samuel titmarsh and the great hoggarty diamond-第27部分

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The　fact　was；　that　Mr。　Preston　had　fallen　in　love　with　Mary　in　a
much　more　serious　way　than　any　of　us　imagined；　for　I　do　believe　he
invited　his　brother…in…law　to　Richmond　for　no　other　purpose　than　to
pay　court　to　his　son's　nurse。　　And　one　day；　as　I　was　coming　post…
haste　to　thank　him　for　the　place　he　had　procured　for　me；　being
directed　by　Mr。　Charles　to　the　〃scrubbery；〃　as　he　called　it；　which
led　down　to　the　riverthere；　sure　enough；　I　found　Mr。　Preston；　on
his　knees　too；　on　the　gravel…walk；　and　before　him　Mary；　holding　the
little　lord。

〃Dearest　creature！〃　says　Mr。　Preston；　〃do　but　listen　to　me；　and
I'll　make　your　husband　consul　at　Timbuctoo！　　He　shall　never　know　of
it；　I　tell　you：　　he　CAN　never　know　of　it。　　I　pledge　you　my　word　as
a　Cabinet　Minister！　　Oh；　don't　look　at　me　in　that　arch　way：　　by
heavens；　your　eyes　kill　me！〃

Mary；　when　she　saw　me；　burst　out　laughing；　and　ran　down　the　lawn；
my　Lord　making　a　huge　crowing；　too；　and　holding　out　his　little　fat
hands。　　Mr。　Preston；　who　was　a　heavy　man；　was　slowly　getting　up；
when；　catching　a　sight　of　me　looking　as　fierce　as　the　crater　of
Mount　Etna；he　gave　a　start　back　and　lost　his　footing；　and　rolled
over　and　over；　walloping　into　the　water　at　the　garden's　edge。　　It
was　not　deep；　and　he　came　bubbling　and　snorting　out　again　in　as
much　fright　as　fury。

〃You　d…d　ungrateful　villain！〃　says　he；　〃what　do　you　stand　there
laughing　for？〃

〃I'm　waiting　your　orders　for　Timbuctoo；　sir；〃　says　I；　and　laughed
fit　to　die；　and　so　did　my　Lord　Tiptoff　and　his　party；　who　joined　us
on　the　lawn：　　and　Jeames　the　footman　came　forward　and　helped　Mr。
Preston　out　of　the　water。

〃Oh；　you　old　sinner！〃　says　my　Lord；　as　his　brother…in…law　came　up
the　slope。　　〃Will　that　heart　of　yours　be　always　so　susceptible；　you
romantic；　apoplectic；　immoral　man？〃

Mr。　Preston　went　away；　looking　blue　with　rage；　and　ill…treated　his
wife　for　a　whole　month　afterwards。

〃At　any　rate；〃　says　my　Lord；　〃Titmarsh　here　has　got　a　place　through
our　friend's　unhappy　attachment；　and　Mrs。　Titmarsh　has　only　laughed
at　him；　so　there　is　no　harm　there。　　It's　an　ill　wind　that　blows
nobody　good；　you　know。〃

〃Such　a　wind　as　that；　my　Lord；　with　due　respect　to　you；　shall　never
do　good　to　me。　　I　have　learned　in　the　past　few　years　what　it　is　to
make　friends　with　the　mammon　of　unrighteousness；　and　that　out　of
such　friendship　no　good　comes　in　the　end　to　honest　men。　　It　shall
never　be　said　that　Sam　Titmarsh　got　a　place　because　a　great　man　was
in　love　with　his　wife；　and　were　the　situation　ten　times　as
valuable；　I　should　blush　every　day　I　entered　the　office…doors　in
thinking　of　the　base　means　by　which　my　fortune　was　made。　　You　have
made　me　free；　my　Lord；　and；　thank　God！　I　am　willing　to　work。　　I　can
easily　get　a　clerkship　with　the　assistance　of　my　friends；　and　with
that　and　my　wife's　income；　we　can　manage　honestly　to　face　the
world。〃

This　rather　long　speech　I　made　with　some　animation；　for；　look　you；
I　was　not　over　well　pleased　that　his　Lordship　should　think　me
capable　of　speculating　in　any　way　on　my　wife's　beauty。

My　Lord　at　first　turned　red；　and　looked　rather　angry；　but　at　last
he　held　out　his　hand　and　said；　〃You　are　right；　Titmarsh；　and　I　am
wrong；　and　let　me　tell　you　in　confidence；　that　I　think　you　are　a
very　honest　fellow。　　You　shan't　lose　by　your　honesty；　I　promise
you。〃

Nor　did　I：　　for　I　am　at　this　present　moment　Lord　Tiptoff's　steward
and　right…hand　man：　　and　am　I　not　a　happy　father？　and　is　not　my
wife　loved　and　respected　by　all　the　country？　and　is　not　Gus　Hoskins
my　brother…in…law；　partner　with　his　excellent　father　in　the　leather
way；　and　the　delight　of　all　his　nephews　and　nieces　for　his　tricks
and　fun？

As　for　Mr。　Brough；　that　gentleman's　history　would　fill　a　volume　of
itself。　　Since　he　vanished　from　the　London　world；　he　has　become
celebrated　on　the　Continent；　where　he　has　acted　a　thousand　parts；
and　met　all　sorts　of　changes　of　high　and　low　fortune。　　One　thing　we
may　at　least　admire　in　the　man；　and　that　is；　his　undaunted　courage；
and　I　can't　help　thinking；　as　I　have　said　before；　that　there　must
be　some　good　in　him；　seeing　the　way　in　which　his　family　are
faithful　to　him。　　With　respect　to　Roundhand；　I　had　best　also　speak
tenderly。　　The　case　of　Roundhand　v。　Tidd　is　still　in　the　memory　of
the　public；　nor　can　I　ever　understand　how　Bill　Tidd；　so　poetic　as
he　was；　could　ever　take　on　with　such　a　fat；　odious；　vulgar　woman　as
Mrs。　R。；　who　was　old　enough　to　be　his　mother。

