the love affairs of a bibliomaniac-第2部分

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Nor　am　I　going　to　boast；　for　I　have　made　no　conquests。　　I　am　in　no　sense　a　hero。　　For　many；　very　many　years　I　have　walked　in　a　pleasant　garden；　enjoying　sweet　odors　and　soothing　spectacles；　no　predetermined　itinerary　has　controlled　my　course；　I　have　wandered　whither　I　pleased；　and　very　many　times　I　have　strayed　so　far　into　the　tangle…　wood　and　thickets　as　almost　to　have　lost　my　way。　　And　now　it　is　my　purpose　to　walk　that　pleasant　garden　once　more；　inviting　you　to　bear　me　company　and　to　share　with　me　what　satisfaction　may　accrue　from　an　old　man's　return　to　old…time　places　and　old…time　loves。

As　a　child　I　was　serious…minded。　　I　cared　little　for　those　sports　which　usually　excite　the　ardor　of　youth。　　To　out…of…door　games　and　exercises　I　had　particular　aversion。　　I　was　born　in　a　southern　latitude；　but　at　the　age　of　six　years　I　went　to　live　with　my　grandmother　in　New　Hampshire；　both　my　parents　having　fallen　victims　to　the　cholera。　　This　change　from　the　balmy　temperature　of　the　South　to　the　rigors　of　the　North　was　not　agreeable　to　me；　and　I　have　always　held　it　responsible　for　that　delicate　health　which　has　attended　me　through　life。

My　grandmother　encouraged　my　disinclination　to　play；　she　recognized　in　me　that　certain　seriousness　of　mind　which　I　remember　to　have　heard　her　say　I　inherited　from　her；　and　she　determined　to　make　of　me　what　she　had　failed　to　make　of　any　of　her　　own　sonsa　professional　expounder　of　the　only　true　faith　of　Congregationalism。　　For　this　reason；　and　for　the　further　reason　that　at　the　tender　age　of　seven　years　I　publicly　avowed　my　desire　to　become　a　clergyman；　an　ambition　wholly　sincere　at　that　time　for　these　reasons　was　I　duly　installed　as　prime　favorite　in　my　grandmother's　affections。

As　distinctly　as　though　it　were　but　yesterday　do　I　recall　the　time　when　I　met　my　first　love。　　It　was　in　the　front　room　of　the　old　homestead；　and　the　day　was　a　day　in　spring。　　The　front　room　answered　those　purposes　which　are　served　by　the　so…called　parlor　of　the　present　time。　　I　remember　the　low　ceiling；　the　big　fireplace；　the　long；　broad　mantelpiece；　the　andirons　and　fender　of　brass；　the　tall　clock　with　its　jocund　and　roseate　moon；　the　bellows　that　was　always　wheezy；　the　wax　flowers　under　a　glass　globe　in　the　corner；　an　allegorical　picture　of　Solomon's　temple；　another　picture　of　little　Samuel　at　prayer；　the　high；　stiff…back　chairs；　the　foot…stool　with　its　gayly　embroidered　top；　the　mirror　in　its　gilt…and…black　　frameall　these　things　I　remember　well；　and　with　feelings　of　tender　reverence；　and　yet　that　day　I　now　recall　was　well…nigh　threescore　and　ten　years　ago！

Best　of　all　I　remember　the　case　in　which　my　grandmother　kept　her　books；　a　mahogany　structure；　massive　and　dark；　with　doors　composed　of　diamond…shaped　figures　of　glass　cunningly　set　in　a　framework　of　lead。　　I　was　in　my　seventh　year　then；　and　I　had　learned　to　read　I　know　not　when。　　The　back　and　current　numbers　of　the　‘‘Well…　Spring''　had　fallen　prey　to　my　insatiable　appetite　for　literature。　　With　the　story　of　the　small　boy　who　stole　a　pin；　repented　of　and　confessed　that　crime；　and　then　became　a　good　and　great　man；　I　was　as　familiar　as　if　I　myself　had　invented　that　ingenious　and　instructive　tale；　I　could　lisp　the　moral　numbers　of　Watts　and　the　didactic　hymns　of　Wesley；　and　the　annual　reports　of　the　American　Tract　Society　had　already　revealed　to　me　the　sphere　of　usefulness　in　which　my　grandmother　hoped　I　would　ultimately　figure　with　discretion　and　zeal。　　And　yet　my　heart　was　free；　wholly　untouched　of　that　　gentle　yet　deathless　passion　which　was　to　become　my　delight；　my　inspiration；　and　my　solace；　it　awaited　the　coming　of　its　first　love。

