the egoist-第17部分

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if　you　like；　since　men　have　decreed　it；　or　matrons　have　so　read
the　decree；　but　here　and　there　a　younger　woman；　haply　an
uncorrected　insurgent　of　the　sex　matured　here　and　there；　feels
that　her　lot　was　cast　with　her　head　in　a　narrower　pit　than　her
limbs。

Clara　speculated　as　to　whether　Miss　Dale　might　be　perchance　a
person　of　a　certain　liberty　of　mind。　She　asked　for　some　little；
only　some　little；　free　play　of　mind　in　a　house　that　seemed　to
wear；　as　it　were；　a　cap　of　iron。　Sir　Willoughby　not　merely　ruled；
he　throned；　he　inspired：　and　how？　She　had　noticed　an　irascible
sensitiveness　in　him　alert　against　a　shadow　of　disagreement；　and
as　he　was　kind　when　perfectly　appeased；　the　sop　was　offered　by　him
for　submission。　She　noticed　that　even　Mr。　Whitford　forbore　to
alarm　the　sentiment　of　authority　in　his　cousin。　If　he　did　not
breathe　Sir　Willoughby；　like　the　ladies　Eleanor　and　Isabel；　he
would　either　acquiesce　in　a　syllable　or　he　silent。　He　never
strongly　dissented。　The　habit　of　the　house；　with　its　iron　cap；　was
on　him；　as　it　was　on　the　servants。　and　would　be；　oh；　shudders　of
the　shipwrecked　that　see　their　end　in　drowning！　on　the　wife。

〃When　do　I　meet　Miss　Dale？〃　she　inquired。

〃This　very　evening；　at　dinner；〃　replied　Sir　Willoughby。

Then；　thought　she；　there　is　that　to　look　forward　to。

She　indulged　her　morbid　fit；　and　shut　up　her　senses　that　she
might　live　in　the　anticipation　of　meeting　Miss　Dale；　and；　long
before　the　approach　of　the　hour；　her　hope　of　encountering　any
other　than　another　dull　adherent　of　Sir　Willoughby　had　fled。　So
she　was　languid　for　two　of　the　three　minutes　when　she　sat　alone
with　Laetitia　in　the　drawing…room　before　the　rest　had　assembled。

〃It　is　Miss　Middleton？〃　Laetitia　said；　advancing　to　her。　〃My
jealousy　tells　me；　for　you　have　won　my　boy　Crossjay's　heart；　and
done　more　to　bring　him　to　obedience　in　a　few　minutes　than　we　have
been　able　to　do　in　months。〃

〃His　wild　flowers　were　so　welcome　to　me；〃　said　Clara。

〃He　was　very　modest　over　them。　And　I　mention　it　because　boys　of
his　age　usually　thrust　their　gifts　in　our　faces　fresh　as　they
pluck　them；　and　you　were　to　be　treated　quite　differently。〃

〃We　saw　his　good　fairy's　hand。〃

〃She　resigns　her　office；　but　I　pray　you　not　to　love　him　too　well　in
return；　for　he　ought　to　be　away　reading　with　one　of　those　men　who
get　boys　through　their　examinations。　He　is；　we　all　think；　a　born
sailor；　and　his　place　is　in　the　navy。〃

〃But；　Miss　Dale；　I　love　him　so　well　that　I　shall　consult　his
interests　and　not　my　own　selfishness。　And；　if　I　have　influence；　he
will　not　be　a　week　with　you　longer。　It　should　have　been　spoke　of
to…day；　I　must　have　been　in　some　dream；　I　thought　of　it；　I　know。　I
will　not　forget　to　do　what　may　be　in　my　power。〃

Clara's　heart　sank　at　the　renewed　engagement　and　plighting　of
herself　involved　in　her　asking　a　favour；　urging　any　sort　of
petition。　The　cause　was　good。　Besides；　she　was　plighted　already。

〃Sir　Willoughby　is　really　fond　of　the　boy；〃　she　said。

〃He　is　fond　of　exciting　fondness　in　the　boy；〃　said　Miss　Dale。　〃He
has　not　dealt　much　with　children。　I　am　sure　he　likes　Crossjay；　he
could　not　otherwise　be　so　forbearing；　it　is　wonderful　what　he
endures　and　laughs　at。〃

