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THE MAKE´BELIEVE MAN
THE MAKE´BELIEVE
MAN
By Richard Harding Davis
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THE MAKE´BELIEVE MAN
I
I had made up my mind that when my vacation came I would spend it
seeking adventures。 I have always wished for adventures�察�but�察�though I
am old enoughI was twenty´five last Octoberand have always gone
half´way to meet them�察�adventures avoid me。 Kinney says it is my fault。
He holds that if you want adventures you must go after them。
Kinney sits next to me at Joyce & Carboy's�察�the woollen manufacturers�察�
where I am a stenographer�察�and Kinney is a clerk�察�and we both have rooms
at Mrs。 Shaw's boarding´house。 Kinney is only a year older than myself�察�
but he is always meeting with adventures。 At night�察�when I have sat up
late reading law�察 �so that I may fit myself for court reporting�察 �and in the
hope that some day I may become a member of the bar�察�he will knock at
my door and tell me some surprising thing that has just happened to him。
Sometimes he has followed a fire´engine and helped people from a fire´
escape�察 �or he has pulled the shield off a policeman�察 �or at the bar of the
Hotel Knickerbocker has made friends with a stranger�察�who turns out to be
no less than a nobleman or an actor。 And women�察 �especially beautiful
women�察�are always pursuing Kinney in taxicabs and calling upon him for
assistance。 Just to look at Kinney�察�without knowing how clever he is at
getting people out of their difficulties�察�he does not appear to be a man to
whom you would turn in time of trouble。 You would think women in
distress would appeal to some one bigger and stronger�察�would sooner ask a
policeman。 But�察�on the contrary�察�it is to Kinney that women always run�察�
especially�察 �as I have said�察 �beautiful women。 Nothing of the sort ever
happens to me。 I suppose�察�as Kinney says�察�it is because he was born and
brought up in New York City and looks and acts like a New York man�察�
while I�察�until a year ago�察�have always lived at Fairport。 Fairport is a very
pretty harbor�察�but it does not train one for adventures。 We arranged to take
our vacation at the same time�察�and together。 At least Kinney so arranged it。
I see a good deal of him�察�and in looking forward to my vacation�察�not the
least pleasant feature of it was that everything connected with Joyce &
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THE MAKE´BELIEVE MAN
Carboy and Mrs。 Shaw's boarding´house would be left behind me。 But
when Kinney proposed we should go together�察 �I could not see how�察�
without being rude�察�I could refuse his company�察�and when he pointed out
that for an expedition in search of adventure I could not select a better
guide�察�I felt that he was right。
;Sometimes�察─�he said�察 �I can see you don't believe that half the things I
tell you have happened to me�察�really have happened。 Now�察�isn't that so�拭─�
To find the answer that would not hurt his feelings I hesitated�察�but he
did not wait for my answer。 He seldom does。
;Well�察─�on this trip�察─�he went on�察 �you will see Kinney on the job。 You
won't have to take my word for it。 You will see adventures walk up and
eat out of my hand。;
Our vacation came on the first of September�察�but we began to plan for
it in April�察�and up to the night before we left New York we never ceased
planning。 Our difficulty was that having been brought up at Fairport�察�
which is on the Sound�察�north of New London�察�I was homesick for a smell
of salt marshes and for the sight of water and ships。 Though they were
only schooners carrying cement�察�I wanted to sit in the sun on the string´
piece of a wharf and watch them。 I wanted to beat about the harbor in a
catboat�察�and feel the tug and pull of the tiller。 Kinney protested that that
was no way to spend a vacation or to invite adventure。 His face was set
against Fairport。 The conversation of clam´diggers�察 �he said�察 �did not
appeal to him�察 �and he complained that at Fairport our only chance of
adventure would be my capsizing the catboat or robbing a lobster´pot。
He insisted we should go to the mountains�察�where we would meet what he
always calls ;our best people。; In September�察 �he explained�察 �everybody
goes to the mountains to recuperate after the enervating atmosphere of the
