the egoist-第8部分

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of　myself。　I　am　bound　up　in　my　good　opinion　of　you；　you　see；　and
you　must　continue　the　same；　or　where　shall　I　be？〃　Thus　he　was　led
to　dwell　upon　friendship；　and　the　charm　of　the　friendship　of　men
and　women；　〃Platonism〃；　as　it　was　called。　〃I　have　laughed　at　it　in
the　world；　but　not　in　the　depth　of　my　heart。　The　world's　platonic
attachments　are　laughable　enough。　You　have　taught　me　that　the
ideal　of　friendship　is　possiblewhen　we　find　two　who　are　capable
of　a　disinterested　esteem。　The　rest　of　life　is　duty；　duty　to
parents；　duty　to　country。　But　friendship　is　the　holiday　of　those
who　can　be　friends。　Wives　are　plentiful；　friends　are　rare。　I　know
how　rare！〃

Laetitia　swallowed　her　thoughts　as　they　sprang　up。　Why　was　he
torturing　her？to　give　himself　a　holiday？　She　could　bear　to　lose
himshe　was　used　to　itand　bear　his　indifference；　but　not　that
he　should　disfigure　himself；　it　made　her　poor。　It　was　as　if　he
required　an　oath　of　her　when　he　said：　〃Italy！　But　I　shall　never
see　a　day　in　Italy　to　compare　with　the　day　of　my　return　to
England；　or　know　a　pleasure　so　exquisite　as　your　welcome　of　me。
Will　you　be　true　to　that？　May　I　look　forward　to　just　another　such
meeting？〃

He　pressed　her　for　an　answer。　She　gave　the　best　she　could。　He　was
dissatisfied；　and　to　her　hearing　it　was　hardly　in　the　tone　of
manliness　that　he　entreated　her　to　reassure　him；　he　womanized　his
language。　She　had　to　say：　〃I　am　afraid　I　can　not　undertake　to　make
it　an　appointment；　Sir　Willoughby；〃　before　he　recovered　his
alertness；　which　he　did；　for　he　was　anything　but　obtuse；　with　the
reply；　〃You　would　keep　it　if　you　promised；　and　freeze　at　your　post。
So；　as　accidents　happen；　we　must　leave　it　to　fate。　The　will's　the
thing。　You　know　my　detestation　of　changes。　At　least　I　have　you　for
my　tenant；　and　wherever　I　am；　I　see　your　light　at　the　end　of　my
park。〃

〃Neither　my　father　nor　I　would　willingly　quit　Ivy　Cottage；〃　said
Laetitia。

〃So　far；　then；〃　he　murmured。　〃You　will　give　me　a　long　notice；　and
it　must　be　with　my　consent　if　you　think　of　quitting？〃

〃I　could　almost　engage　to　do　that；〃　she　said。

〃You　love　the　place？〃

〃Yes；　I　am　the　most　contented　of　cottagers。〃

〃I　believe；　Miss　Dale；　it　would　be　well　for　my　happiness　were　I　a
cottager。〃

〃That　is　the　dream　of　the　palace。　But　to　be　one；　and　not　to　wish
to　be　other；　is　quiet　sleep　in　comparison。〃

〃You　paint　a　cottage　in　colours　that　tempt　one　to　run　from　big
houses　and　households。〃

〃You　would　run　back　to　them　faster；　Sir　Willoughby。〃

〃You　may　know　me；〃　said　he；　bowing　and　passing　on　contentedly。　
He　stopped。　〃But　I　am　not　ambitious。〃

〃Perhaps　you　are　too　proud　for　ambition；　Sir　Willoughby。〃

〃You　hit　me　to　the　life！〃

He　passed　on　regretfully。　Clara　Middleton　did　not　study　and　know
him　like　Laetitia　Dale。

Laetitia　was　left　to　think　it　pleased　him　to　play　at　cat　and　mouse。
She　had　not　〃hit　him　to　the　life〃；　or　she　would　have　marvelled　in
acknowledging　how　sincere　he　was。

At　her　next　sitting　by　the　bedside　of　Lady　Patterne　she　received　a
certain　measure　of　insight　that　might　have　helped　her　to　fathom
him；　if　only　she　could　have　kept　her　feelings　down。

