three men in a boat-第18部分

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that　the　fact　evidently　was　that　I　was　not　rowing　as　fast　as　I　fancied　I　

was；　but　that　we　should　soon　reach　the　lock　now；　and　I　pulled　on　for　

another　mile。



Then　I　began　to　get　nervous　myself。　　I　looked　again　at　the　map。　　There　

was　Wallingford　lock；　clearly　marked；　a　mile　and　a　half　below　Benson's。　　

It　was　a　good；　reliable　map；　and；　besides；　I　recollected　the　lock　myself。　　

I　had　been　through　it　twice。　　Where　were　we？　　What　had　happened　to　us？　　I　

began　to　think　it　must　be　all　a　dream；　and　that　I　was　really　asleep　in　

bed；　and　should　wake　up　in　a　minute；　and　be　told　it　was　past　ten。



I　asked　my　cousin　if　she　thought　it　could　be　a　dream；　and　she　replied　

that　she　was　just　about　to　ask　me　the　same　question；　and　then　we　both　

wondered　if　we　were　both　asleep；　and　if　so；　who　was　the　real　one　that　was　

dreaming；　and　who　was　the　one　that　was　only　a　dream；　it　got　quite　

interesting。



I　still　went　on　pulling；　however；　and　still　no　lock　came　in　sight；　and　

the　river　grew　more　and　more　gloomy　and　mysterious　under　the　gathering　

shadows　of　night；　and　things　seemed　to　be　getting　weird　and　uncanny。　　I　

thought　of　hobgoblins　and　banshees；　and　will…o'…the…wisps；　and　those　

wicked　girls　who　sit　up　all　night　on　rocks；　and　lure　people　into　whirl…

pools　and　things；　and　I　wished　I　had　been　a　better　man；　and　knew　more　

hymns；　and　in　the　middle　of　these　reflections　I　heard　the　blessed　strains　

of　〃He's　got　‘em　on；〃　played；　badly；　on　a　concertina；　and　knew　that　we　

were　saved。



I　do　not　admire　the　tones　of　a　concertina；　as　a　rule；　but；　oh！　how　

beautiful　the　music　seemed　to　us　both　then　…　far；　far　more　beautiful　than　

the　voice　of　Orpheus　or　the　lute　of　Apollo；　or　anything　of　that　sort　

could　have　sounded。　　Heavenly　melody；　in　our　then　state　of　mind；　would　

only　have　still　further　harrowed　us。　　A　soul…moving　harmony；　correctly　

performed；　we　should　have　taken　as　a　spirit…warning；　and　have　given　up　

all　hope。　　But　about　the　strains　of　〃He's　got　‘em　on；〃　jerked　

spasmodically；　and　with　involuntary　variations；　out　of　a　wheezy　

accordion；　there　was　something　singularly　human　and　reassuring。



The　sweet　sounds　drew　nearer；　and　soon　the　boat　from　which　they　were　

worked　lay　alongside　us。



It　contained　a　party　of　provincial　‘Arrys　and　‘Arriets；　out　for　a　

moonlight　sail。　　（There　was　not　any　moon；　but　that　was　not　their　fault。）　　

I　never　saw　more　attractive；　lovable　people　in　all　my　life。　　I　hailed　

them；　and　asked　if　they　could　tell　me　the　way　to　Wallingford　lock；　and　I　

explained　that　I　had　been　looking　for　it　for　the　last　two　hours。



〃Wallingford　lock！〃　they　answered。　　〃Lor'　love　you；　sir；　that's　been　done　

away　with　for　over　a　year。　　There　ain't　no　Wallingford　lock　now；　sir。　　

You're　close　to　Cleeve　now。　　Blow　me　tight　if　‘ere　ain't　a　gentleman　been　

looking　for　Wallingford　lock；　Bill！〃



I　had　never　thought　of　that。　　I　wanted　to　fall　upon　all　their　necks　and　

bless　them；　but　the　stream　was　running　too　strong　just　there　to　allow　of　

this；　so　I　had　to　content　myself　with　mere　cold…sounding　words　of　

gratitude。



We　thanked　them　over　and　over　again；　and　we　said　it　was　a　lovely　night；　

and　we　wished　them　a　pleasant　trip；　and；　I　think；　I　invited　them　all　to　