Sir　Willoughby　entered。　The　presence　of　Miss　Dale　illuminated　him
as　the　burning　taper　lights　up　consecrated　plate。　Deeply
respecting　her　for　her　constancy；　esteeming　her　for　a　model　of
taste；　he　was　never　in　her　society　without　that　happy
consciousness　of　shining　which　calls　forth　the　treasures　of　the
man；　and　these　it　is　no　exaggeration　to　term　unbounded；　when　all
that　comes　from　him　is　taken　for　gold。

The　effect　of　the　evening　on　Clara　was　to　render　her　distrustful　
of　her　later　antagonism。　She　had　unknowingly　passed　into　the
spirit　of　Miss　Dale；　Sir　Willoughby　aiding；　for　she　could
sympathize　with　the　view　of　his　constant　admirer　on　seeing　him　so
cordially　and　smoothly　gay；　as　one　may　say；　domestically　witty；
the　most　agreeable　form　of　wit。　Mrs　Mountstuart　Jenkinson　discerned
that　he　had　a　leg　of　physical　perfection；　Miss　Dale　distinguished
it　in　him　in　the　vital　essence；　and　before　either　of　these　ladies
he　was　not　simply　a　radiant；　he　was　a　productive　creature；　so　true
it　is　that　praise　is　our　fructifying　sun。　He　had　even　a　touch　of
the　romantic　air　which　Clara　remembered　as　her　first　impression　of
the　favourite　of　the　county；　and　strange　she　found　it　to　observe
this　resuscitated　idea　confronting　her　experience。　What　if　she　had
been　captious；　inconsiderate？　Oh；　blissful　revival　of　the　sense　of
peace！　The　happiness　of　pain　departing　was　all　that　she　looked
for；　and　her　conception　of　liberty　was　to　learn　to　love　her
chains；　provided　that　he　would　spare　her　the　caress。　In　this　mood
she　sternly　condemned　Constantia。　〃We　must　try　to　do　good；　we　must
not　be　thinking　of　ourselves；　we　must　make　the　best　of　our　path　in
life。〃　She　revolved　these　infantile　precepts　with　humble
earnestness；　and　not　to　be　tardy　in　her　striving　to　do　good；　with
a　remote　but　pleasurable　glimpse　of　Mr。　Whitford　hearing　of　it；
she　took　the　opportunity　to　speak　to　Sir　Willoughby　on　the　subject
of　young　Crossjay；　at　a　moment　when；　alighting　from　horseback；　he
had　shown　himself　to　advantage　among　a　gallant　cantering　company。
He　showed　to　great　advantage　on　horseback　among　men；　being
invariably　the　best　mounted；　and　he　had　a　cavalierly　style；
possibly　cultivated；　but　effective。　On　foot　his　raised　head　and
half…dropped　eyelids　too　palpably　assumed　superiority。
〃Willoughby；　I　want　to　speak；〃　she　said；　and　shrank　as　she　spoke；
lest　he　should　immediately　grant　everything　in　the　mood　of
courtship；　and　invade　her　respite；　〃I　want　to　speak　of　that　dear
boy　Crossjay。　You　are　fond　of　him。　He　is　rather　an　idle　boy　here；
and　wasting　time　。　。　。〃

〃Now　you　are　here；　and　when　you　are　here　for　good；　my　love　for
good　。　。　。〃　he　fluttered　away　in　loverliness；　forgetful　of
Crossjay；　whom　he　presently　took　up。　〃The　boy　recognizes　his　most
sovereign　lady；　and　will　do　your　bidding；　though　you　should　order
him　to　learn　his　lessons！　Who　would　not　obey？　Your　beauty　alone
commands。　But　what　is　there　beyond？a　grace；　a　hue　divine；　that
sets　you　not　so　much　above　as　apart；　severed　from　the　world。〃

Clara　produced　an　active　smile　in　duty；　and　pursued：　〃If　Crossjay
were　sent　at　once　to　some　house　where　men　prepare　boys　to　pass　for
the　navy；　he　would　have　his　chance；　and　the　navy　is　distinctly　his
profession。　His　father　is　a　brave　man；　and　he　inherits　bravery；
and　he　has　a　passion　for　a　sailor's　life；　only　he　must　be　able　to
pass　his　examination；　and　he　has　not　much　time。〃

