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the crime of sylvestre bonnard-第22部分

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that her young mind was totally absorbed by the skipping…rope; and I entered bravely into that grave subject。

〃So you have been skipping?〃 I said。  〃It is a very nice amusement; but one that you must not exert yourself too much at; for any excessive exercise of that kind might seriously injure your health; and I should be very much grieved about it JeanneI should be very much grieved; indeed!〃

〃You are very kind; Monsieur;〃 the young girl said; 〃to have come to see me and talk to me like this。  I did not think about thanking you when I came in; because I was too much surprised。  Have you seen Madame de Gabry?  Please tell me something about her; Monsieur。〃

〃Madame de Gabry;〃 I answered; 〃is very well。  I can only tell you about her; Jeanne; what an old gardener once said of the lady of the castle; his mistress; when somebody anxiously inquired about her: 'Madame is in her road。'  Yes; Madame de Gabry is in her own road; and you know; Jeanne; what a good road it is; and how steadily she can walk upon it。  I went out with her the other day; very; very far away from the house; and we talked about you。  We talked about you; my child; at your mother's grave。〃

〃I am very glad;〃 said Jeanne。

And then; all at once; she began to cry。

I felt too much reverence for those generous tears to attempt in any way to check the emotion that had evoked them。  But in a little while; as the girl wiped her eyes; I asked her;

〃Will you not tell me; Jeanne; why you were thinking so much about that skipping…rope a little while ago?〃

〃Why; indeed I will; Monsieur。  It was only because I had no right to come into the parlour with a skipping…rope。  You know; of course; that I am past the age for playing at skipping。  But when the servant said there was an old gentleman。。。oh!。。。I mean。。。that a gentleman was waiting for me in the parlour; I was making the little girls jump。  Then I tied the rope round my waist in a hurry; so that it might not get lost。  It was wrong。  But I have not been in the habit of having many people come to see me。  And Mademoiselle Prefere never lets us off if we commit any breach of deportment:  so I know she is going to punish me; and I am very sorry about it。〃。。。

〃That is too bad; Jeanne!〃

She became very grave; and said;

〃Yes; Monsieur; it is too bad; because when I am punished myself; I have no more authority over the little girls。〃

I did not at once fully understand the nature of this unpleasantness; but Jeanne explained to me that; as she was charged by Mademoiselle Prefere with the duties of taking care of the youngest class; of washing and dressing the children; of teaching them how to behave; how to sew; how to say the alphabet; of showing them how to play; and; finally; of putting them to bed at the close of the day; she could not make herself obeyed by those turbulent little folks on the days she was condemned to wear a night…cap in the class…room; or to eat her meals standing up; from a plate turned upside down。

Having secretly admired the punishments devised by the Lady of the Enchanted Pelerine; I responded:

〃Then; if I understand you rightly; Jeanne; you are at once a pupil here and a mistress?  It is a condition of existence very common in the world。  You are punished; and you punish?〃

〃Oh; Monsieur!〃 she exclaimed。  〃No! I never punish!〃

〃Then; I suspect;〃 said I; 〃that your indulgence gets you many scoldings from Mademoiselle Prefere?〃

She smiled; and blinked。

Then I said to her that the troubles in which we often involve ourselves; by trying to act according to our conscience and to do the best we can; are never of the sort that totally dishearten and weary us; but are; on the contrary; wholesome trials。  This sort of philosophy touched her very little。  She even appeared totally unmoved by my moral exhortations。  But was not this quite natural on her part?and ought I not to have remembered that it is only those no longer innocent who can find pleasure in the systems of moralists?。。。  I had at least good sense enough to cut short my sermonising。

〃Jeanne;〃 I said; 〃you were asking a moment ago about Madame de Gabry。  Let us talk about that Fairy of yours  She was very prettily made。  Do you do any modelling in wax now?〃

〃I have not a bit of wax;〃 she exclaimed; wringing her hands〃no wax at all!〃

〃No wax!〃 I cried〃in a republic of busy bees?〃

She laughed。

〃And; then; you see; Monsieur; my FIGURINES; as you call them; are not in Mademoiselle Prefere's programme。  But I had begun to make a very small Saint…George for Madame de Gabrya tiny little Saint…George; with a golden cuirass。  Is not that right; Monsieur Bonnardto give Saint…George a gold cuirass?〃

〃Quite right; Jeanne; but what became of it?〃

〃I am going to tell you; I kept it in my pocket because I had no other place to put it; andand I sat down on it by mistake。〃

