villa rubein and other stories-第39部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



seen　anything　like　that　inn：　sweetbriar　up　to　the　roof！　　And　the

scentI　am　very　susceptible　to　scents！〃　　His　head　drooped；　and　the

cigarette　fell　from　his　hand。　A　train　passing　beneath　sent　up　a

shower　of　sparks。　　He　started；　and　went　on：　〃We　had　our　lunch　in　the

parlourI　remember　that　room　very　well；　for　I　spent　the　happiest

days　of　my　life　afterwards　in　that　inn。。。。　　We　went　into　a　meadow

after　lunch；　and　my　friend　Dalton　fell　asleep。　　A　wonderful　thing

happened　then。　　Eilie　whispered　to　me；　'Let's　have　a　jolly　time。'

She　took　me　for　the　most　glorious　walk。　　The　river　was　close　by。

A　lovely　stream；　your　river　Thames；　so　calm　and　broad；　it　is　like　the

spirit　of　your　people。　　I　was　bewitched；　I　forgot　my　friend；　I

thought　of　nothing　but　how　to　keep　her　to　myself。　　It　was　such　a　day！

There　are　days　that　are　the　devil's；　but　that　was　truly　one　of　God's。

She　took　me　to　a　little　pond　under　an　elm…tree；　and　we　dragged　it；　we

two；　an　hour；　for　a　kind　of　tiny　red　worm　to　feed　some　creature　that

she　had。　　We　found　them　in　the　mud；　and　while　she　was　bending　over；

the　curls　got　in　her　eyes。　　If　you　could　have　seen　her　then；　I　think；

sir；　you　would　have　said　she　was　like　the　first　sight　of　spring。。。。

We　had　tea　afterwards；　all　together；　in　the　long　grass　under　some

fruit…trees。　　If　I　had　the　knack　of　words；　there　are　things　that　I

could　say。〃　　He　bent；　as　though　in　deference　to　those　unspoken

memories。　　〃Twilight　came　on　while　we　were　sitting　there。　A　wonderful

thing　is　twilight　in　the　country！　　It　became　time　for　us　to　go。

There　was　an　avenue　of　trees　close　bylike　a　church　with　a　window　at

the　end；　where　golden　light　came　through。　　I　walked　up　and　down　it

with　her。　　'Will　you　come　again？'　she　whispered；　and　suddenly　she

lifted　up　her　face　to　be　kissed。　I　kissed　her　as　if　she　were　a　little

child。　　And　when　we　said　good…bye；　her　eyes　were　looking　at　me　across

her　father's　shoulder；　with　surprise　and　sorrow　in　them。　　'Why　do　you

go　away？'　they　seemed　to　say。。。。　　But　I　must　tell　you；〃　he　went　on

hurriedly；　〃of　a　thing　that　happened　before　we　had　gone　a　hundred

yards。　　We　were　smoking　our　pipes；　and　I；　thinking　of　herwhen　out

she　sprang　from　the　hedge　and　stood　in　front　of　us。　　Dalton　cried

out；　'What　are　you　here　for　again；　you　mad　girl？'　　She　rushed　up　to

him　and　hugged　him；　but　when　she　looked　at　me；　her　face　was　quite

differentcareless；　defiant；　as　one　might　sayit　hurt　me。　　I

couldn't　understand　it；　and　what　one　doesn't　understand　frightens

one。









IV



〃Time　went　on。　　There　was　no　swordsman；　or　pistol…shot　like　me　in

London；　they　said。　　We　had　as　many　pupils　as　we　likedit　was　the

only　part　of　my　life　when　I　have　been　able　to　save　money。　　I　had　no

chance　to　spend　it。　　We　gave　lessons　all　day；　and　in　the　evening　were

too　tired　to　go　out。　　That　year　I　had　the　misfortune　to　lose　my　dear

mother。　　I　became　a　rich　manyes；　sir；　at　that　time　I　must　have　had

not　less　than　six　hundred　a　year。



〃It　was　a　long　time　before　I　saw　Eilie　again。　　She　went　abroad　to

Dresden　with　her　father's　sister　to　learn　French　and　German。　　It　was

in　the　autumn　of　1875　when　she　came　back　to　us。　　She　was　seventeen

thena　beautiful　young　creature。〃　　He　paused；　as　if　to　gather　his

forces　for　description；　and　went　on。



〃Tall；　as　a　young　tree；　with　eyes　like　the　sky。　　I　would　not　say　she

was　perfect；　but　her　imperfections　were　beautiful　to　me。　　What　is　it

makes　you　loveah！　sir；　that　is　very　hidden　and　mysterious。　　She　had

never　lost　the　trick　of　closing　her　lips　tightly　when　she　remembered

her　uneven　tooth。　　You　may　say　that　was　vanity；　but　in　a　young　girl

and　which　of　us　is　not　vain；　eh？　　'Old　men　and　maidens；　young　men　and

children！'