sea´shore。 To this I objected that the little sea air we had inhaled at Mrs。
Shaw's basement dining´room and in the subway need cause us no anxiety。
And so�察�along these lines�察�throughout the sleepless�察�sultry nights of June�察�
July�察�and August�察�we fought it out。 There was not a summer resort within
five hundred miles of New York City we did not consider。 From the
information bureaus and passenger agents of every railroad leaving New
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THE MAKE´BELIEVE MAN
York�察 �Kinney procured a library of timetables�察 �maps�察 �folders�察 �and
pamphlets�察�illustrated with the most attractive pictures of summer hotels�察�
golf links�察�tennis courts�察�and boat´ houses。 For two months he carried on
a correspondence with the proprietors of these hotels�察 �and in comparing
the different prices they asked him for suites of rooms and sun parlors
derived constant satisfaction。
;The Outlook House�察─�he would announce�察 �wants twenty´four dollars
a day for bedroom�察 �parlor�察 �and private bath。 While for the same
accommodations the Carteret Arms asks only twenty。 But the Carteret
has no tennis court�察 �and then again�察 �the Outlook has no garage�察 �nor are
dogs allowed in the bedrooms。;
As Kinney could not play lawn tennis�察�and as neither of us owned an
automobile or a dog�察 �or twenty´four dollars�察 �these details to me seemed
superfluous�察 �but there was no health in pointing that out to Kinney。
Because�察�as he himself says�察�he has so vivid an imagination that what he
lacks he can ;make believe; he has�察�and the pleasure of possession is his。
Kinney gives a great deal of thought to his clothes�察�and the question of
what he should wear on his vacation was upon his mind。 When I said I
thought it was nothing to worry about�察 �he snorted indignantly。 ;YOU
wouldn't� ─�he said。 ;If I'D been brought up in a catboat�察�and had a tan
like a red Indian�察�and hair like a Broadway blonde�察�I wouldn't worry either。
Mrs。 Shaw says you look exactly like a British peer in disguise。; I had
never seen a British peer�察�with or without his disguise�察�and I admit I was
interested。
;Why are the girls in this house�察─�demanded Kinney�察 �always running
to your room to borrow matches�拭 �Because they admire your CLOTHES�拭�
If they're crazy about clothes�察�why don't they come to ME for matches�拭─�
;You are always out at night�察─�I said。
;You know that's not the answer�察─�he protested。 ;Why do the type´
writer girls at the office always go to YOU to sharpen their pencils and tell
them how to spell the hard words�拭 �Why do the girls in the lunch´rooms
serve you first�拭 �Because they're hypnotized by your clothes�拭 �Is THAT
it�拭─�
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;Do they�拭─�I asked�察 �I hadn't noticed。;
Kinney snorted and tossed up his arms。 ;He hadn't noticed� ─�he kept
repeating。 ;He hadn't noticed� ─ �For his vacation Kinney bought a
second´hand suit´case。 It was covered with labels of hotels in France and
Switzerland。
;Joe�察─�I said�察 �if you carry that bag you will be a walking falsehood。;
Kinney's name is Joseph Forbes Kinney�察 �he dropped the Joseph
because he said it did not appear often enough in the Social Register�察�and
could be found only in the Old Testament�察�and he has asked me to call him
Forbes。 Having first known him as ;Joe�察─�I occasionally forget。
;My name is NOT Joe�察─�he said sternly�察 �and I have as much right to
carry a second´hand bag as a new one。 The bag says IT has been to
Europe。 It does not say that I have been there。;
;But�察�you probably will�察─�I pointed out�察 �and then some one who has
really visited those places;
;Listen� ─�commanded Kinney。 ;If you want adventures you must be
somebody of importance。 No one will go shares in an adventure with Joe
Kinney�察 �a twenty´dollar´a´week clerk�察 �the human adding machine�察 �the
hall´room boy。 But Forbes Kinney�察�Esq。�察�with a bag from Europe�察�and a
Harvard ribbon round his hat;
;Is that a Harvard ribbon round your hat�拭─�I asked。
;It is� ─�declared Kinney�察 �and I have a Yale ribbon�察�and a Turf Club
ribbon�察�too。 They come on hooks�察�and you hook 'em on to match your
clothes�察�or the company you keep。 And�察�what's more�察─�he continued�察�with
some heat�察 �I've borrowed a tennis racket