samuel titmarsh and the great hoggarty diamond-第6部分
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glowering at his wife。 〃What a pity that this gentlemanI forget
his namethat your friend； Lady Jane； is engaged！ I am sure you
would have had such gratification in meeting your relation in
Whitehall。〃
Lady Drum was over…fond of finding out relations to be sure； but
this speech of Right Honourable Ned's was rather too much。 〃Now；
Sam；〃 says I； 〃be a man and show your spirit！〃 So I spoke up at
once； and said； 〃Why； ladies； as the right honourable gent is so
VERY pressing； I'll give up my engagement； and shall have sincere
pleasure in cutting mutton with him。 What's your hour； sir？〃
He didn't condescend to answer； and for me I did not care； for； you
see； I did not intend to dine with the man； but only to give him a
lesson of manners。 For though I am but a poor fellow； and hear
people cry out how vulgar it is to eat peas with a knife； or ask
three times for cheese； and such like points of ceremony； there's
something； I think； much more vulgar than all this； and that is；
insolence to one's inferiors。 I hate the chap that uses it； as I
scorn him of humble rank that affects to be of the fashion； and so
I determined to let Mr。 Preston know a piece of my mind。
When the carriage drove up to his house； I handed out the ladies as
politely as possible； and walked into the hall； and then； taking
hold of Mr。 Preston's button at the door； I said； before the ladies
and the two big servantsupon my word I did〃Sir；〃 says I； 〃this
kind old lady asked me into her carriage； and I rode in it to
please her； not myself。 When you came up and asked who the devil I
was； I thought you might have put the question in a more polite
manner； but it wasn't my business to speak。 When； by way of a
joke； you invited me to dinner； I thought I would answer in a joke
too； and here I am。 But don't be frightened； I'm not a…going to
dine with you： only if you play the same joke upon other parties
on some of the chaps in our office； for exampleI recommend you to
have a care； or they will TAKE YOU AT YOUR WORD。〃
〃Is that all； sir？〃 says Mr。 Preston； still in a rage。 〃If you
have done； will you leave this house； or shall my servants turn you
out？ Turn out this fellow！ do you hear me？〃 and he broke away from
me； and flung into his study in a rage。
〃He's an ojous horrid monsther of a man； that husband of yours！〃
said Lady Drum； seizing hold of her elder grand…daughter's arm；
〃and I hate him； and so come away； for the dinner'll be getting
cold：〃 and she was for hurrying away Lady Jane without more ado。
But that kind lady； coming forward； looking very pale and
trembling； said； 〃Mr。 Titmarsh； I do hope you'll not be angrythat
is； that you'll forget what has happened； for； believe me； it has
given me very great〃
Very great what； I never could say； for here the poor thing's eyes
filled with tears； and Lady Drum crying out 〃Tut； tut！ none of this
nonsense；〃 pulled her away by the sleeve； and went upstairs。 But
little Lady Fanny walked boldly up to me； and held me out her
little hand； and gave mine such a squeeze and said； 〃Good…bye； my
dear Mr。 Titmarsh；〃 so very kindly； that I'm blest if I did not
blush up to the ears； and all the blood in my body began to tingle。
So； when she was gone； I clapped my hat on my head； and walked out
of the hall…door； feeling as proud as a peacock and as brave as a
lion； and all I wished for was that one of those saucy grinning
footmen should say or do something to me that was the least
uncivil； so that I might have the pleasure of knocking him down；
with my best compliments to his master。 But neither of them did me
any such favour！ and I went away and dined at home off boiled
mutton and turnips with Gus Hoskins quite peacefully。
I did not think it was proper to tell Gus （who； between ourselves；
is rather curious； and inclined to tittle…tattle） all the
particulars of the family quarrel of which I had been the cause and
witness； and so just said that the old lady（〃They were the Drum
arms；〃 says Gus； 〃for I went and looked them out that minute in the
'Peerage'〃）that the old lady turned out to be a cousin of mine；
and that she had taken me to drive in the Park。 Next day we went
to the office as usual； when you may be sure that Hoskins told
everything of what had happened； and a great deal more； and
somehow； though I did not pretend to care sixpence about the
matter； I must confess that I WAS rather pleased that the gents in
our office should hear of a part of my adventure。
But fancy my surprise； on coming home in the evening； to find Mrs。
Stokes the landlady； Miss Selina Stokes her daughter； and Master
Bob Stokes her son （an idle young vagabond that was always playing
marbles on St。 Bride's steps and in Salisbury Square）；when I
found them all bustling and tumbling up the steps before me to our
rooms on the second floor； and there； on the table； between our two
flutes on one side； my album； Gus's 〃Don Juan〃 and 〃Peerage〃 on the
other； I saw as follows：…
1。 A basket of great red peaches； looking like the cheeks of my
