the crime of sylvestre bonnard-第26部分

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〃I　thought　that　Mademoiselle　Prefere　was　right。　　But　I　don't　care　at　all。。。（I　know　it　is　naughty　what　I　am　going　to　say）。。。I　don't　care　a　bit；　not　a　bit；　whether　Mademoiselle　Prefere　is　or　is　not　right　about　anything。〃

〃Well；　then；　content　yourself；　Jeanne；　Mademoiselle　Prefere　was　not　right。〃

〃Yes；　yes；　she　was　quite　right　that　time；　but　I　wanted　to　love　everybody　who　loved　youeverybody　without　exceptionand　I　cannot　do　it；　because　it　would　never　be　possible　for　me　to　love　Mademoiselle　Prefere。〃

〃Listen；　Jeanne；〃　I　answered；　very　seriously；　〃Mademoiselle　Prefere　has　become　good　to　you；　try　now　to　be　good　to　her。〃

She　answered　sharply；

〃It　is　very　easy　for　Mademoiselle　Prefere　to　be　good　to　me；　and　it　would　be　very　difficult　indeed　for　me　to　be　good　to　her。〃

I　then　said；　in　a　still　more　serious　tone：

〃My　child；　the　authority　of　a　teacher　is　sacred。　　You　must　consider　your　schoolmistress　as　occupying　the　place　to　you　of　the　mother　whom　you　lost。〃

I　had　scarcely　uttered　this　solemn　stupidity　when　I　bitterly　regretted　it。　　The　child　turned　pale；　and　the　tears　sprang　to　her　eyes。

〃Oh；　Monsieur！〃　she　cried；　〃how　could　you　say　such　a　thingYOU？　You　never　knew　mamma！〃

Ay；　just　Heaven！　　I　did　know　her　mamma。　　And　how　indeed　could　I　have　been　foolish　enough　to　have　said　what　I　did？

She　repeated；　as　if　to　herself：

〃Mamma！　my　dear　mamma！　my　poor　mamma！〃

A　lucky　chance　prevented　me　from　playing　the　fool　any　further。　　I　do　not　know　how　it　happened　at　that　moment　I　looked　as　if　I　was　going　to　cry。　　At　my　age　one　does　not　cry。　　It　must　have　been　a　bad　cough　which　brought　the　tears　into　my　eyes。　　But；　anyhow；　appearances　were　in　my　favour。　　Jeanne　was　deceived　by　them。　　Oh！　what　a　pure　and　radiant　smile　suddenly　shone　out　under　her　beautiful　wet　eyelashes　like　sunshine　among　branches　after　a　summer　shower！　　We　took　each　other　by　the　hand　and　sat　a　long　while　without　saying　a　word　absolutely　happy。　　Those　celestial　harmonies　which　I　once　thought　I　heard　thrilling　through　my　soul　while　I　knelt　before　that　tomb　to　which　a　saintly　woman　had　guided　me；　suddenly　awoke　again　in　my　heart；　slow…swelling　through　the　blissful　moments　with　infinite　softness。　　Doubtless　the　child　whose　hand　pressed　my　own　also　heard　them；　and　then；　elevated　by　their　enchantment　above　the　material　world；　the　poor　old　man　and　the　artless　young　girl　both　knew　that　a　tender　ghostly　Presence　was　making　sweetness　all　about　them。

〃My　child；〃　I　said　at　last；　〃I　am　very　old；　and　many　secrets　of　life；　which　you　will　only　learn　little　by　little；　have　been　revealed　to　me。　Believe　me；　the　future　is　shaped　out　of　the　past。　　Whatever　you　can　do　to　live　contentedly　here；　without　impatience　and　without　fretting；　will　help　you　live　some　future　day　in　peace　and　joy　in　your　own　home。　Be　gentle；　and　learn　how　to　suffer。　　When　one　suffers　patiently　one　suffers　less。　　If　you　should　be　badly　treated；　Madame　de　Gabry　and　I　would　both　consider　ourselves　badly　treated　in　your　person。〃。。。

〃Is　your　health　very　good　indeed；　dear　Monsieur？〃

It　was　Mademoiselle　Prefere；　approaching　stealthily　behind　us；　who　had　asked　the　question　with　a　peculiar　smile。　　My　first　idea　was　to　tell　her　to　go　to　the　devil；　my　second；　that　her　mouth　was　as　little　suited　for　smiling　as　a　frying…pan　for　musical　purposes；　my　third　was　to　answer　her　politely　and　assure　her　that　I　hoped　she　was　very　well。

