samuel titmarsh and the great hoggarty diamond-第8部分

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venison　business；　and　my　relationship　with　Lady　Drum　and　the　Right
Honourable　Edmund　Preston：　　only　Abednego；　who　told　him；　said　I　was
her　Ladyship's　first　cousin；　and　this　made　Brough　think　more　of　me；
and　no　worse　than　before。

Mr。　B。　was；　as　everybody　knows；　Member　of　Parliament　for
Rottenburgh；　and　being　considered　one　of　the　richest　men　in　the
City　of　London；　used　to　receive　all　the　great　people　of　the　land　at
his　villa　at　Fulham；　and　we　often　read　in　the　papers　of　the　rare
doings　going　on　there。

Well；　the　pin　certainly　worked　wonders：　　for　not　content　merely
with　making　me　a　present　of　a　ride　in　a　countess's　carriage；　of　a
haunch　of　venison　and　two　baskets　of　fruit；　and　the　dinner　at
Roundhand's　above　described；　my　diamond　had　other　honours　in　store
for　me；　and　procured　me　the　honour　of　an　invitation　to　the　house　of
our　director；　Mr。　Brough。

Once　a　year；　in　June；　that　honourable　gent　gave　a　grand　ball　at　his
house　at　Fulham；　and　by　the　accounts　of　the　entertainment　brought
back　by　one　or　two　of　our　chaps　who　had　been　invited；　it　was　one　of
the　most　magnificent　things　to　be　seen　about　London。　　You　saw
Members　of　Parliament　there　as　thick　as　peas　in　July；　lords　and
ladies　without　end。　　There　was　everything　and　everybody　of　the　tip…
top　sort；　and　I　have　heard　that　Mr。　Gunter；　of　Berkeley　Square；
supplied　the　ices；　supper；　and　footmen；though　of　the　latter
Brough　kept　a　plenty；　but　not　enough　to　serve　the　host　of　people
who　came　to　him。　　The　party；　it　must　be　remembered；　was　MRS。
Brough's　party；　not　the　gentleman's；he　being　in　the　Dissenting
way；　would　scarcely　sanction　any　entertainments　of　the　kind：　　but
he　told　his　City　friends　that　his　lady　governed　him　in　everything；
and　it　was　generally　observed　that　most　of　them　would　allow　their
daughters　to　go　to　the　ball　if　asked；　on　account　of　the　immense
number　of　the　nobility　which　our　director　assembled　together：　　Mrs。
Roundhand；　I　know；　for　one；　would　have　given　one　of　her　ears　to　go；
but；　as　I　have　said　before；　nothing　would　induce　Brough　to　ask　her。

Roundhand　himself；　and　Gutch；　nineteenth　clerk；　son　of　the　brother
of　an　East　Indian　director；　were　the　only　two　of　our　gents　invited；
as　we　knew　very　well：　　for　they　had　received　their　invitations　many
weeks　before；　and　bragged　about　them　not　a　little。　　But　two　days
before　the　ball；　and　after　my　diamond…pin　had　had　its　due　effect
upon　the　gents　at　the　office；　Abednego；　who　had　been　in　the
directors'　room；　came　to　my　desk　with　a　great　smirk；　and　said；
〃Tit；　Mr。　B。　says　that　he　expects　you　will　come　down　with　Roundhand
to　the　ball　on　Thursday。〃　　I　thought　Moses　was　joking；at　any
rate；　that　Mr。　B。's　message　was　a　queer　one；　for　people　don't
usually　send　invitations　in　that　abrupt　peremptory　sort　of　way；
but；　sure　enough；　he　presently　came　down　himself　and　confirmed　it；
saying；　as　he　was　going　out　of　the　office；　〃Mr。　Titmarsh；　you　will
come　down　on　Thursday　to　Mrs。　Brough's　party；　where　you　will　see
some　relations　of　yours。〃

〃West　End　again！〃　says　that　Gus　Hoskins；　and　accordingly　down　I
went；　taking　a　place　in　a　cab　which　Roundhand　hired　for　himself；
Gutch；　and　me；　and　for　which　he　very　generously　paid　eight
shillings。