Sir　Willoughby　gave　a　slight　laugh　in　sad　amusement。

〃My　dear　Clara；　you　adore　the　world；　and　I　suppose　you　have　to
learn　that　there　is　not　a　question　in　this　wrangling　world　about
which　we　have　not　disputes　and　contests　ad　nauseam。　I　have　my
notions　concerning　Crossjay；　Vernon　has　his。　I　should　wish　to
make　a　gentleman　of　him。　Vernon　marks　him　for　a　sailor。　But　Vernon
is　the　lad's　protector；　I　am　not。　Vernon　took　him　from　his　father
to　instruct　him；　and　he　has　a　right　to　say　what　shall　be　done　with
him。　I　do　not　interfere。　Only　I　can't　prevent　the　lad　from　liking
me。　Old　Vernon　seems　to　feel　it。　I　assure　you　I　hold　entirely
aloof。　If　I　am　asked；　in　spite　of　my　disapproval　of　Vernon's　plans
for　the　boy；　to　subscribe　to　his　departure；　I　can　but　shrug；
because；　as　you　see；　I　have　never　opposed。　Old　Vernon　pays　for
him；　he　is　the　master；　he　decides；　and　if　Crossjay　is　blown　from
the　masthead　in　a　gale；　the　blame　does　not　fall　on　me。　These；　my
dear；　are　matters　of　reason。〃

〃I　would　not　venture　to　intrude　on　them；〃　said　Clara；　〃if　I　had
not　suspected　that　money　。。。　

〃Yes；〃　cried　Willoughby；　〃and　it　is　a　part。　And　let　old　Vernon　
surrender　the　boy　to　me；　I　will　immediately　relieve　him　of　the
burden　on　his　purse。　Can　I　do　that；　my　dear；　for　the　furtherance
of　a　scheme　I　condemn？　The　point　is　thus：　latterly　I　have　invited
Captain　Patterne　to　visit　me：　just　previous　to　his　departure　for
the　African　Coast；　where　Government　despatches　Marines　when　there
is　no　other　way　of　killing　them；　I　sent　him　a　special　invitation。
He　thanked　me　and　curtly　declined。　The　man；　I　may　almost　say；　is
my　pensioner。　Well；　he　calls　himself　a　Patterne；　he　is
undoubtedly　a　man　of　courage；　he　has　elements　of　our　blood；　and
the　name。　I　think　I　am　to　be　approved　for　desiring　to　make　a
better　gentleman　of　the　son　than　I　behold　in　the　father：　and
seeing　that　life　from　an　early　age　on　board　ship　has　anything　but
made　a　gentleman　of　the　father；　I　hold　that　I　am　right　in　shaping
another　course　for　the　son。〃

〃Naval　officers　。　。　。〃　Clara　suggested。

〃Some；〃　said　Willoughby。　〃But　they　must　be　men　of　birth；　coming
out　of　homes　of　good　breeding。　Strip　them　of　the　halo　of　the　title
of　naval　officers；　and　I　fear　you　would　not　often　say　gentlemen
when　they　step　into　a　drawing…room。　I　went　so　far　as　to　fancy　I
had　some　claim　to　make　young　Crossjay　something　different。　It　can
be　done：　the　Patterne　comes　out　in　his　behaviour　to　you；　my　love；
it　can　be　done。　But　if　I　take　him；　I　claim　undisputed　sway　over
him。　I　cannot　make　a　gentleman　of　the　fellow　if　I　am　to　compete
with　this　person　and　that。　In　fine；　he　must　look　up　to　me；　he　must
have　one　model。〃

〃Would　you；　then；　provide　for　him　subsequently？〃

〃According　to　his　behaviour。〃

〃Would　not　that　be　precarious　for　him？〃

〃More　so　than　the　profession　you　appear　inclined　to　choose　for
him？〃

〃But　there　he　would　be　under　clear　regulations。〃

〃With　me　he　would　have　to　respond　to　affection。〃

〃Would　you　secure　to　him　a　settled　income？　For　an　idle　gentleman
is　bad　enough；　a　penniless　gentleman　。　。　。〃

〃He　has　only　to　please　me；　my　dear；　and　he　will　be　launched　and
protected。〃

〃But　if　he　does　not　succeed　in　pleasing　you？〃

〃Is　it　so　difficult？〃

〃Oh！〃　Clara　fretted。

〃You　see；　my　love；　I　answer　you；〃　said　Sir　Willoughby。

He　resumed：　〃But　let　old　Vernon　have　his　trial　with　the　lad。　He
has　his　own　ideas。　Let　him　carry　them　out。　I　shall　watch　the
experiment。〃

Clara　was　for　abandoning　her　task　in　sheer　faintness。

〃Is　not　the　question　one　of　money？〃　she　said；　shyly；　knowing　Mr。
Whitford　to　be　poor。

〃Old　Vernon