〃As　I　said；　she　came　back　to　London　to　her　little　room；　and　in　the

evenings　was　always　ready　with　our　tea。　　You　mustn't　suppose　she　was

housewifely；　there　is　something　in　me　that　never　admired

housewifelinessa　fine　quality；　no　doubt；　still〃　He　sighed。



〃No；〃　he　resumed；　〃Eilie　was　not　like　that；　for　she　was　never　quite

the　same　two　days　together。　　I　told　you　her　eyes　were　like　the　sky

that　was　true　of　all　of　her。　　In　one　thing；　however；　at　that　time；

she　always　seemed　the　samein　love　for　her　father。　　For　me！　　I　don't

know　what　I　should　have　expected；　but　my　presence　seemed　to　have　the

effect　of　making　her　dumb；　I　would　catch　her　looking　at　me　with　a

frown；　and　then；　as　if　to　make　up　to　her　own　natureand　a　more

loving　nature　never　came　into　this　world；　that　I　shall　maintain　to　my

dying　dayshe　would　go　to　her　father　and　kiss　him。　　When　I　talked

with　him　she　pretended　not　to　notice；　but　I　could　see　her　face　grow

cold　and　stubborn。　　I　am　not　quick；　and　it　was　a　long　time　before　I

understood　that　she　was　jealous；　she　wanted　him　all　to　herself。　　I've

often　wondered　how　she　could　be　his　daughter；　for　he　was　the　very

soul　of　justice　and　a　slow　man　tooand　she　was　as　quick　as　a　bird。

For　a　long　time　after　I　saw　her　dislike　of　me；　I　refused　to　believe

itif　one　does　not　want　to　believe　a　thing　there　are　always　reasons

why　it　should　not　seem　true；　at　least　so　it　is　with　me；　and　I　suppose

with　all　selfish　men。



〃I　spent　evening　after　evening　there；　when；　if　I　had　not　thought　only

of　myself；　I　should　have　kept　away。　　But　one　day　I　could　no　longer　be

blind。



〃It　was　a　Sunday　in　February。　　I　always　had　an　invitation　on　Sundays

to　dine　with　them　in　the　middle　of　the　day。　　There　was　no　one　in　the

sitting…room；　but　the　door　of　Eilie's　bedroom　was　open。　　I　heard　her

voice：　'That　man；　always　that　man！'　　It　was　enough　for　me；　I　went

down　again　without　coming　in；　and　walked　about　all　day。



〃For　three　weeks　I　kept　away。　　To　the　school　of　course　I　came　as

usual；　but　not　upstairs。　　I　don't　know　what　I　told　Daltonit　did　not

signify　what　you　told　him；　he　always　had　a　theory　of　his　own；　and　was

persuaded　of　its　trutha　very　single…minded　man；　sir。



〃But　now　I　come　to　the　most　wonderful　days　of　my　life。　　It　was　an

early　spring　that　year。　　I　had　fallen　away　already　from　my

resolution；　and　used　to　slink　upseldom；　it's　trueand　spend　the

evening　with　them　as　before。　　One　afternoon　I　came　up　to　the　sitting…

room；　the　light　was　failingit　was　warm；　and　the　windows　were　open。

In　the　air　was　that　feeling　which　comes　to　you　once　a　year；　in　the

spring；　no　matter　where　you　may　be；　in　a　crowded　street；　or　alone　in

a　forest；　only　oncea　feeling　likebut　I　cannot　describe　it。



〃Eilie　was　sitting　there。　　If　you　don't　know；　sir；　I　can't　tell　you

what　it　means　to　be　near　the　woman　one　loves。　　She　was　leaning　on　the

windowsill；　staring　down　into　the　street。　　It　was　as　though　she　might

be　looking　out　for　some　one。　　I　stood；　hardly　breathing。　　She　turned

her　head；　and　saw　me。　　Her　eyes　were　strange。　　They　seemed　to　ask　me

a　question。　　But　I　couldn't　have　spoken　for　the　world。　　I　can't　tell