come　and　spend　a　week　with　me；　and　my　cousin　said　her　mother　would　be　so　

pleased　to　see　them。　　And　we　sang　the　soldiers'　chorus　out　of　FAUST；　and　

got　home　in　time　for　supper；　after　all。









CHAPTER　X。





OUR　FIRST　NIGHT。　…　UNDER　CANVAS。　…　AN　APPEAL　FOR　HELP。　…　CONTRARINESS　OF　

TEA…KETTLES；　HOW　TO　OVERCOME。　…　SUPPER。　…　HOW　TO　FEEL　VIRTUOUS。　…　WANTED！　

A　COMFORTABLY…APPOINTED；　WELL…DRAINED　DESERT　ISLAND；　NEIGHBOURHOOD　OF　

SOUTH　PACIFIC　OCEAN　PREFERRED。　…　FUNNY　THING　THAT　HAPPENED　TO　GEORGE'S　

FATHER。　…　A　RESTLESS　NIGHT。



HARRIS　and　I　began　to　think　that　Bell　Weir　lock　must　have　been　done　away　

with　after　the　same　manner。　　George　had　towed　us　up　to　Staines；　and　we　

had　taken　the　boat　from　there；　and　it　seemed　that　we　were　dragging　fifty　

tons　after　us；　and　were　walking　forty　miles。　　It　was　half…past　seven　when　

we　were　through；　and　we　all　got　in；　and　sculled　up　close　to　the　left　

bank；　looking　out　for　a　spot　to　haul　up　in。



We　had　originally　intended　to　go　on　to　Magna　Charta　Island；　a　sweetly　

pretty　part　of　the　river；　where　it　winds　through　a　soft；　green　valley；　

and　to　camp　in　one　of　the　many　picturesque　inlets　to　be　found　round　that　

tiny　shore。　　But；　somehow；　we　did　not　feel　that　we　yearned　for　the　

picturesque　nearly　so　much　now　as　we　had　earlier　in　the　day。　　A　bit　of　

water　between　a　coal…barge　and　a　gas…works　would　have　quite　satisfied　us　

for　that　night。　　We　did　not　want　scenery。　　We　wanted　to　have　our　supper　

and　go　to　bed。　　However；　we　did　pull　up　to　the　point　…　〃Picnic　Point；〃　it　

is　called　…　and　dropped　into　a　very　pleasant　nook　under　a　great　elm…tree；　

to　the　spreading　roots　of　which　we　fastened　the　boat。



Then　we　thought　we　were　going　to　have　supper　（we　had　dispensed　with　tea；　

so　as　to　save　time）；　but　George　said　no；　that　we　had　better　get　the　

canvas　up　first；　before　it　got　quite　dark；　and　while　we　could　see　what　we　

were　doing。　　Then；　he　said；　all　our　work　would　be　done；　and　we　could　sit　

down　to　eat　with　an　easy　mind。



That　canvas　wanted　more　putting　up　than　I　think　any　of　us　had　bargained　

for。　　It　looked　so　simple　in　the　abstract。　　You　took　five　iron　arches；　

like　gigantic　croquet　hoops；　and　fitted　them　up　over　the　boat；　and　then　

stretched　the　canvas　over　them；　and　fastened　it　down：　it　would　take　quite　

ten　minutes；　we　thought。



That　was　an　under…estimate。



We　took　up　the　hoops；　and　began　to　drop　them　into　the　sockets　placed　for　

them。　　You　would　not　imagine　this　to　be　dangerous　work；　but；　looking　back　

now；　the　wonder　to　me　is　that　any　of　us　are　alive　to　tell　the　tale。　　They　

were　not　hoops；　they　were　demons。　　First　they　would　not　fit　into　their　

sockets　at　all；　and　we　had　to　jump　on　them；　and　kick　them；　and　hammer　at　

them　with　the　boat…hook；　and；　when　they　were　in；　it　turned　out　that　they　

were　the　wrong　hoops　for　those　particular　sockets；　and　they　had　to　come　

out　again。



But　they　would　not　come　out；　until　two　of　us　had　gone　and　struggled　with　

them　for　five　minutes；　when　they　would　jump　up　suddenly；　and　try　and　

throw　us　into　the　water　and　drown　us。　　They　had　hinges　in　the　middle；　

and；　when　we　were　not　looking；　they　nipped　us　with　these　hinges　in　

delicate　parts　of　the　body；　and；　while　we　were　wrestling　with　one　side　of　

the　hoop；　and　endeavouring　to　persuade　it　to　do　its　duty；　the　other　side　

would　come　behind　us　in　a　cowardly　manner；　and　hit　us　over　the　head。