She　sent　the　young　girl　out　to　take　a　walk　in　the　garden；　then；　pressing　one　hand　upon　her　pelerine　and　extending　the　other　towards　the　Tableau　d'Honneur；　she　showed　me　the　name　of　Jeanne　Alexandre　written　at　the　head　of　the　list　in　large　text。

〃I　am　very　much　pleased；〃　I　said　to　her；　〃to　find　that　you　are　satisfied　with　the　behaviour　of　that　child。　　Nothing　could　delight　me　more；　and　I　am　inclined　to　attribute　this　happy　result　to　your　affectionate　vigilance。　　I　have　taken　the　liberty　to　send　you　a　few　books　which　I　think　may　serve　both　to　instruct　and　to　amuse　young　girls。　　You　will　be　able　to　judge　by　glancing　over　them　whether　they　are　adapted　to　the　perusal　of　Mademoiselle　Alexandre　and　her　companions。〃

The　gratitude　of　the　schoolmistress　not　only　overflowed　in　words；　but　seemed　about　to　take　the　form　of　tearful　sensibility。　　In　order　to　change　the　subject　I　observed；

〃What　a　beautiful　day　this　is！〃

〃Yes；〃　she　replied；　〃and　if　this　weather　continues；　those　dear　children　will　have　a　nice　time　for　their　enjoyment。〃

〃I　suppose　you　are　referring　to　the　holidays。　　But　Mademoiselle　Alexandre；　who　has　no　relatives；　cannot　go　away。　　What　in　the　world　is　she　going　to　do　all　alone　in　this　great　big　house？〃

〃Oh；　we　will　do　everything　we　can　to　amuse　her。。。。　　I　will　take　her　to　the　museums　and…〃

She　hesitated；　blushed；　and　continued；

〃and　to　your　house；　if　you　will　permit　me。〃

〃Why　of　course！〃　　I　exclaimed。　　〃That　is　a　first…rate　idea。〃

We　separated　very　good　friends　with　one　another。　　I　with　her；　because　I　had　been　able　to　obtain　what　I　desired；　she　with　me；　for　no　appreciable　motivewhich　fact；　according　to　Plato；　elevated　her　into　the　highest　rank　of　the　Hierarchy　of　Souls。

。。。And　nevertheless　it　is　not　without　a　presentiment　of　evil　that　I　find　myself　on　the　point　of　introducing　this　person　into　my　house。　And　I　would　be　very　glad　indeed　to　see　Jeanne　in　charge　of　anybody　else　rather　than　of　her。　　Maitre　Mouche　and　Mademoiselle　Prefere　are　characters　whom　I　cannot　at　all　understand。　　I　never　can　imagine　why　they　say　what　they　do　say；　nor　why　they　do　what　they　do；　they　have　a　mysterious　something　in　common　which　makes　me　feel　uneasy。　As　Jeanne　said　to　me　a　little　while　ago：　　〃One　is　uneasy　about　what　one　cannot　understand。〃

Alas！　at　my　age　one　has　learned　only　too　well　how　little　sincerity　there　is　in　life；　one　has　learned　only　too　well　how　much　one　loses　by　living　a　long　time　in　this　world；　and　one　feels　that　one　can　no　longer　trust　any　except　the　young。


August　12。


I　waited　for　them。　　In　fact；　I　waited　for　them　very　impatiently。　　I　exerted　all　my　powers　of　insinuation　and　of　coaxing　to　induce　Therese　to　receive　them　kindly；　but　my　powers　in　this　direction　are　very　limited。　　They　came。　　Jeanne　was　neater　and　prettier　than　I　had　ever　expected　to　see　her。　　She　has　not；　it　is　true；　anything　approaching　the　charm　of　her　mother。　　But　to…day；　for　the　first　time；　I　observed　that　she　has　a　pleasing　face；　and　a　pleasing　face　is　of　great　advantage　to　a　woman　in　this　world。　　I　think　that　her　hat　was　a　little　on　one　side；　but　she　smiled；　and　the　City　of　Books　was　all　illuminated　by　that　smile。

I　watched　Therese　to　see　whether　the　rigid　manners　of　the　old　housekeeper　would　soften　a　little　at　the　sight　of　the　young　girl。　　I　saw　her　turning　her　lustreless　eyes　upon　Jeanne；　I　saw　her　long　wrinkled　face；　her　toothless　mouth；　and　that　pointed　chin　of　hers　like　the　chin　of　some　puissant　old　fairy。　　And　that　was　all　I　could　see。