The　old　lady　was　affectionately　confidential　in　talking　of　her　one
subject；　her　son。　〃And　here　is　another　dashing　girl；　my　dear；　she
has　money　and　health　and　beauty；　and　so　has　he；　and　it　appears　a
fortunate　union；　I　hope　and　pray　it　may　be；　but　we　begin　to　read
the　world　when　our　eyes　grow　dim；　because　we　read　the　plain　lines；
and　I　ask　myself　whether　money　and　health　and　beauty　on　both　sides
have　not　been　the　mutual　attraction。　We　tried　it　before；　and　that
girl　Durham　was　honest；　whatever　we　may　call　her。　I　should　have
desired　an　appreciative　thoughtful　partner　for　him；　a　woman　of
mind；　with　another　sort　of　wealth　and　beauty。　She　was　honest；　she
ran　away　in　time；　there　was　a　worse　thing　possible　than　that。　And
now　we　have　the　same　chapter；　and　the　same　kind　of　person；　who　may
not　be　quite　as　honest；　and　I　shall　not　see　the　end　of　it。
Promise　me　you　will　always　be　good　to　him；　be　my　son's　friend；　his
Egeria；　he　names　you。　Be　what　you　were　to　him　when　that　girl　broke
his　heart；　and　no　one；　not　even　his　mother；　was　allowed　to　see
that　he　suffered　anything。　Comfort　him　in　his　sensitiveness。
Willoughby　has　the　most　entire　faith　in　you。　Were　that　destroyed
I　shudder！　You　are；　he　says；　and　he　has　often　said；　his　image　of
the　constant　woman。

Laetitia's　hearing　took　in　no　more。　She　repeated　to　herself　for
days：　〃His　image　of　the　constant　woman！〃　Now；　when　he　was　a　second
time　forsaking　her；　his　praise　of　her　constancy　wore　the　painful
ludicrousness　of　the　look　of　a　whimper　on　the　face。


CHAPTER　V

Clara　Middleton

The　great　meeting　of　Sir　Willoughby　Patterne　and　Miss　Middleton
had　taken　place　at　Cherriton　Grange；　the　seat　of　a　county　grandee；
where　this　young　lady　of　eighteen　was　first　seen　rising　above　the
horizon。　She　had　money　and　health　and　beauty；　the　triune　of
perfect　starriness；　which　makes　all　men　astronomers。　He　looked　on
her；　expecting　her　to　look　at　him。　But　as　soon　as　he　looked　he
found　that　he　must　be　in　motion　to　win　a　look　in　return。　He　was
one　of　a　pack；　many　were　ahead　of　him；　the　whole　of　them　were
eager。　He　had　to　debate　within　himself　how　best　to　communicate　to
her　that　he　was　Willoughby　Patterne；　before　her　gloves　were　too
much　soiled　to　flatter　his　niceness；　for　here　and　there；　all
around；　she　was　yielding　her　hand　to　partnersobscurant　males
whose　touch　leaves　a　stain。　Far　too　generally　gracious　was　Her
Starriness　to　please　him。　The　effect　of　it；　nevertheless；　was　to
hurry　him　with　all　his　might　into　the　heat　of　the　chase；　while　yet
he　knew　no　more　of　her　than　that　he　was　competing　for　a　prize；　and
Willoughby　Patterne　was　only　one　of　dozens　to　the　young　lady。

A　deeper　student　of　Science　than　his　rivals；　he　appreciated
Nature's　compliment　in　the　fair　ones　choice　of　you。　We　now
scientifically　know　that　in　this　department　of　the　universal
struggle；　success　is　awarded　to　the　bettermost。　You　spread　a
handsomer　tail　than　your　fellows；　you　dress　a　finer　top…knot；　you
pipe　a　newer　note；　have　a　longer　stride；　she　reviews　you　in
competition；　and　selects　you。　The　superlative　is　magnetic　to　her。
She　may　be　looking　elsewhere；　and　you　will　seethe　superlative
will　simply　have　to　beckon；　away　she　glides。　She　cannot　help
herself；　it　is　her　nature；　and　her　nature　is　the　guarantee　for　the
noblest　races　of　men　to　come　of　her。　In　complimenting　you；　she　is
a　promise　of　superior　offspring。　Science　thusor　it　is　better　to
sayan　acquaintance　with　science　facilitates　the　cultivation　of
aristocracy。　Consequently　a　successful　pursuit　and　a　wresting　of
her　from　a　body　of　competitors；　tells　you　that　you　are　the　best
man。　What　is　more；　it　tells　the　world　so。