There　is　no　use　to　describe　the　grand　gala；　nor　the　number　of　lamps
in　the　lodge　and　in　the　garden；　nor　the　crowd　of　carriages　that
came　in　at　the　gates；　nor　the　troops　of　curious　people　outside；　nor
the　ices；　fiddlers；　wreaths　of　flowers；　and　cold　supper　within。
The　whole　description　was　beautifully　given　in　a　fashionable　paper；
by　a　reporter　who　observed　the　same　from　the　〃Yellow　Lion〃　over　the
way；　and　told　it　in　his　journal　in　the　most　accurate　manner；
getting　an　account　of　the　dresses　of　the　great　people　from　their
footmen　and　coachmen；　when　they　came　to　the　alehouse　for　their
porter。　　As　for　the　names　of　the　guests；　they；　you　may　be　sure；
found　their　way　to　the　same　newspaper：　　and　a　great　laugh　was　had
at　my　expense；　because　among　the　titles　of　the　great　people
mentioned　my　name　appeared　in　the　list　of　the　〃Honourables。〃　　Next
day；　Brough　advertised　〃a　hundred　and　fifty　guineas　reward　for　an
emerald　necklace　lost　at　the　party　of　John　Brough；　Esq。；　at
Fulham；〃　though　some　of　our　people　said　that　no　such　thing　was　lost
at　all；　and　that　Brough　only　wanted　to　advertise　the　magnificence
of　his　society；　but　this　doubt　was　raised　by　persons　not　invited；
and　envious　no　doubt。

Well；　I　wore　my　diamond；　as　you　may　imagine；　and　rigged　myself　in
my　best　clothes；　viz。　my　blue　coat　and　brass　buttons　before
mentioned；　nankeen　trousers　and　silk　stockings；　a　white　waistcoat；
and　a　pair　of　white　gloves　bought　for　the　occasion。　　But　my　coat
was　of　country　make；　very　high　in　the　waist　and　short　in　the
sleeves；　and　I　suppose　must　have　looked　rather　odd　to　some　of　the
great　people　assembled；　for　they　stared　at　me　a　great　deal；　and　a
whole　crowd　formed　to　see　me　dancewhich　I　did　to　the　best　of　my
power；　performing　all　the　steps　accurately　and　with　great　agility；
as　I　had　been　taught　by　our　dancing…master　in　the　country。

And　with　whom　do　you　think　I　had　the　honour　to　dance？　　With　no　less
a　person　than　Lady　Jane　Preston；　who；　it　appears；　had　not　gone　out
of　town；　and　who　shook　me　most　kindly　by　the　hand　when　she　saw　me；
and　asked　me　to　dance　with　her。　　We　had　my　Lord　Tiptoff　and　Lady
Fanny　Rakes　for　our　vis…a…vis。

You　should　have　seen　how　the　people　crowded　to　look　at　us；　and
admired　my　dancing　too；　for　I　cut　the　very　best　of　capers；　quite
different　to　the　rest　of　the　gents　（my　Lord　among　the　number）；　who
walked　through　the　quadrille　as　if　they　thought　it　a　trouble；　and
stared　at　my　activity　with　all　their　might。　　But　when　I　have　a
dance　I　like　to　enjoy　myself：　　and　Mary　Smith　often　said　I　was　the
very　best　partner　at　our　assemblies。　　While　we　were　dancing；　I　told
Lady　Jane　how　Roundhand；　Gutch；　and　I；　had　come　down　three　in　a
cab；　besides　the　driver；　and　my　account　of　our　adventures　made　her
Ladyship　laugh；　I　warrant　you。　　Lucky　it　was　for　me　that　I　didn't
go　back　in　the　same　vehicle；　for　the　driver　went　and　intoxicated
himself　at　the　〃Yellow　Lion；〃　threw　out　Gutch　and　our　head　clerk　as
he　was　driving　them　back；　and　actually　fought　Gutch　afterwards　and
blacked　his　eye；　because　he　said　that　Gutch's　red　waistcoat
frightened　the　horse。

Lady　Jane；　however；　spared　me　such　an　uncomfortable　ride　home：　　for
she　said　she　had　a　fourth　place　in　her　carriage；　and　asked　me　if　I
would　accept　it；　and　positively；　at　two　o'clock　in　the　morning；
there　was　I；　after　setting　the　ladies　and　my　Lord　down；　driven　to
Salisbury　Square　in　a　great　thundering　carriage；　with　flaming　lamps
and　two　tall　footmen；　who　nearly　knocked　the　door　and　the　whole
little　street　down　with　the　noise　they　made　at　the　rapper。　　You
should　have　seen　Gus's　head　peeping　out　of　window　in　his　white
nightcap！　　He　kept　me　up　the　whole　night　telling　him　about　the
ball；　and　the　great　people　I　had　seen　there；　and　next　day　he　told
at　the　office　my　stories；　with　his　own　usual　embroideries　upon
them。