We　got　them　fixed　at　last；　and　then　all　that　was　to　be　done　was　to　

arrange　the　covering　over　them。　　George　unrolled　it；　and　fastened　one　end　

over　the　nose　of　the　boat。　　Harris　stood　in　the　middle　to　take　it　from　

George　and　roll　it　on　to　me；　and　I　kept　by　the　stern　to　receive　it。　　It　

was　a　long　time　coming　down　to　me。　　George　did　his　part　all　right；　but　it　

was　new　work　to　Harris；　and　he　bungled　it。



How　he　managed　it　I　do　not　know；　he　could　not　explain　himself；　but　by　

some　mysterious　process　or　other　he　succeeded；　after　ten　minutes　of　

superhuman　effort；　in　getting　himself　completely　rolled　up　in　it。　　He　was　

so　firmly　wrapped　round　and　tucked　in　and　folded　over；　that　he　could　not　

get　out。　　He；　of　course；　made　frantic　struggles　for　freedom　…　the　

birthright　of　every　Englishman；　…　and；　in　doing　so　（I　learned　this　

afterwards）；　knocked　over　George；　and　then　George；　swearing　at　Harris；　

began　to　struggle　too；　and　got　himself　entangled　and　rolled　up。



I　knew　nothing　about　all　this　at　the　time。　　I　did　not　understand　the　

business　at　all　myself。　　I　had　been　told　to　stand　where　I　was；　and　wait　

till　the　canvas　came　to　me；　and　Montmorency　and　I　stood　there　and　waited；　

both　as　good　as　gold。　　We　could　see　the　canvas　being　violently　jerked　and　

tossed　about；　pretty　considerably；　but　we　supposed　this　was　part　of　the　

method；　and　did　not　interfere。



We　also　heard　much　smothered　language　coming　from　underneath　it；　and　we　

guessed　that　they　were　finding　the　job　rather　troublesome；　and　concluded　

that　we　would　wait　until　things　had　got　a　little　simpler　before　we　joined　

in。



We　waited　some　time；　but　matters　seemed　to　get　only　more　and　more　

involved；　until；　at　last；　George's　head　came　wriggling　out　over　the　side　

of　the　boat；　and　spoke　up。



It　said：



〃Give　us　a　hand　here；　can't　you；　you　cuckoo；　standing　there　like　a　

stuffed　mummy；　when　you　see　we　are　both　being　suffocated；　you　dummy！〃



I　never　could　withstand　an　appeal　for　help；　so　I　went　and　undid　them；　not　

before　it　was　time；　either；　for　Harris　was　nearly　black　in　the　face。



It　took　us　half　an　hour's　hard　labour；　after　that；　before　it　was　properly　

up；　and　then　we　cleared　the　decks；　and　got　out　supper。　　We　put　the　kettle　

on　to　boil；　up　in　the　nose　of　the　boat；　and　went　down　to　the　stern　and　

pretended　to　take　no　notice　of　it；　but　set　to　work　to　get　the　other　

things　out。



That　is　the　only　way　to　get　a　kettle　to　boil　up　the　river。　　If　it　sees　

that　you　are　waiting　for　it　and　are　anxious；　it　will　never　even　sing。　　

You　have　to　go　away　and　begin　your　meal；　as　if　you　were　not　going　to　have　

any　tea　at　all。　　You　must　not　even　look　round　at　it。　　Then　you　will　soon　

hear　it　sputtering　away；　mad　to　be　made　into　tea。



It　is　a　good　plan；　too；　if　you　are　in　a　great　hurry；　to　talk　very　loudly　

to　each　other　about　how　you　don't　need　any　tea；　and　are　not　going　to　have　

any。　　You　get　near　the　kettle；　so　that　it　can　overhear　you；　and　then　you　

shout　out；　〃I　don't　want　any　tea；　do　you；　George？〃　to　which　George　shouts　

back；　〃Oh；　no；　I　don't　like　tea；　we'll　have　lemonade　instead　…　tea's　so　

indigestible。〃　　Upon　which　the　kettle　boils　over；　and　puts　the　stove　out。



We　adopted　this　harmless　bit　of　trickery；　and　the　result　was　that；　by　the　

time　everything　else　was　ready；