Willoughby　aired　his　amiable　superlatives　in　the　eye　of　Miss
Middleton；　he　had　a　leg。　He　was　the　heir　of　successful
competitors。　He　had　a　style；　a　tone；　an　artist　tailor；　an
authority　of　manner；　he　had　in　the　hopeful　ardour　of　the　chase
among　a　multitude　a　freshness　that　gave　him　advantage；　and
together　with　his　undeviating　energy　when　there　was　a　prize　to　be
won　and　possessed；　these　were　scarce　resistible。　He　spared　no
pains；　for　he　was　adust　and　athirst　for　the　winning…post。　He
courted　her　father；　aware　that　men　likewise；　and　parents
pre…eminently；　have　their　preference　for　the　larger　offer；　the
deeper　pocket；　the　broader　lands；　the　respectfuller　consideration。
Men；　after　their　fashion；　as　well　as　women；　distinguish　the
bettermost；　and　aid　him　to　succeed；　as　Dr。　Middleton　certainly　did
in　the　crisis　of　the　memorable　question　proposed　to　his　daughter
within　a　month　of　Willoughby's　reception　at　Upton　Park。　The　young
lady　was　astonished　at　his　whirlwind　wooing　of　her；　and　bent　to　it
like　a　sapling。　She　begged　for　time；　Willoughby　could　barely　wait。
She　unhesitatingly　owned　that　she　liked　no　one　better；　and　he
consented。　A　calm　examination　of　his　position　told　him　that　it　was
unfair　so　long　as　he　stood　engaged；　and　she　did　not。　She　pleaded　a
desire　to　see　a　little　of　the　world　before　she　plighted　herself。
She　alarmed　him；　he　assumed　the　amazing　god　of　love　under　the
subtlest　guise　of　the　divinity。　Willingly　would　he　obey　her
behests；　resignedly　languish；　were　it　not　for　his　mother's　desire
to　see　the　future　lady　of　Patterne　established　there　before　she
died。　Love　shone　cunningly　through　the　mask　of　filial　duty；　but
the　plea　of　urgency　was　reasonable。　Dr。　Middleton　thought　it
reasonable；　supposing　his　daughter　to　have　an　inclination。　She　had
no　disinclination；　though　she　had　a　maidenly　desire　to　see　a
little　of　the　worldgrace　for　one　year；　she　said。　Willoughby
reduced　the　year　to　six　months；　and　granted　that　term；　for　which；
in　gratitude；　she　submitted　to　stand　engaged；　and　that　was　no
light　whispering　of　a　word。　She　was　implored　to　enter　the　state　of
captivity　by　the　pronunciation　of　vowsa　private　but　a　binding
ceremonial。　She　had　health　and　beauty；　and　money　to　gild　these
gifts；　not　that　he　stipulated　for　money　with　his　bride；　but　it
adds　a　lustre　to　dazzle　the　world；　and；　moreover；　the　pack　of
rival　pursuers　hung　close　behind；　yelping　and　raising　their
dolorous　throats　to　the　moon。　Captive　she　must　be。

He　made　her　engagement　no　light　whispering　matter。　It　was　a　solemn
plighting　of　a　troth。　Why　not？　Having　said；　I　am　yours；　she　could
say；　I　am　wholly　yours；　I　am　yours　forever；　I　swear　it；　I　will
never　swerve　from　it；　I　am　your　wife　in　heart；　yours　utterly；　our
engagement　is　written　above。　To　this　she　considerately　appended；
〃as　far　as　I　am　concerned〃；　a　piece　of　somewhat　chilling
generosity；　and　he　forced　her　to　pass　him　through　love's　catechism
in　turn；　and　came　out　with　fervent　answers　that　bound　him　to　her
too　indissolubly　to　let　her　doubt　of　her　being　loved。　And　I　am
loved！　she　exclaimed　to　her　heart's　echoes；　in　simple　faith　and
wonderment。　Hardly　had　she　begun　to　think　of　love　ere　the
apparition　arose　in　her　path。　She　had　not　thought　of　love　with　any
warmth；　and　here　it　was。　She　had　only　dreamed　of　love　as　one　of
the　distant　blessings　of　the　mighty　world；　lying　somewhere　in　the
world's　forests；　across　wild　seas；　veiled；　encompassed　with
beautiful　perils；　a