〃Mr。　Titmarsh；〃　said　Lady　Fanny；　laughing　to　me；　〃who　is　that　great
fat　curious　man；　the　master　of　the　house？　　Do　you　know　he　asked　me
if　you　were　not　related　to　us？　and　I　said；　'Oh；　yes；　you　were。'〃

〃Fanny！〃　says　Lady　Jane。

〃Well；〃　answered　the　other；　〃did　not　Grandmamma　say　Mr。　Titmarsh
was　her　cousin？〃

〃But　you　know　that　Grandmamma's　memory　is　not　very　good。〃

〃Indeed；　you're　wrong；　Lady　Jane；〃　says　my　Lord；　〃I　think　it's
prodigious。〃

〃Yes；　but　not　verynot　very　accurate。〃

〃No；　my　Lady；〃　says　I；　〃for　her　Ladyship；　the　Countess　of　Drum；
said；　if　you　remember；　that　my　friend　Gus　Hoskins〃

〃Whose　cause　you　supported　so　bravely；〃　cries　Lady　Fanny。

〃That　my　friend　Gus　is　her　Ladyship's　cousin　too；　which　cannot
be；　for　I　know　all　his　family：　　they　live　in　Skinner　Street　and　St。
Mary　Axe；　and　are　notnot　quite　so　RESPECTABLE　as　MY　relatives。〃

At　this　they　all　began　to　laugh；　and　my　Lord　said；　rather　haughtily
…

〃Depend　upon　it；　Mr。　Titmarsh；　that　Lady　Drum　is　no　more　your
cousin　than　she　is　the　cousin　of　your　friend　Mr。　Hoskinson。〃

〃Hoskins；　my　Lordand　so　I　told　Gus；　but　you　see　he　is　very　fond
of　me；　and　WILL　have　it　that　I　am　related　to　Lady　D。：　　and　say　what
I　will　to　the　contrary；　tells　the　story　everywhere。　　Though　to　be
sure；〃　added　I　with　a　laugh；　〃it　has　gained　me　no　small　good　in　my
time。〃　　So　I　described　to　the　party　our　dinner　at　Mrs。　Roundhand's；
which　all　came　from　my　diamond…pin；　and　my　reputation　as　a
connection　of　the　aristocracy。　　Then　I　thanked　Lady　Jane　handsomely
for　her　magnificent　present　of　fruit　and　venison；　and　told　her　that
it　had　entertained　a　great　number　of　kind　friends　of　mine；　who　had
drunk　her　Ladyship's　health　with　the　greatest　gratitude。

〃A　HAUNCH　OF　VENISON！〃　cried　Lady　Jane；　quite　astonished；　〃indeed；
Mr。　Titmarsh；　I　am　quite　at　a　loss　to　understand　you。〃

As　we　passed　a　gas…lamp；　I　saw　Lady　Fanny　laughing　as　usual；　and
turning　her　great　arch　sparkling　black　eyes　at　Lord　Tiptoff。

〃Why；　Lady　Jane；〃　said　he；　〃if　the　truth　must　out；　the　great　haunch
of　venison　trick　was　one　of　this　young　lady's　performing。　　You　must
know　that　I　had　received　the　above…named　haunch　from　Lord
Guttlebury's　park：　　and　knowing　that　Preston　is　not　averse　to
Guttlebury　venison；　was　telling　Lady　Drum　（in　whose　carriage　I　had
a　seat　that　day；　as　Mr。　Titmarsh　was　not　in　the　way）；　that　I
intended　the　haunch　for　your　husband's　table。　　Whereupon　my　Lady
Fanny；　clapping　together　her　little　hands；　declared　and　vowed　that
the　venison　should　not　go　to　Preston；　but　should　be　sent　to　a
gentleman　about　whose　adventures　on　the　day　previous　we　had　just
been　talkingto　Mr。　Titmarsh；　in　fact；　whom　Preston；　as　Fanny
vowed；　had　used　most　cruelly；　and　to　whom；　she　said；　a　reparation
was　due。　　So　my　Lady　Fanny　insists　upon　our　driving　straight　to　my
rooms　in　the　Albany　（you　know　I　am　only　to　stay　in　my　bachelor's
quarters　a　month　longer）〃

〃Nonsense！〃　says　Lady　Fanny。

〃Insists　upon　driving　straight　to　my　chambers　in　the　Albany；
extracting　thence　the　above…named　haunch〃

〃Grandmamma　was　very　sorry　to　part　with　it；〃　cries　Lady　Fanny。

〃And　then　she　orders　us　to　proceed　to　Mr。　Titmarsh's　house　in　the
City；　where　the　venison