five tales-第42部分
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ing form; blurring into soft blackness; vanishing; but there none the lessall therethe hedge of his possessions。 He heard the door of the drawing…room open; the voices of his wife and the governess in the hall; going up to bed。 If only they didn't look in here! If only! The voices ceased。 He was safe nowhad but to follow in a few minutes; to make sure of Kathleen alone。 He turned round and stared down the length of the dark dining…room; over the rosewood table; to where in the mirror above the sideboard at the far end; his figure bathed; a stain; a mere blurred shadow; he made his way down to it along the table edge; and stood before himself as close as he could get。 His throat and the roof of his mouth felt dry with nervousness; he put out his finger and touched his face in the glass。 'You're an ass!' he thought。 'Pull yourself together; and get it over。 She will see; of course she will!' He swallowed; smoothed his moustache; and walked out。 Going up the stairs; his heart beat painfully; but he was in for it now; and marched straight into her room。 Dressed only in a loose blue wrapper; she was brushing her dark hair before the glass。 Mr。 Bosengate went up to her and stood there silent; looking down。 The words he had thought of were like a swarm of bees buzzing in his head; yet not one would fly from between his lips。 His wife went on brushing her hair under the light which shone on her polished elbows。 She looked up at him from beneath one lifted eyebrow。
〃Well; deartired?〃
With a sort of vehemence the single word 〃No〃 passed out。 A faint; a quizzical smile flitted over her face; she shrugged her shoulders ever so gently。 That gesturehe had seen it before! And in desperate desire to make her understand; he put his hand on her lifted arm。
〃Kathleen; stoplisten to me!〃 His fingers tightened in his agitation and eagerness to make his great discovery known。 But before he could get out a word he became conscious of that cool round arm; conscious of her eyes half…closed; sliding round at him; of her half…smiling lips; of her neck under the wrapper。 And he stammered:
〃I wantI mustKathleen; I…〃
She lifted her shoulders again in that little shrug。 〃YesI know; all right!〃
A wave of heat and shame; and of God knows what came over Mr。 Bosengate; he fell on his knees and pressed his forehead to her arm; and he was silent; more silent than the grave。 Nothingnothing came from him but two long sighs。 Suddenly he felt her hand stroke his cheekcompassionately; it seemed to him。 She made a little movement towards him; her lips met his; and he remembered nothing but that。。。。
In his own room Mr。 Bosengate sat at his wide open window; smoking a cigarette; there was no light。 Moths went past; the moon was creeping up。 He sat very calm; puffing the smoke out in to the night air。 Curious thing…life! Curious world! Curious forces in it making one do the opposite of what one wished; alwaysalways making one do the opposite; it seemed! The furtive light from that creeping moon was getting hold of things down there; stealing in among the boughs of the trees。 'There's something ironical;' he thought; 'which walks about。 Things don't come off as you think they will。 I meant; I tried but one doesn't change like that all of a sudden; it seems。 Fact is; life's too big a thing for one! All the same; I'm not the man I was yesterdaynot quite!' He closed his eyes; and in one of those flashes of vision which come when the senses are at rest; he saw himself as it were far down belowdown on the floor of a street narrow as a grave; high as a mountain; a deep dark slit of a street walking down there; a black midget of a fellow; among other black midgetshis wife; and the little soldier; the judge; and those jury chapsfantoches straight up on their tiny feet; wandering down there in that dark; infinitely tall; and narrow street。 'Too much for one!' he thought; 'Too high for oneno getting on top of it。 We've got to be kind; and help one another; and not expect too much; and not think too much。 That'sall!' And; squeezing out his cigarette; he took six deep breaths of the night air; and got into bed。
INDIAN SUMMER OF A FORSYTE
〃And Summer's lease hath all too short a date。〃 Shakespeare
I
In the last day of May in the early 'nineties; about six o'clock of the evening; old Jolyon Forsyte sat under the oak tree below the terrace of his house at Robin Hill。 He was waiting for the midges to bite him; before abandoning the glory of the afternoon。 His thin brown hand; where blue veins stood out; held the end of a cigar in its tapering; long…nailed fingersa pointed polished nail had survived with him from those earlier Victorian days when to touch nothing; even with the tips of the fingers; had been so distinguished。 His domed forehead; great white moustache; lean cheeks; and long lean jaw were covered from the westering sunshine by an old brown Panama hat。 His legs were crossed; in all his attitude was serenity and a kind of elegance; as of an old man who every morning put eau de Cologne upon his silk handkerchief。 