Mademoiselle　Prefere　made　her　appearance　all　in　blueadvanced；　retreated；　skipped；　tripped；　cried　out；　sighed；　cast　her　eyes　down；　rolled　her　eyes　up；　bewildered　herself　with　excusessaid　she　dared　not；　and　nevertheless　daredsaid　she　would　never　dare　again；　and　nevertheless　dared　againmade　courtesies　innumerablemade；　in　short；　all　the　fuss　she　could。

〃What　a　lot　of　books！〃　she　screamed。　　〃And　have　you　really　read　them　all；　Monsieur　Bonnard？〃

〃Alas！　I　have；〃　I　replied；　〃and　that　is　just　the　reason　that　I　do　not　know　anything；　for　there　is　not　a　single　one　of　those　books　which　does　not　contradict　some　other　book；　so　that　by　the　time　one　has　read　them　all　one　does　not　know　what　to　think　about　anything。　　That　is　just　my　condition；　Madame。〃

Thereupon　she　called　Jeanne　for　the　purpose　of　communicating　her　impressions。　　But　Jeanne　was　looking　out　of　the　window。

〃How　beautiful　it　is！〃　she　said　to　us。　　〃How　I　love　to　see　the　river　flowing！　　It　makes　you　think　about　all　kinds　of　things。〃

Mademoiselle　Prefere　having　removed　her　hat　and　exhibited　a　forehead　tricked　out　with　blonde　curls；　my　housekeeper　sturdily　snatched　up　the　hat　at　once；　with　the　observation　that　she　did　not　like　to　see　people's　clothes　scattered　over　the　furniture。　　Then　she　approached　Jeanne　and　asked　her　for　her　〃things；〃　calling　her　〃my　little　lady！〃　Where…upon　the　little　lady；　giving　up　her　cloak　and　hat；　exposed　to　view　a　very　graceful　neck　and　a　lithe　figure；　whose　outlines　were　beautifully　relieved　against　the　great　glow　of　the　open　window；　and　I　could　have　wished　that　some　one　else　might　have　seen　her　at　that　momentsome　one　very　different　from　an　aged　housekeeper；　a　schoolmistress　frizzled　like　a　sheep；　and　this　old　humbug　of　an　archivist　and　paleographer。

〃So　you　are　looking　at　the　Seine；〃　I　said　to　her。　　〃See　how　it　sparkles　in　the　sun！〃

〃Yes；〃　she　replied；　leaning　over　the　windowbar；　〃it　looks　like　a　flowing　of　fire。　　But　see　how　nice　and　cool　it　looks　on　the　other　side　over　there　under　the　shadow　of　the　willows！　　That　little　spot　there　pleases　me　better　than　all　the　rest。〃

〃Good！〃　I　answered。　　〃I　see　that　the　river　has　a　charm　for　you。　　How　would　you　like；　with　Mademoiselle　Prefere's　permission；　to　make　a　trip　to　Saint…Cloud？　　We　should　certainly　be　in　time　to　catch　the　steamboat　just　below　the　Pont…Royal。〃

Jeanne　was　delighted　with　my　suggestion；　and　Mademoiselle　Prefere　willing　to　make　any　sacrifice。　　But　my　housekeeper　was　not　at　all　willing　to　let　us　go　off　so　unconcernedly。　　She　summoned　me　into　the　dining…room；　whither　I　followed　her　in　fear　and　trembling。

〃Monsieur；〃　she　said　to　me　as　soon　as　we　found　ourselves　alone；　〃you　never　think　about　anything；　and　it　is　always　I　who　have　to　think　about　everything。　　Luckily　for　you　I　have　a　good　memory。〃

I　did　not　think　that　it　was　a　favourable　moment　for　any　attempt　to　dispel　this　wild　illusion。　　She　continued：

〃So　you　were　going　off　without　saying　a　word　to　me　about　what　this　little　lady　likes　to　eat？　　At　her　age　one　does　not　know　anything；　one　does　not　care　about　anything　in　particular；　one　eats　like　a　bird。　　You　yourself；　Monsieur；　are　very　difficult　to　please；　but　at　least　you　know　what　is　good：　　it　is　very　different　with　these　young　peoplethey　do　not　know　anything　about　cooking。　　It　is　often　the　very　best　thing　which　they　think　the　worst；　and　what　is　bad　seems　to　them　good；　because　their　s