She drew out of her pocket a little wax figure; which had been squeezed out of all resemblance to human form; and of which the dislocated limbs were only attached to the body by their wire framework。  At the sight of her hero thus marred; she was seized at once with compassion and gaiety。  The latter feeling obtained the mastery; and she burst into a clear laugh; which; however; stopped as suddenly as it had begun。

Mademoiselle Prefere stood at the parlour door; smiling。

〃That dear child!〃 sighed the schoolmistress in her tenderest tone。 〃I am afraid she will tire you。  And; then; your time is so precious!〃

I begged Mademoiselle Prefere to dismiss that illusion; and; rising to take my leave; I took from my pocket some chocolate…cakes and sweets which I had brought with me。

〃That is so nice!〃 said Jeanne; 〃there will be enough to go round the whole school。〃

The lady of the pelerine intervened。

〃Mademoiselle Alexandre;〃 she said; 〃thank Monsieur for his generosity。〃

Jeanne looked at her for an instant in a sullen way; then; turning to me; said with remarkable firmness;

〃Monsieur; I thank you for your kindness in coming to see me。〃

〃Jeanne;〃 I said; pressing both her hands; 〃remain always a good; truthful; brave girl。  Good…bye。〃

As she left the room with her packages of chocolate and confectionery; she happened to strike the handles of her skipping… rope against the back of a chair。  Mademoiselle Prefere; full of indignation; pressed both hands over her heart; under her pelerine; and I almost expected to see her give up her scholastic ghost。

When we found ourselves alone; she recovered her composure; and I must say; without considering myself thereby flattered; that she smiled upon me with one whole side of her face。

〃Mademoiselle;〃 I said; taking advantage of her good humour; 〃I noticed that Jeanne Alexandre looks a little pale。  You know better than I how much consideration and care a young girl requires at her age。  It would only be doing you an injustice by implication to recommend her still more earnestly to your vigilance。〃

These words seemed to ravish her with delight。  She lifted her eyes; as in ecstasy; to the paper spirals of the ceiling; and; clasping her hands exclaimed;

〃How well these eminent men know the art of considering the most trifling details!〃

I called her attention to the fact that the health of a young girl was not a trifling detail; and made my farewell bow。  But she stopped me on the threshold to say to me; very confidentially;

〃You must excuse me; Monsieur。  I am a woman; and I love gloy。  I cannot conceal from you the fact that I feel myself greatly honoured by the presence of a Member of the Institute in my humble institution。〃

I duly excused the weakness of Mademoiselle Prefere; and; thinking only of Jeanne; with the blindness of egotism; kept asking myself all along the road; 〃What are we going to do with this child?〃


June 3。


I had escorted to the Cimetiere de Marnes that day a very aged colleague of mine who; to use the words of Goethe; had consented to die。  The great Goethe; whose own vital force was something extraordinary; actually believed that one never dies until one really wants to diethat is to say; when all those energies which resist dissolution; and teh sum of which make up life itself; have been totally destroyed。  In other words; he believed that people only die when it is no longer possible for them to live。  Good! it is merely a question of properly understanding one another; and when fully comprehended; the magnificent idea of Goethe only brings us quietly back to the song of La Palisse。

Well; my excellent colleague had consented to diethanks to several successive attacks of extremely persuasive apoplexythe last of which proved unanswerable。  I had been very little acquainted with him during his lifetime; but it seems that I became his friend the moment he was dead; for our colleagues assured me in a most serious manner; with deeply sympathetic countenances; that I should act as one of the pall…bearers; and deliver an address over the tomb。

After having read very badly a short address I had written as well as I couldwhich is not saying much for itI started out for a walk in the woods of Ville…d'Avray; and followed; without leaning too much on the Captain's cane; a shaded path on which the sunlight fell; through foliage; in little discs of gold。  Never had the scent of grass and fresh leaves;never had the beauty of the sky over the trees; and the serene might of noble tree contours; so deeply affected my senses and all my being; and the pleasure I felt in that silence; broken only by faintest tinkling sounds; was at once of the senses and of the soul。

I sat down in the shade of the roadside under a clump of young oaks。 And there I made a promise to myself not to die; or at least not to consent to die; before I should be again able to sit down under and oak; wherein the great peace of the open countryI could meditate on the nature of the soul and the ultimate destiny of man。 A bee; whose brown breast…plate gleamed in the sun like armour of old gold; came to light upon a mallow…flower close by medarkly rich in colour; and fully opened upon its tufted stalk。  It was certainly not the first time I had witnessed so common an incident; but it was the first time that I had watched it with such comprehensive and friendly curiosity。  

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