you　what　I　feltI　dared　not　speak；　or　think；　or　hope。　　I　have　been

in　nineteen　battlesseveral　times　in　positions　of　some　danger；　when

the　lifting　of　a　finger　perhaps　meant　death；　but　I　have　never　felt

what　I　was　feeling　at　that　moment。　　I　knew　something　was　coming；　and

I　was　paralysed　with　terror　lest　it　should　not　come！〃　　He　drew　a　long

breath。



〃The　servant　came　in　with　a　light　and　broke　the　spell。　　All　that

night　I　lay　awake　and　thought　of　how　she　had　looked　at　me；　with　the

colour　coming　slowly　up　in　her　cheeks



〃It　was　three　days　before　I　plucked　up　courage　to　go　again；　and　then

I　felt　her　eyes　on　me　at　onceshe　was　making　a　'cat's　cradle'　with　a

bit　of　string；　but　I　could　see　them　stealing　up　from　her　hands　to　my

face。　　And　she　went　wandering　about　the　room；　fingering　at

everything。　　When　her　father　called　out：　'What's　the　matter　with　you；

Elie？'　she　stared　at　him　like　a　child　caught　doing　wrong。　　I　looked

straight　at　her　then；　she　tried　to　look　at　me；　but　she　couldn't；　and

a　minute　later　she　went　out　of　the　room。　　God　knows　what　sort　of

nonsense　I　talkedI　was　too　happy。



〃Then　began　our　love。　　I　can't　tell　you　of　that　time。　　Often　and

often　Dalton　said　to　me：　'What's　come　to　the　child？　　Nothing　I　can　do

pleases　her。'　　All　the　love　she　had　given　him　was　now　for　me；　but　he

was　too　simple　and　straight　to　see　what　was　going　on。　　How　many　times

haven't　I　felt　criminal　towards　him！　　But　when　you're　happy；　with　the

tide　in　your　favour；　you　become　a　coward　at　once。。。。









V



〃Well；　sir；〃　he　went　on；　〃we　were　married　on　her　eighteenth　birthday。

It　was　a　long　time　before　Dalton　became　aware　of　our　love。　　But　one

day　he　said　to　me　with　a　very　grave　look：



〃'Eilie　has　told　me；　Brune；　I　forbid　it。　　She's　too　young；　and

you'retoo　old！'　I　was　then　forty…five；　my　hair　as　black　and　thick

as　a　rook's　feathers；　and　I　was　strong　and　active。　　I　answered　him：

'We　shall　be　married　within　a　month！'　　We　parted　in　anger。　　It　was　a

May　night；　and　I　walked　out　far　into　the　country。　　There's　no　remedy

for　anger；　or；　indeed；　for　anything；　so　fine　as　walking。　　Once　I

stoppedit　was　on　a　common；　without　a　house　or　light；　and　the　stars

shining　like　jewels。　　I　was　hot　from　walking；　I　could　feel　the　blood

boiling　in　my　veinsI　said　to　myself　'Old；　are　you？'　And　I　laughed

like　a　fool。　　It　was　the　thought　of　losing　herI　wished　to　believe

myself　angry；　but　really　I　was　afraid；　fear　and　anger　in　me　are　very

much　the　same。　　A　friend　of　mine；　a　bit　of　a　poet；　sir；　once　called

them　'the　two　black　wings　of　self。'　　And　so　they　are；　so　they　are。。。！

The　next　morning　I　went　to　Dalton　again；　and　somehow　I　made　him

yield。　　I'm　not　a　philosopher；　but　it　has　often　seemed　to　me　that　no

benefit　can　come　to　us　in　this　life　without　an　equal　loss　somewhere；

but　does　that　stop　us？　　No；　sir；　not　often。。。。



〃We　were　married　on　the　3oth　of　June　1876；　in　the　parish　church。　　The

only　people　present　were　Dalton；　Lucy；　and　Lucy's　husbanda　big；

red…faced　fellow；　with　blue　eyes　and　a　golden　beard　parted　in　two。

It　had　been　arranged　that　we　should　spend　the　honeymo