At his feet lay a woolly brown…and…white dog trying to be a Pomeranianthe dog Balthasar between whom and old Jolyon primal aver…sion had changed into attachment with the years。 Close to his chair was a swing; and on the swing was seated one of Holly's dolls called 'Duffer Alice'… …with her body fallen over her legs and her doleful nose buried in a black petticoat。 She was never out of disgrace; so it did not matter to her how she sat。 Below the oak tree the lawn dipped down a bank; stretched to the fernery; and; beyond that refinement; became fields; dropping to the pond; the coppice; and the prospect 'Fine; remarkable'at which Swithin Forsyte; from under this very tree; had stared five years ago when he drove down with Irene to look at the house。 Old Jolyon had heard of his brother's exploitthat drive which had become quite celebrated on Forsyte 'Change。' Swithin! And the fellow had gone and died; last November; at the age of only seventy…nine; renewing the doubt whether Forsytes could live for ever; which had first arisen when Aunt Ann passed away。 Died! and left only Jolyon and James; Roger and Nicholas and Timothy; Julia; Hester; Susan! And old Jolyon thought: 'Eighty…five! I don't feel itexcept when I get that pain。'
His memory went searching。 He had not felt his age since he had bought his nephew Soames' ill…starred house and settled into it here at Robin Hill over three years ago。 It was as if he had been getting younger every spring; living in the country with his son and his grandchildrenJune; and the little ones of the second marriage; Jolly and Holly; living down here out of the racket of London and the cackle of Forsyte 'Change;' free of his boards; in a delicious atmosphere of no work and all play; with plenty of occupation in the perfecting and mellowing of the house and its twenty acres; and in ministering to the whims of Holly and Jolly。 All the knots and crankiness; which had gathered in his heart during that long and tragic business of June; Soames; Irene his wife; and poor young Bosinney; had been smoothed out。 Even June had thrown off her melancholy at lastwitness this travel in Spain she was taking now with her father and her stepmother。 Curiously perfect peace was left by their departure; blissful; yet blank; because his son was not there。 Jo was never anything but a comfort and a pleasure to him nowadaysan amiable chap; but women; somehoweven the bestgot a little on one's nerves; unless of course one admired them。
Far…off a cuckoo called; a wood…pigeon was cooing from the first elm…tree in the field; and how the daisies and buttercups had sprung up after the last mowing! The wind had got into the sou'…west; tooa delicious air; sappy! He pushed his hat back and let the sun fall on his chin and cheek。 Somehow; to…day; he wanted company wanted a pretty face to look at。 People treated the old as if they wanted nothing。 And with the un…Forsytean philosophy which ever intruded on his soul; he thought: 'One's never had enough'
With a foot in the grave one'll want something; I shouldn't be surprised!' Down hereaway from the exigencies of affairshis grandchildren; and the flowers; trees; birds of his little domain; to say nothing of sun and moon and stars above them; said; 'Open; sesame;' to him day and night。 And sesame had openedhow much; perhaps; he did not know。 He had always been responsive to what they had begun to call 'Nature;' genuinely; almost religiously responsive; though he had never lost his habit of calling a sunset a sunset and a view a view; however deeply they might move him。 But nowadays Nature actually made him ache; he appreciated it so。 Every one of these calm; bright; lengthening days; with Holly's hand in his; and the dog Balthasar in front looking studiously for what he never found; he would stroll; watching the roses open; fruit budding on the walls; sunlight brightening the oak leaves and saplings in the coppice; watching the water…lily leaves unfold and glisten; and the silvery young corn of the one wheat field; listening to the starlings and skylarks; and the Alderney cows chewing the cud; flicking slow their tufted tails; and every one of these fine days he ached a little from sheer love of it all; feeling perhaps; deep down; that he had not very much longer to enjoy it。 The thought that some day perhaps not ten years hence; perhaps not fiveall this world would be taken away from him; before he had exhausted his powers of loving it; seemed to him in the nature of an injustice brooding over his horizon。 If anything came after this life; it wouldn't be what he wanted; not Robin Hill; and flowers and birds and pretty facestoo few; even now; of those about him! With the years his dislike of humbug had increased; the orthodoxy he had worn in the 'sixties; as he had worn side…whiskers out of sheer exuberance; had long dropped off; leaving him reverent before three things alonebeauty; upright conduct; and the sense of property; and the greatest of these now was beauty。 He had always had wide interests; and; indeed could sti