Upon　one　of　those　shelves　yonderit　is　the　third　shelf　from　the　top；　fourth　compartment　to　the　rightis　that　old　copy　of　the　‘‘New　England　Primer；''　a　curious　little；　thin；　square　book　in　faded　blue　board　covers。　　A　good　many　times　I　have　wondered　whether　I　ought　not　to　have　the　precious　little　thing　sumptuously　attired　in　the　finest　style　known　to　my　binder；　indeed；　I　have　often　been　tempted　to　exchange　the　homely　blue　board　covers　for　flexible　levant；　for　it　occurred　to　me　that　in　this　way　I　could　testify　to　my　regard　for　the　treasured　volume。　　I　spoke　of　this　one　day　to　my　friend　Judge　Methuen；　for　I　have　great　respect　for　his　judgment。

‘‘It　would　be　a　desecration；''　said　he；　‘‘to　deprive　the　book　of　its　original　binding。　　What！　　Would　you　tear　off　and　cast　away　the　covers　which　have　felt　the　caressing　pressure　of　the　hands　of　those　whose　memory　you　revere？　　The　most　sacred　of　sentiments　should　forbid　that　act　of　vandalism！''

I　never　think　or　speak　of　the　‘‘New　England　　Primer''　that　I　do　not　recall　Captivity　Waite；　for　it　was　Captivity　who　introduced　me　to　the　Primer　that　day　in　the　springtime　of　sixty…three　years　ago。　　She　was　of　my　age；　a　bright；　pretty　girla　very　pretty；　an　exceptionally　pretty　girl；　as　girls　go。　　We　belonged　to　the　same　Sunday…school　class。　　I　remember　that　upon　this　particular　day　she　brought　me　a　russet　apple。　　It　was　she　who　discovered　the　Primer　in　the　mahogany　case；　and　what　was　not　our　joy　as　we　turned　over　the　tiny　pages　together　and　feasted　our　eyes　upon　the　vivid　pictures　and　perused　the　absorbingly　interesting　text！　　What　wonder　that　together　we　wept　tears　of　sympathy　at　the　harrowing　recital　of　the　fate　of　John　Rogers！

Even　at　this　remote　date　I　cannot　recall　that　experience　with　Captivity；　involving　as　it　did　the　wood…cut　representing　the　unfortunate　Rogers　standing　in　an　impossible　bonfire　and　being　consumed　thereby　in　the　presence　of　his　wife　and　their　numerous　progeny；　strung　along　in　a　pitiful　line　across　the　picture　for　artistic　effecteven　now；　I　say；　I　cannot　contemplate　that　experience　　and　that　wood…cut　without　feeling　lumpy　in　my　throat　and　moist　about　my　eyes。

How　lasting　are　the　impressions　made　upon　the　youthful　mind！　　Through　the　many　busy　years　that　have　elapsed　since　first　I　tasted　the　thrilling　sweets　of　that　miniature　Primer　I　have　not　forgotten　that　‘‘young　Obadias；　David；　Josias；　all　were　pious''；　that　‘‘Zaccheus　he　did　climb　the　Tree　our　Lord　to　see''；　and　that　‘‘Vashti　for　Pride　was　set　aside''；　and　still　with　many　a　sympathetic　shudder　and　tingle　do　I　recall　Captivity's　overpowering　sense　of　horror；　and　mine；　as　we　lingered　long　over　the　portraitures　of　Timothy　flying　from　Sin；　of　Xerxes　laid　out　in　funeral　garb；　and　of　proud　Korah's　troop　partly　submerged。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　My　Book　and　Heart　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Must　never　part。


So　runs　one　of　the　couplets　in　this　little　Primer…book；　and　right　truly　can　I　say　that　from　the　springtime　day　sixty…odd　years　ago；　when　first　my　heart　went　out　in　love　to　this　little　book；　no　change　of　scene　or　of　custom　　no　allurement　of　fashion；　no　demand　of　mature　years；　has　abated　that　love。　　And　herein　is　exemplified　the　advantage　which　the　love　of　books　has　over　the　other　kinds　of　love。　Women　are　by　nature　fickle；　and　so　are　men；　their　friendships　are　liable　to　dissipation　at　the　merest　provocation　or　the　slightest　pretext。

