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he　was　a　sinner；　to　repent；　and　to　become　that　night　a　Christian；　he　was　prayed　over；　and　told　to　read　the　Bible；　and　put　to　bed　with　the　injunction　to　repeat　all　the　texts　of　Scripture　and　hymns　he　could　think　of。　　John　did　this；　and　said　over　and　over　the　few　texts　he　was　master　of；　and　tossed　about　in　a　real　discontent　now；　for　he　had　a　dim　notion　that　he　was　playing　the　hypocrite　a　little。　　But　he　was　sincere　enough　in　wanting　to　feel；　as　the　other　boys　and　girls　felt；　that　he　was　a　wicked　sinner。　He　tried　to　think　of　his　evil　deeds；　and　one　occurred　to　him；　indeed；　it　often　came　to　his　mind。　　It　was　a　lie；　a　deliberate；　awful　lie；　that　never　injured　anybody　but　himself　John　knew　he　was　not　wicked　enough　to　tell　a　lie　to　injure　anybody　else。

This　was　the　lie。　　One　afternoon　at　school；　just　before　John's　class　was　to　recite　in　geography；　his　pretty　cousin；　a　young　lady　he　held　in　great　love　and　respect；　came　in　to　visit　the　school。　　John　was　a　favorite　with　her；　and　she　had　come　to　hear　him　recite。　　As　it　happened；　John　felt　shaky　in　the　geographical　lesson　of　that　day；　and　he　feared　to　be　humiliated　in　the　presence　of　his　cousin；　he　felt　embarrassed　to　that　degree　that　he　could　n't　have　〃bounded　〃　Massachusetts。　　So　he　stood　up　and　raised　his　hand；　and　said　to　the　schoolma'am；　〃Please；　ma'am；　I　've　got　the　stomach…ache；　may　I　go　home？〃　　And　John's　character　for　truthfulness　was　so　high　（and　even　this　was　ever　a　reproach　to　him）；　that　his　word　was　instantly　believed；　and　he　was　dismissed　without　any　medical　examination。　　For　a　moment　John　was　delighted　to　get　out　of　school　so　early；　but　soon　his　guilt　took　all　the　light　out　of　the　summer　sky　and　the　pleasantness　out　of　nature。　　He　had　to　walk　slowly；　without　a　single　hop　or　jump；　as　became　a　diseased　boy。　　The　sight　of　a　woodchuck　at　a　distance　from　his　well…known　hole　tempted　John；　but　he　restrained　himself；　lest　somebody　should　see　him；　and　know　that　chasing　a　woodchuck　was　inconsistent　with　the　stomach…ache。　　He　was　acting　a　miserable　part；　but　it　had　to　be　gone　through　with。　　He　went　home　and　told　his　mother　the　reason　he　had　left　school；　but　he　added　that　he　felt　〃some〃　better　now。　　The　〃some〃　did　n't　save　him。　　Genuine　sympathy　was　lavished　on　him。　　He　had　to　swallow　a　stiff　dose　of　nasty　〃picra；〃the　horror　of　all　childhood；　and　he　was　put　in　bed　immediately。　　The　world　never　looked　so　pleasant　to　John；　but　to　bed　he　was　forced　to　go。　　He　was　excused　from　all　chores；　he　was　not　even　to　go　after　the　cows。　　John　said　he　thought　he　ought　to　go　after　the　cows；much　as　he　hated　the　business　usually；　he　would　now　willingly　have　wandered　over　the　world　after　cows；and　for　this　heroic　offer；　in　the　condition　he　was；　he　got　credit　for　a　desire　to　do　his　duty；　and　this　unjust　confidence　in　him　added　to　his　torture。　　And　he　had　intended　to　set　his　hooks　that　night　for　eels。　　His　cousin　came　home；　and　sat　by　his　bedside　and　condoled　with　him；　his　schoolma'am　had　sent　word　how　sorry　she　was　for　him；　John　was　Such　a　good　boy。　　All　this　was　dreadful。

He　groaned　in　agony。　　Besides；　he　was　not　to　have　any　supper；　it　would　be　very　dangerous　to　eat　a　morsel。　　The　prospect　was　appalling。　Never　was　there　such　a　long　twilight；　never　before　did　he　hear　so　many　sounds　outdoors　that　he　wanted　to　investigate。　　Being　ill　without　any　illness　was　a　horrible　condition。　　And　he　began　to　have　real　stomach…ache　now；　and　it　ached　because　it　was　empty。　　John　was　hungry　enough　to　have　eaten　the　New　England　Primer。　　But　by　and　by　sleep　came；　and　John　forgot　his　woes　in　dreaming　that　he　knew　where　Madagascar　was　just　as　easy　as　anything。