dear Mary Smith。
2。 A ditto of large； fat； luscious； heavy…looking grapes。
3。 An enormous piece of raw mutton； as I thought it was； but Mrs。
Stokes said it was the primest haunch of venison that ever she saw。
And three cardsviz。
DOWAGER COUNTESS OF DRUM。
LADY FANNY RAKES。
MR。 PRESTON。
LADY JANE PRESTON。
EARL OF TIPTOFF。
〃Sich a carriage！〃 says Mrs。 Stokes （for that was the way the poor
thing spoke）。 〃Sich a carriageall over coronites！ sich liveries…
…two great footmen； with red whiskers and yellow…plush small…
clothes； and inside； a very old lady in a white poke bonnet； and a
young one with a great Leghorn hat and blue ribands； and a great
tall pale gentleman with a tuft on his chin。
〃'Pray； madam； does Mr。 Titmarsh live here？' says the young lady；
with her clear voice。
〃'Yes； my Lady；' says I； 'but he's at the officethe West
Diddlesex Fire and Life Office； Cornhill。'
〃'Charles； get out the things；' says the gentleman； quite solemn。
〃'Yes； my Lord；' says Charles； and brings me out the haunch in a
newspaper； and on the chany dish as you see it； and the two baskets
of fruit besides。
〃'Have the kindness； madam；' says my Lord； 'to take these things to
Mr。 Titmarsh's rooms； with our； with Lady Jane Preston's
compliments； and request his acceptance of them；' and then he
pulled out the cards on your table； and this letter； sealed with
his Lordship's own crown。〃
And herewith Mrs。 Stokes gave me a letter； which my wife keeps to
this day； by the way； and which runs thus：…
〃The Earl of Tiptoff has been commissioned by Lady Jane Preston to
express her sincere regret and disappointment that she was not able
yesterday to enjoy the pleasure of Mr。 Titmarsh's company。 Lady
Jane is about to leave town immediately： she will therefore be
unable to receive her friends in Whitehall Place this season。 But
Lord Tiptoff trusts that Mr。 Titmarsh will have the kindness to
accept some of the produce of her Ladyship's garden and park； with
which； perhaps； he will entertain some of those friends in whose
favour he knows so well how to speak。〃
Along with this was a little note； containing the words 〃Lady Drum
at home。 Friday evening； June 17。〃 And all this came to me
because my aunt Hoggarty had given me a diamond…pin！
I did not send back the venison： as why should I？ Gus was for
sending it at once to Brough； our director； and the grapes and
peaches to my aunt in Somersetshire。
〃But no；〃 says I； 〃we'll ask Bob Swinney and half…a…dozen more of
our gents； and we'll have a merry night of it on Saturday。〃 And a
merry night we had too； and as we had no wine in the cupboard； we
had plenty of ale； and gin…punch afterwards。 And Gus sat at the
foot of the table； and I at the head； and we sang songs； both comic
and sentimental； and drank toasts； and I made a speech that there
is no possibility of mentioning here； because； entre nous； I had
quite forgotten in the morning everything that had taken place
after a certain period on the night before。
CHAPTER IV
HOW THE HAPPY DIAMOND…WEARER DINES AT PENTONVILLE
I did not go to the office till half…an…hour after opening time on
Monday。 If the truth must be told； I was not sorry to let Hoskins
have the start of me； and tell the chaps what had taken place；for
we all have our little vanities； and I liked to be thought well of
by my companions。
When I came in； I saw my business had been done； by the way in
which the chaps looked at me； especially Abednego； who offered me a
pinch out of his gold snuff…box the very first thing。 Roundhand
shook me； too； warmly by the hand； when he came round to look over
my day…book； said I wrote a capital hand （and indeed I believe I
do； without any sort of flattery）； and invited me for dinner next
Sunday； in Myddelton Square。 〃You won't have；〃 said he； 〃quite
such a grand turn…out as with YOUR FRIENDS AT THE WEST END〃he
said this with a particular accent〃but Amelia and I are always
happy to see a friend in our plain way；pale sherry； old port； and
cut and come again。 Hey？〃
I said I would come and bring Hoskins too。
He answered that I was very polite； and that he should be very
happy to see Hoskins； and we went accordingly at the appointed day
and hour； but though Gus was eleventh clerk and I twelfth； I
remarked that at dinner I was helped first and best。 I had twice
as many force…meat balls as Hoskins in my mock…turtle； and pretty
nearly all the oysters out of the sauce…boat。 Once； Roundhand was
going to help Gus before me； when his wife； who was seated at the
head of the table； looking very big and fierce in red crape and a
turban； shouted out； 〃ANTONY！〃 and poor R。 dropped the plate； and
blushed as red as anything。 How Mrs。 R。 did talk to me about the
West End to be sure！ She had a 〃Peerage；〃 as you may be certain；
and knew everything about the Drum family in a manner that quite
astonished me。 She asked me how much Lord Drum had a year； whether
I thought he had twenty； thirty； forty； or a hundred and fifty
thousand a year； whether I was invited to Drum Castle； what the
young ladies wore； and if they had those odious gigot sleeves which
were j