Not　so；　however；　with　books；　for　books　cannot　change。　　A　thousand　years　hence　they　are　what　you　find　them　to…day；　speaking　the　same　words；　holding　forth　the　same　cheer；　the　same　promise；　the　same　comfort；　always　constant；　laughing　with　those　who　laugh　and　weeping　with　those　who　weep。

Captivity　Waite　was　an　exception　to　the　rule　governing　her　sex。　　In　all　candor　I　must　say　that　she　approached　closely　to　a　realization　of　the　ideals　of　a　booka　sixteenmo；　if　you　please；　fair　to　look　upon；　of　clear；　clean　type；　well　ordered　and　well　edited；　amply　margined；　neatly　bound；　a　human　look　whose　text；　as　represented　by　her　disposition　and　her　mind；　corresponded　felicitously　with　the　comeliness　of　her　exterior。　　This　child　was　the　great…great…granddaughter　of　Benjamin　　Waite；　whose　family　was　carried　off　by　Indians　in　1677。　　Benjamin　followed　the　party　to　Canada；　and　after　many　months　of　search　found　and　ransomed　the　captives。

The　historian　has　properly　said　that　the　names　of　Benjamin　Waite　and　his　companion　in　their　perilous　journey　through　the　wilderness　to　Canada　should　‘‘be　memorable　in　all　the　sad　or　happy　homes　of　this　Connecticut　valley　forever。''　　The　child　who　was　my　friend　in　youth；　and　to　whom　I　may　allude　occasionally　hereafter　in　my　narrative；　bore　the　name　of　one　of　the　survivors　of　this　Indian　outrage；　a　name　to　be　revered　as　a　remembrancer　of　sacrifice　and　heroism。





　II

THE　BIRTH　OF　A　NEW　PASSION

When　I　was　thirteen　years　old　I　went　to　visit　my　Uncle　Cephas。　　My　grandmother　would　not　have　parted　with　me　even　for　that　fortnight　had　she　not　actually　been　compelled　to。　　It　happened　that　she　was　called　to　a　meeting　of　the　American　Tract　Society；　and　it　was　her　intention　to　pay　a　visit　to　her　cousin；　Royall　Eastman；　after　she　had　discharged　the　first　and　imperative　duty　she　owed　the　society。　　Mrs。　Deacon　Ranney　was　to　have　taken　me　and　provided　for　my　temporal　and　spiritual　wants　during　grandmother's　absence；　but　at　the　last　moment　the　deacon　came　down　with　one　of　his　spells　of　quinsy；　and　no　other　alternative　remained　but　to　pack　me　off　to　Nashua；　where　my　Uncle　Cephas　lived。

This　involved　considerable　expense；　for　　the　stage　fare　was　three　shillings　each　way：　it　came　particularly　hard　on　grandmother。　　inasmuch　as　she　had　just　paid　her　road　tax　and　had　not　yet　received　her　semi…annual　dividends　on　her　Fitchburg　Railway　stock。　　Indifferent；　however；　to　every　sense　of　extravagance　and　to　all　other　considerations　except　those　of　personal　pride；　I　rode　away　atop　of　the　stage…coach；　full　of　exultation。　　As　we　rattled　past　the　Waite　house　I　waved　my　cap　to　Captivity　and　indulged　in　the　pleasing　hope　that　she　would　be　lonesome　without　me。　　Much　of　the　satisfaction　of　going　away　arises　from　the　thought　that　those　you　leave　behind　are　likely　to　be　wretchedly　miserable　during　your　absence。

My　Uncle　Cephas　lived　in　a　house　so　very　different　from　my　grandmother's　that　it　took　me　some　time　to　get　used　to　the　place。　　Uncle　Cephas　was　a　lawyer；　and　his　style　of　living　was　not　at　all　like　grandmother's；　he　was　to　have　been　a　minister；　but　at　twelve　years　of　age　he　attended　the　county　fair；　and　that　incident　seemed　to　change　the　whole　bent　of　his　life。　　At　twenty…one　he　married　Samantha　Talbott；　and