It　was　this　lie　that　came　back　to　John　the　night　he　was　trying　to　be　affected　by　the　revival。　　And　he　was　very　much　ashamed　of　it；　and　believed　he　would　never　tell　another。　　But　then　he　fell　thinking　whether；　with　the　〃picra；〃　and　the　going　to　bed　in　the　afternoon；　and　the　loss　of　his　supper；　he　had　not　been　sufficiently　paid　for　it。　And　in　this　unhopeful　frame　of　mind　he　dropped　off　in　sleep。

And　the　truth　must　be　told；　that　in　the　morning　John　was　no　nearer　to　realizing　the　terrors　he　desired　to　feel。　　But　he　was　a　conscientious　boy；　and　would　do　nothing　to　interfere　with　the　influences　of　the　season。　　He　not　only　put　himself　away　from　them　all；　but　he　refrained　from　doing　almost　everything　that　he　wanted　to　do。　　There　came　at　that　time　a　newspaper；　a　secular　newspaper；　which　had　in　it　a　long　account　of　the　Long　Island　races；　in　which　the　famous　horse　〃Lexington〃　was　a　runner。　　John　was　fond　of　horses；　he　knew　about　Lexington；　and　he　had　looked　forward　to　the　result　of　this　race　with　keen　interest。　　But　to　read　the　account　of　it　how　he　felt　might　destroy　his　seriousness　of　mind；　and　in　all　reverence　and　simplicity　he　felt　itbe　a　means　of　〃grieving　away　the　Holy　Spirit。〃　　He　therefore　hid　away　the　paper　in　a　table…drawer；　intending　to　read　it　when　the　revival　should　be　over。　　Weeks　after；　when　he　looked　for　the　newspaper；　it　was　not　to　be　found；　and　John　never　knew　what　〃time　〃　Lexington　made　nor　anything　about　the　race。　　This　was　to　him　a　serious　loss；　but　by　no　means　so　deep　as　another　feeling　that　remained　with　him；　for　when　his　little　world　returned　to　its　ordinary　course；　and　long　after；　John　had　an　uneasy　apprehension　of　his　own　separateness　from　other　people；　in　his　insensibility　to　the　revival。　Perhaps　the　experience　was　a　damage　to　him；　and　it　is　a　pity　that　there　was　no　one　to　explain　that　religion　for　a　little　fellow　like　him　is　not　a　〃scheme。〃




XVII

WAR

Every　boy　who　is　good　for　anything　is　a　natural　savage。　　The　scientists　who　want　to　study　the　primitive　man；　and　have　so　much　difficulty　in　finding　one　anywhere　in　this　sophisticated　age；　couldn't　do　better　than　to　devote　their　attention　to　the　common　country…boy。　　He　has　the　primal；　vigorous　instincts　and　impulses　of　the　African　savage；　without　any　of　the　vices　inherited　from　a　civilization　long　ago　decayed　or　developed　in　an　unrestrained　barbaric　society。　　You　want　to　catch　your　boy　young；　and　study　him　before　he　has　either　virtues　or　vices；　in　order　to　understand　the　primitive　man。