As　soon　as　we　were　in　prosperity；　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Grimes　Wapshot　made
overtures　to　be　reconciled　to　us；　and　Mr。　Wapshot　laid　bare　to　me
all　the　baseness　of　Mr。　Smithers's　conduct　in　the　Brough
transaction。　　Smithers　had　also　endeavoured　to　pay　his　court　to　me；
once　when　I　went　down　to　Somersetshire；　but　I　cut　his　pretensions
short；　as　I　have　shown。　　〃He　it　was；〃　said　Mr。　Wapshot；　〃who
induced　Mrs。　Grimes　（Mrs。　Hoggarty　she　was　then）　to　purchase　the
West　Diddlesex　shares：　　receiving；　of　course；　a　large　bonus　for
himself。　　But　directly　he　found　that　Mrs。　Hoggarty　had　fallen　into
the　hands　of　Mr。　Brough；　and　that　he　should　lose　the　income　he　made
from　the　lawsuits　with　her　tenants　and　from　the　management　of　her
landed　property；　he　determined　to　rescue　her　from　that　villain
Brough；　and　came　to　town　for　the　purpose。　　He　also；〃　added　Mr。
Wapshot；　〃vented　his　malignant　slander　against　me；　but　Heaven　was
pleased　to　frustrate　his　base　schemes。　　In　the　proceedings
consequent　on　Brough's　bankruptcy；　Mr。　Smithers　could　not　appear；
for　his　own　share　in　the　transactions　of　the　Company　would　have
been　most　certainly　shown　up。　　During　his　absence　from　London；　I
became　the　husbandthe　happy　husbandof　your　aunt。　　But　though；
my　dear　sir；　I　have　been　the　means　of　bringing　her　to　grace；　I
cannot　disguise　from　you　that　Mrs。　W。　has　faults　which　all　my
pastoral　care　has　not　enabled　me　to　eradicate。　　She　is　close　of　her
money；　sirvery　close；　nor　can　I　make　that　charitable　use　of　her
property　which；　as　a　clergyman；　I　ought　to　do；　for　she　has　tied　up
every　shilling　of　it；　and　only　allows　me　half…a…crown　a　week　for
pocket…money。　　In　temper；　too；　she　is　very　violent。　　During　the
first　years　of　our　union；　I　strove　with　her；　yea；　I　chastised　her；
but　her　perseverance；　I　must　confess；　got　the　better　of　me。　　I　make
no　more　remonstrances；　but　am　as　a　lamb　in　her　hands；　and　she　leads
me　whithersoever　she　pleases。〃

Mr。　Wapshot　concluded　his　tale　by　borrowing　half…a…crown　from　me
（it　was　at　the　Somerset　Coffee…house　in　the　Strand；　where　he　came；
in　the　year　1832；　to　wait　upon　me）；　and　I　saw　him　go　from　thence
into　the　gin…shop　opposite；　and　come　out　of　the　gin…shop　half…an…
hour　afterwards；　reeling　across　the　streets；　and　perfectly
intoxicated。

He　died　next　year：　　when　his　widow；　who　called　herself　Mrs。
Hoggarty…Grimes…Wapshot；　of　Castle　Hoggarty；　said　that　over　the
grave　of　her　saint　all　earthly　resentments　were　forgotten；　and
proposed　to　come　and　live　with　us；　paying　us；　of　course；　a　handsome
remuneration。　　But　this　offer　my　wife　and　I　respectfully　declined；
and　once　more　she　altered　her　will；　which　once　more　she　had　made　in
our　favour；　called　us　ungrateful　wretches　and　pampered　menials；　and
left　all　her　property　to　the　Irish　Hoggarties。　　But　seeing　my　wife
one　day　in　a　carriage　with　Lady　Tiptoff；　and　hearing　that　we　had
been　at　the　great　ball　at　Tiptoff　Castle；　and　that　I　had　grown　to
be　a　rich　man；　she　changed　her　mind　again；　sent　for　me　on　her
death…bed；　and　left　me　the　farms　of　Slopperton　and　Squashtail；　with
all　her　savings　for　fifteen　years。　　Peace　be　to　her　soul！　for
certainly　she　left　me　a　very　pretty　property。

Though　I　am　no　literary　man　myself；　my　cousin　Michael　（who
generally；　when　he　is　short　of　coin；　comes　down　and　passes　a　few
months　with　us）　says　that　my　Memoirs　may　be　of　some　use　to　the
public　（meaning；　I　suspect；　to　himself）；　and　if　so；　I　am　glad　to
serve　him　and　them；　and　hereby　take　farewell：　　bidding　all　gents
who　peruse　this；　to　be　cautious　of　their　money；　if　they　have　it；　to
be　still　more　cautious　of　their　friends'　money；　to　remember　that
great　profits　imply　great　risks；　and　that　the　great　shrewd
capitalists　of　this　country　would　not　be　content　with　four　per
cent。　for　their　money；　if　they　could　securely　get　more：　　above　all；
I　entreat　them　never　to　embark　in　any　speculation；　of　which　the
conduct　is　not　perfectly　clear　to　them；　and　of　which　the　agents　are
not　perfectly　open　and　loyal。





End