the research magnificent-第27部分

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ort。　　And　this　seems　a　comparatively　slight　one。　I　wish　it　hadn't　happened。　　They　do　happen。〃　An　expression　of　perplexity　came　into　her　face。　　She　looked　at　him。　〃Why　do　you　want　to　throw　her　over？〃　〃I　WANT　to　throw　her　over；〃　said　Benham。　He　stood　up　and　went　to　the　hearthrug；　and　his　mother　reflected　that　this　was　exactly　what　all　men　did　at　just　this　phase　of　a　discussion。　　Then　things　ceased　to　be　sensible。　From　overhead　he　said　to　her：　〃I　want　to　get　away　from　this　complication；　this　servitude。　　I　want　to　do　somesome　work。　　I　want　to　get　my　mind　clear　and　my　hands　clear。　　I　want　to　study　government　and　the　big　business　of　the　world。〃　〃And　she's　in　the　way？〃　He　assented。　〃You　men！〃　said　Lady　Marayne　after　a　little　pause。　　〃What　queer　beasts　you　are！　　Here　is　a　woman　who　is　kind　to　you。　　She's　fond　of　you。　　I　could　tell　she's　fond　of　you　directly　I　heard　her。　　And　you　amuse　yourself　with　her。　　And　then　it's　Gobble；　Gobble；　Gobble；　Great　Work；　Hands　Clear；　Big　Business　of　the　World。　　Why　couldn't　you　think　of　that　before；　Poff？　　Why　did　you　begin　with　her　Merkle。　　The　second　was　to　end　his　ill…advised　intimacy　with　little　Mrs。　Skelmersdale　as　generously　and　cheerfully　as　possible。　　The　third　was　to　bring　Lady　Marayne　into　social　relations　with　the　Wilder　and　Morris　MENAGE　at　South　Harting。　　It　did　not　strike　him　that　there　was　any　incompatibility　among　these　projects　or　any　insurmountable　difficulty　in　any　of　them　until　he　was　back　in　his　flat。　The　accumulation　of　letters；　packages　and　telephone　memoranda　upon　his　desk　included　a　number　of　notes　and　slips　to　remind　him　that　both　Mrs。　Skelmersdale　and　his　mother　were　ladies　of　some　determination。　　Even　as　he　stood　turning　over　the　pile　of　documents　the　mechanical　vehemence　of　the　telephone　filled　him　with　a　restored　sense　of　the　adverse　will　in　things。　　〃Yes；　mam；〃　he　heard　Merkle's　voice；　〃yes；　mam。　　I　will　tell　him；　mam。　　Will　you　keep　possession；　mam。〃　　And　then　in　the　doorway　of　the　study；　〃Mrs。　Skelmersdale；　sir。　　Upon　the　telephone；　sir。〃　Benham　reflected　with　various　notes　in　his　hand。　　Then　he　went　to　the　telephone。　〃You　Wicked　Boy；　where　have　you　been　hiding？〃　〃I've　been　away。　　I　may　have　to　go　away　again。〃　〃Not　before　you　have　seen　me。　　Come　round　and　tell　me　all　about　it。〃　Benham　lied　about　an　engagement。　〃Then　to…morrow　in　the　morning。〃　。　。　。　　Impossible。　〃In　the　afternoon。　　You　don't　WANT　to　see　me。〃　　Benham　did　want　to　see　her。　〃Come　round　and　have　a　jolly　little　evening　to…morrow　night。　　I've　got　some　more　of　that　harpsichord　music。　　And　I'm　dying　to　see　you。　Don't　you　understand？〃　Further　lies。　　〃Look　here；〃　said　Benham；　〃can　you　come　and　have　a　talk　in　Kensington　Gardens？　　You　know　the　place；　near　that　Chinese　garden。　　Paddington　Gate。　。　。　。〃　The　lady's　voice　fell　to　flatness。　　She　agreed。　　〃But　why　not　come　to　see　me　HERE？〃　she　asked。　Benham　hung　up　the　receiver　abruptly。　He　walked　slowly　back　to　his　study。　　〃Phew！〃　he　whispered　to　himself。　　It　was　like　hitting　her　in　the　face。　　He　didn't　want　to　be　a　brute；　but　short　of　being　a　brute　there　was　no　way　out　for　him　from　this　entanglement。　　Why；　oh！　why　the　devil　had　he　gone　there　to　lunch？　。　。　。　He　resumed　his　examination　of　the　waiting　letters　with　a　ruffled　mind。　　The　most　urgent　thing　about　them　was　the　clear　evidence　of　gathering　anger　on　the　part　of　his　mother。　　He　had　missed　a　lunch　party　at　Sir　Godfrey's　on　Tuesday　and　a　dinner　engagement　at　Philip　Magnet's；　quite　an　important　dinner　in　its　way；　with　various　promising　young　Liberals；　on　Wednesday　evening。　　And　she　was　furious　at　〃this　stupid　mystery。　　Of　course　you're　bound　to　be　found　out；　and　of　course　there　will　be　a　scandal。〃　。　。　。　　He　perceived　that　this　last　note　was　written　on　his　own　paper。　　〃Merkle！〃　he　cried　sharply。　〃Yessir！〃　Merkle　had　been　just　outside；　on　call。　〃Did　my　mother　write　any　of　these　notes　here？〃　he　asked。　〃Two；　sir。　　Her　ladyship　was　round　here　three　times；　sir。〃　〃Did　she　see　all　these　letters？〃　〃Not　the　telephone　calls；　sir。　　I　‘ad　put　them　on　one　side。　But。　。　。　。　　It's　a　little　thing；　sir。〃　He　paused　and　came　a　step　nearer。　　〃You　see；　sir；〃　he　explained　with　the　faintest　flavour　of　the　confidential　softening　his　mechanical　respect；　〃yesterday；　when　‘er　ladyship　was　‘ere；　sir；　some　one　rang　up　on　the　telephone〃　〃But　you；　Merkle〃　〃Exactly；　sir。　　But　‘er　ladyship　said　‘I'LL　go　to　that；　Merkle；'　and　just　for　a　moment　I　couldn't　exactly　think　‘ow　I　could　manage　it；　sir；　and　there　‘er　ladyship　was；　at　the　telephone。　　What　passed；　sir；　I　couldn't　‘ear。　　I　‘eard　her　say；　‘Any　message？'　　And　I　FANCY；　sir；　I　‘eard　‘er　say；　‘I'm　the　‘ousemaid；'　but　that；　sir；　I　think　must　have　been　a　mistake；　sir。〃　〃Must　have　been；〃　said　Benham。　　〃Certainlymust　have　been。　　And　the　call　you　think　came　from？〃　〃There　again；　sir；　I'm　quite　in　the　dark。　　But　of　course；　sir；　it's　usually　Mrs。　Skelmersdale；　sir。　　Just　about　her　time　in　the　afternoon。　　On　an　average；　sir。　。　。　。〃