Every　New　England　boy　desires　（or　did　desire　a　generation　ago；　before　children　were　born　sophisticated；　with　a　large　library；　and　with　the　word　〃culture〃　written　on　their　brows）　to　live　by　hunting；　fishing；　and　war。　　The　military　instinct；　which　is　the　special　mark　of　barbarism；　is　strong　in　him。　　It　arises　not　alone　from　his　love　of　fighting；　for　the　boy　is　naturally　as　cowardly　as　the　savage；　but　from　his　fondness　for　display；the　same　that　a　corporal　or　a　general　feels　in　decking　himself　in　tinsel　and　tawdry　colors　and　strutting　about　in　view　of　the　female　sex。　　Half　the　pleasure　in　going　out　to　murder　another　man　with　a　gun　would　be　wanting　if　one　did　not　wear　feathers　and　gold…lace　and　stripes　on　his　pantaloons。　　The　law　also　takes　this　view　of　it；　and　will　not　permit　men　to　shoot　each　other　in　plain　clothes。　　And　the　world　also　makes　some　curious　distinctions　in　the　art　of　killing。　　To　kill　people　with　arrows　is　barbarous；　to　kill　them　with　smooth…bores　and　flintlock　muskets　is　semi…civilized；　to　kill　them　with　breech…loading　rifles　is　civilized。　　That　nation　is　the　most　civilized　which　has　the　appliances　to　kill　the　most　of　another　nation　in　the　shortest　time。　　This　is　the　result　of　six　thousand　years　of　constant　civilization。　　By　and　by；　when　the　nations　cease　to　be　boys；　perhaps　they　will　not　want　to　kill　each　other　at　all。　　Some　people　think　the　world　is　very　old；　but　here　is　an　evidence　that　it　is　very　young；　and；　in　fact；　has　scarcely　yet　begun　to　be　a　world。　　When　the　volcanoes　have　done　spouting；　and　the　earthquakes　are　quaked　out；　and　you　can　tell　what　land　is　going　to　be　solid　and　keep　its　level　twenty…four　hours；　and　the　swamps　are　filled　up；　and　the　deltas　of　the　great　rivers；　like　the　Mississippi　and　the　Nile；　become　terra　firma；　and　men　stop　killing　their　fellows　in　order　to　get　their　land　and　other　property；　then　perhaps　there　will　be　a　world　that　an　angel　would　n't　weep　over。　　Now　one　half　the　world　are　employed　in　getting　ready　to　kill　the　other　half；　some　of　them　by　marching　about　in　uniform；　and　the　others　by　hard　work　to　earn　money　to　pay　taxes　to　buy　uniforms　and　guns。

John　was　not　naturally　very　cruel；　and　it　was　probably　the　love　of　display　quite　as　much　as　of　fighting　that　led　him　into　a　military　life；　for　he；　in　common　with　all　his　comrades；　had　other　traits　of　the　savage。　　One　of　them　was　the　same　passion　for　ornament　that　induces　the　African　to　wear　anklets　and　bracelets　of　hide　and　of　metal；　and　to　decorate　himself　with　tufts　of　hair；　and　to　tattoo　his　body。　　In　John's　day　there　was　a　rage　at　school　among　the　boys　for　wearing　bracelets　woven　of　the　hair　of　the　little　girls。　　Some　of　them　were　wonderful　specimens　of　braiding　and　twist。　　These　were　not　captured　in　war；　but　were　sentimental　tokens　of　friendship　given　by　the　young　maidens　themselves。　　John's　own　hair　was　kept　so　short　（as　became　a　warrior）　that　you　couldn't　have　made　a　bracelet　out　of　it；　or　anything　except　a　paintbrush；　but　the　little　girls　were　not　under　military　law；　and　they　willingly　sacrificed　their　tresses　to　decorate　the　soldiers　they　esteemed。　　As　the　Indian　is　honored　in　proportion　to　the　scalps　he　can　display；　at　John's　school　the　boy　was　held　in　highest　respect　who　could　show　the　most　hair　trophies　on　his　wrist。　John　himself　had　a　variety　that　would　have　pleased　a　Mohawk；　fine　and　coarse　and　of　all　colors。　　There　were　the　flaxen；　the　faded　straw；　the　glossy　black；　the　lustrous　brown；　the　dirty　yellow；　the　undecided　auburn；　and　the　fiery　red。　　Perhaps　his　pulse　beat　more　quickly　under　the　red　hair　of　Cynthia　Rudd　than　on　account　of　all　the　other　wristlets　put　together；　it　was　a　sort　of　gold…tried…in…the…fire…color　to　John；　and　burned　there　with　a　steady　flame。　　Now　that　Cynthia　had　become　a　Christian；　this　band　of　hair　seemed　a　more　sacred　if　less　glowing　possession　（for　all　detached　hair　will　fade　in　time）；　and　if　he　had　known　anything　about　saints；　he　would　have　imagined　that　it　was　a　part　of　the　aureole　that　always　goes　with　a　saint。　　But　I　am　bound　to　say　that　while　John　had　a　tender　feeling　for　this　red　string；　his　sentiment　was　not　that　of　the　man　who　becomes　entangled　in　the　meshes　of　a　woman's　hair；　an