would help her
to put heart into her venture。
〃Your talent is immense； dear！〃
〃Nonsense！〃 protested Edna； well pleased。
〃Immense； I tell you；〃 persisted Madame Ratignolle； surveying the
sketches one by one； at close range； then holding them at arm's length；
narrowing her eyes； and dropping her head on one side。 〃Surely； this
Bavarian peasant is worthy of framing； and this basket of apples！ never
have I seen anything more lifelike。 One might almost be tempted to
reach out a hand and take one。〃
Edna could not control a feeling which bordered upon complacency at
her friend's praise； even realizing； as she did； its true worth。 She retained
a few of the sketches； and gave all the rest to Madame Ratignolle； who
appreciated the gift far beyond its value and proudly exhibited the pictures
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to her husband when he came up from the store a little later for his midday
dinner。
Mr。 Ratignolle was one of those men who are called the salt of the
earth。 His cheerfulness was unbounded； and it was matched by his
goodness of heart； his broad charity； and common sense。 He and his wife
spoke English with an accent which was only discernible through its un…
English emphasis and a certain carefulness and deliberation。 Edna's
husband spoke English with no accent whatever。 The Ratignolles
understood each other perfectly。 If ever the fusion of two human beings
into one has been accomplished on this sphere it was surely in their union。
As Edna seated herself at table with them she thought； 〃Better a dinner
of herbs；〃 though it did not take her long to discover that it was no dinner
of herbs； but a delicious repast； simple； choice； and in every way
satisfying。
Monsieur Ratignolle was delighted to see her； though he found her
looking not so well as at Grand Isle； and he advised a tonic。 He talked a
good deal on various topics； a little politics； some city news and
neighborhood gossip。 He spoke with an animation and earnestness that
gave an exaggerated importance to every syllable he uttered。 His wife
was keenly interested in everything he said； laying down her fork the
better to listen； chiming in； taking the words out of his mouth。
Edna felt depressed rather than soothed after leaving them。 The little
glimpse of domestic harmony which had been offered her； gave her no
regret； no longing。 It was not a condition of life which fitted her； and she
could see in it but an appalling and hopeless ennui。 She was moved by a
kind of commiseration for Madame Ratignolle；a pity for that colorless
existence which never uplifted its possessor beyond the region of blind
contentment； in which no moment of anguish ever visited her soul； in
which she would never have the taste of life's delirium。 Edna vaguely
wondered what she meant by 〃life's delirium。〃 It had crossed her thought
like some unsought； extraneous impression。
XIX
Edna could not help but think that it was very foolish； very childish； to
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have stamped upon her wedding ring and smashed the crystal vase upon
the tiles。 She was visited by no more outbursts； moving her to such futile
expedients。 She began to do as she liked and to feel as she liked。 She
completely abandoned her Tuesdays at home； and did not return the visits
of those who had called upon her。 She made no ineffectual efforts to
conduct her household en bonne menagere； going and coming as it suited
her fancy； and； so far as she was able； lending herself to any passing
caprice。
Mr。 Pontellier had been a rather courteous husband so long as he met a
certain tacit submissiveness in his wife。 But her new and unexpected line
of conduct completely bewildered him。 It shocked him。 Then her
absolute disregard for her duties as a wife angered him。 When Mr。
Pontellier became rude； Edna grew insolent。 She had resolved never to
take another step backward。
〃It seems to me the utmost folly for a woman at the head of a
household； and the mother of children； to spend in an atelier days which
would be better employed contriving for the comfort of her family。〃
〃I feel like painting；〃 answered Edna。 〃Perhaps I shan't always feel
like it。〃
〃Then in God's name paint！ but don't let the family go to the devil。
There's Madame Ratignolle； because she keeps up her music； she doesn't
let everything else go to chaos。 And she's more of a musician than you
are a painter。〃
〃She isn't a musician； and I'm not a painter。 It isn't on account of
painting that I let things go。〃
〃On account of what； then？〃
〃Oh！ I don't know。 Let me alone； you bother me。〃
It sometimes entered Mr。 Pontellier's mind to wonder if his wife were
not growing a little unbalanced mentally。 He could see plainly that she
was not herself。 That is； he could not see that she was becoming herself
and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment
with which to appear before the world。
Her husband let her alone as she requested； and went away to his
office。 Edna went up to her ateliera bright room in the top of the house。
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She was working with great energy and interest； without accomplishing
anything； however； which satisfied her even in the smallest degree。 For a
time she had the whole household enrolled in the service of art。 The
boys posed for her。 They thought it amusing at first； but the occupation
soon lost its attractiveness when they discovered that it was not a game
arranged especially for their entertainment。 The quadroon sat for hours
before Edna's palette； patient as a savage； while the house…maid took
charge of the children； and the drawing…room went undusted。 But the
housemaid； too； served her term as model when Edna perceived that the
young woman's back and shoulders were molded on classic lines； and that
her hair； loosened from its confining cap； became an inspiration。 While
Edna worked she sometimes sang low the little air； 〃Ah！ si tu savais！〃
It moved her with recollections。 She could hear again the ripple of
the water； the flapping sail。 She could see the glint of the moon upon the
bay； and could feel the soft； gusty beating of the hot south wind。 A subtle
current of desire passed through her body； weakening her hold upon the
brushes and making her eyes burn。
There were days when she was very happy without knowing why。 She
was happy to be alive and breathing； when her whole being seemed to be
one with the sunlight； the color； the odors； the luxuriant warmth of some
perfect Southern day。