7

〃I　went　out　of　London　to　think　about　my　life。〃　It　was　manifest　that　Lady　Marayne　did　not　believe　him。　〃Alone？〃　she　asked。　〃Of　course　alone。〃　〃STUFF！〃　said　Lady　Marayne。　She　had　taken　him　into　her　own　little　sitting…room；　she　had　thrown　aside　gloves　and　fan　and　theatre　wrap；　curled　herself　comfortably　into　the　abundantly　cushioned　corner　by　the　fire；　and　proceeded　to　a　mixture　of　cross…examination　and　tirade　that　he　found　it　difficult　to　make　head　against。　　She　was　vibrating　between　distressed　solicitude　and　resentful　anger。　　She　was　infuriated　at　his　going　away　and　deeply　concerned　at　what　could　have　taken　him　away。　　〃I　was　worried；〃　he　said。　　〃London　is　too　crowded　to　think　in。　　I　wanted　to　get　myself　alone。〃　〃And　there　I　was　while　you　were　getting　yourself　alone；　as　you　call　it；　wearing　my　poor　little　brains　out　to　think　of　some　story　to　tell　people。　　I　had　to　stuff　them　up　you　had　a　sprained　knee　at　Chexington；　and　for　all　I　knew　any　of　them　might　have　been　seeing　you　that　morning。　　Besides　what　has　a　boy　like　you　to　worry　about？　It's　all　nonsense；　Poff。〃　She　awaited　his　explanations。　　Benham　looked　for　a　moment　like　his　father。　〃I'm　not　getting　on；　mother；〃　he　said。　　〃I'm　scattering　myself。　　I'm　getting　no　grip。　　I　want　to　get　a　better　hold　upon　life；　or　else　I　do　not　see　what　is　to　keep　ted；　blushed；　and　regretted　it。　〃Mrs。　Skelmersdale；〃　he　said　after　a　little　pause。　〃It's　all　the　same。　　Who　is　she？〃　〃She's　a　woman　I　met　at　a　studio　somewhere；　and　I　went　with　her　to　one　of　those　Dolmetsch　concerts。〃　He　stopped。　Lady　Marayne　considered　him　in　silence　for　a　little　while。　　〃All　men；〃　she　said　at　last；　〃are　alike。　　Husbands；　sons　and　brothers；　they　are　all　alike。　　Sons！　　One　expects　them　to　be　different。　　They　aren't　different。　　Why　should　they　be？　　I　suppose　I　ought　to　be　shocked；　Poff。　　But　I'm　not。　　She　seems　to　be　very　fond　of　you。〃　〃She'sshe's　very　goodin　her　way。　　She's　had　a　difficult　life。　。　。　。〃　〃You　can't　leave　a　man　about　for　a　moment；〃　Lady　Marayne　reflected。　〃Poff；　I　wish　you'd　fetch　me　a　glass　of　water。〃　When　he　returned　she　was　looking　very　fixedly　into　the　fire。　　〃Put　it　down；〃　she　said；　〃anywhere。　　Poff！　is　this　Mrs。　Helter…Skelter　a　discreet　sort　of　woman？　　Do　you　like　her？〃　　She　asked　a　few　additional　particulars　and　Benham　made　his　grudging　admission　of　facts。　　〃What　I　still　don't　understand；　Poff；　is　why　you　have　been　away。〃　〃I　went　away；〃　said　Benham；　〃because　I　want　to　clear　things　up。〃　〃But　why？　　Is　there　some　one　else？〃　〃No。〃　〃You　went　alone？　　All　the　time？〃　〃I've　told　you　I　went　alone。　　Do　you　think　I　tell　you　lies；　mother？〃　〃Everybody　tells　lies　somehow；〃　said　Lady　Marayne。　　〃Easy　lies　or　stiff　ones。　　Don't　FLOURISH；　Poff。　　D？〃　〃It　was　unexpected。　。　。　。〃　〃STUFF！〃　said　Lady　Marayne　for　a　second　time。　　〃Well；〃　she　said；　〃well。　　Your　Mrs。　Fly…by…Night；oh　it　doesn't　matter！whatever　she　calls　herself；　must　look　after　herself。　　I　can't　do　anything　for　her。　　I'm　not　supposed　even　to　know　about　her。　　I　daresay　she'll　find　her　consolations。　　I　suppose　you　want　to　go　out　of　London　and　get　away　from　it　all。　　I　can　help　you　there；　perhaps。　　I'm　tired　of　London　too。　　It's　been　a　tiresome　season。　　Oh！　tiresome　and　disappointing！　　I　want　to　go　over　to　Ireland　and　travel　about　a　little。　　The　Pothercareys　want　us　to　come。　　They've　asked　us　twice。　。　。　。〃　Benham　braced　himself　to　face　fresh　difficulties。　　It　was　amazing　how　different　the　world　could　look　from　his　mother's　little　parlour　and　from　the　crest　of　the　North　Downs。　〃But　I　want　to　start　round　the　world；〃　he　cried　with　a　note　of　acute　distress。　　〃I　want　to　go　to　Egypt　and　India　and　see　what　is　happening　in　the　East；　all　this　wonderful　waking　up　of　the　East；　I　know　nothing　of　the　way　the　world　is　going　。　。　。〃　〃India！〃　cried　Lady　Marayne。　　〃The　East。　　Poff；　what　is　the　MATTER　with　you？　　Has　something　happenedsomething　else？　　Have　you　been　having　a　love　affair？　a　REAL　love　affair？〃　〃Oh；　DAMN　love　affairs！〃　cried　Benham。　　〃Mother！I'm　sorry；　mother！　But　don't　you　see　there's　other　things　in　the　world　for　a　man　than　having　a　good　time　and　making　love。　　I'm　for　something　else　than　that。　　You've　given　me　the　splendidest　time　。　。　。〃　〃I　see；〃　cried　Lady　Marayne；　〃I　see。　　I've　bored　you。　　I　might　have　known　I　should　have　bored　you。〃　〃You've　NOT　bored　me！〃　cried　Benham。　He　threw　himself　on　the　rug　at　her　feet。　　〃Oh；　mother！〃　he　said；　〃little；　dear；　gallant　mother；　don't　make　life　too　hard　for　me。　I've　got　to　do　my　job；　I've　got　to　find　my　job。〃　〃I've　bored　you；〃　she　wept。　Suddenly　she　was　weeping　with　all　the　unconcealed　distressing　grief　of　a　disappointed　child。　　She　put　her　pretty　be…ringed　little　hands　in　front　of　her　face　and　recited　the　accumulation　of　her　woes。　〃I've　done　all　I　can　for　you；　planned　for　you；　given　all　my　time　for　you　and　I've　BORED　you。〃　〃Mother！〃　〃Don't　come　near　me；　Poff！　　Don't　TOUCH　me！　　All　my　plans。　　All　my　ambitions。　　Friendsevery　one。　　You　don't　know　all　I've　given　up　for　you。　。　。　。〃　He　had　never　seen　his　mother　weep　before。　　Her　self…abandonment　amazed　him。　　Her　words　were　distorted　by　her　tears。　　It　was　the　most　terrible　and　distressing　of　crises。　。　。　。　〃Go　away　from　me！　　How　can　you　help　me？　　All　I've　done　has　been　a　failure！　　Failure！　　Failure！〃

8

That　night　the　silences　of　Finacue　Street　heard　Benham's　voice　again。　　〃I　must　do　my　job；〃　he　was　repeating；　〃I　must　do　my　job。　Anyhow。　。　。